Allergies, What Are They, What Are The Causes, How to Live With Them, And Do They Ever Get Better Over Time??? 25 Myth’s Of Allergies.(I Of V)

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What is Allergy?

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Allergies are very common and increasing in Australia and New Zealand, affecting around 1 in 5 people at some time in their lives. There are many different causes of allergy and symptoms vary from mild to potentially life threatening. Allergy is also one of the major factors associated with the cause and persistence of asthma. Effective prevention and treatment options are available for most allergies.

Allergy – a definition

Allergy occurs when a person’s immune system reacts to substances in the environment that are harmless for most people. These substances are known as allergens and are found in dust mites, pets, pollen, insects, ticks, moulds, foods and some medicines.

Atopy is the genetic (inherited) tendency to develop allergic diseases. People with atopy are said to be atopic.

When atopic people are exposed to allergens they can develop an immune reaction that leads to allergic inflammation (redness and swelling).

This can then cause symptoms in the:

  • nose and/or eyes – hay fever (allergic rhinitis/conjunctivitis)
  • skin – eczema, hives (urticaria)
  • lungs – asthma

A substance that is an allergen for one person may not be for another – everyone reacts differently. The likelihood (or risk) of developing allergies is increased if other family members suffer from allergy or asthma.

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What happens when you have an allergic reaction?

When a person who is allergic to a particular allergen comes into contact with it, an allergic reaction occurs. This begins when the allergen (for example, pollen) enters the body, triggering an antibody response. The antibodies attach themselves to special cells, called mast cells. When the pollen comes into contact with the antibodies, the mast cells respond by releasing certain substances, one of which is called histamine. When the release of histamine is due to an allergen, the resulting swelling and inflammation is extremely irritating and uncomfortable.

The most common causes of allergic reactions in Australia are:

  • dust mites
  • pollen (grass, weed or tree)
  • foods such as peanuts, cow’s milk, soy, seafood and eggs
  • cats and other furry or hairy animals such as dogs, horses, rabbits and guinea pigs
  • insect stings and tick bites
  • moulds
  • medicines

Similar reactions can occur to some chemicals and food additives, however if they do not involve the immune system, they are known as “adverse reactions” rather than “allergy”.

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Which areas of the body may be affected?

Depending on the allergen and where it enters your body, you may experience different symptoms. For example, pollen, when breathed in through the nose, usually causes symptoms in the nose, eyes, sinuses and throat (allergic rhinitis). Allergy to foods usually causes stomach or bowel problems, and may cause hives (urticaria).  Allergic reactions can also involve several parts of the body at the same time.

The nose, eyes, sinuses and throat

When allergens are breathed in, the release of histamine causes the lining of your nose to produce lots of mucus and to become swollen and inflamed. It causes your nose to run and itch and violent sneezing may occur. Your eyes may also start to water and you may get a sore throat.

The lungs and chest

Asthma can sometimes be triggered during an allergic reaction. When an allergen is breathed in, the lining of the passages in the lungs swells and makes breathing difficult. Not all asthma is caused by allergy, but in many cases allergy plays a part.

The stomach and bowel

Most stomach upsets are caused by richness or spiciness in the food itself, rather than an actual allergy. However, foods which are most commonly associated with allergy include peanuts, seafood, dairy products and eggs. Cow’s milk allergy in infants may occur and can cause eczema, asthma, colic and stomach upset. It may also lead to failure to thrive. Some people cannot digest lactose (milk sugar). This intolerance to lactose also causes stomach upsets, but must not be confused with allergy.

The skin

Skin problems such as eczema (dry, red, itchy skin) and urticaria (also known as hives) often occur. Hives are white itchy bumps which look and feel like insect bites. Food may be a factor in some cases of hives and eczema. For more information:

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Life threatening allergic reactions require immediate treatment

Most allergic reactions are mild to moderate, and do not cause major problems, even though for many people they may be a source of extreme irritation and discomfort. However, a small number of people may experience a severe allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. It is a serious condition which requires immediate life saving medication. Some of the more frequent allergens which may cause this are peanuts, shellfish, insect stings and drugs.

If you know that you have a very severe allergy, you should have an Anaphylaxis Management Plan from your doctor, which should include an ASCIA action plan for anaphylaxis.  These are available here:

Effective prevention and treatment options are available

Allergen avoidance or minimization relies on identifying the cause of your allergy and then taking steps to reduce your exposure to the allergen. For instance, many people are allergic to dust mites, therefore reducing dust mite in the house is important.

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Everything you need to know about allergies

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Allergies are hypersensitive responses from the immune system to substances that either enter or come into contact with the body.

These substances commonly include materials such as pet dander, pollen, or bee venom. Anything can be an allergen if the immune system has an adverse reaction.

A substance that causes an allergic reaction is called an allergen. Allergens can be found in food, drinks, or the environment.

Many allergens are harmless and do not affect most people.

If a person is allergic to a substance, such as pollen, their immune system reacts to the substance as if it was foreign and harmful, and tries to destroy it.

Research indicates that 30 percent of adults and 40 percent of children in the United States have allergies.

Fast facts on allergies

  • Allergies are the result of an inappropriate immune response to a normally harmless substance.
  • Some of the most common allergens are dust, pollen, and nuts. They can cause sneezing, peeling skin, and vomiting.
  •  Anaphylaxis is a serious allergic reaction that can be life-threatening.
  • To diagnose an allergy, a clinician may take a blood sample.
  • The symptoms of an allergy can be treated with drugs. However, the allergy itself requires desensitization.
  • Anaphylaxis requires emergency treatment. Epinephrine injectors can help reduce the severity of an anaphylactic reaction.


What is an allergy?

Man blows nose outsideAllergies occur when the immune system overreacts to ordinarily harmless substances.

Allergies are a very common overreaction of the immune system to usually harmless substances.

When a person with an allergy comes into contact with an allergen, the allergic reaction is not immediate. The immune system gradually builds up sensitivity to the substance before overreacting.

The immune system needs time to recognize and remember the allergen. As it becomes sensitive to the substance, the immune system starts making antibodies to attack it. This process is called sensitization.

Sensitization can take a few days or several years. In many cases, the sensitization process is not completed. The patient experiences some symptoms but not a full allergy.

Allergies may also be seasonal. For example, hay fever symptoms can peak between April and May, as the pollen count in the air is much higher.

A study published in JAMA Pediatrics reported that food allergies in children cost the U.S. economy nearly $25 billion annually.

The number of people worldwide with allergies is increasing.


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An allergic reaction causes inflammation and irritation. The signs and symptoms depend on the type of allergen. Allergic reactions may occur in the gut, skin, sinuses, airways, eyes, and nasal passages.

Allergic reactions may be confused for other conditions. Hay fever, for example, creates similar irritations to the common cold but the causes are different.

Below is a range of various triggers and the symptoms they regularly cause in people who are allergic.

Dust and pollen

  • blocked nose
  • itchy eyes and nose
  • runny nose
  • swollen and watery eyes
  • cough

Skin reactions

  • flaking
  • itching
  • peeling
  • rashes


  • vomiting
  • swollen tongue
  • tingling in the mouth
  • swelling of the lips, face, and throat
  • stomach cramps
  • shortness of breath
  • rectal bleeding, mainly in children
  • itchiness in the mouth
  • diarrhea

Insect stings

  • wheezing
  • swelling at the site of the sting
  • a sudden drop in blood pressure
  • itchy skin
  • shortness of breath
  • restlessness
  • hives, a red and very itchy rash that spreads across the body
  • dizziness
  • cough
  • chest tightness
  • anxiety
  • possible anaphylaxis


  • wheezing
  • swollen tongue, lips, and face
  • skin rash
  • itchiness
  • possible anaphylaxis


Anaphylaxis is a quickly escalating, serious allergic reaction that sets in rapidly. It can be life-threatening and must be treated as a medical emergency.

This type of allergic reaction presents several different symptoms that can appear minutes or hours after exposure to the allergen. If the exposure is intravenous, onset is usually between 5 to 30 minutes. A food allergen will take longer to trigger anaphylactic reaction.

Researchers reported in The Journal of Allergy & Clinical Immunology that the most commonly affected areas in anaphylaxis are the skin and respiratory system.

Symptoms of anaphylaxis include:

  • hives all over the body, flushing, and itchiness
  • swollen tissues
  • a burning sensation
  • swelling of the tongue and throat.
  • a possible blue tint to the skin from lack of oxygen
  • a runny nose
  • shortness of breath and wheezing
  • hoarseness
  • pain when swallowing
  • cough
  • a drop in blood pressure that can speed up or slow down the heart rate
  • abdominal cramps
  • diarrhea
  • vomiting
  • loss of bladder control
  • pelvic pain similar to uterine cramps
  • coronary artery spasm
  • low blood pressure leading to high or low heart rate
  • dizziness and fainting

Recognizing these symptoms can be crucial to receiving timely treatment.


Causes Of Allergies


A particular antibody called immunoglobin (IgE) causes allergic reactions. Antibodies are released to combat foreign and potentially harmful substances in the body.

IgE is released to destroy the allergen and causes the production of chemicals that trigger the allergic reaction.

One of these chemicals is called histamine. Histamine causes tightening of the muscles in the airways and the walls of blood vessels. It also instructs the lining of the nose to produce more mucus.

Risk factors

The following can be risk factors for developing allergies:

The most common allergens

Dog and cat friendsAnimal dander is a very common allergen.

Potential allergens can appear almost anywhere.

Any food can theoretically cause an allergy. Specific components of food can also trigger allergic reactions, such as gluten, the protein found in wheat. The eight foods most likely to cause allergies are:

  • eggs, especially egg-white
  • fish
  • milk
  • nuts from trees
  • peanuts
  • wheat
  • soy
  • shellfish

Other allergens include:

  • animal materials, such as dust mite excrement, wool, fur, dander, or skin flakes, as well as Fel d 1, a protein found in cat saliva
  • medications, such as penicillin, salicylates, and sulfonamides
  • foods such as corn, celery, pumpkin, sesame, and beans
  • insect stings, including wasp and bee sting venom, mosquito stings, and fire ants.
  • insect bites from horseflies, blackflies, fleas, and kissing bugs
  • cockroaches, caddis and lake flies, midges, and moths
  • plant pollens from grass, trees, and weeds
  • household chemicals
  • metals, such as nickel, cobalt, chromium, and zinc
  • latex

Continue To Part II Of V


I Need Glasses, A Guide To Buying The Perfect Pair Of Glasses, Part I Of III

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The years clicked slowly by, before my thirty-fifth birthday, and as I walked into my late forties, I don’t even notice how my hair is quickly losing black and nightly turning gray.  While pulling on gray strands and sitting in a restaurant trying to read the menu, the need for glasses slowly creepin in.  I went through all the stages, First, the squinting stage, looking at everything through the smallest squinting of my eyes, pulling the papers back and forth, trying to focus, telling myself, “It’ll pass.”  Next,The buying glasses stage, I buy glasses, but only wearing them when I need to read something, then put then in any available pocket, this only bents  the glasses and puts them out of focus. Lastly, I gave in to the amazing world of a full-time glasses wearing, and the daily chore of,  pushing the glasses up and they slide down my face, looking over your glasses, and constant  wiping lenses.  I learning that the more glasses I bought the better and better my glasses became,  learning more and more about, brands, of frames, to types of lenses, I also  learned a lot about wearing glasses, so I thought I would pass some of that knowledge on to you.

9 Tips On How To Buy Prescription Glasses | How To Buy Glasses And Not Get Ripped Off | Buying The Perfect Pair Of Eye-Glasses Online

9-Tips-On-How-To-Buy-Prescription-Glasses-tallSeventy Five Percent of us need glasses!

That’s right, three out of four of us require vision correction to some degree.

It makes sense.

Especially when you factor in that many people are born with poor vision, the affects of age and loss of focus flexibility, and the rise of time spent staring at screens!

20/20 vision ensures we can spot stop signs, read that sign on the other side of the street, and recognize our friends from across the room.

There is a problem though.

How do you buy the right pair of prescription glasses for your needs?

Common issues people face are glasses are:

  1. Expense – Prescription glasses can cost hundreds of dollars
  2. Time – Finding the perfect pair at a fair price can take a lot of time, especially if you shop around for a particular style at a great price.
  3. Confusion – What’s the right style for your face shape and profession? Do you need the add-ons and do you need multiple pairs?

My goal is to help clear up the process of buying prescription eye-glasses.

In my video and this article we give you 9 tips to help you make a smart purchasing decision when you buy eyeglasses online or offline.

Below are 9 tips on how to buy prescription glasses effectively.


eye test1. Have An Up-To-Date Eyewear Prescription

The standard validity of a prescription is 2 years for adults and 1 year if you are younger. If your prescription is outdated, visit your local optical shop to get a new one.

When you get your eyesight examined, the optometrist must give you a copy of the prescription whether or not you ask for it.

Here are some abbreviations and terms listed on your prescription you’ll need to be aware of when ordering glasses online:

  • OD (Oculus Dexter) refers to your right eye.
  • OS (Oculus Sinister) refers to your left eye.
  • Sphere (SPH) indicates the amount of lens power, prescribed to correct nearsightedness (-) or farsightedness(+).
  • ADD (for bifocals) is the added magnifying power applied to the bottom part of multifocal lenses to correct presbyopia.
  • Cylinder (CYL) indicates the amount of lens power for astigmatism.
  • Axis describes the positioning of the cylindrical power on your lenses (required for astigmatism).

Note: you will not be able to use a contact lens prescription – the two are different.

Pupillary Distance2. Measure Your Pupillary Distance

Pupillary Distance (PD) is the distance between your pupils – usually measured in millimeters.

The optical center of the lenses gives you the truest vision. This part of the eyeglasses should be directly in front of your pupils.

To get the correct positioning of the lenses on your eyeglasses, the eyeglasses lab needs your PD.

Pupillary distance generally falls between 54 and 68 mm.

It can be tricky to measure your own PD. It is best to have it measured by a skilled optician.

Optometrists will note this measurement during your eye examination but may omit the PD from your prescription because it gives consumers the ability to shop online. Ask them to write this number in your prescription, if they haven’t already.

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3) SELECT The Right Frames

The secret to ordering perfectly fitting prescription glasses online is simple – know your frame size. There are three factors that affect your selection of frames for your eyeglasses.

a. Choose Eyeglasses That Complement Your Face Shape

The right eyeglass frames offer a benefit beyond clearer vision – the ability to complement your facial features and overall look. Create a balanced appearance using eyeglasses by choosing a frame shape that provides a contrast to the shape of your face.

The human face can be categorized to fit into several generic face shapes.

  • Heart/Diamond – characterized by strong broad cheekbones, a larger forehead and a narrow chin. Find a pair of glasses with similar angles. Rounder shaped frames with a wider top than bottom should create a nice contrast.
  • Round – characterized by a rounded forehead and a circular face. Select frames that are wider than they are tall. Rectangular frames add structure, elongating your face.
  • Square – if you have a square face and jaw, you need to soften the face’s natural angularity. Softer, rounder frames balance the stark angles of your face.
  • Oval – The enviable oval shape can rock almost any style of eyeglasses. Your best bet is a pair of symmetrical glasses, with a rigid structure but also softness with a round bottom.

For a full break-down of face shapes and corresponding frame shapes, refer to the following infographic:

CHART face shape and glasses filled


b. Pick A Frame That Fits Your Personal Style

What are your personal and professional needs?

  • For serious business – Stick to conservative frame colors and shapes. To enhance your professional image, consider classic shapes such as ovals, rectangles and almonds. Black, gunmetal, silver and brown frames are recommended because these conservative tones match with business suits.
  • eyeglasses to suit personal styleFor creative professionals – Wear modern shapes, such as geometric designs in thick plastic or metallic frames. Try unusual colors – blue, purple and green. Retro, vintage styles and aviator shapes are also suitable to highlight your creative edge.
  • For students – Sport eye-catching shapes and colors. Unusual shapes, bright colors, larger sizes and interesting details such as color laminations. Feel free to experiment with a a geeky, retro look or a modern frame with lots of color.
  • For the busy parent – Don’t worry about the latest trends in eyewear, stick to a basic yet stylish pair of glasses. Ovals, upswept rectangles and soft cat-eye shapes are very functional and still look great. Darker colors like deep red, black and green can also add a stylish edge to a basic frame.


c. Buy The Right Size

Fashion is secondary. Proper positioning of the glasses in front of your eyes should be your primary concern.

If you already own a pair of glasses that fit you well, check the measurements written on the inside arm of the frame. In some cases, the numbers will be printed on or just behind the nose bridge. The numbers represent the following measurements:

  • Eye size – the horizontal width of the lens, a two-digit number in the 40 – 62mm range.
  • Bridge size – the horizontal distance between the two lenses, a two-digit number in the 14 – 24mm range.
  • Temple size – the length of the arm piece, a three-digit number in the 120 – 165mm range.

What is a suitable frame size for you? The width of your face is the key to finding an appropriate sized frame.



Note: Sunglasses are generally larger to give you more protection from the sun – so don’t go by those measurements.

It is important to match the size and shape of your eyeglasses to the proportions of your face. The resulting overall look should be balanced. Smaller frames suit a person with a less pronounced facial structure. You need a large and wide facial shape to pull of eyeglasses with big frames.


Right Frame Size4) BUY The Right Frames

There are two options to purchase eyeglass frames – in person at your local optical store, or through an online store.

Advantages of buying offline:

  • Professional help – An experienced optician has the knowledge to tell you if the frame you select is suitable for your prescription or if it fits your nose correctly.
  • Complicated prescriptions – If you have a high power, complicated prescription, it is difficult to use an online store. An experienced optician is required to help you acquire the right eyeglasses. Online stores limit the rx range they will process.
  • Support local – If you would like to support your local stores, make sure you’re not getting ripped off by comparing the price of the same pair of glasses online.

Advantages of buying online:

  • Lower cost – In many cases, you save up to 70% off retail prices. Online brands design and manufacture all of their frames before customizing them to your prescription at their in-house prescription labs. The removal of the middle-man equates to big savings on the total cost of the frames.
  • More selection – Online stores usually have a wider range of glasses. Lenses offered are same high quality as those available in retail outlets. The glasses are made by professional opticians at in-house state of the art laboratories.
  • Upload face – Some online stores allow you to upload your photo on their website to see what the glasses would look like on your face. All you have to do is line up your pupils and take the picture with your phone or webcam.
  • Convenience and speed – you don’t have to waste effort and time driving to the store to pick up your eyeglasses. Order from the privacy of your home in your pajamas – your glasses will be delivered to your doorstep.


Anti-Reflective Eyeglasses5. Avoid Add-Ons To Keep The Cost Of Glasses Down

Anti-reflective coating, anti-scratch, poly-carbonate lens, etc., are all add-ons that crank up the price of a pair of eyeglasses.

Don’t get sucked in with the extremely low advertised prices.

Figure out exactly what you need and then compare the price with 3 or 4 different online retailers for that exact same model.

Some stores include the add-ons and others don’t. Go with the final price – not the advertised price of the glasses that gets you in.

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6) Refund & Return Policy

Always check the refund and return policy of a company before making a purchase. If you find the glasses aren’t right for you – you should be able to exchange them for the right style or size without hassle.

When buying online, there’s no salesperson to give you immediate feedback – the decision is entirely yours to make.

In my opinion two weeks is enough time to get used to a new pair of glasses. It is also sufficient to know if you need to exchange them for a more suitable pair.

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7) It’s Worth Paying Extra For Frames You LOVE

$100 for eyeglasses that looks average vs. $200 for a pair you love?

Prescription eyeglasses are an accessory you wear every day. It is worth paying full price for a quality pair – especially once you divide the total price by the number of days you will wear them. They end up costing pennies or less in terms of price per wear.

You are likely to wear your glasses every hour you are awake, so spend a little extra to purchase an attractive pair over glasses that are cheaper but not as appealing.


Eyeglasses GlassesUSA.com8) Consider Purchasing More Than One Pair Of Glasses

When you purchase eyeglasses from a traditional retailer, the cost includes a premium to the store and hefty outsourcing costs.

When you factor in manufacturing costs, distributor’s costs, warehouse costs, retail rent, third-party fees and other overheads – it is easy to see why eyeglasses are so expensive.

Online stores cut the middlemen out of the equation, making it simple for you to choose high quality glasses for an affordable price.

Purchasing online gives you more freedom to buy several pairs of eyeglasses for the price of one pair at a retail store.

Having the flexibility to change your eyeglasses is a lifesaver in times of emergency (eyeglasses crack easily… I learnt that lesson early in life).

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9) Use Protective Case & A Microfiber Cloth

Eyeglasses are easily damaged.

  • It is important to store them in a sturdy, hard case.
  • Cleaning your frames and lenses regularly helps you see clearly and keeps your glasses looking new.
  • To clean them, use a soft microfiber cloth.
  • Use both hands to take them off (helps maintain their original shape) and never place the glasses lens down as this can result in scratched lenses.
  • Regularly check the screws that hold the frame together. If you find one is loose, tighten it gently with a small screwdriver or take your glasses into your local optical store.

Continue in Part II Of III


What Does A Man See When He Looks At An Attractive Women: Sometimes It An’t Just “Cat Calls” III Of III


In the end, everyone ages, and a deep connection and a mutual understanding of each other will be the glue that holds a relationship together for the long haul

Being Beautiful or Handsome Is Easier Than You Think!

How to be attractive and improve your appearance.

Posted Nov 02, 2011

Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor(link is external)

When I was young, I often obsessed about what I looked like. Perhaps this happens to everyone, more-or-less. It is common to be a bit dissatisfied with parts of our body, our appearance, and our level of attractiveness. This dissatisfaction and concern especially comes out when we think about dating and becoming passionate with a partner.

As I studied attraction further, however, I came to understand that physical appearance was not the only aspect of ourselves that was attractive. Our personalities can influence how others see us (for more, see here). In addition, our confidence and social skills can spark attraction, passion, and intrigue in potential lovers (see here, here, here, and here).

Eventually, I also discovered that those “unchangeable” parts of our looks were not driving attraction anyway! Contrary to popular belief, a symmetrical nose, the perfectly proportionate figure, or a classic face are not nearly as important as the apects of yourself that are easy to change. The little things under your control are the most attractive characteristics of all. Read on for the research…

Research on Physical Appearance and Attractiveness

Mehrabian and Blum (1997) began their research with a simple idea – they wondered what physical features were most attractive to the opposite sex. More particularly, they wanted to discover the relative importance of stable features (e.g. body type and height) versus changeable features (e.g. grooming and clothing) in physical attractiveness. In essence, they wondered what combinations really made someone “attractive”.

To answer that question, they presented 117 male and female university students with pictures of 76 partners of the opposite sex, varying in different physical features. They had the students rate the attractiveness of the people pictured and also measured their emotional responses. Then, through statistical analysis, the researchers figured out who was attractive – and why.

Their shocking finding was that, by far, the most attractive features fell under the category of “self care”. These features were changeable aspects like good grooming, neat hair, nice fitting and quality clothing, good posture, and healthy weight. Essentially, the most attractive features about a person (male or female) is that they put forth some effort to shower, groom, select some nice cloths, stand up straight, and manage their diet a bit. No plastic surgery, major gym time, or extensive overhauling required.

Coming in at only one-third as important as “self care” were three other feature clusters – “masculinity”, “femininity”, and “pleasantness”.

  • Masculinity, somewhat attractive to women, was comprised of some of the stable features (depending on your gym time) of muscularity, shoulder width, larger chest, and a bigger jaw.
  • Femininity, somewhat attractive to men, contained more changeable features of wearing makeup, longer hair, and greater femininity (in posture, body language, etc.).
  • Finally, pleasantness, somewhat attractive to both men and women, was all about being happy, positive, and friendly in attitude.

Overall, the VAST majority of features important to attractiveness are relatively easy to change. Just grooming, standing up straight, getting a decent wardrobe, and staying relatively healthy makes you attractive! Beyond that, being positive, pleasant, and friendly makes you truly alluring. Finally, if guys want to spend a bit of time in the gym, or women want to grow their hair and put on some makeup, then they can have the whole package. Again, no implants, botox, nose jobs, or facelifts required…

What This Means for Your Love Life

Being attractive is easier than you think. Just keep up with as many of these changeable features as you can.

1) Grooming – by far, the most important feature. Take some time to care for yourself. Shower, style your hair, and shave or trim where you need to. Be clean, neat, and smell good too. Grooming alone can make (or break) your attractiveness – and all it takes is a bit of time, effort, and a toothbrush!

2) Clothing – also important and a relatively easy fix is your style. The research says that three aspects of clothing are required to be attractive – neat, well fitting, and more formal. Put plainly, your clothes need to be clean, pressed, and well maintained. They also need to fit you well and flatter your shape. Finally, they should be a little classy. Don’t be chronically “under-dressed”…buy some dressier gear. Also, the color red is a good choice (see here).

3) Posture – practice standing up straight. Hold your head up. Put your shoulders back. Buy some sensible shoes, a good desk chair, or a corset if you need to. Good posture is sexy. It also contributes to the right body language for dating and relating (see here).

4) Attitude – remember to put on a happy face. Smile. Be pleasant, positive, and friendly. Heck, a good personality can even overshadow other physical issues you may have (see here). So, be happy…and get a date or keep a lover.

5) Fitness – granted, this isn’t as easily “changeable” as the others (at least for me). But, the research is not talking about the “perfect butt” or “washboard abs” anyway. Essentially, we’re shooting for “relatively healthy” (e.g. not super obese, no severely protruding stomach, etc.). So, no need to obsess and go overboard. But, do your best to eat well, move around a bit, and care for your health. Good grooming, the right clothes, and standing up straight can go a long way towards minimizing what diet and exercise don’t too!

6) Gender – generally, try to look masculine or feminine (depending on who you want to attract). To be more masculine, muscle up your shoulders and chest (or wear a nice, padded, sport coat). Grow a goatee, chin-strap, or beard to hide a weak jaw. To be more feminine, learn to properly apply makeup – accentuating your eyes and lips. Also, grow your hair longer (or just get extensions).


Who knew the Jersey Shore folks had the secret to attraction with G.T.L. (gym, tanning, and laundry). Although they can’t seem to manage relationships (see here), they do have a point about taking care of yourself. You don’t need a washboard abs “situation”, or double D implants though…just a little time, care, and effort.

Groom well, buy some clothes that fit, stand up straight, smile, and be healthy. That’s all it takes to be attractive, sexy, and get a date or mate. You can take the plastic surgeon off your speed dial now, stop obsessing…and go have some fun 🙂

10 Women Reveal the Ways Their Men Make Them Feel Beautiful

Women share all the wonderful ways their significant others boost their body confidence.

By: Maressa Brown

We all have days when we’re feeling less than stellar about our physical appearance. And on those days, there’s really no amount of makeup or perfectly fitting pair of jeans that’s going to do the trick. What doesn’t hurt, of course, is some TLC from your partner. Here, 10 women reveal what their guys do to boost their body confidence and make them feel more beautiful.

1. “My husband always takes time to compliment me, whether about how I did my hair, how much he likes something I am wearing, or other little things. I always used to wear tons of makeup, but his compliments about how beautiful I am without makeup have made me feel confident enough to now only wear it on special occasions!”

2. “What gets me every time is when my boyfriend will see me just hanging around the house and out of nowhere say, ‘Wow’ about how I look.”

3. “When I come home from a busy day at medical school, and he sees me in a lab coat or scrubs, he tells me he loves me, because it’s very much me doing me! He even liked my lab goggles back in undergrad!”

4. “He has asked me if I’m wearing makeup, and when I say ‘no,’ he says he likes me better that way. I will still wear makeup, because I like to — for myself. But it’s sweet and makes me feel good to know he prefers me all natural.”

5. “He tells me I look great, even when I’m just wearing casual clothes.”

6. “When I’m looking in the car mirror, he says, ‘What are you doing? You don’t have to do that. You’re beautiful.’”


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7. “My boyfriend adores the body parts I’ve always been self-conscious of: my ears and big feet! He always tells me to put my hair in a ponytail and lovingly refers to my feet as ‘step-sister’ feet. I get a kick out of this. It’s so much more creative than liking the rest of me!”

More from P&G everyday: 6 Instant Body-Confidence Boosters

8. “Whether I’m feeling insecure about weight gain, a breakout, or gray hair, my husband will remind me that we’re growing, living, constantly evolving human beings. Therefore, we can’t be expected to stay the same! Reminds me that he loves me at any size and age, and that it’s beautiful to be human!

9. “When I look over at him, and he’s just smiling at me, then tells me I’m beautiful. I can see in his eyes he means it.”

10. “He grabs me and kisses me and hugs me every timehe sees me. It makes me feel irresistible to him.”

What does your partner do to make you feel beautiful?

Maressa Brown is a senior staff writer for The Stir. She loves writing about and reading up on health/fitness, relationships, and pop culture — preferably on a beach somewhere.

In conclusion

Meeting and finding a person to date, be with in a relationship, or eventually marry, initially began’s with a attraction. After reading this blog I hope you understand some of the rules of attraction and I also hope it helps you to find Mr. Or Ms. right!!!

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In Pursue Of The Perfect Partner Part III of III

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Gabby Ended with, “The whole goal should not be to solve every problem. It should be to work with each other in order to improve the relationship to the extent that you are left with a set of unsolvable problems that both your partner and you can learn to tolerate, and even cherish.”

She Continued: “You shouldn’t need to feel the need to change somebody or yourself in order to love them. Nor should you let some disagreements get in the way of a healthy, and otherwise happy relationship.”

“Ok, Ok, Ok,” Veronica Yelled “I get it, there is no perfect person, and there is no, Ideal person, then what am I left with? Gabby relieved her with: “Find an adequate partner with all the flaws, faults, and imperfection of life; Let me explain”…”    

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Perfect Lives in Imperfections

In every person/relationship, you will notice imperfections. There will be cracks. It’s just a matter of time before you wish your partner did something differently, acted a different way, was more patient, driven, understanding, or thoughtful. And if you only focus on what’s lacking, that lack will grow, and it will become the sun, and you will start looking in another direction. You will get curious about what else is out there.

Many stray and ruin something that could have been beautiful because they don’t accept people for who they are. And if they don’t change that mindset, it becomes a pattern, and then they will never experience lasting love—only short-lived honeymoons. They can get addicted to the fleeting potent shot (which isn’t love), instead of the life-changing stretch. This is why we must find “perfect” in our partners, instead of seeking perfect.

So how do you find perfect in your partner? Well, let’s examine the things that are not perfect. Imperfections: This is the gateway in.

She’s always late. He leaves the seat up constantly. She forgets her keys. He’s not as affectionate as you would like. His crooked nose. Her posture. The way he chews. His nagging. Her parents. The list goes on and on for what you might wish were different about someone.

Fine-tuning your relationship engine means to accept someone’s imperfections. It doesn’t mean you can’t express what bothers you, assuming you’re not referring to their physical appearance or things they cannot control. It means you accept them as they are. Not as they could be. It means you understand their story. It means you see them as a whole, complete person. Not someone you can mold into your idea of what they should be.

Here’s how:

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  1. Accept everything.

Everything. How they behave. How they dress. Eat. Work out. What they say. How they see the world. (Remember, this is assuming that what you don’t like about them are not deal breakers). Know that you can’t modify your order. Whatever is on the plate is on the plate. Take it with a smile or return it. You can’t taste it, then ask them to modify it or cook it differently. People are not meals.

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2. Stop comparing who you’re with to your exes.

This is a common pattern for all of us, whether conscious or subconscious, unless we make an effort to stop. There is no winner in this game. It’s a trap. There’s a reason your exes didn’t work out, so why do you want who you’re with now to be like them, look like them, or act like them? This thought pattern will prevent you from seeing all the beauty in the person standing in front of you. You’ll also be living in the past. You have to see every new relationship as a new, single-serving experience. And that’s the key word—experience. Don’t you want a new one? If he or she is like your exes, it won’t be a new one. And if you tie what you have now to others, it won’t have a chance.

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3A. Instead of trying to change your partner, see if you can change yourself.

Ask yourself if there’s something happening on a deeper level. Are you comparing because you’re afraid of commitment, abandonment, or rejection? If you follow the thread down, you’ll see that it’s usually not about what you think it’s about.

They are already aware of what you don’t like about them. You have expressed it—if not verbally, then in energy and attitude. So instead of putting all your energy into trying to change someone, put all that energy into being a better version of yourself. Ask yourself what you need to change about you — your thinking, how you see the world and relationships, what kind of experience you want — so that you can accept them for who they are.

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3B. Remind yourself of all the relationships that didn’t work and why.

Playback documentaries instead of highlight reels. Remind yourself that tracing old relationship blueprints will only kill your current one.

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4. This is the most important step, because everything we’ve talked about is only 50 percent of change/growth…

The other half of the growth coin is execution. Okay, so you’ve decided to seek the perfect in your partner instead of the perfect partner. Great. Now ask yourself what that would look like in everyday action: How do you need to think? What fears must you conquer? What new way must you see your partner? What do you need to change about yourself to see him or her in that way?


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Gabby responded to Veronica’s resolve with: Now that you have “giving in” and said: “If There is no perfect or ideal person, then what should I be looking for?” Gabby continued: Now your ready to find someone and have a open consciousness, Read This…

Racheal Irene Nalubega said: Find me a woman who does not want to be treated like royalty by her man and you will make history as the first to do so. Every girl wants her knight in shining armor to be perfect but as anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows, relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. And it’s the tough times that bring people closer together and make the relationship stronger than ever.

Then Gabby said to Verronica “It is not bad to aim for high standards but if that standard is perfection, you are bound to regret and hurt yourself. According to statistics, the greatest destroyer of relationships is not money, children or infidelity but over expectation,

All those are critical relationship challenges but actually the most dangerous culprit is the least expected,”… when you expect 95 percent of a score, you will be disappointed at 90 percent even if it is the same range of score, and a good score at that.

If one expected 60 per cent he would be grateful at 75 per cent, which means anyone who expects perfection sets themselves up for frustration because they have set a yardstick humanly impossible to attain.

One person once said, “If you want a partner who is an angel, you will have to first create for them heaven on earth since angels live in heaven.”

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Important facets

Ali Male a counselling psychologist says it is recommended to look out for character when looking for someone you want to live the rest of your life with because someone’s character defines them and once you love it then you can accept that person fully. Things that should not be overlooked include tenderness, empathy, kindness, patience, self-control, gentleness, conflict resolution skills, good communication skills, good listening capability, humble attitude, hard-work, selflessness, giving, generosity, peace-loving, God fearing and respectful.

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Seeking The Perfect Partner

Insecure person you will never be perfect enough because as you correct one error, they will point out another since they are insatiable. The person who seeks perfection is the person who needs more help than the person they are trying to change.

Yet to a secure person, your imperfections move them to compassion to help you. Be yourself. Be the best you can be. Forgive yourself of your past mistakes – everyone has them. Strive for excellence but know that you will never hit the mark called ‘perfection’ on earth. Also know that there is nothing that man has made including money, luxury or any other thing that is flawless. (By Racheal Irene Nalubega)

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In The End Veronica, Concluded and said: “I’ve been in many long-term relationships, including a marriage. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve compared. I’ve looked over the fence. I’ve loved soft. I’ve been selfish. I’ve searched for “perfect.” I’ve tried to change people, and control people. I’ve lost. I’ve learned. I’ve grown. I’ve gone to therapy—even became a therapist. And even through all that, I am still learning. I still struggle. I still get confused. I am still afraid. I still don’t know all the secrets to love and dating and relationships. But there is one thing I’ve: Learned, Realized, Know,  for sure: No one’s perfect.”   

What Does A Man See When He Looks At An Attractive Women: Sometimes It An’t Just “Cat Calls” II Of III

3. Let your hair down.

If you have ever suspected that men prefer women with longer hair, you were totally onto something.


The way a woman wears her hair does influence how the opposite sex sees her, according to a 2004 study in the journal Human Nature. This survey found that women with longer hair were rated by male participants as appearing healthier and more attractive.

Admittedly, hairstyle seems to have a very small influence on the attractiveness of women. In fact, if a woman was already viewed as attractive, her hair length didn’t really influence how men viewed her in a study by the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology.


It was women who were rated as plain who were deemed more attractive when shown with long hair.

4. Throw on some red lipstick.

Women have long painted their lips red or added blush to their cheeks to make themselves more attractive to men, but it wasn’t until 2008 that we got an understanding of why men seem to prefer the color red.


As it turns out, showing a preference for the color red is a behavior exhibited in all species of males, including homo sapiens.

This attraction to the color red appears to be linked to the female cycle, according to the journal Personality and Social Psychology. Researchers observed that female monkeys actually reddened while ovulating and their mates responded to that change.


Additionally, the same attraction was observed when men were presented with pictures of women wearing red lipstick or a red shirt.

5. The Way You Smell

As bizarre as this may sound, men may be attracted to you because of the way you smell. Even though a lot of people know that pheromones are a hormone with a very specific scent, the science behind the attraction isn’t common knowledge.


Research has found that a woman’s cycle directly influences the pheromones she emits. Depending on where you are in your cycle, men may find you more attractive simply because of the smell of the pheromones you are giving off.

6. Bright and Healthy Eyes

When you ask any man what he finds attractive about a woman, it is almost expected for him to comment on her eyes.


There is a real reason we place so much emphasis on the eyes people we’re attracted to, and it isn’t because the eyes are the window to the soul.

Men are more attracted to women with clear, bright eyes, according to The Harvard Brain. It isn’t necessarily about color, either. It is the overall brightness of the entire eye that matters. This is believed to be all about evolution, since bright eyes are viewed as healthier, whereas dull or dry eyes are associated with aging.

7. Those Luscious Lips

As silly as it may sound, all those teenagers posting duckface selfies on social media might be onto something, since fuller lips are seen as an attractive trait on women.


We already know the color of a woman’s lip matters, but that isn’t the only thing that men are looking for in the mouths of a potential love interest.

One Manchester University study found that after meeting a new woman, men spend about half of the interaction looking at their lips. And when it came to the attractiveness of the women they met, men rated women with fuller lips as more attractive.


The science behind this attraction follows the theme we have been seeing so far—men are attracted to the appearance of health, and full lips are viewed as a physical characteristic of a healthy woman.

8. You sound good to me.

It isn’t all about the way you look. A man’s ears also play a role in determining just how attracted he is to a woman. Just like with males, females’ voices change as they age.


As their estrogen levels decrease, their tone lowers and deepens. Men are more attracted to women with a higher tone to their voice, according to Smithsonian Magazine. This preference is all about youth, because younger women tend to have higher-pitched voices, and the perception is that a younger woman is healthier (and likely more fertile).

Of course, don’t be too quick to assume the importance of each of the physical characteristics and the role they play in a romantic relationship. The way you look, smell, and sound is just one piece of the puzzle.

Continue To III Of III

In Pursue Of The Perfect Partner Part II of III

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Veronica frustrated said: “Why can’t we have our perfect person?” Dating is so hard, and not knowing that it as perfect person out there for you makes it even harder.  She continued, “I wish you never told me about his dating internet site crap, now I’m more upset and feeling more like, I’ll never find the person for me.” Veronica about to pull her hair-out, resolved said what about “Ideal Partners”, what will happen If I find my “Ideal Partner”?  Gabby respond “Sorry Veronica But…

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Your “Ideal Partner” Will Always Create Problems By Kyle Benson


Anyone who finds themselves in a dysfunctional relationship will either try to make their partner “perfect” by changing them, or try to change themselves to be the “perfect” partner.

Here’s the truth:

  • Every person is imperfect.
  • You can’t make a person change.
  • Therefore, you must love an imperfect person you can tolerate – or even appreciate.

With that said, whoever you choose to love, realize that you are also choosing to love a set of problems. There are no problem-free candidates.

Problems are a part of any relationship, and you will have some sort of problems no matter who you love.

For example:

Lacey married Andrew, who tends to be a tad loud at parties. Lacey, who is shy, hates that.

But if Andrew had married Molly, he and Molly would have gotten into a fight before they even got to the party. That’s because Andrew is always late and Molly hates to be kept waiting. If someone is late, Molly feels taken for granted; something in her childhood made her sensitive about that. If Molly were to confront Andrew on being late, Andrew would have believed her complaining was an attempt to dominate him. That’s something he gets upset over rather quickly.

If Andrew had married Leah, they wouldn’t have even made it to the party, because they would be fighting about Andrew’s lack of help with the housework. This makes Leah feel abandoned, something that makes her stomach queasy. And Andrew would have seen Leah’s complaining as an attempt to dominate him.

Since we are never perfect and our partners are never perfect, our imperfections are bound to cause two types of problems: solvable problems and unsolvable problems.

Solvable conflicts can be as simple as setting up a relationship ritual such as a five minute coffee chat to feel more emotionally connected. Solvable conflicts reach a resolution and rarely get brought up again.

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The Continuous  Couples Conflict

Meet John Gottman. He is the Muhammad Ali of relationships. During 40+ years of research on happily married couples, John was able to create a combo of techniques that produced a ridiculous 90% knockout rate in predicting whether couples would divorce within 10 years or not.

His heavyweight title showed that the happiest couples have persistent unresolved conflicts.

In each one of John’s books, he points out this: The idea that couples must resolve all their problems is a fairytale.

In fact, relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. When we fight and argue, it teaches us how to love better, how to take a step back from the “problem” to understand our partners better. It teaches us how to work with change in our relationships as it evolves. It reminds us of why we choose our partners, and allows us to renew our relationship over time.

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The Never-ending Fight

According to John Gottman, couples disagree on unsolvable never-ending issues 69% of the time.

These perpetual conflicts are a byproduct of the fundamental differences between partners. Differences in personalities, needs, and expectations that are fundamental to their core definitions of self.

Despite how much we want the problems to go away, they never will.

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The Emotionally Clogged Relationship

If couples cannot start talking about the unsolvable problem in a healthy way, the conflict may make the relationship emotionally clogged. Unable to drain the tension between lovers.

The topic of the conflict doesn’t matter in terms of knowing if the problem clogs the relationship or not. It can be about anything. To an outsider it may seem like a very small issue, like not vacuuming the house. But within the relationship, it feels like a monster in the closet; too scary to open up.

When a relationship is clogged, partners feel rejected by their lover. They feel like they can’t get through, like their partner doesn’t care or like to talk about the issue.

Ironically the more partners ignore the conflict, the more they have the same conversation over and over again. It’s like a dog chasing its own tail. Over time the partners become more and more entrenched in their positions and the friction between them grows. It may hit a point where there’s no possibility of compromise.

Conversations turn into the perfect storm – no shared humor, affection, or appreciation. Just winds and rains of frustration and hurt. If the storm lasts long enough, people start vilifying one another.

Their thoughts become negative. They turn against each other. They see each other as selfish.

All of this clogging eventually leads to a clog in trust.

Breaks in trust tend to push partners away from each other. It doesn’t take a couple’s therapist to realize that the likelihood of infidelity and divorce is directly proportional to how miserable the relationship is.

Talking about the issue is like taking a plunger to the toilet. It releases all of the built up emotional tension. Despite the unpleasantness of the never-ending problem, lasting happy couples are able to talk about the issue with a lot of positive emotions – laughter, affection or even appreciation.

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Lack of Safety = Lack of Communication

Often times these perpetual problems never get talked about because one or both partners never feel safe enough to bring it up. Sometimes it’s due to past experiences in our relationships (even childhood) and other times it’s due to partners feeling neglected and lacking connection. This can prevent partners from being vulnerable enough to open up.

When a relationship achieves a certain level of safety and one partner clearly communicates that he or she wants to know about the underlying meaning of other partner’s position, the other partner can finally open up and talk about their feelings, dreams and needs.

The goal is for each partner to understand the other’s dreams behind the position on the issue. For example: one partner may wish to save for traveling during retirement. The other may want to spend that money on an exotic trip now.

You can continue to talk about the same issues, occasionally improving the situation for a short time, but the problem will always re-emerge.

There is value to realizing that when choosing a long-term partner, you are choosing a set of problems you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty, or even fifty years. Next Week Part III

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What Does A Man See When He Looks At An Attractive Women: Sometimes It An’t Just “Cat Calls” I Of III

She wore a blue sundress and as she walked down the street men called, whistled and made sexual comments, she was used to it and just kept walking. Turning the corner a man in a blue pinstriped suit and blue suede shoes, said to her “wow you look fabulous today. “ “I just want to ask you one question.” Do you actually know what you do to men when you walk into our presents? She responded “No,” but stopped to hear more, as she waited he moved closer to her and continued, “I always wondered how a beautiful women felt when she took a shower and looked at her naked body in the mirror.” She turned toward him and said “I never consisted looking at my body that way; also I never wondered how a man felt or even considered his feeling when I came around.” “I thought like my mom would say: “That are all pigs, and they are dogs in heat, that’s all. So tell me, from a sexy man’s point of view, how do men feel?”

He responded “You actually take their breath away,” “You take him from just sitting in a chair to being on an emotional roller coaster, “Your beauty is so shocking, that they have to make a verbal response, because they also have to be loud enough that the guy’s around him, could hear and then see you, so that he doesn’t have to mess-up explaining you to friends and they not believing him.” “You are a impossibility, turned possible, an event in a moment in time that may happen only once in a life time, and you‘re so worth his excitement and time. that he wants his friends to experience the glow of you, with him.” “An illustration of poetry in motion , and Wow he can’t believe his eye’s, that’s what you are!!!” “And that’s why they respond that way!!!”

The reason that men like meeting and responding to pretty women:

Meeting pretty women makes men feel good

Flirting with an attractive woman really does make men feel good, scientists find, as they discover it causes a surge in health-giving hormones.


Meeting pretty women makes men feel good

Psychologists found that just a five minute talk with an attractive women raised the levels of testosterone by 14 per cent Photo: GETTY IMAGES
Richard Alleyne
By , Science Correspondent6:30AM BST 30 Sep 2009Researchers found that just being in the presence of a pretty member of the opposite sex causes a temporary boost in levels of testosterone and cortisol – both hormones associated with alertness and wellbeing.
However hanging around with other men has the opposite affect – reducing the levels of both substances in the body.
The findings suggest that men could be better off having a chat with their female friends than going down the pub with their mates.
The researchers at the University of California, whose findings are published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, carried out the study to see if humans replicated the boost found in animals known as the “mating response”.
They recruited 149 male students aged between 18 and 24 with a third interacting with a male researcher of 25 and the others talking to one of seven young female undergraduates aged 18 to 22.
After the short five minute sessions the men were asked to rate the physical attractiveness of the women between one and seven. The average was 5.83 showing they found them alluring.The participants then swished with mouthwash before providing a sample of saliva into a collection vial which was tested within 20 to 40 minutes of exposure to the women.

Psychologists found that just a five minute talk with an attractive women raised the levels of testosterone by 14 per cent and the anti-stress hormone cortisol by 48 per cent.

Spending the same time with men saw the hormones drop two per cent and seven per cent respectively.

Research into animals have long shown the same effect in animals which is known as the “mating response”.

Testosterone is linked with the male libido, as well as health and wellbeing. It can also provide an energy boost.

Cortisol also boosts alertness and calms the nerves at the same time. Together they can produce the effect of feeling more alive, it is said.

Dr James Roney, who led the study, and his colleagues believe that the increases do replicate the boosts found in animals.

They said: “Both testosterone and cortisol increased among men who spoke with women but declined among men who interacted with other men.”

Dr Leslie Knapp, a biological anthropologist at the University of Cambridge, said the response was evolutionary and was to do with finding and competing for possible mates.

“It all boils down to sex,” she said. “High levels of testosterone are associated with boosting sexual performance whereas cortisol helps focus your energy and helps you deal with anxiety.”

Testosterone levels peak in a man by his early twenties, and then gradually diminish. Men who are married or in long-term relationships have lower testosterone levels than those still playing the field.

It is thought that when men find women attractive, their brains send messages to the pituitary gland, triggering production of testosterone.

Richard Alleyne
By , Science Correspondent6:30AM BST 30 Sep 2009Researchers found that just being in the presence of a pretty member of the opposite sex causes a temporary boost in levels of testosterone and cortisol – both hormones associated with alertness and wellbeing.
However hanging around with other men has the opposite affect – reducing the levels of both substances in the body.
The findings suggest that men could be better off having a chat with their female friends than going down the pub with their mates.
The researchers at the University of California, whose findings are published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, carried out the study to see if humans replicated the boost found in animals known as the “mating response”.
They recruited 149 male students aged between 18 and 24 with a third interacting with a male researcher of 25 and the others talking to one of seven young female undergraduates aged 18 to 22.
After the short five minute sessions the men were asked to rate the physical attractiveness of the women between one and seven. The average was 5.83 showing they found them alluring.The participants then swished with mouthwash before providing a sample of saliva into a collection vial which was tested within 20 to 40 minutes of exposure to the women.

Psychologists found that just a five minute talk with an attractive women raised the levels of testosterone by 14 per cent and the anti-stress hormone cortisol by 48 per cent.

Spending the same time with men saw the hormones drop two per cent and seven per cent respectively.

Research into animals have long shown the same effect in animals which is known as the “mating response”.

Testosterone is linked with the male libido, as well as health and wellbeing. It can also provide an energy boost.

Cortisol also boosts alertness and calms the nerves at the same time. Together they can produce the effect of feeling more alive, it is said.

Dr James Roney, who led the study, and his colleagues believe that the increases do replicate the boosts found in animals.

They said: “Both testosterone and cortisol increased among men who spoke with women but declined among men who interacted with other men.”

Dr Leslie Knapp, a biological anthropologist at the University of Cambridge, said the response was evolutionary and was to do with finding and competing for possible mates.

“It all boils down to sex,” she said. “High levels of testosterone are associated with boosting sexual performance whereas cortisol helps focus your energy and helps you deal with anxiety.”

Testosterone levels peak in a man by his early twenties, and then gradually diminish. Men who are married or in long-term relationships have lower testosterone levels than those still playing the field.

It is thought that when men find women attractive, their brains send messages to the pituitary gland, triggering production of testosterone.

The Science Of Attraction: Men Are Subconsciously Looking For These 8 Things In A Woman

what does a man feel when he sees an attractive women

Did you know there is a biological explanation for why men seem to show preference for specific women?

JULY 11, 2017

When you experience those initial feelings of attraction, it can knock you off your feet. More often than not, those first feelings you experience for someone you’re attracted to seem inexplicable and maybe even nonsensical.


The truth is, attraction isn’t random. Science can explain a lot of why we feel what we feel for a person who catches our eye.

As it turns out, even when they aren’t aware of it, many men are looking for certain things in the women they get romantically involved with.

He may think he is simply on the hunt for his next date, but thanks to evolution, he is also subconsciously looking for a partner for his role in the survival of the human race.


This innate drive to recreate can explain these nine things men are hardwired to look for in a potential love interest.

1. It’s in her hips.

Even though an argument could probably be made that most men aren’t thinking about their future as a father when they ask someone out on a date, they seem to be biologically predisposed to be attracted to women who have a certain body shape associated with fertility.


According to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a large percentage of men report feeling attracted to women who have a low waist-to-hip ratio.

The researchers who wrote this study hypothesized that men’s brains associate a low waist-to-hip ratio with youthfulness and reproductive health.

2. It’s all about symmetry.

Although you probably learned all about it in art class or geometry, men’s biology seems to be fixated on symmetry. Symmetry is the idea that—when divided in half—each side of an object, person, or image mirrors the other.


Of course, men aren’t simply attracted to any symmetry they see. We are all specifically wired to look for this characteristic in other human beings and use it a subconscious tool for rating attractiveness, according to the journal Symmetry.

There are a few different theories about why this in the case. Some researchers think symmetry is believed to be an indication of overall health.


There are others who believe that because symmetrical images are easier to process visually, our brain is wired to show preference for this characteristic.

Continue to II Of III

In Pursuit Of The Perfect Partner: Part I of III

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“Perfection” shouted Veronica, “you asked me what I wanted, and I will say it again, Perfection!!!” Gabby looked at her with anger, saying “Ronny nobody’s perfect, especially any guy that looking for a girl on the internet.” Gabby continued, “I just want to know what kind of guy you are looking for to go out with.” Veronica going back to her original point: “Gabby, you said I can have any guy I wanted, and I continue to say “Perfection.” Gabby re-states original her point saying: “I said, IF, you can have any guy you wanted, what kind of guy would you want?” Veronica calms down and asked the question: “Why can’t a person have a perfect partner?” Gabby Explains:

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Who Is the Perfect Partner?

The perfect partner is not the perfect person you dream about.

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” Tom Robbins
“We are, each of us, angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.” Luciano de Crescenzo
The search for the perfect partner typically focuses upon looking for the perfect person with the ideal desirable traits. The major flaw in such a search is that it fails to take account of whether there is harmony between the would-be couple.
The futility of such a search is clearly illustrated in Graeme Simsion’s wonderful book, The Rosie Project. In this book, Don Tillman, a university professor, is looking for a wife and prepares a detailed list of the characteristics he desires in the perfect woman, such as intelligence, a good cook, always being on time, a non-smoker, a non-drinker, with a high level of fitness. He ruled out many women till he met Rosie, a bartender who smokes, drinks, and does not meet most of his criteria for a suitable romantic partner. Together they search for Rosie’s biological father and, in the process, Don falls in love with Rosie. It is not her individual characteristics that generate his love but the harmony he discovers with her that makes the difference.
Profound loving relationships are those involving harmonious relationships in which both partners feel that they are personally flourishing within the relationship. Each of them is involved in personal intrinsic activities and they perceive most of their activities together as intrinsic activities. Functional harmony is determined by the suitability of each partner to the other, and not by whether their isolated qualities are the best in town. In such cases, romantic compromises are eliminated, or at least considerably reduced.
Gabby continues; “OK Ronny, Now that we see that our perfect person might not exist,” Veronica chimes in: “Not None Existent?” Gabby gives in and say “alright Ronny they might exist, and with all our issues, we Ronny also might not be on anyone’s list, of being the perfect person?” She continues Let’s look at this subject from a different angle:”

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Functional Harmony
I distinguish between harmony and compatibility, which are often taken to indicate two systems (or parts) that are able to work together. I take compatibility to essentially describe the absence of features that may prevent the systems being together, whereas harmony also expresses the normative aspect of being a pleasant and valued arrangement; harmony also implies an internal calm, a kind of tranquility. The compatibility between people’s characteristics typically prevents their marriages from having fierce hostile disputes; when the marriage is harmonious, it actively promotes their individual flourishing.
Functional harmony is not a mythical term. Although predicting its presence is difficult, it is not impossible. Such harmony involves more than merely comparable levels of both attraction and praiseworthiness; it entails profound interest in those activities of the partner that underlie the partner’s flourishing
Leon Seltzer, in his excellent post, “How Rational Are ‘Rational’ Marriages?”, argues that “a good omen of long-term compatibility is whether the couple is uncannily adept at completing each other’s sentences. There’s a certain harmonious affinity, or simpatico, that—besides the much more obvious physical attraction—fuels their desire to be together.” These couples feel that they are lucky and were made for each other. In such relationships people feel that their partners “can almost effortlessly relate to you in ways that makes you feel comfortable… They can appreciate and be sympathetic to not only your strengths but also your weaknesses and special sensitivities.” These people are “prepared to alter their preconceptions of what—objectively—they needed in a relationship because this relationship just felt so right to them.” In this case, the “fundamental need to live your life with someone who truly grasps who you are may supersede virtually every other relational ‘requirement’ you might imagine.”
We may speak here about a dynamic functional harmony. This harmony does not merely prevent the burden of having to live with the significant negativity typical of romantic compromises, but also with the other aspect of such compromises: yearning for a better option. It prevents this by promoting an intrinsically valuable system involving ongoing activities that have their own value. By promoting the profound intrinsic activities of each partner, the harmonious marital system also enables the partners’ activities together to acquire such a valuable nature.
The main characteristic of harmonious marriages (and other committed relationships) is not that they merely prevent your misery or the feeling of romantic compromises, but that they are constructive to the personal flourishing of each partner, thereby maintaining profound personal satisfaction. This can occur when the partners are involved in profound intrinsic activities and many of their activities together are of this nature. In functional harmony, which is created by the interaction between the two lovers, the importance of the individual features in themselves is reduced. The weight is shifted from the overall “objective” value of the partner—e.g., how attractive or wise she is—to how she is in accord with my personality, and in particular what her contribution is to creating and maintaining this harmony. The emphasis here is not on observable characteristics such as attractiveness, wealth, or social status, but on the ability to create this harmony together. In this sense, a beautiful rich actress would not be an alluring partner, as because of our unequal status, she would feel that she deserves a lot more than I can give and would not be instrumental in contributing to this harmony.
The crucial aspect of profound love is the way in which various characteristics of each person are in accord with those of the other in fulfilling the partner’s essential needs and enhancing both partners’ personal flourishing as well as enabling their partnership to flourish. Love is wonderful, but if love obstructs personal flourishing, the relationship will not last long. Romantic profundity is not just a subjective pleasant feeling or a matter of intellectual admiration; rather, it is a profound satisfaction that comes from the increasing flourishing of the partners, both separately and together. A functional harmony involves a high quality of shared and individual intrinsic activities.
The lack of functional harmony over time is the reason why marriages that at the beginning seem so promising from the perspective of the heart, as they involve intense passion, or from the perspective of the head, as on paper the list of the praiseworthy characteristics is impressive, or even from both perspectives, may fail the test of time. Romantic profundity does not merely consist of the right balance between the various characteristics of each person, but also of the functional harmony between the two lovers.
Gabby talks further “Now that might be a better and more workable place to start than perfection,”

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Suitability in Amsterdam’s Red Light District
People who consider themselves superior to you are very likely to believe that they are entitled to invest less in creating the functional harmony and that they deserve a bigger share of such a supposed “harmony.” These people will be less valuable partners for you. The value of your partner is measured here not by her isolated virtues, but by how suitable she is for you and to what extent each of you believe you deserve each other. In this sense, familiarity, rather than change, is an advantage.
When I once walked (with my partner) in Amsterdam’s Red Light District, I noticed that one average-looking woman was attracting more customers than her extremely beautiful neighbor. I explained this in light of the suitability and deservingness aspects. The beautiful woman, like other beautiful people, believes that she deserves more from those she is with. Hence, she is likely to invest less in the relationship, believing that her partner should compensate her for being with an inferior person. Indeed, the men I observed in Amsterdam chose the less beautiful woman as they assumed that she would invest more effort in pleasing them. It is said that Marilyn Monroe once complained to a friend that Kennedy’s love-making was always very brief and hurried. (The friend replied that since he had to run the country, he probably had no time for foreplay.) Powerful men like Kennedy may not invest much effort in love-making as they think they deserve good treatment without giving much back. Kennedy was not a good romantic partner, as functional harmony was never on his mind during his affairs.

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Gabby said this: Concluding remarks, before giving Veronica time to give her rebuttal to her Ideas.

The moral of these considerations is that the perfect partner may not be the perfect person about whom you are dreaming; rather, it is someone who is comparable to you and is ready to invest in creating functional harmony with you. Accordingly, your partner can be your best possible mate not if he is beautiful or famous, but if he is suited to you and you can create this functional harmony together. The need to make romantic compromises is eliminated or at least considerably reduced in these circumstances. Your main concern is not focused on compromising (after having compared him to other people), but on cooperating (with your partner).” ( Part II Next Week !!!

U.S. coal lobby fights black-lung tax as disease rates surge — peoples trust Toronto June 1, 2018 By Valerie Volcovici PRINCETON, West Virginia (Reuters) – As a young man, Barry Shrewsbury dug coal in the West Virginia mines and spent his time off hunting and fishing in the rolling hills. Now, at 62, he struggles to breath and accomplish basic tasks such as shopping and showering, and relies […]

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Google reportedly identified one of the ideologies of the California Republican Party as “Nazism” on its highly popular search platform.

Authored by Eric Lieberman via The Daily Caller, Google reportedly identified one of the ideologies of the California Republican Party as “Nazism” on its highly popular search platform. The piece of inaccurate information, which is hyperlinked to presumably take web browsers to more information about the hateful, fascist persuasion, is found in the “knowledge panel,” […]

via Google Blames Wikipedia For Listing Nazism As One Of California Republican Party’s Ideologies — peoples trust toronto