What A Difference A Bra Makes: Buying A New Bra, What A Easy Way To Change Your Look. (Part III Of V)

10 Bra Mistakes You’re Probably Making (And How To Fix Them)

Bras are complicated little buggers — buying them is anxiety-inducing, washing them is time-consuming and getting them to lay right under clothes sometimes seems aggravatingly impossible.

But we’re here to tell you that it gets better. Women are making so many mistakes when it comes to their bras, from buying them to maintaining them, that it just takes knowing what you’re doing wrong first to actually get it right. So we talked to bra fitting specialist Bobbie Smith of Freshpair to walk us through what we women are getting wrong — and how we can make peace with these complex garments once and for all.

Here are the 10 bra mistakes you’re most likely making:

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1. Choosing a bra by cup size.

So we shouldn’t be choosing bras based on cup size? Nope, says Smith — instead, start with the numerical band size. “Cup sizes are directly related to a band size,” she told us. “So for somebody to say, ‘Oh, I’m a D cup’ is irrelevant unless you know what band size it’s correlated with.” Cup sizes are not standard, meaning you may be a D with one band size but a E with another size band. A 32D bra is a cup size smaller than a 34D, for example. Letting go of whatever cup size you think you are will allow you to explore and find the best-fitting bra for you. Which leads us to…

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2. Wearing a bra that’s too small.

Many women’s identities are tied up in their cup sizes, Bobbie says, making them resistant to go up a cup size in order to go down a band size. But you may be wearing a 36C when your ribcage measurement is a 32… which would require you to buy a bra that’s a 32E. “A lot of women I fit, I bring them down to a smaller back band size and and suddenly their cup sounds huge,” says Bobbie, “and they think that it’s a character flaw.” Own that larger cup size — it means your bra will actually fit you better.

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3. Fastening your bra on the tightest hooks.

When measuring your band size, you should go according to the outermost set of hooks, not the innermost. “A bra is going to stretch about three inches in its lifetime,” says Bobbie, and when it does, “that’s when you go to the next set of hooks.” Buy a bra that fits snugly on the last set of hooks, and only later should you need to use the tighter ones.

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4. Letting the band ride up on your back.

“The back band should never be higher than the underwire,” says Bobbie. If it does, it doesn’t fit you properly.

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5. Insisting on a contour-style bra instead of a softer seamed, lined bra.

Contour bras are the molded ones, the kind that keep their shape even when they’re in your drawer (and that you usually find at Victoria’s Secret). Seamed bras are the soft ones with floppy fabric cups that mold to the shape of your breast. Which one is right for you, says Bobbie, depends on the texture of your boobs. “If your breasts are firm and they sit up high on their own,” Bobbie recommends, “then you can get away with the push-up bras and the contour style.” But if, like most women, your breasts are softer and not naturally perky, “they’re going to settle at the bottom of the contour cup and you’ll going to have space at the top of the strap.”

Why does this happen? “A breast is naturally cone-shaped, not round,” Bobbie explains, “so when you wear a contour with its own shape, you’re trying to fit soft tissue into that shape.” That’s when you get spillage or “quadra-boob.” The seams of a seamed bra, on the other hand, function like the support beams of a house, giving structure and shape to the breast. They work with your breasts to mold to them, instead of your breasts having to fit into a pre-determined shape.

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6. Thinking you can wear one bra with every type of outfit.

Yeah, you just can’t. Certain dresses are going to require a more perky shape, while some shirts might look better if your breasts sit lower and flatter. Try different bras for each item of clothing you have to ensure you’re pairing your outfit with the best bra possible.

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7. Wearing a bra two days in a row.

You may have that one bra you love, but bras shouldn’t be worn two days in a row. “Letting a bra rest at least one day in between wear will help the elastic regain its strength,” Bobbie tell us. “When you’re wearing it two days in a row, it’s like pulling on a muscle — it’s going to strain it and it won’t be able to snap back.” One thing that helps keep that elastic fresh? “Washing it in cold water helps it, because the cold water shocks it.” Oh, and while you’re at it…

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8. Washing your bras with Woolite.

Your mother might have given you that first bottle of Woolite for your delicates, but Bobbie revealed to us that Woolite is actually terrible for bras: “It was actually designed to soften wool, so you shouldn’t use that on elastic, because you want the elastic to stay firm.” That actually makes a lot of sense.

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9. Keeping a bra for too long.

“When worn correctly and taken care of correctly, a bra is going to last you about eight months,” Bobbie broke it to us. “After that, the band is stretched out, so it’s not going to support you anymore.” That’s why you should have six to seven bras in your wardrobe so you can rotate them, making them last longer.

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10. Settling for a bra that doesn’t fit.

“Women just accept the fact that bras just aren’t going to fit,” lamented Bobbie. Guilty as charged — we get aggravated and tired of bra shopping and simply settle for a bra that kinda, sorta fits instead of a bra that fits perfectly.

But now that we know exactly what we’re doing wrong, we can get reacquainted with the measuring tape and get back out on the bra buying circuit. For a peek into what a custom bra fitting experience is like, read our own tale here.

Got a bra you love? Now treat it right: (www.huffingtonpost.com)

Continue to IV Of V



What A Difference A Bra Makes: Buying A New Bra, What A Easy Way To Change Your Look. (Part II Of V)

Modern Changes

8 Steps To New Boobs (Or How The Right Bra Can Change Your Life)

A properly fitting bra makes all the difference. Seriously. A properly fitting bra makes all the difference. Seriously.

I’ve been fitting women for bras for ten years, and can say authoritatively that most women are wearing the wrong size. What many women don’t realize is that sore shoulders, irritated skin, or an aching back can often be relieved by a properly fitting bra. Even if you aren’t experiencing physical discomfort, you might notice your shirts bunching or gaping…this, too, can be caused by an ill-fitting bra.

Especially for a woman with a large bust, the right bra can literally change your life. So I’ve put together eight quick tips to help you revitalize your girls and start 2017 with some renewed lift.

 1. Cup Size Has No Meaning.

When getting a bra, your cup needs a band size for it to be meaningful. In other words, not all Cs are created equal. A 32C has a much smaller cup than a 44C. And a 32C, 34B and 36A bra will all have the same cup size. So don’t focus on the letter. Focus on how the bra fits you.

2. It’s All About The Band!

Since our culture tends to talk more about the cup, I want to make sure I really emphasize the band part of a measurement! A properly fitting band is crucial because more than 90% of the support from your bra comes from the band. The larger your breasts are, the more important it is that your band fits properly.

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3. Wear It Snug.

Often, women look for a looser band because they don’t want to show any back fat or bulging skin around the band. But if the band is too loose, the bra rides up and the breasts droop down. To get proper support, you need a properly fitted band, even if that means a little back fat. Wearing a thicker band can help to minimize back fat while still providing the support that you need. Your band should fit snug so that it stays in place when you move.

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4. How Low Can You Go?

Your bra band should rest so the bra is slightly lower in the back than the front. Is your bra digging in or poking you? Try pulling your band down just a smidge in the back – you’ll be amazed at how good it feels. (Remember — to get it to stay there, you may have to tighten it a notch or two!)

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5. Never Compromise On Your Band.

Unfortunately, many stores carry limited size ranges. This means they’ll often try to fit women into a larger band just to get a large enough cup for their breasts. (Remember, the cup on a larger band will be larger than the same letter cup on a smaller band.)

A woman should never compromise on band size. There are plenty of women with a large bust and small band. Just ask my customers who wear 34K or 30L.

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6.Seams Are Your Friends.

Even if you’re wearing the proper bra size, you might not be choosing the right style for your breasts. Molded, seamless cups are a great choice for a totally smooth shape, and work great under t-shirts or thin material.

However, for many women, molded cups are not the best choice. With a molded cup, the bra has its own shape – and your breast either fits it, or it doesn’t. With a seamed bra, the bra will conform to match the shape of your breasts, instead of the other way around, giving you that va-va-vivacious shape you have been craving.

Women with large cup sizes find they are supported in a seamed bra, even without underwire. This is because seamed bras with side support push the breast tissue forward and really give the effect of a lighter profile. Imagine moving your arms without brushing against your breasts all the time? This can become your reality with seamed cups and a good fit. This is me (size 36J!) with a seamless bra (before) and seamed bra (after) – it looks like I lost 20 lbs – but all I did was to change my bra!

7. Get A Professional Bra Fitting.

Bras are such an important part of our wardrobe as women, and nearly 80% of us are wearing the wrong size or style. Finding the right bra (especially after your body has gone through changes like pregnancy or weight fluctuations) can put an end to your evening sprint to change into your pajamas after work. Because there are so many options (and no matter what size you are, you do have options), it’s important to find a knowledgeable bra fitter who will give you personalized attention.

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8. Do It Virtually.

If you don’t have access to a professional fitter in your part of the world, do it virtually with an expert who specializes in it.

Letting an experienced lingerie expert help you opens the door to someone who knows which brands run bigger in the cup or tighter through the band. It also saves you the stress of ordering something online that might be several letters (or inches) off in terms of fit.

One of my most rewarding experiences was fitting a woman who had been wearing a 36D bra. This size was obviously not right for her, but she’d been to several stores and this is what she kept ending up with. When she left me, she was wearing a 34H and she couldn’t have been happier – so much so that she gave me a giant hug on her way out the door.  (ravishly.com)

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Continue To Part III Of V

What A Difference A Bra Makes: Buying A New Bra, What A Easy Way To Change Your Look. (Part I Of V)

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Bra’s have changed over time, and they are not only different, they are better.

A bra history: As fashions evolved so did the undergarment

Women are showing support for breast cancer awareness on national No Bra Day by tossing off their brassieres — an article of clothing that has evolved over thousands of years.

The modern day bra has only become popular in the past century — but in it’s short history, it has evolved dramatically with the changing standards of beauty.

In honor of the so-called holiday, here is a brief history of the bra:

Ancient Greece (8th century B.C. to 600 A.D.)

Although most women of this time went braless, there is evidence that women in Greece wrapped a band of wool or linen across their breasts as the first ever bra.

3rd century

Roman women wrapped bandages around their chest to secure breasts during athletic activit ies.


The corset became the norm for middle and upper class women in western society.

The garment was considered proper and, with a lot of pressure, curved women’s bodies into hourglass shapes. But the apparel also caused difficulty breathing and had the potential of displacing organs, according to National Geographic.

Many looked at the corset as physical and symbolic restriction of women.


The word brassiere premiered in American Vogue before being listed in the Oxford English Dictionary in 1 911.


The modern bra was patented by a New York City socialite named Caresse Crosby, according to NPR.

She created the “backless brassiere” out of two handkerchiefs and pink ribbon when her corset poked through her gown.

When other girls saw her dancing freely at a party without the constraints of the corset, they asked her to make more.

The bras were one size fits all with stretchable material.

The Corset shaped women into hourglass shapes with tiny waists and large chests. But women suffered from difficulty breathing and organ displacement.
The Corset shaped women into hourglass shapes with tiny waists and large chests. But women suffered from difficulty breathing and organ displacement. (AP Photo/The Museum at FIT, Eileen Costa/AP)



During World War I, many American women joined the workforce while men were fighting overseas — leading to most women ditching their corsets because it posed too much restraint, according to Women’s Health.

This provided 28,000 tons of metal, enough to make two battleships, for the war.


The ditch of the corsets and the Roaring Twenties led to the popularity of the androgynous look of the flat chested flapper, according to National Geographic.

To flatten their chests, women wore bandeau style bras.


The modern system of sizing was introduced by William and Ida Rosenthal to help with breast support.


The bra industry really blossomed when adjustable elastic straps were introduced.


The bullet-shaped bra became popular as more women were working in factories since the men were off at war.

Women nixed the corset and enter factories when the men when to war.
Women nixed the corset and enter factories when the men when to war. (Handout)



With the introduction of curvy women like Marilyn Monroe, full-figured bodies became the style and bras followed the trend.

The first padded bra called the “Rising Star” was created, according to Women’s Health, followed by the push-up bra a year later.

The product was introduced by Frederick Mellinger, who also created the first front-hook bra, colorful bustiers and introduced American women to the thong by the 1980s.


At the Miss America pageant, feminists tried to burn bras and called them “instruments of female torture,” according to Women’s Health.

Police stopped them before they could burn the undergarments, according to Women’s Health.


The same year Victoria Secret was founded, two women created the jogbra or the original sports bra by fashioning two jockstraps together, according to Women’s Health.

The modern look for bras is for them to be barely there.
The modern look for bras is for them to be barely there. (TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images)



This decade introduced a variety of designs including one strap, strapless, memory foam bras and the corset bra, according to Good House Keeping.


Over the past 15 years, the average bra size ballooned from 34B to 36DD. So, bra companies introduced new sizes, including L, KK and N.


The demand now is for minimal bras that fit to low necklines and larger breasts, according to NPR.

But there are movements to rid the bra and experts predict that the brassiere, just like the corset, will meet its end.


Continue to II Of V


Alpha Female, Are You An Alpha Female? How To Date An Alpha Female, And What A Individual Need To Know, When Dating An Alpha. VI Of VI

Lastly What is Alpha Female Looking For In A Man

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18 Qualities Every Alpha Woman Should Look For In Boyfriend



The Alpha Female is a strong, majestic female. She can often be intimidating to those around her and isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. She’s killing it in her career and has a solid group of friends to rely on.

A strong Alpha Woman needs a man who’s her equal, her partner, her greatest supporter. By definition, you’d think that she should want an Alpha Male, but he can provide only passion, not steadiness. She also doesn’t get along with Beta Males because they’re too weak to keep her or pique her interest.

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So, who’s right for the mighty Alpha Female? What kind of man can keep her grounded while still challenging her to grow and be the best she can?

May I introduce Type Z: a man who’s equal parts solid and charismatic. He’s her rock, her foundation. He’s not intimidated by her successes nor would he allow her to walk all over him. He’s true to himself and true to her.

An Alpha Woman knows what she needs to have a sturdy partnership with a man who’ll be her ally, her confidant and her best friend.

These are 18 qualities every Alpha Female should look for in a boyfriend:

1. He’s someone who can tease you and also be teased.

He’d never be malicious or say something  to hurt your feelings, but he can give a joke just as well as you can.

You know each other well enough to know when you’ve crossed the line, but your shared love of sarcasm and your knowledge of each other’s weak spots make teasing fun — never threatening.

2. He challenges you.

He’s as strong as you are, but more subdued. He’ll push you to be the best you can be and challenge every decision you make — but you’ll love him for it.

Life with him is always exciting and never ceases to surprise you.

3. He doesn’t get jealous.

He’s confident enough to know that the mild flirtations you have at a cocktail party and your unyielding friendship with your work husband are never a threat to your relationship.

He knows you’re his and never feels the need to question you because your relationship was built on a foundation of trust.

4. He isn’t waiting on you, he has his own plans.

He has his own life and respects that you have yours. He’s never going to give you a hard time about wanting to hit the club with your girls.

Trinette Reed

Instead, he encourages you to spend time with them whenever you want to because he knows whom you’re coming home to.

5. He doesn’t air your dirty laundry.

He has your full trust, and you can tell each other anything. You’re not afraid your embarrassing stories are going to come back to you when you meet his family or when you meet his friends for drinks.

What’s said between the two of you stays between the two of you. Well, except for your BFF; she knows everything from what he’s got going on downstairs to his latest promotion at work.

6. He knows how to deal with your bad moods.

He’s a source of comfort for you. You feel at ease with him. When you’re angry, he somehow knows how to deal with you with more grace than anyone else.

Depending on how you’re feeling, angsty and emotional or overwhelmed and exhausted, he lets you have your space and knows when to hold you in his arms.

7. When he apologizes, he really means it.

If he’s done something wrong, he’ll always be man enough to admit it and tell you he’s sorry. He’s not arrogant or pigheaded — he won’t do something sh*tty and turn the tables on you, and he won’t hurt your feelings and make you feel stupid for being upset.

He’s a man, not a boy — and a man always knows when he needs to apologize.

8. He’s moving at the same speed you are.

Whether in his current career or his lofty life goals, he always seems to be moving at the same speed you are. He knows what he wants and respects what you want. He’s never pushy or demoralizing — just steadily moving from one goal to the next with a very bright future in sight.

9. He doesn’t belittle you, but he doesn’t put you on pedestal either.

He’s slow and steady, but never a doormat. He doesn’t idolize you but doesn’t make you feel small. He treats you like the fierce woman you are. He also likes to spoil you, but would never give you everything you want.

He’ll always keep you guessing. He’s your partner, not your provider. He’s there because he wants you, not because he needs you.

10. He is someone who teaches, but never lectures.

The best partnerships are the ones in which both people can learn from each other. He’s a well of knowledge and loves to provide you with new information and insights on things he’s passionate about.

You learn from him in many ways, but you never feel like he’s pushing you or judging you. You both teach other lessons that make you better people and better citizens of the world.

11. He makes you laugh.

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. -Marilyn Monroe

If he doesn’t make you laugh, you’ll soon grow tired of him. Laughter is one of the most important qualities in a partner. Your shared love of sarcasm and his sharp wit complement each other perfectly.

12. He’ll call you out when you need to be called out.

He’ll never fail to tell you how it is. He’s not scared to hurt your feelings, and he doesn’t tiptoe around you, either. If you’re acting like a raging b*tch or are completely talking out of your ass, you can bet your ass he’ll call you out on it.

He doesn’t let you get away with stupid bullsh*t, not because he doesn’t care about you, but because he doesn’t want to be jerked around by those Alpha Female ways.

13. He wants to be the wind beneath your wings.

He’s a stoic man: strong, independent and sure of himself. He prefers to let you lead, but he’s always there to fully support you. He has no problem being the background; he’s there to be your strongest supporter and your steadfast foundation. He loves that you’re popular because you’re a person he’s very proud of.

Marija Savic

14. He isn’t the life of the party, but is always there if you need to be carried home.

He lets you be the social butterfly you naturally are. He doesn’t mind your vibrancy or doesn’t feel intimidated by your fiery, dynamic personality; instead, he embraces it. He’s also a protector.

He’ll pour you another drink, but take it away when you’ve had too much. He always takes care of you.

15. His opinions aren’t irrational, they’re backed up.

He reads a whole lot of books and stays informed on current events so he can have well-rounded opinions with factual bases. Being educated and sound in his understanding of the world around him is very important to him.

16. He knows when to drop it and when to address it.

He’ll stand his ground when he knows he is right. Though he’ll argue with you, he’s not unwilling to concede if it means ending a fight. You’re strong-willed, and he knows when a difference in opinion or a questionable action is worth discussing or whether it’s better left alone.

17. He has dreams as big as yours.

He’s as career-focused as you are. You both genuinely care about each other’s endeavors. He doesn’t sit back and watch you achieve your dreams because he has passions and goals of his own. You two are a true power couple.

18. He’s a great listener, but also expects to be heard.

He knows when to talk and he knows when to keep his mouth shut. He quietly and patiently listens to everything you have to say, but he expects you to do the same for him.


Alpha Female, Are You An Alpha Female? How To Date An Alpha Female, And What A Individual Need To Know, When Dating An Alpha. III Of VI

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How To Date An Alpha Female

Thinking Of Dating An Alpha Female? Read This First

Most people are familiar with the concept of an alpha male — a physically strong and socially dominant man who generally has his pick of the (straight) women around him. The alpha female, however, is a more recent phenomenon, thanks in part to the feminist movement that took hold in the 1960s and is continuing to break down economic and social barriers for women today.

It’s worth noting, before we continue further, that the whole concept of “alpha” and “beta” men and women is more than a little problematic. The terminology originally arose within the field of biology: Scientists would observe groups of animals and determine the rank of its respective members, categorizing each of them from most to least dominant according to letters of the Greek alphabet.

It’s a crude and sometimes inaccurate way to think about the social relationships of human beings, who have much more complex hierarchies and scales of dominance than monkeys, say, or lions. However, taken with a grain of salt, it can be a useful framework for understanding different types of men and women.

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Caveats aside, what is actually meant by an “alpha female”? Well, broadly speaking, an alpha female is a successful, driven woman who doesn’t fit the stereotypical female role: submissive, yielding and unambitious; happy to let her man be the star of the show and fade unobtrusively into the background. Alpha females are generally women with distinct Type A personalities: people who tend to be more competitive, outgoing, ambitious and impatient than their more relaxed and unhurried Type B counterparts.

It’s worth noting, before we continue further, that the whole concept of “alpha” and “beta” men and women is more than a little problematic. The terminology originally arose within the field of biology: Scientists would observe groups of animals and determine the rank of its respective members, categorizing each of them from most to least dominant according to letters of the Greek alphabet.

It’s a crude and sometimes inaccurate way to think about the social relationships of human beings, who have much more complex hierarchies and scales of dominance than monkeys, say, or lions. However, taken with a grain of salt, it can be a useful framework for understanding different types of men and women.

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Caveats aside, what is actually meant by an “alpha female”? Well, broadly speaking, an alpha female is a successful, driven woman who doesn’t fit the stereotypical female role: submissive, yielding and unambitious; happy to let her man be the star of the show and fade unobtrusively into the background. Alpha females are generally women with distinct Type A personalities: people who tend to be more competitive, outgoing, ambitious and impatient than their more relaxed and unhurried Type B counterparts.

As women’s rights become more and more accepted within the mainstream, it’s likely that greater numbers of women will fit into the “alpha female” category. Women are increasingly likely to assert their worth and venture bold opinions; pursue ambitious (and traditionally male-dominated) careers; and be more unabashedly sexually adventurous than ever before — all very much alpha female territory.

But what does this all mean for the men who date alpha females? Are there special rules and ways of behaving? Should you feel different about your own masculinity because your partner is an alpha? And how does dating an alpha female differ from dating other types of women? To help you answer these questions, here are five tips to bear in mind when dating an alpha female:

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1. Her Success Doesn’t “Emasculate” You

There’s an unfortunate cultural trope left over from the bygone era of traditional gender roles: if a woman is successful and ambitious within a relationship, then she must “wear the pants.” This leaves you, the man, wearing… well… the dress and apron, we suppose?

It’s nonsense, obviously. There’s room for more than one driven personality within a relationship — in fact, ambitious people tend to pair together, contrary to the stereotypes. But longstanding cultural attitudes die hard, and often even well-meaning and open-minded men can’t help but feel a little bit emasculated by the success of their female partners.

One way to help keep these feelings at bay is to remember that they are partly just good old-fashioned human insecurity, which is a completely normal impulse. Regardless of your gender, it’s always difficult to remain completely calm and collected when you feel as though a peer is outstripping you in a personal, economic or social sense. These feelings are going to persist — or even be exacerbated — when the person doing the outstripping is your most intimate partner. Simply recognizing that insecurity (and perhaps even jealousy) is rearing its ugly head can help you keep these feelings from burgeoning out of control.

Whenever you feel a sense of jealousy, shame or emasculation because of your alpha female partner, it can also help to step back, take a few deep breaths and take stock of the situation. Would you really prefer your partner wasn’t successful, outgoing and ambitious? Probably not, right? And, deep down, aren’t you proud of your partner’s successes, and happy for her? Of course you are. While feelings of insecurity are perfectly normal, try to bring things back into perspective as often as possible.

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2. Treat Her With The Same Respect You’d Afford An Alpha Male

Unfortunately, ambitious, successful women are still treated very differently to ambitious, successful men. Alpha females are labelled “aggressive” or “bitchy” for expressing their opinions and desires, whereas men behaving the exact same way are more likely to be considered “assertive” or “confident”. This is a distressing double standard for women, so if you’re dating an alpha female, make sure you aren’t letting her gender negatively impact how you view her, intentionally or otherwise.

Part of this means discussing the unique issues she faces as an alpha female in good faith, without endlessly playing devil’s advocate. There are certain basic arguments that driven, successful women get really sick of hearing, simply due to how often they’re repeated to them. “Women are too emotional to do certain jobs!” or “Women are naturally suited to caring for kids!” are refrains alpha females hear repeatedly, and it’s tiresome to have to debunk them over and over, especially to a partner who is meant to have her back.

If you’re genuinely curious about what life is like for your alpha female partner, there’s a wealth of material on the internet available for you to read up on. Websites like Everyday Feminism can help you better understand the unique (and perhaps not immediately obvious) issues she faces in the workplace and on the street, and authors like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Heather Havrilesky regularly tackle the issues that alpha females face with wit and warmth.

3. Have A Measured Attitude Towards Her Sexuality

As double standards about women’s sexuality become less socially acceptable, greater numbers of women are adopting freer attitudes towards sex and sexuality. As a result, your alpha female partner may be more relaxed about casual and/or experimental sex than women from previous generations (or more traditional women today), and, as her partner, you might have some strong feelings about that.

If your alpha female partner has an “adventurous” sex life, make sure that you discuss this with her respectfully. Avoid slut-shaming her, and don’t laugh at her kinks and desires if she’s opened up and shared them with you. At the same time, though, avoid taking a prurient or fetishistic interest in her sex life — this is an intimate area that you’re sharing together, so avoid treating her like a bug under a microscope. In short, be open-minded, respectful and conciliatory; just like she should be when it comes to your desires.

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4. Consider Her Competing Commitments

An alpha female is likely to have a lot going on in her life: a busy and demanding job, extracurricular activities, a thriving social life and family commitments. This means that she won’t be able to dedicate every minute of every day to you, just as you can’t for her.

Dating an alpha female may involve an extra level of organization to make sure that your busy schedules can be synced to allow you time together. She is also likely to suffer from the occasional bout of stress from work, and may need additional down time to manage this. The two of you will need open communication to ensure that you’re spending enough time together, without both becoming over-burdened by commitments.

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5. Recognize The Benefits

At times it might be an easy thing to forget, but dating an alpha female is not a chore or cause for alarm – in fact, it’s a joy and a privilege! We’re not talking about sinister, power-hungry demon-women like Cruella Deville or Ursula from The Little Mermaid here; we’re talking about regular, human women who happen to have levels of ambition we traditionally (and wrongly) associated only with men.

There are plenty of benefits to dating an alpha female. To start with, you’ll receive all the usual relationship trappings like company, conversation and physical intimacy, but you’re also likely to receive additional levels of inspiration and motivation from an alpha female partner. Your partner can adopt the role of mentor or teacher when you need to improve in areas she excels at (and vice-versa), and the two of you can share your networks and skill sets.

Finally, you will enjoy the levels of independence in your alpha female partner. Driven, successful women are unlikely to be clingy and needy, and because they are so self-sufficient, you never need to feel as though you are being “used” for your income.

Dating an alpha female does bring with it certain specific challenges, but these are easily addressed using the above tips. Overall, the positives easily outweigh the challenges, and dating an alpha female means that you’re destined for power couple status.

Continue To Part Four Of Four