Quick Guide To Buying Tires, When You Don’t Know Anything About Tires!!! I Of III

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Buying A New Tire After A Flat:

It was seven pm and Malinda finished her report and could finally go home, she was tired because she just pulled a twelve hour shift.  As she was leaving the company parking lot, she heard a funny sound, she thought to herself, “It must be my tires.”  She turned up the radio to try to relax and continued home.

As she entered the house her husband Jack said: Hey Baby, another long one, huh?  She replied:  Yeah, and not break for lunch or anything, you know how it goes, end of the month reports.  Her husband finished with “O.K. your food is in the microwave,”  “I tried to keep it warm.” She answered: “Thanks Baby”.  Getting her food from the microwave she said to herself, WOW This looks good but I’m too tired to eat.  So she took her shower an went to bed.

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The next morning she got a shower, brushed her teeth, a cup of coffee and off to work. As she pulled out of her space the car began to pull to the right and it started making noise, she got out the car and inspected it for damages, and she didn’t see any, maybe because it was too dark for her to notice?  she continued on her route to work the car continued to pull to the right but it started to make more noise and it was getting louder.  As she pulled into her parking space at the office, she got out the car and there it was, a flat tire.

Remembering she had “roadside assistance” she called and the mechanic and he was on his way, and with in thirty minutes her spare was on and she was “back in business.” However she need to get a new spare tire, and she didn’t know anything about tires. She said to herself, “Hey I can figure this out,” and went on the internet to this web site and learned a “crash course” on tires.

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The Ultimate Tire Buying Guide: How to Buy the Right Tires


Buying new tires can be a confusing chore. What do all those numbers mean? Should I go with winter tires or all-season? And, of course, how do I know when I need new ones?

Taking care of your tires and maintaining good driving habits can help extend the life of your tires, but eventually you’ll need a new set. That’s why we’ve put together this comprehensive tire buying guide with all the information you’ll need to help make an informed choice. The first order of business: Know when your tires need to be replaced.

Tire buying guide table of contents

  1. Do you need new tires?
  2. Choosing tires
  3. How to read a tire’s sidewall
  4. Types of tires
  5. Common tire questions

Do you need to buy new tires?

Vehicle manufacturers typically recommend that your tires be changed every six years, regardless of wear and tear. Check your owner’s manual to see what your car maker suggests.

Have a mechanic inspect your tires regularly for signs of wear or damage. You should also check them out regularly, as well. Look for the factors below:

  • Tread depth – Place a penny upside down into the treads or grooves. If you can clearly see Lincoln’s entire head, your treads are likely worn and it may be time to replace them.
  • Sidewall cracks – Check for cuts or deformations in the sidewalls. If you see any grooves, your tire could be on the verge of a leak.
  • Bulges or blisters – A noticeable bulge or blister could indicate a weak outer surface.
  • Vibration – Does your car vibrate noticeably when you’re driving? This could indicate problems now and potential danger down the road.

If you need new tires, buy the size and type specifically for your car. Mixing different tire types could not only cause damage, but could also be dangerous.

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Buying the right tires

Tire terminology you should know

On the sidewall (the outer and inner sides) of a tire, you’ll find the following information:

  • Tire Specs – Size, construction and speed rating. Speed rating is the approximate speed a tire can safely maintain over time. The higher the rating (A is the lowest and Y is the highest), the better the handling and control. However, a higher speed rating may result in a shorter tread life. Check with your carmaker for the proper speed-rated tire for your model.
  • Department of Transportation Safety Code – This code certifies the tire manufacturer meets U.S. Department of Transportation tire safety standards. It is followed by your tire’s ID number, plus information about where and when the tire was manufactured.
  • Uniform Tire Quality Grading (UTQG) – The testing method used to grade a tire’s tread wear, traction and temperature.
  • Icons – Features a tire’s unique benefits. For example, “M+S” means the tire meets the Rubber Manufacturers Association standards for mud and snow.

WOW!!! Rappers Are Making Snacks Now???

Spotlight: Rap Snacks CEO James Lindsay on Building a New Marketplace for Hip-Hop


Courtesy of Rap Snacks, Inc.
James Lindsay, CEO of Rap Snacks, Inc.

“I knew that I created a brand years ago that I could rebrand and make synonymous with what’s going on in today’s world.”

There’s been a lot of talk these days about hip-hop going pop. But what about going popcorn? Or potato chips, or cheese puffs for that matter? Rap Snacks CEO and majority owner James Lindsay is bringing some of the genre’s biggest stars to convenience stores around the country by putting their likenesses on bags of chips, each featuring their own specifically-designed flavors with an exercise in next-level branding that’ll have music fans licking their lips.

Lindsay originally launched the company in 1994 with a brand partnership with Master P, but things slowed down for Rap Snacks around 2011. But after spending years co-managing Meek Mill (a role he still holds), last year Lindsay rebranded and relaunched the business, sorting out previous issues with manufacturing and distribution and rolling out new flavors that included Migos‘ Sour Cream with a Dab of Ranch, which even got its own jingle from the superstar trio.

Now, in markets around the East Coast and Midwest (with plans to expand westward) there are packs of Fetty Wap‘s Honey Jalapeño, Boosie Badazz‘s Louisiana Heat, Fabolous‘ New York Deli Cheddar and Romeo Miller‘s Bar-B-Quin with My Honey chips — the only holdover from the old flavors, which Lindsay claims to be the first-ever honey barbecue chip, created when Miller was known as Lil Romeo. (Miller, Master P’s son, is a limited partner in the company.) And, as of Sunday, Lindsay — who designs the flavors himself — has added four more varieties to the Rap Snacks roster: Lil Yachty‘s Hot Cheese Fries and Hot Chili Pepper & Lime Crunchy Curls, Trina‘s Honey Jalapeño cheese puffs and Migos’ new White Cheddar with a Dab of Ranch Popcorn. The company even has Rap Snacks-branded vending machines that will be going out to the market soon, playing music videos by their various endorsers.

Tuma Basa (Global Head of Hip Hop, Spotify), Shana Barry (Experiential Manager Music and Entertainment, Anheuser-Busch InBev), Sacha Jenkins (CCO, Mass Appeal), Ethiopia Habtemariam (President, Motown Records), Andre Torres (VP, Urban Music, UMG/UME) during the panel about "Is your brand prepared for a hip-hop future seminar?" for Advertising Week New York 2017.


Universal Music, Mass Appeal, Spotify Execs Talk Branding In a Hip-Hop World at NYC’s Advertising Week

Lindsay says it’s the years spent working with Meek Mill where he saw changes in the music industry that signaled the time was right to bring Rap Snacks back. “I just noticed that with the internet these kids were really into items that were approved by the artists and I knew that I created a brand years ago that I could rebrand and make synonymous with what’s going on in today’s world,” he says. “Social media has played a big part in the resurgence of Rap Snacks, because people knew about it but everybody didn’t know about it.”

As far as the business goes, Lindsay says each flavor is a partnership with the artist. “I told these guys, ‘You make what I make,'” he says. “The new version of Rap Snacks is something just to teach these guys the power of their brand. Years ago they needed a lot of these big companies to pay them to do X, Y and Z, now they’re becoming the brand where they can sell through all their social media followers and they don’t really need those big companies anymore. They can make a lot of money just promoting their own brand.”

And, maybe in this case, their own chips too.

(L-R) Lil Yachty's Hot Chili Pepper & Lime Crunchy Curls, Trina's Honey Jalapeño Cheese Puffs and Migos' new White Cheddar with a Dab of Ranch Popcorn
Courtesy of Rap Snacks, Inc.
(L-R) Lil Yachty’s Hot Chili Pepper & Lime Crunchy Curls, Trina’s Honey Jalapeño Cheese Puffs and Migos’ new White Cheddar with a Dab of Ranch Popcorn


When you’re coming up make sure you focus on something that you really love to do. Do your research, be innovative and outwork everybody.

My big break came two years ago, when we relaunched Rap Snacks, because social media had caught up with the Rap Snacks brand. The Migos’ Rap Snacks jingle was the breaking point.

Dealing with musicians is very different because you have to learn how to think like they think. A lot of times they are in a more creative space when it comes to business. You have to learn how to meet them in the middle in order to build relationships and get the job done.

When I strategize I try to focus on the present and the future of how I am looking to move my business forward. A part of strategizing is out-of-the-box thinking. It’s called the surprise effect… People don’t see you coming.

I’ve learned to move in silence. I’ve learned to also be patient and be very strategic about how you move.

The best advice I’ve received is to do you… Be you, believe in your talents and bet on yourself instead of other people.

Spotlight is a new Billboard.biz series that aims to highlight those in the music business making innovative or creative moves, or who are succeeding in behind-the-scenes or under-the-radar roles. For submissions for the series, please contact spotlight@billboard.com.

What Does Community Mean To Us. Part I Of III

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Today everything gets a new face from the older actors and actresses to the new face of up and coming modernizing of stores and with that idea of everything up and coming we have to recreate of : family, to genders, to chose, and community. Communities are also getting a new look or face-lift, are no longer they the places were we cut our grasses the same, invite our neighbors over for a barbecue, or the place we let our kids out to play, with modernization its turning into the Utopian bases were we launch our new life and belief system and the place were we allow others to do the same, and dare not question without being criticized, shunned, or ostracized. Today community is a hodgepodge of many new and different beliefs and ideas which make it a different kind of fun, new, interesting, and sometimes change could be a bit scary but exciting and in this blog, I will look at view of american society, when asked the question: What does community mean to You?

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Community People:

“Usually… community people are more aware than others that they are searching for an identity, for personal and corporate significance. They sense a need to belong, to build relationships, to become whole. They want to commit themselves to a cause that offers hope – to them personally and to the world in which they live.”(www.christianitytoday.com)

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What Does ‘Community’ Mean?

The term’s evolution makes a nice metaphor for the rise of American individualism—and the decline of trust in American institutions.

Mario Anzuoni / Reuters
For much of the 20th century, if you asked someone to define “community,” they’d very likely give you an answer that involved a physical location. One’s community derived from one’s place—one’s literal place—in the world: one’s school, one’s neighborhood, one’s town. In the 21st century, though, that primary notion of “community” has changed. The word as used today tends to involve something at once farther from and more intimate than one’s home: one’s identity. “A body of people or things viewed collectively,” the Oxford English Dictionary sums it up. Community, in this sense, is not merely something that one fits into; it is also something one chooses for oneself, through a process of self-discovery. It is based on shared circumstances, certainly, but offers a transcendent kind of togetherness. It is active rather than passive. The LGBTQ community. The Latino community. The intelligence community. The journalism community.
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For Bill Bishop, the author of The Big Sort:Why the Clustering of Like-Minded America Is Tearing Us Apart, that semantic shift speaks to a much broader transformation in American life. It speaks to the rise of the individual as a guiding force in culture; it speaks as well to the declining power of institutions to offer that guidance. As Bishop told a group at the Aspen Ideas Festival, co-sponsored by the Aspen Institute and The Atlantic: “It used to be that people were born as part of a community, and had to find their place as individuals. Now people are born as individuals, and have to find their community.”That change is on display, he said, in many facets of American culture, political and otherwise. Marriage, Bishop noted, is today commonly conceived less as a semi-self-sacrificial commitment—forsaking all others—and more as a means to deeper personal fulfillment. Journalism today is more and more commonly rendered in the first person, explicitly or implicitly, because the personal voice strikes many readers as more trustworthy than the institutional. In business, often, the willingness to break rules (“radical creativity”) is valued much more highly than the ability to fit in.“I’m not saying any of these are good or bad,” Bishop noted. “It’s just a switch in how we’re living in the world.” And that switch is perhaps most obvious in electoral politics, which, Bishop argued, has become “less about issues now than it is about asserting one’s identity.”

You could also argue that the issues are entirely about identity, and vice versa. What’s clear, however, is that the notion of “identity” itself—the word skyrocketed in usage starting in the second half of the 20th century—is changing our understanding of “community.” What is also clear is that identity, as a concept, is becoming solidified in American culture.

That’s in part a response to our changing communications technologies, Bishop pointed out. For one thing, Facebook and Tumblr and Twitter and Snapchat and their many fellow services emphasizes identity through a combination of consumption and performance: On Facebook, for example, one’s favorite music and one’s favorite news sites and the memes and jokes one shares suggest, in the aggregate, not just what they like, but who they are. For another thing, social media services, as information-sharing platforms, elide the gatekeeping function that traditional media once played. Friends trump faceless organizations. Familiarity trumps expertise. The digital world has both allowed for and ratified a culture of extreme individualism. As far as information goes, as Bishop put it: “I get to decide what’s true or not.”What will that situation mean for the country, as a collection not just of individuals, but also of communities? There’s reason, in one way, for pessimism. Alain Ehrenberg, in The Weariness of the Self, notes how psychologically exhausting it can be to be so constantly self-reliant. (As Bishop put it, “we’re not capable of doing that kind of self-construction every day.”) So identity construction, Ehrenberg argues, is at the root of things like depression, drug use, and even suicide. Defined that way, “identity” as a concept might, paradoxically, prove a challenge to American individuals.Image result for politically empowering.And yet—here is the optimistic take—identity is also politically empowering. “Community,” in the transcendent sense of the word, is empowering. The culture of individualism Bishop argues for may bring Bowling Alone-style sacrifices of social capital in physical communities; it can also bring with it, however, a different kind of social capital: one in which the individual person, rather than the group, is primary. One in which the very thing the founders wanted for the country they envisioned—a people who were united not just by mutable circumstance, but also by shared values—is realized. “Community,” after all, the OED notes, is rooted in the Middle French communité. The word may have come to suggest a “body of people who live in the same place,” but, initially, it meant something much simpler and much more powerful: “joint ownership.”

Continue To Part II Of III

Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part VI Of VI


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  1. Be warm and competent

Princeton University psychologists and their colleagues proposed the stereotype content model, which is a theory that people judge others based on their warmth and competence.

According to the model, if you can portray yourself as warm — i.e., noncompetitive and friendly — people will feel like they can trust you. If you seem competent — for example, if you have high economic or educational status — they’re more inclined to respect you.

Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy says it’s important to demonstrate warmth first and then competence, especially in business settings.

“From an evolutionary perspective,” Cuddy writes in her book “Presence,” “it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust.”

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  1. Reveal your flaws from time to time

According to the pratfall effect, people will like you more after you make a mistake — but only if they believe you are a competent person. Revealing that you aren’t perfect makes you more relatable and vulnerable toward the people around you.

Researcher Elliot Aronson at the University of Texas, Austin first discovered this phenomenon when he studied how simple mistakes can affect perceived attraction. He asked male students from the University of Minnesota to listen to tape recordings of people taking a quiz.

When people did well on the quiz but spilled coffee at the end of the interview, the students rated them higher on likability than when they did well on the quiz and didn’t spill coffee or didn’t do well on the quiz and spilled coffee.

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  1. Emphasize shared values

According to a classic study by Theodore Newcomb, people are more attracted to those who are similar to them. This is known as the similarity-attraction effect. In his experiment, Newcomb measured his subjects’ attitudes on controversial topics, such as sex and politics, and then put them in a University of Michigan-owned house to live together.

By the end of their stay, the subjects liked their housemates more when they had similar attitudes about the topics measured.

Interestingly, a more recent study from researchers at the University of Virginia and Washington University in St. Louis found that Air Force recruits liked each other more when they had similar negative personality traits than when they shared positive ones.

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  1. Casually touch them

Subliminal touching occurs when you touch a person so subtly that they barely notice. Common examples include tapping someone’s back or touching their arm, which can make them feel more warmly toward you.

In a French study, young men stood on street corners and talked to women who walked by. The men had double the success rate in striking up a conversation when they lightly touched the woman’s arms as they talked to them instead of doing nothing at all.

A University of Mississippi and Rhodes College experiment studied the effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping, and had some waitresses briefly touch customers on the hand or shoulder as they were returning their change. As it turns out, those waitresses earned significantly larger tips than the ones who didn’t touch their customers.

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  1. Smile

In one University of Wyoming study, nearly 100 undergraduate women looked at photos of another woman in one of four poses: smiling in an open-body position, smiling in a closed-body position, not smiling in an open-body position, or not smiling in a closed-body position. Results suggested that the woman in the photo was liked most when she was smiling, regardless of her body position.

More recently, researchers at Stanford University and the University of Duisburg-Essen found that students who interacted with each other through avatars felt more positively about the interaction when the avatar displayed a bigger smile.

Bonus: Another study suggested that smiling when you first meet someone helps ensure they’ll remember you later.

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  1. See the other person how they want to be seen

People want to be perceived in a way that aligns with their own beliefs about themselves. This phenomenon is described by self-verification theory. We all seek confirmations of our views, positive or negative.

For a series of studies at Stanford University and the University of Arizona, participants with positive and negative perceptions of themselves were asked whether they wanted to interact with people who had positive or negative impressions of them.

The participants with positive self-views preferred people who thought highly of them, while those with negative self-views preferred critics. This could be because people like to interact with those who provide feedback consistent with their known identity.

Other research suggests that when people’s beliefs about us line up with our own, our relationship with them flows more smoothly. That’s likely because we feel understood, which is an important component of intimacy.

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  1. Tell Them A Secret     

Self-disclosure may be one of the best relationship-building techniques.

In a study led by researchers at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, the California Graduate School of Family Psychology, the University of California, Santa Cruz, and Arizona State University, college students were paired off and told to spend 45 minutes getting to know each other.

Experimenters provided some student pairs with a series of questions to ask, which got increasingly deep and personal. For example, one of the intermediate questions was “How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” Other pairs were given small-talk-type questions. For example, one question was “What is your favorite holiday? Why?”

At the end of the experiment, the students who’d asked increasingly personal questions reported feeling much closer to each other than students who’d engaged in small talk.

You can try this technique on your own as you’re getting to know someone. For example, you can build up from asking easy questions (like the last movie they saw) to learning about the people who mean the most to them in life. When you share intimate information with another person, they are more likely to feel closer to you and want to confide in you in the future.

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  1. Show that you can keep their secrets, too

Two experiments led by researchers at the University of Florida, Arizona State University, and Singapore Management University found that people place a high value on both trustworthiness and trustingness in their relationships.

Those two traits proved especially important when people were imagining their ideal friend and ideal employee.

As Suzanne Degges-White of Northern Illinois University writes on PsychologyToday.com: “Trustworthiness is comprised of several components, including honesty, dependability, and loyalty, and while each is important to successful relationships, honesty and dependability have been identified as the most vital in the realm of friendships.”

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  1. Display a sense of humor

Research from Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles found that, regardless of whether people were thinking about their ideal friend or romantic partner, a sense of humor was really important.

Another study from researchers at DePaul University and Illinois State University found that using humor when you’re first getting to know someone can make the person like you more. In fact, the study suggested that participating in a humorous task (like having someone wear a blindfold while the other person teaches them a dance) can increase romantic attraction.

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  1. Let them talk about themselves

Harvard researchers recently discovered that talking about yourself may be inherently rewarding, the same way that food, money, and sex are.

In one study, the researchers had participants sit in an fMRI machine and respond to questions about either their own opinions or someone else’s. Participants had been asked to bring a friend or family member to the experiment, who was sitting outside the fMRI machine. In some cases, participants were told that their responses would be shared with the friend or relative; in other cases, their responses would be kept private.

Results showed that the brain regions associated with motivation and reward were most active when participants were sharing information publicly — but also were active when they were talking about themselves without anyone listening.

In other words, letting someone share a story or two about their life instead of blabbing about yours could give them more positive memories of your interaction.

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  1. Be a little vulnerable

Writing on PsychologyToday.com, Jim Taylor of the University of San Francisco argues that emotional openness — or the lack thereof — can explain why two people do or don’t click.

Yet Taylor admits:

“Emotional openness, of course, comes with risks that involve making yourself vulnerable and not knowing whether this emotional exposure will be accepted and reciprocated or rejected and deflected.”

It might be worth the risk — the same Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles study cited above found that expressiveness and openness are desirable and important traits in ideal companions.

It doesn’t matter whether that partner is a romantic partner or a friend.

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  1. Act like you like them

Psychologists have known for a while about a phenomenon called “reciprocity of liking”: When we think someone likes us, we tend to like them as well.

In one 1959 study published in Human Relations, for example, participants were told that certain members of a group discussion would probably like them. These group members were chosen randomly by the experimenter.

After the discussion, participants indicated that the people they liked best were the ones who supposedly liked them.

More recently, researchers at the University of Waterloo and the University of Manitoba found that when we expect people to accept us, we act warmer toward them — thereby increasing the chances that they really will like us. So even if you’re not sure how a person you’re interacting with feels about you, act like you like them and they’ll probably like you back.


Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part V Of VI


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  • Camel pose

Get a blanket or something soft and throw it on the ground. Kneel on top of it with your legs hips distance apart. If you can, curl your toes under to help stabilize your weight. You’re going to make the same shape with your upper body.  Start with your back completely straight then begin to arc your chest upward and curl your head back, keeping your lower abs engaged. You can use your hands on the backs of your hips to help support yourself and arch higher. Keep your core engaged so you’re putting too much pressure on your lower back. Breath slow, even breaths and come out of it the same way you went into it – curl up your head, last.

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Calming, relaxing poses are great for stress relief.  Slow deep breaths are best for balancing your brain hemispheres – so breathing exercises alone will work if you can’t do a yoga pose.

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  • Head on knee pose

Sit on the floor with both legs out straight, then bend the right foot in so your bottom of your foot touches the inside of your left thigh. Then face your left leg so your whole torso is centered over your left leg, stretch up with both arms, and fold over your extended leg. Just allow your back to stay as long as possible, so if you can’t touch your toes, work up to it. Start with hands by your shin or knee. If you need to, bend your knee a tiny bit. Focus on keeping both sides of your torso equally stretched over your leg. Slowly come up and switch sides. Eventually when you get enough flexibility, the goal would be to rest your nose or chin right above your knee, but only if you can keep your leg straight.

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  • Corpse pose

This is great for easing tension and calming the mind. It’s last on my list because you always do this pose last – it’s a nervous system shut down.

Sit in a seated position and roll yourself down onto your back, vertebrae by vertebrae, until your back is completely flat. Now allow your arms to splay out, your legs to relax out, completely even on both sides of your body. Make sure there’s no uneven pressure under your body and nothing touching your body. Close your eyes and let everything in your face relax. Relax your tongue, your mouth, and breathe normally. Relax your eye muscles, your forehead, your fingers. If you need to, drape something over your eyes so you can keep them closed. Stay here for five minutes.

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  • Restorative Corpse pose

This is the same thing before you lay down, place a pillow underneath your shoulders, head and neck, elevating everything from the base of your shoulder blades up so it’s about 4 inches off the ground. You can also place a rolled blanket under your knees.  To come out of it, roll to your right side and push yourself up to a seat.

Those are my picks for soothing these particular nego-patterns! I hope you try them and even try more than these. I will bet they work for you.

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In closing…

Our self-understanding is cultural – our understanding of limits is also cultural. We rarely question our own beliefs because we’ve grown so used to them. What I hope you will be inspired to do is question your beliefs about yourself and challenge the ways “you are and will always be.”  When we decide who we are – and decide it’s set it stone, it’s usually something we’ve taken on as a definition based on the ideas of others. So truly, our beliefs are always changeable. They can be challenged and new practices can be adopted – it comes down to looking at what is still serving you and what is no longer helpful, and making a change in your behavior. If you want to believe otherwise and you can’t force yourself to think outside of your ways, just begin by questioning yourself: really examine and challenge the truth behind those sticking points. You can be changed at any age and create a different life for yourself. Night and day can happen in a single day.

The past is the past. It created your life up to this moment. How you choose to look at today and the present moment: that changes your tomorrow and everything you live from this point forth. So, for your own happiness and well being, allow yourself a new choice, today.  Even the smallest change in your perspective will make a dramatic difference in the quality of the rest of your life: it alters the pattern. And with repetition, a daily practice – once you actually see proof of the change it has made in your life, then you build momentum.  It just takes seeing that first sign of change: feeling that balance, that happiness that comes from soothing and processing toxic emotions. Give it a try. I believe that, just like me, you’ll never go back! You’ll grow to trust the process and invest the more in more in the value of balancing your mind and body. It’s the best tool-set ever because there’s nothing to solve about it. It’s so simple and pure – and it makes you KNOW innately that you can and will be okay – you will take care of yourself- no matter what happens. You will be there to care for yourself.  I hope this was helpful and inspiring in some way… Smile lovely friends!!!


Lately: 16 Psychological Trick To Make People Like You Immediately  


It’s hard to say exactly why you like someone.

Maybe it’s their goofy smile; maybe it’s their razor-sharp wit; or maybe it’s simply that they’re easy to be around. You just like them.

But scientists generally aren’t satisfied with answers like that, and they’ve spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another.

Below, we’ve rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster.

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  1. Copy the person you’re with

This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another person’s behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.

In 1999, New York University researchers documented the “chameleon effect,” which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other’s behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.

Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners (who worked for the researchers) either mimicked the other participant’s behavior or didn’t, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.

Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.

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  1. Spend more time around the people you’re hoping to befriend

According to the mere-exposure effect, people tend to like other people who are familiar to them.

In one example of this phenomenon, psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh had four women pose as students in a university psychology class. Each woman showed up in class a different number of times. When experimenters showed male students pictures of the four women, the men demonstrated a greater affinity for those women they’d seen more often in class — even though they hadn’t interacted with any of them.

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  1. Compliment other people

People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. This phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.

One study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that this effect occurred even when people knew certain traits didn’t describe the people who had talked about them.

According to Gretchen Rubin, author of the book “The Happiness Project,” “whatever you say about other people influences how people see you.”

If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.

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  1. Try to display positive emotions

Emotional contagion describes what happens when people are strongly influenced by the moods of other people. According to a research paper from the Ohio University and the University of Hawaii, people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them.

The authors of the paper say that’s possibly because we naturally mimic others’ movements and facial expressions, which in turn makes us feel something similar to what they’re feeling.

If you want to make others feel happy when they’re around you, do your best to communicate positive emotions.

Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part IV Of VI


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If you’re chemically depressed you want to do poses that get more blood to your head, so back-bends and inversions are great poses to practice. (Inversions are poses where your heart is lower than your head.) Back bends give you an increased ability to handle stress – they relieve tension and soothe nervous exhaustion.  

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  • Mountain pose

This is basic but effective. You want to stand up tall with your feet hips distance apart, head pointed straight ahead, in bare feet. You can either have your arms alert at your sides with your palms facing outwards, or your arms stretched straight up with palms facing, or arms stretched straight up with your fingers locked, palms turned inside out.

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  • Downward dog

This one is my fave! It’s a go-to for pretty much any kind of negative emotion.  It slows the heart rate so it’s great for calming the brain and also coincidentally – great for relieving cramps. AND it gives you renewed energy because it’s getting blood to your brain.

To do downward dog, get into a tabletop position (hands and knees).  If you have tight hamstrings, you can put your fingertips at the base of a wall to help support yourself.  Place your hands a little wider than your shoulders, your feet hips distance, then slowly lift your knees off the ground and straighten your legs. If it’s too tight on your hamstrings, then keep your knees bent a bit. The goal is to press your chest toward the ground while keeping your shoulder blades sucked onto your back. Press into your hands and heels, and picture yourself pulling your hands toward one another.

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  • Bridge pose

This is a back-bend so it gives you extra chemical soothing support! Start on your back and bend your knees so your feet are directly below them. Keep your arms straight down your sides and then bend your forearms so your fingers are pointed straight upward.  You’ll be making robot arms – fingers together, elbows pushing down into the ground. Now slowly curl your tailbone off the ground and scoop your lower body off the ground – try to do this one vertebrae at a time. You want to keep your butt relaxed and your knees lightly pushing toward one another. Don’t push too hard or put too much stress on your spine, and make sure you are keeping your core engaged. So the only things touching the ground are your shoulders, head neck and elbows. Keep looking up and make sure you have length in your neck to breathe. Come down the same way: one vertebrae at a time.

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  • Restorative Bridge Pose

If that’s too hard for you or you’re super tired, you can also do a restorative bridge pose – basically make a long row of couch cushions under your body, all the way up to the base of your shoulder blades. You’re going to then lay across them so your body is elevated about a 6 inches to 1 foot off the ground, except your shoulders, head and neck. Put your arms, elbows bent, splayed out beside your upper torso.

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  • Restorative Inversion with Legs Up the Wall

This is another relaxing one where you lie flat on the ground and scoot your butt so it’s against the base of the wall, then straighten your legs up the wall so they are straight up and down. Keep them together and stretch your arms out to the sides with palms facing up. You can stay here for 3-5 minutes.



If you’re emotionally exhausted or sluggish, it’s helpful to do things to uplift your energy levels without stressing the body further.  Your nervous system is already taxed so your job is to elevate and restore. That’s why twisting poses are great: they move a lot of blood from your organs and get things flowing. They’re cleansing. Refreshing.

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  • Torso leg stretch (or Marichyasana)

Sit on the ground with both legs out straight in front of you and together.  First bend your right knee upright and twist your upper body towards it. Now extend your left arm straight and allow the upper part of your left arm to rest on the outside of your right knee.  Keep your back up straight and twist toward the right. You can use your right arm to brace yourself on the ground and keep your back straight. You can use light pressure against your bent knee to lightly twist deeper. Don’t forget to switch sides. 

*If that’s too deep a twist for you, just hold onto the bent knee and use your arms to help yourself twist.

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  • Reclining Twist (Or what I like to call, Twisted Action figure pose)

Lie flat on the ground, curl your knees into your chest and let them fall to the right, then look to the left. Let your arms extend out on both sides. Switch by flopping your legs to the other side and look the opposite direction.

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  • Plough pose

This is for more advanced yogis. It increases confidence, clarity, balance and energy. This is one of the harder poses so don’t attempt this unless you’re somewhat flexible. Also watch a YouTube how-to first.

Start by lying down flat, arms by your sides, then roll your legs up and over your head, touching your toes on the floor behind you, keeping your legs totally straight. It will look like an upside down sitting forward fold. Don’t look side to side – keep your neck and head straight. You can use your hands to brace yourself on your lower back, or keep them pressed to the ground. Come down one vertebrae at a time as slowly as possible.

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If you’re short-tempered, it’s helpful to practice heart openers. These help you regain emotional stability and also center you from turbulent emotions. If you’re prone to mood-swings, start a daily heart opener practice.

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  • Seated cross-legged position

Super basic but very helpful for increased balance, calm and grounding. This pose gets you back to an internal and meditative state. The Sanskrit word translates to ‘wellbeingness’. Sit on the ground with your legs crossed like you did in kindergarten. If it hurts your hips, sit up on a small cushion. Or even a short stack of big books. Rest your hands on your knees, keep your back straight and keep your head facing forward.

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  • Forward Folding Cross-legged position

This one is a hip-opener, so it’s great for anger and also good if you want to process and vent old anger. Same set-up: Sit cross-legged and now lift your arms straight up, keep your back straight and fold forward over your legs. Breathe slowly and deeply. Take 30 breaths then switch the cross of your legs.

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  • Downward-facing cross-legged pose (or what I like to call, the sleepy kindergartener)

Get a table or a small bench that’s the height of your breastbone and place a pillow on top of it. Sit cross-legged right in front of it – atop a pillow, if it’s more comfy. Fold your torso over the bench and lay your head on top of the pillow. It should look almost like you fell asleep while sitting at the breakfast table – but in this case, you are seated on the ground in a cross-legged position.  Extend your arms forward on the table and cross them right above the top of your head. Align your body frontally, like don’t shift your head to one side. Keep the back elongated, and if it’s not comfortable roll a small blanket and place it under your chest for more support. Breathe deeply here for 2 minutes.

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  • Simple chest opener

If you’re at work this is a great one. Stand in mountain pose, straight up and down, arms at your sides, palms out.  Now make a shape like you’re being beamed up by an alien ship from the center of your breastbone. Slowly begin to arch your chest upward toward the sky. Keep your lower abs engaged and take slow, deep and measured breaths. Allow your head to curl backwards but don’t relax your neck too much – you want to breathe fully.

Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part III Of VI


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Part 3: The TOOLS

TOOL 1. Nego Pattern Reflection 

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Start by examining where you could use some help. Why? Because it could be a key to altering something about your physical health that you didn’t think was changeable.

Grab your journal! This is best done with a pen and paper… You’re going to reflect on yourself and your negative habits. So ruminate on the below:

  • What are the negative coping habits that you currently have? For example, how do you manage stress? How do you deal with conflicts in your relationships? How do you avoid any hard work in your relationships? How do you take short cuts to manage things like pain?

Identify areas that you want to begin to soothe, or balance. So if it’s something like anger, anxiety, soothing tactics, resistance to accept – what is your go-to knee jerk reaction to something hurting you in life? This is not about intent – it’s about a habit, or well trained in route that you tend to take. So think of it like a form of autopilot that takes over.

Once you identify something – acknowledge to yourself, either aloud or internally that you are willing to release this habit of being.  You want to let go of the emotional go-to pattern that has created a condition in your body. Like, “I want to stop shutting off with unhealthy mechanisms.” Great! This is a great starting point to create some specific new soothing habits!

TOOL 2. Power of Intention – Personal Mantra

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This is just a simple “personal mantra” tool to use in the moment you’re experiencing a negative or toxic emotion that you don’t want to have in your body. I invite you to begin a practice of just speaking aloud the intention to let something go. Use it as a way to help yourself cease criticism in your life. Cease any emotional thoughts you have coming from fear and anger as they are what create toxins in your body. So use this tool as a way to help yourself begin to navigate out of them when you can feel an old habit taking over.

PERSONAL MANTRA: “I choose to let go of this anger.” (or fill in the blank emotion)

That act – in itself – has a lot of power to change the flow of your thoughts and how you identify your true self in the midst of emotional turmoil. Repeat the phrase to yourself as a casual meditation while breathing deeply.  Say it over and over, slowly and calmly, with deliberate focus. No matter what it is or how serious an emotion it is, sometimes this is the key to finding a way out of it. I use it sometimes when I’m mad and I know I don’t want to be – just repeating my own truth, despite the chemical state of anger.

TOOL 3. Yoga for Emotional Processing

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The next series of tools are for the specific toxic emotions including anxiety, depression, emotional lethargy, anger, and stress.

Yoga balances the mind and the body because the relationship between the two is reflexive. You don’t want your mind running away with you or creating physical ailments, so you can use the body as a way to calm the mind and keep yourself holistically balanced. With the various yoga poses, you are getting fresh blood flow to the various parts of your body and also remedying the unhealthy habits of everyday life – bad posture, cramps in the various muscles, toxins we take in. Think of it like you’re cleaning out your insides with breath, stretching, and calming chemicals. Returning to a place of peace and tranquility.

The yoga sutras were crafted somewhere between 300 BC and 300 AD and they are based on the principle that the mind and body are one being but are put in constant turmoil because of everyday life. Dealing with life stresses the body, bringing about things like depression, anxiety, rage, and restlessness. So yoga is to bring calm and balance by moving in specific ways: each pose ties to a unique benefit. We usually think of it as JUST meditation or JUST stretching but there’s a whole lot more at play depending on the part of your body you’re moving. You’re affecting the nerves, glands, tissues, and cells in the respiratory, excretory, hormonal, digestive, nervous, reproductive systems of the body.  By holding poses and curbing your mental chatter, you’re helping to create equilibrium between the intellect and the soul. It’s a practice that allows you to create discipline in your emotional self – so it helps you MANUALLY control emotional impulses. That’s why it’s so helpful for PTSD and those who suffer from addiction— you take power away from your brain, and manually soothe your emotions by creating mental detachment.

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Now for the caveats section:

  • Keep in mind that these poses are helpful for managing the effects of the problems at play by targeting specific parts of your body but they are not a substitute for modern medicine. Think of this as a daily maintenance practice to be done in addition to necessary things like taking your meds and going to the doctor.
  • If you are not COMFORTABLE in these poses then don’t do them. Sometimes it takes a while to work up enough flexibility – so take your time, keep practicing and don’t force it.
  • If the descriptions and pix don’t translate perfectly, please Google the poses so you can learn better how to do them.
  • Take all of my suggestions in based on what feels right and safe for you – I am not a doctor, I just read a lot and do a lot of yoga. And this works for me! For reals it does, I use these on a regular basis. So hopefully there’s something in here that will work for you, too.
  • All of these poses must be practiced with sincerity. In other words, commit to doing them for real and use the utmost patience – they can’t be hurried through.
  • If you’re super pregnant don’t do these. Also, don’t do these if you have super high blood pressure. In short, please don’t hurt yourself.


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Treat these as focused meditational practices for venting emotions. As you do a pose, first repeat your personal mantra – make it your “dedication” or “intention” for the mini-yoga practice. I suggest making one or two of these into a daily mini-meditative yoga processing sesh targeted at releasing one particular negative emotion.

During each pose, take slow, even breaths in and out of the nose. You don’t want to do any pose that causes you to hold your breath. That’s the opposite of yoga. So, back off a bit if you find it’s hard to breathe.

Try to hold each pose for at least 30 breaths and ideally 60 breaths. It’s best to do these barefoot and in comfortable clothing, but I do a lot of these at work so I think you could too if you are in need of immediate soothing.

For visuals, you can check out a gallery of the poses as demonstrated by me in my living room.

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If you suffer from anxiety, poses that circulate blood and also calm your heart are very helpful.  That’s why the poses I am recommending are folding poses – they squeeze your organs to your blood circulating through your body and relax the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight stress system.

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  • Standing Forward Fold

This pose soothes and calms the body and brain. It’s also good for depression. Stand straight with your feet hips-distance apart. (If you have problems balancing, stand with your back against a wall – completely flat.) Make sure your weight is even in your two feet.  Now fold forwards and let your torso completely relax, take slow, even deep breaths through your nose.

If you’re flexible, you can also hold onto your elbows. If this hurts a lot – then bend your knees slightly. If that hurts still, stack some books in front of you so that you can brace your weight on them while you fold.

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  • Sitting Forward Fold 

Because your heart is horizontal and not above you, the heart is relieved a lot of work pumping blood upwards, so blood circulates more easily. It’s great for calming. Sit on your butt and extend your feet straight out in front of you, keep your toes pointed upwards. Lift your arms up and keep your back as straight as possible, now fold forward over your legs and elongate your torso. If you can, touch your toes, otherwise rest your hands next to your knees or shins. If your hamstrings are tight, bend your knees a bit.

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  • Extreme Chest Stretch

Stand up very straight with upright posture. Put your hands together behind your shoulders like a reverse prayer position– or simply hold onto opposite elbows behind your back. It’s going to puff your chest out and feel like an intense stretch on your shoulders. You might want to ease into this one if it feels super awkward, just start with the holding opposite elbows.

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  • Restorative Inversion

If you are super stiff or just totally exhausted, then it’s always better to do a restorative yoga pose. Grab a towel or a blanket and roll it up into a sausage shape. Now, lie on your back on the ground – completely flat, and place that rolled towel just below your shoulder blades so it arches up your heart above the rest of your body. Ideally, it should be about 6 inches in width. Keep your arms splayed out to the sides of your body.