Do You Feel Safe? Anxious in America Part II of III

Image result for excessive worry

Excessive worry

The hallmark of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)—the broadest type of anxiety—is worrying too much about everyday things, large and small. But what constitutes “too much”?
In the case of GAD, it means having persistent anxious thoughts on most days of the week, for six months. Also, the anxiety must be so bad that it interferes with daily life and is accompanied by noticeable symptoms, such as fatigue.
“The distinction between an anxiety disorder and just having normal anxiety is whether your emotions are causing a lot of suffering and dysfunction,” says Sally Winston, PsyD, co-director of the Anxiety and Stress Disorder Institute of Maryland in Towson.

Image result for Sleep problems

Sleep problems

Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep is associated with a wide range of health conditions, both physical and psychological. And, of course, it’s not unusual to toss and turn with anticipation on the night before a big speech or job interview.
But if you chronically find yourself lying awake, worried or agitated—about specific problems (like money), or nothing in particular—it might be a sign of an anxiety disorder. By some estimates, fully half of all people with GAD experience sleep problems.
Another tip-off that anxiety might be involved? You wake up feeling wired, your mind is racing, and you’re unable to calm yourself down.

Image result for Irrational fears

Irrational fears

Some anxiety isn’t generalized at all; on the contrary, it’s attached to a specific situation or thing—like flying, animals, or crowds. If the fear becomes overwhelming, disruptive, and way out of proportion to the actual risk involved, it’s a telltale sign of phobia, a type of anxiety disorder.
Although phobias can be crippling, they’re not obvious at all times. In fact, they may not surface until you confront a specific situation and discover you’re incapable of overcoming your fear. “A person who’s afraid of snakes can go for years without having a problem,” Winston says. “But then suddenly their kid wants to go camping, and they realize they need treatment.”

Image result for Muscle tension

Muscle tension

Near-constant muscle tension—whether it consists of clenching your jaw, balling your fists, or flexing muscles throughout your body—often accompanies anxiety disorders. This symptom can be so persistent and pervasive that people who have lived with it for a long time may stop noticing it after a while.
Regular exercise can help keep muscle tension under control, but the tension may flare up if an injury or other unforeseen event disrupts a person’s workout habits, Winston says. “Suddenly they’re a wreck, because they can’t handle their anxiety in that way and now they’re incredibly restless and irritable.”

Image result for Chronic indigestion

Chronic indigestion

Anxiety may start in the mind, but it often manifests itself in the body through physical symptoms, like chronic digestive problems. Irritable bowel syndrome(IBS), a condition characterized by stomach aches, cramping, bloating, gas, constipation, and/or diarrhea, “is basically an anxiety in the digestive tract,” Winston says.
IBS isn’t always related to anxiety, but the two often occur together and can make each other worse. The gut is very sensitive to psychological stress—and, vice versa, the physical and social discomfort of chronic digestive problems can make a person feel more anxious.

Image result for stage fright

Stage fright

Most people get at least a few butterflies before addressing a group of people or otherwise being in the spotlight. But if the fear is so strong that no amount of coaching or practice will alleviate it, or if you spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it, you may have a form of social anxiety disorder (also known as social phobia).

People with social anxiety tend to worry for days or weeks leading up to a particular event or situation. And if they do manage to go through with it, they tend to be deeply uncomfortable and may dwell on it for a long time afterward, wondering how they were judged.

Image result for Self-consciousness

Self-consciousness
Social anxiety disorder doesn’t always involve speaking to a crowd or being the center of attention. In most cases, the anxiety is provoked by everyday situations such as making one-on-one conversation at a party, or eating and drinking in front of even a small number of people.
In these situations, people with social anxiety disorder tend to feel like all eyes are on them, and they often experience blushing, trembling, nausea, profuse sweating, or difficulty talking. These symptoms can be so disruptive that they make it hard to meet new people, maintain relationships, and advance at work or in school.

Image result for Panic

Panic

Panic attacks can be terrifying: Picture a sudden, gripping feeling of fear and helplessness that can last for several minutes, accompanied by scary physical symptoms such as breathing problems, a pounding or racing heart, tingling or numb hands, sweating, weakness or dizziness, chest pain, stomach pain, and feeling hot or cold.
Not everyone who has a panic attack has an anxiety disorder, but people who experience them repeatedly may be diagnosed with panic disorder. People with panic disorder live in fear about when, where, and why their next attack might happen, and they tend to avoid places where attacks have occurred in the past.

Image result for Flashbacks

Flashbacks

Reliving a disturbing or traumatic event—a violent encounter, the sudden death of a loved one—is a hallmark of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which shares some features with anxiety disorders. (Until very recently, in fact, PTSD was seen as a type of anxiety disorder rather than a stand-alone condition.)
But flashbacks may occur with other types of anxiety as well. Some research, including a 2006 study in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders, suggests that some people with social anxiety have PTSD-like flashbacks of experiences that might not seem obviously traumatic, such as being publicly ridiculed. These people may even avoid reminders of the experience—another symptom reminiscent of PTSD.

Image result for Perfectionism

Perfectionism

The finicky and obsessive mind-set known as perfectionism “goes hand in hand with anxiety disorders,” Winston says. “If you are constantly judging yourself or you have a lot of anticipatory anxiety about making mistakes or falling short of your standards, then you probably have an anxiety disorder.”
Perfectionism is especially common in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which, like PTSD, has long been viewed as an anxiety disorder. “OCD can happen subtly, like in the case of somebody who can’t get out of the house for three hours because their makeup has to be absolutely just right and they have to keep starting over,” Winston says.

Image result for Compulsive behaviors

Compulsive behaviors

In order to be diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, a person’s obsessiveness and intrusive thoughts must be accompanied by compulsive behavior, whether it’s mental (telling yourself It’ll be all right over and over again) or physical (hand-washing, straightening items).
Obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior become a full-blown disorder when the need to complete the behaviors—also known as “rituals”—begins to drive your life, Winston says. “If you like your radio at volume level 3, for example, and it breaks and gets stuck on 4, would you be in a total panic until you could get it fixed?”

Advertisements

Liar Liar, But Never Get Tired, “The Truth That All Humans Lie!!!” Part II of II

Image result for People Lie When They Don’t Need To

6 Reasons People Lie When They Don’t Need To

Understanding the motivations of pathological liars.

Posted Jan 23, 2017

Pathological lying isn’t a clinical diagnosis, though it can sometimes be a symptom of other issues, such as a personality disorder or a manic episode. But some people get so accustomed to lying that they do so even when there is no clear purpose, and when their lies are easily disproven, leaving everyone scratching their heads over the point of their deceptions.

Over the years, I’ve worked with a number of these people — so-called pathological or compulsive liars — and gained some insight into the way they think. Believe it or not, their lying makes some sense, when you look at it through their eyes.

1. The lie does matter … to them. The number one reason people lie when it just doesn’t matter is because they actually do think it matters. While everyone around them thinks it’s an inconsequential issue, the liar believes it is critically important. They may be putting undeserved emphasis or pressure on themselves, or on the issue, but you won’t know unless you ask something like, “It seems like this issue is really important to you — why?”

2. Telling the truth feels like giving up control. Often, people tell lies because they are trying to control a situation and exert influence toward getting the decisions or reactions they want. The truth can be “inconvenient” because it might not conform to their narrative.

3. They don’t want to disappoint you. It may not feel like it to you, but people who tell lie after lie are often worried about losing the respect of those around them. They want you to like them, be impressed, and value them. And they’re worried that the truth might lead you to reject or shamethem.

Image result for lies snow ball

4. Lies snowball. I remember a cartoon my kids watched years ago about how lies grow. We tell a little bitty lie, but then to cover that lie, we have to tell another one, then another, and another — each gets bigger and bigger. Finally, we’re arguing about the color of the sky, because to admit anythingcreates the potential of the entire house of cards tumbling. If a chronic liar admits to any single lie, they feel like they’re admitting to being a liar, and then you’ll have reason to distrust them.

5. It’s not a lie to them. When we are under pressure, our thinking about the big picture can be challenged. Our memory of things is actually quite unreliable: Multiple studies demonstrate that our memories are influenced by many things, that they change over time, and that they are essentially reconstructed each time we think about them. Often, repetitive liars feel so much pressure in the moment that their memory becomes simply unreliable. When they say something, it’s often because they genuinely believe, at that moment, that it is the truth. Their memory has been overwhelmed by stress, current events, and their desire to find a way to make this situation work. Sometimes, this can become so severe that the person almost seems to have created a complete alternate world in their head, one that conforms to their moment-by-moment beliefs and needs.

6. They want it to be true. Finally, the liar might want their lie to be true so badly that their desire and needs again overwhelm their instinct to tell the truth. “Be the change you want to see in the world,” Gandhi never actually said. But sometimes, liars hope that they can make something come true by saying it over and over, and by believing it as hard as they can. In today’s environment of “alternative facts,” it’s hard not to see this as somewhat justified.
Wikimedia Commons
Source: Wikimedia Commons

People, by and large, are honest by default. Most people tell the truth most of the time. Our very capacity for language is built on an assumption of honesty — we agree that the words we use mean the same thing consistently, and we don’t use words deceptively because this would render language and the very communication of ideas impossible. Some people lie more than others, but even frequent liars are actually honest most of the time. But it stands out dramatically when their deceptions are so blatant, easily disproven, and seemingly unimportant.

Related image

As frustrating as it is when people tell whoppers, we can begin to understand the motivations behind them. Asking the person, “Why is this situation so important to you?” or, “Why do you need me to see this the same way you do?” can be a useful, non-threatening way to get at the foundations of stress and desperation that often underlie deceptions. Don’t ask, “Why are you lying?” We need to remember that the person is often motivated by not being seen as a liar, and this question paints them into a corner.

Of course, understanding a big fibber’s motivations and having empathy in such situations is valuable. But to function effectively in the real world, we also need people to learn to be more honest. Communicating empathy for a person’s desperation can be a valuable tool to give them permission to tell the truth. And then, recognizing and reinforcing when a person does tell the truth is a powerful way to get more truth-telling. It shows people that the truth is not scary, and that the world won’t end when the truth comes out.

Image result for night two car accident

Harold was so adamant and belligerent, that Officer Larry had to handcuff and take him into the police station. After three days, he was let out and take to court for the following infractions: failure to yield, causing an accident, aggressive behavior, and being a threat to a officer in the performance of his duties. While in court the judge asked him why he was behaving in such an aggressive manner, Harold said: “They were trying to say I was lying, and I wasn’t!” The judge calmed him down and ended with a statement…” An officer has a hard job, and one of his major jobs is trying to find the likely-hood of someone telling the truth, and during his investigation he realizes “Why Everybody Lies” (Yes, Even You)…..

Image result for cartoon person in court

Why Everybody Lies (Yes, Even You)
Are we natural born liars? Is it human to lie? Inside the new documentary, “ (Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.”
The logo from the new film,

Lying liars lie. That’s clear. But does everyone else lie too? Are we all liars? A new documentary called “(Dis)Honesty – The Truth About Lies” rounds up the research and lays out what we know. Little lies, white lies, big lies, whoppers. What we condemn and what we roll with. It’s quite a smorgasbord. You may think you’re above all that. But are you? And what about the power-brokers who frame our world? What happens when they lie? This hour On Point: the truth about lies.
— Tom Ashbrook

(Photo)

Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more


Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more


Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more


Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more

Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more

Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more

Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more

Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more

Guest
Dan Ariely, professor of psychology and behavioral economics at Duke University. Founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. Author of “Predictably Irrational,” “Irrationally Yours” and “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty.” Featured in the new documentary film, “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies.” (@danariely)Dallas Denery, professor of history and chair of the history department at Bowdoin College. Author of the book, “The Devil Wins.”From Tom’s Reading ListLos Angeles Times: ‘Truth About Lies’ tells it like it is. Really — “Dan Ariely, an author, behavioral economist and Duke University professor, is our genial and articulate guide who lectures on the social, psychological and economic effects of lying. He also takes us through amusing experiments conducted to test human integrity, particularly when influenced by monetary gain. Spread throughout Ariely’s discourse are a variety of involving, true-life examples of folks whose untruths — white lies, tall tales, ‘fudges’ and whoppers — ranged from simply irritating family members to landing said liars in prison.”

Related image

The Science of Us: The Truth About the Ways People Lie — “Ariely has favored something called the matrix experiment, a set of 20 straightforward math problems that anyone could solve, were they given enough time. The trick is, as Ariely explains, they never give their study volunteers enough time. The participants get just five minutes to answer as many questions as they can; then, they take their papers up to the front of the room and shred them. Next to the shredder is one of the experimenters, and the students are instructed to tell this person how many questions they answered correctly, and they’ll be paid the according amount of dollars.But there’s a second trick: The shredder didn’t actually shred their papers. It only shred the sides, so the researchers can later see who was telling the truth. On average, people solve four problems correctly, but they tend to report getting six right.”PASTE Magazine: (Dis)Honesty: The Truth about Lies — “Doping, insider trading, high-profile affairs—these are all examples of lies that pretty much everyone condemns. We identify the people who’ve committed these dishonest acts, the cheaters, as bad people. But everybody lies, some just do it more often or on a bigger scale.”(http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2015/12/29/why-everybody-lies-yes-even-you)

Image result for thinking

…After Harold paid his fine and was released, the thought log and hard about the last four days; The accident, the aggression, the jail, and what the judge said and he came to the conclusion…

The Conclusion:

“Lying is so vital and so needed it’s written in our communications DNA, it so needed when people are down on there luck, when people are hurting, when people are desperate, when people are scared, when others are not being truthful to catch them, and lastly when some of us want to talk-down or impress the one or one’s we love.

It’s in every conversation of a lovers, woo, it’s in every rap and cool song, it’s in every TV show and movie, and sometimes it’s in your Pastor’s sermon. Cloaked in true and just a pretty little, well played, and sometimes will thought-out: half truth, little white, feel-good, LIE!!!” Moreover covering a lie, and being aggressive, will cost you more time than you willing to invest.

Image result for cost you more

Image result for cost you more

Do You Feel Safe? Anxious in America Part I of III

Image result for anxiety
We are constantly bombarded with: Family responsibilities, job responsibilities and any social or religious responsibilities, With all these things and people we have to help and answer to, it’s also a lot of stress and anxiety. Everyone gets anxious, restless, and frazzled — but if you constantly feel worried, tense or on edge, you may have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders involve more than temporary worry or fear. For a person with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety does not go away and can get worse over time.

Image result for anxiety

Anxiety Disorder

Sanne van Rooij, PhD, and Anaïs Stenson, PhD
In an anxiety-related disorder, your fear or worry does not go away and can get worse over time. It can influence your life to the extent that it can interfere with daily activities like school, work and/or relationships. Fear, stress, and anxiety are “normal feelings and experiences” but they are completely different than suffering from any of the seven diagnosable disorders plus substance-induced anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and trauma- or stressor-related disorders.
Butterflies in your stomach before an important event? Worried about how you will meet a deadline? Nervous about a medical or dental procedure? If so, you are like most people, for whom some worry about major events (like having a child, taking an exam, or buying a house), and/or practical issues (like money or health conditions), is a normal part of life. Similarly, it is not uncommon to have fears about certain things (like spiders, injections,

Image result for common fears and phobias
or heights) that cause you to feel some fear, worry, and/or apprehension. For example, many people get startled and feel nervous when they see a snake or a large insect. People can differ in what causes them to feel anxious, but almost everyone experiences some anxiety in the course of their life.
But, as an example, what if someone will not leave their home for extended periods of time because they are afraid of being in a crowd or being reminded of a past traumatic event. That is not a “normal feeling or experience.”
There are several different anxiety-related disorders. Some symptoms overlap across many of these disorders, and others are more specific to a single disorder. In general, however, all anxiety-related disorders feature worry, nervousness, or fear that is ongoing, excessive, and has negative effects on a person’s ability to function. It can be tricky to decide when

Image result for diagnosis
anxiety is typical or linked to a disorder, which is why diagnoses should be made by licensed professionals, such as psychologists or psychiatrists.
A helpful approach to distinguishing normal anxiety from an anxiety disorder is to identify the cause of the anxiety, and then assess whether the anxiety symptoms are a proportional response to it. Worries, fears, and intrusive thoughts that are extreme, unrealistic, or exaggerated and interfere with normal life and functioning could constitute an anxiety disorder. For instance, being concerned about getting sick and taking steps to avoid germs, like using hand sanitizer and avoiding touching door handles, does not necessarily constitute an anxiety disorder; however, if the concern about sickness makes it difficult to leave the house, then it is possible that the person suffers from an anxiety or anxiety-related disorder.

Image result for three cartoon
There are many anxiety-related disorders, and they are divided into three main categories:

  1. Anxiety disorders
  2. Obsessive-compulsive and related disorders
  3. Trauma- and stressor- related disorders

Anxiety disorders are characterized by a general feature of excessive fear (i.e. emotional response to perceived or real threat) and/or anxiety (i.e. worrying about a future threat) and can have negative behavioral and emotional consequences. Obsessive-compulsive and related disorders are characterized by obsessive, intrusive thoughts (e.g., constantly worrying about staying clean, or about one’s body size) that trigger related, compulsive behaviors (e.g. repeated hand-washing, or excessive exercise). These behaviors are performed to alleviate the anxiety associated with the obsessive thoughts. Trauma- and stressor- related anxiety disorders are related to the experience of a trauma (e.g., unexpected death of a loved one, a car accident, or a violent incident) or stressor (e.g., divorce, beginning college, moving).
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook used for diagnosis of mental health disorders, and is widely used by health care professionals around the world. For each disorder, the DSM

Image result for anatomy of a panic attack
has a description of symptoms and other criteria to diagnose the disorder. The DSM is important, because it allows different clinicians and/or researchers to use the same language when discussing mental health disorders. The first DSM was published in 1952 and has been updated several times after new research and knowledge became available. In 2013, the most recent version of the DSM, the DSM-5, was released. There are a few important differences with its predecessor DSM-IV regarding anxiety disorders. First, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is not part of the anxiety disorders any more, but now has its own category: Obsessive-Compulsive, Stereotypic and related disorders. Second, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) now also has its own category: Trauma and Stressor-related Disorders.

Image result for america and mental illness
If you think you might be struggling with an anxiety disorder, you’re not alone:

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S.
  • Over 40 million American adults are affected by anxiety disorders
  • Women are twice as likely as men to develop PTSD
  • 40% of American adults have experienced an Anxiety Disorder at some point in their life
  • Only 1/3 of adults suffering from anxiety disorders receive treatment
  • Only 1/5 of teenagers suffering anxiety disorders receive treatment
  • Anxiety disorders are estimated to cost society over $42 billion per year

Nevertheless, if you are struggling with symptoms of an anxiety disorder it is not uncommon to feel alone and misunderstood. Because the fear that people with an anxiety disorder have is not experienced by others, they may not understand why, for example, being in a crowd of people, not being able to wash your hands after meeting a new person, or driving through the street where you got in a car accident can be really anxiety-provoking for someone with an anxiety disorder. People may comment that “there is no reason to worry about it” or that you “should just let it go”.

Image result for its time to let go
Not everyone understands is that someone with an anxiety disorder cannot “just let things go”. This makes the struggle with an anxiety disorder even harder, and may prevent one from looking for help. However, it is very important to talk about these anxieties with someone and preferably find a health care professional as soon as you experience these symptoms. Anxiety should be considered as severe as a physical disease; however, most people in society do not appreciate the severity of this disorder. Some people may consider anxiety a fault or a weakness; however, it may help if people realize that many research studies have demonstrated biological explanations for (some of) the symptoms observed in anxiety disorders. Brain scans have demonstrated brain abnormalities in certain anxiety disorders, and also altered brain functioning has been demonstrated for individuals with anxiety disorders. Furthermore, there is some evidence that anxiety disorders might be linked to chemical imbalances in the brain.
So, if anxiety has so many negative effects, why is it relatively common? Many scientists who study anxiety disorders believe that many of the symptoms of anxiety (e.g., being easily startled, worrying about having enough resources) helped humans survive under harsh and dangerous
conditions. For instance, being afraid of a snake and having a “fight or flight” response is most likely a good idea! It can keep you from being injured or even killed. When humans lived in hunter-gatherer societies and couldn’t pick up their next meal at a grocery store or drive-through, it was useful to worry about where the next meal, or food for the winter, would come from. Similarly avoiding an area because you know there might be a bear would keep you alive —worry can serve to motivate behaviors that help you survive. But in modern society, these anxiety-related responses often occur in response to events or concerns that are not linked to survival. For example, seeing a bear in the zoo does not put you at any physical risk, and how well-liked you are at work does not impact your health or safety. In short, most experts believe that anxiety works by taking responses that are appropriate when there are real risks to your physical wellbeing (e.g., a predator or a gun), and then activating those responses when there is no imminent physical risk (e.g., when you are safe at home or work). (https://www.anxiety.org/what-is-anxiety)

Image result for anxiety
12 Signs That You Have A Anxiety Disorder
Worried? Nervous? The distinction between anxiety disorders and “normal” anxiety isn’t always clear.

What’s normal?

Everyone gets nervous or anxious from time to time—when speaking in public, for instance, or when going through financial difficulty. For some people, however, anxiety becomes so frequent, or so forceful, that it begins to take over their lives.
panic attacks, phobia, and social anxiety—and the distinction between an official diagnosis and “normal” anxiety isn’t always clear.
How can you tell if your everyday anxiety has crossed the line into a disorder? It’s not easy. Anxiety comes in many different forms—such as
Here’s a start: If you experience any of the following symptoms on a regular basis, you may want to talk with your doctor.

Liar Liar, But Never Get Tired. “The Truth That All Humans Lie!!!” Part I of II

Image result for a car accident at night in a parking lot

Harold yelled out, “Your A Liar!!!” as the presumed accident victim finished talking to the Police Sergeant Officer “Larry Johnson.” Officer Larry pulled the quarrels apart saying, “One at a time!!!” and pointed to Harold, Harold a middle ages school teacher, dressed in a blue pinstriped suit and a bow tie, yelled, “I was making a left turn out of the school paring lot, when this boob, barreling down, about forty miles an hour, not paying attention ran right into me!” continuing “You can see from the position of my car and the skid marks!”

Officer Larry pointed to Ronald, Ronald was an older man than Harold in his late sixties, a college professor, at the local university, was also dressed in a suit and bow-tie, on his way home from evening classes. As he began to speak; Harold lunged toward him and Officer Larry pulled him back sternly, and Ronald continued saying: “While driving down Oak-wood street, I noticed him in his car fiddling with some papers, as he set them in his back seat, and I thought that he would pause or lookup before proceeding out of the driveway and that’s when the accident happened.” “I couldn’t do anything, he just ran right into me.” ...

Image result for a car accident at night in a parking lot

Life happens just like this, one minute your just minding your own business, and next thing you know, your business is crash dead connected with someone else’s business. The problem with this scenario Officer Larry has to find out who at fault, because he has to listen to both individuals and see who is more truthful than the other.

The problem is both individuals are right, in there own mind and for many reasons, like: Not wanting to be wrong, Not wanting to pay for the damage, or both wanting to win the argument, both want to make their argument to the Police Officer more appealing, so they will win. This is the ripped soil for fabricating a story or just down right lying and both of them will lie by omission or commission to makeup the better story or Lie.

Lying is as normal as the idea of putting on makeup or cologne, you might not be openly not telling the truth, you’re just dressing it up for the listener. In this blog I just want to prove that all of us “have stories that are”all dressed up,” like the truth but they are not the truth. However the truth is sometime problematic to a society that:

Image result for lying

Lying Is Vital

Recent research in residential aged care by Anthony Tuckett from the University of Queensland has illustrated that, in some instances, Lying is not only necessary, it’s actually virtuous. It is a complex ethical tangle, but it illustrates the fact that lies are not ipso facto bad.

For all the bad press it gets, lying is one of the most fundamental parts of our social life. Diary studies have illustrated that so called “white lies” form an important part of our social fabric. Similarly, the ethicist Sissela Bok argued that even well-placed serious lies can alleviate, or even prevent, suffering and harm.

So why is it that something we regard as innately destructive is such an embedded part of our lives?

Image result for untruth

Ritual untruth

Harvey Sacks, sociologist and founder of the field of “conversation analysis”, argued that “everybody has to lie”. In his 1975 paper of the same name he highlighted how greetings have a formal-ritual character to them, and because of this we all lie – on an almost daily basis.

teaeff

Very simply, as a part of day to day introductory greetings Sacks found we have a “how are you” step. This phase of the greeting is an important indicator of our relationship with the other speaker. If the other party is a stranger or acquaintance, “fine” or something similar is the appropriate response.

It is as this step, if you are not “fine” that you’re supposed to lie. For instance, it’s awkward if you tell the supermarket cashier about your recent vasectomy. It’s even more awkward if you don’t tell your wife.

Sacks’ work illustrated that we have responsibilities to give certain categories of people the relevant information. We lie when we have to withhold information in order to manage the relationship.

This research on the role of lies in managing our relationships has been replicated across various cultures, including the Chinese, French and northern Thai cultures and even in members of South American culture Tzeltal. Speakers across these languages manage relationships with the ritual-formal aspects of their languages.

It has been argued that such white lies are universal. But, as claims to even basic universals such as emotions, or expressions are easily challenged it remains to be seen whether this feature of human sociality is a constant.

Nevertheless, these are the little white lies that glue our day-to-day relationships together. These are the sorts of untruths that often are not even regarded as lies.

It is of course the more serious lies that we care about. These are typically divided into two categories: lies of “commission” and lies of “omission”.

Lies of commission are when something is said that does not mirror reality. Lies of omission are those where somebody should have said something but failed to do so.

Image result for lying Commission

Commission

Lies of commission are all about manufacturing our own version of events. When we come across a discrepancy between someone else’s version of events and our own experience or understanding of those events we routinely rush to reconcile the two.

bass_nroll

The late UCLA sociologist Melvin Pollnercalled this difference between other’s reports and our experiences a part of the “politics of experience”. One of the ways to reconcile such a difference is to conclude (and possibly assert) that the other person is lying. If the other (lying) party doesn’t back down then some sort of dispute will likely ensue.

Lies of commission are those in which you proactively manufacture a version of events that differs with what you know to be “true”. Mind you, any philosopher will tell you that “truth” is an altogether more complicated issue. In any case it is this sense of agency that marks the difference between commission and omission.

This agency aspect of lies is reflected in peoples’ reactions when they find out they’ve been lied to. Lies themselves are typically responsive moves in interaction (if, albeit, pre-planned responses). People lie when they answer a question, or are asked to make a statement. Research has yet to find instances where people simply volunteer that a statement is false (excepting pathological liars and those afflicted with Korsaoff’s syndrome).

My own research, for instance replicated earlier work which found that lies tend to occur in such “second positions” in conversation (answers, denials and so forth). I found no cases in which lies were used proactively.

But this was juxtaposed against the portrayals of liars when found out. Participants in my research painted liars as having actively lied, rather than having reactively done so.

What’s the difference? Well, Harold Garfinkel, influential sociologist and the founder of “ethnomethodology”, demonstrated that we “trust” that people are doing what they appear to be doing.

He showed that if people stop trusting another person’s actions to be what they appear to be, and instead incessantly question people’s motives, social interactions grind to a halt.

As Maarten Derksen from the University of Gronigen argues, lies violate this taken-for-granted nature of interaction. So what you are “doing” when you lie is subverting the normal assumptions of transparency between motives and action.

Image result for lying by omission cartoon

Omission

Lies by omission, as police will tell you, are exceedingly difficult to spot. This is because, in conversation, there are any number of possible things you could say. You don’t violate the principle of trust when you omit details.

niznoz

This is precisely how politicians operate. The maxim “how do you know when a politician is lying? It’s when they are speaking” refers almost exclusively to lies by omission. Instead politicians operate on evasion and omission.

This lends defensibility to their position, because proving a lie by omission relies on making the person responsible for answering or responding with particular information and that you have failed to do so.

For instance, police often struggle with to obtain information from witnesses in witness interviews, but can force the witness to provide information under oath. In effect, the witness has lied by omission in the witness interview.

And if we bring it back to human societies, lies by omission can be seen as a breach of relationships. In our vasectomy example, it would be a lie by omission if you failed to tell your partner, but not a lie by omission if you failed to tell the friendly supermarket cashier.

The notion of “lies = bad” and “truth = good” oversimplifies the very functional use of lies in our everyday life.(https://theconversation.com/truth-is-everyone-lies-all-the-time-6749)

Image result for night two car accident

…Officer Larry, asked for both men’s: Driver Licences, Proof of Insurance, and Registration Cards and told them to wait in the car. After a couple of minutes, Officer Larry appeared at their car windows, with a piece of paper for both and told then to transcribe the statements of how the accident happened onto the paper. Both took the paper and Officer Larry went back to his vehicle, using his computer he looked up their information to make sure that their information was valid.

Realizing both drivers information was valid, he copied their information for each drivers to send to their perspective insurance companies, then he returned each guys insurance information and gave them a copy of each ones insurance information and retrieved their written statements. Reading through both statement he realized that both were enhanced with more details, than the statements both men gave before, but only statement one changed his statement, so much that it was almost exactly like the other victims story except, he was the driver that wasn’t at fault. Officer Larry came to the conclusion, that the one that changed his statement, understood that he was at fault and tried to make himself look better in the same scenario.

Officer Larry then asked both men to return from their cars to the scene of the accident, and handed out one ticket, to Harold, and allowed both men to call their insurance companies and then Officer Larry hear’s, “Liar, You and Mr. Ronald, just want to make me the scapegoat!!!”… Officer Larry realized that “he lied, even lied when we don’t need to.” ….

No Matter What Group You Join: It’s All Group-think

Related image

Martha was running late for her job interview, it was nine o’clock and her interview was at ten, and her interview location was on the other side of town. Driving a cross town, would take her at least thirty minutes to get there. So she thought to herself, “it would save time if I put my makeup on in the car, on the way to her interview. ” Finishing her lipstick she said to herself, “not bad,” as she continued driving toward her interview location, glancing at the clock she said to herself a second time “not bad” and ended her thought with “I’m good.”

Image result for putting makeup while driving cartoon

Arriving early she parked at the designated parking space, and walked briskly to the awaiting secretary and stated: “I’m Martha Johnson, and I have a interview with Ms. Miranda Gibbons for ten o’clock.” The secretary pointed to some chairs across from her and said: “You can sit over there while waiting, she is on her way.” As Martha sat in her chair, she read a couple of magazines, and when she looked up she could see a women in a “Ralph Lauren” women’s business suit, extending her hand and saying “Good Morning, I’m Miranda Gibbon. ” Martha stood introduced herself and Miranda whist her away to her office.

Image result for a women shaking hands at a interview cartoon

The interview lasted one hour but as Martha was leaving Miranda asked her, “when can you start?” Without missing a beat Martha said “in the morning or maybe this afternoon,” she questioned, “if that’s not too early?” Miranda said “Great, because I needed you yesterday.” As she continued speaking, she passed Martha a organization chart, her W-2 form, and her company rule book. Walking her down the hall she opened a door to a glorious room with a huge desk and large from ceiling to the floor three picturesque windows. Turned to her and said “you like it?” Martha said with glee, “Wow, Yes!” Well this is your office, enjoy it, take the rest of the day off, read your manual, and fill your space with your accents. We will start with your introduction meeting early tomorrow morning.

Image result for picture of a beautiful office cartoon

As she was reading through her work manual, she fell asleep, moved through her dream she was remembering the rules section and the dream took her back to her new job in her new office. Miranda her boss was there with a stick, banging it on a podium saying “ Martha you have to realize, you are one of us now,” and being one of us you have to learn our rules, our social structure, and our norm.” “You are one of us, at work, you act like us, you think like us, you believe like us, and you talk like us.” Martha was so scared that she woke up in a “cold sweat.”
Thinking about the dream and how crazy the people acted, and all of the weird things statement, and as she thought back deeply she came to the conclusion, that the statement :“You are one of us, at work you act like us, you think like us, you believe like us, and you talk like us.” she came to the conclusion, Wow that’s all true!!!
She realized that “When you start a new job, when you join a new club, or when you join a group you are, “One Of Them,” you are part of that group.”

Image result for groups  cartoon

A Groups are a fundamental part of social life. As we will see they can be very small – just two people – or very large. They can be highly rewarding to their members and to society as a whole, but there are also significant problems and dangers with them. All this makes them an essential focus for research, exploration and action. (http://infed.org/mobi/what-is-a-group/)

A List Of Attributes Of A Group:

  • A set of people engage in frequent interactions
  • They identify with one another.
  • They are defined by others as a group.
  • They share beliefs, values, and norms about areas of common interest.
  • They define themselves as a group.
  • They come together to work on common tasks and for agreed purposes (http://infed.org/mobi/what-is-a-group/)

Another thing that Martha elaborated on is that “All groups has rules that govern the group, groups like Military, Job, sport groups, social groups, personal groups, emotional groups, and some spiritual groups and interactions. Also the people of the group like the individuals in the group to pledge loyalty to them and to feel superior to other groups or see themselves better and or greater than another group this idea is similar to ethnocentrism”:

Image result for ethnocentrism cartoon

Ethnocentrism:
Ethnocentrism is the view that one particular ethnic group is somehow superior to all others. The word ethnocentrism derives from the Greek word ethnos, meaning “nation” or “people,” and the English word center. A common idiom for ethnocentrism is “tunnel vision.” In this context, ethnocentrism is the view that a particular ethnic group’s system of beliefs and values is morally superior to all others.

Positives and Negative Of Ethnocentrism:
Even though it sounds like ethnocentrism is bad, ethnocentrism has positive and negative qualities. For a minority group in oppressive conditions, ethnocentrism enables the group to create and sustain an identity over extended periods of time. The downside of ethnocentrism is that it causes a people from an ethnic group to look down on those who are from other ethnic groups. (https://www.interserveusa.org/the-problem-of-ethnocentrism/)

Pro’s And Con’s Of Ethnocentrism

Image result for pros

List of Pros of Ethnocentrism

  1. It drives individuals to have a strong national pride.

Good things can definitely come about when one loves their country or is proud of where they came from. A sense of national pride does help keep a nation united, which is what is needed especially in times of need. For example, love of country and the desire to uphold certain ideals drive men to serve in the army.
A passion for one’s country is what keep others going as well, especially if they’ve migrated to different country. They are not shy to let others know of the culture and tradition of their homeland. This kind of behavior is beneficial for others to understand the ways of those who grew up different from their own culture.

  1. It creates a feeling of belonging.

Not everyone one of us have the capability of being happy while living alone – most of us crave the company of others.
Although wanting the company of those who share your own beliefs and culture produces a wonderful feeling because you all understand each other, it also breeds negative effects. For instance, not mingling with people from different cultures or at least getting to know them will not open your eyes to how different people can be.

  1. It allows people to keep old traditions and practices alive.

We grow up following the traditions and practices of the culture we are a part of. However, this tends to fade away or get lost when different cultures are assimilated. For instance, a child from one culture brought up on going to church every Sunday may have different beliefs when they are exposed to other ideas. In a sense, this makes older members who still adhere to the old ways disappointed that the younger generation no longer appreciates their culture.
For some, not exposing young people to other ways may help preserve the old ways. While doing so may help, not allowing them to be part of something else will not broaden their perspectives.

Image result for cons

List of Cons of Ethnocentrism

  1. It drives us to make false assumptions regarding cultural differences.

As mentioned earlier, we are all ethnocentric. And this is made clearer when we use what is normal in our culture to make generalization about the customs and culture of other people. While we may make these generalizations without being aware that we are using our own culture as a gauge, doing so is way off base and leads us to misjudge other people. As such, ethnocentrism leads to cultural misinterpretation which may result in miscommunication between people.

  1. It creates consequences within our own society and with others.

Even if we are from the same culture, there will be some of us who are more privileged than others. Those who have always lived in comfort may not find it easy to see the difficulties being faced by others, especially the minorities and the disadvantaged. But one good way of understanding is to think about how you would react when a concern of yours isn’t recognized, no matter how simple it may be.
Not being able to understand also creates problems in international relations. Ethnocentrism leads to the creation of conflicts as well as hindering conflict resolution just because we failed to understand the other.
Believing in one’s superiority creates extreme forms of ethnocentrism that result in serious social problems. Racism is one of the bigger problems being faced today and despite it being condemned the world over, we still see and hear it happen.

  1. It can create a culture that is blinded by their own self-righteousness.

Trouble brews when people believe that their way is the only way. Having someone believe their views are totally or correct or morally superior is dangerous in itself; can you imagine what happens then if an entire population shares the same views?
Yes, ethnocentrism is considered a natural proclivity of human psychology is now a negative connotation. Making premature judgments of other people will always lead to misunderstandings. Our ethnocentric nature cannot be cured as it’s impossible for us to experience every life situation there is around the world. What we can do instead is be aware of our own biases and control them.
After ethnocentrism you move into the idea problems of group-think.

Image result for group-think

What is Group-think?

Groupthink, a term coined by social psychologist Irving Janis (1972), occurs when a group makes faulty decisions because group pressures lead to a deterioration of “mental efficiency, reality testing, and moral judgment” (p. 9). Groups affected by groupthink ignore alternatives and tend to take irrational actions that dehumanize other groups. A group is especially vulnerable to groupthink when its members are similar in background, when the group is insulated from outside opinions, and when there are no clear rules for decision making.

Image result for Symptoms Of Groupthink:

8 Symptoms Of Groupthink:

from The Little Book of Behavioral Investing by James Montier:

  • 1. An illusion of invulnerability: Members ignore danger, take extreme risk and are overly optimistic.
  • 2. Collective rationalization: Members discredit and explain away warning contrary to group thinking.
  • 3. Belief in inherent morality: Members discredit and explain away warning contrary to group thinking.
  • 4. Stereotyped views of out-groups: The group constructs negative stereotypes of rivals outside the group.
  • 5. Direct pressure on dissenters: Members pressure any in the group who expresses arguments against the group’s stereotypes, illusions, or commitments, viewing such opposition as disloyalty.
  • 6. Self-censorship: Members withhold their dissenting views and counter-arguments.
  • 7. Illusion of unanimity: Members perceive falsely that everyone agrees with the group’s decision; silence is seen as consent.
  • 8. “Mind guards” are appointed: Some members appoint themselves to the role of protecting the group from adverse information that might threaten group complacency.

Related image
Martha realized that while at work she could not criticize anything about the job or work related. She had to develop: the art of small talk, she realized that: no one was actual, no one was real, no one was honest. She was in a professional group-think environment, but it didn’t end there: so was being with family, so was being with friends, going to church, being in a relationship, group-think was all over the place. It was the actual stress about being with people, in the small things like not stepping out of line in conversation, respect your elders, following the rules and norms, be the person that others want you to be, and watching other do the same thing. She came to the realization that in the negative groups it’s terrible but in positive groups it’s vital so we conclude that in life no matter what group you belong to ”IT’S ALL GROUP-THINK”

Can You Actually, “Love Your Pain???”

Image result for Pain

Emotional Pain is something that we all go through but hate to acknowledge because there is something about it that is so visceral and unappealing that it is uncomfortable to bring it up in casual settings such as coffee dates or house parties. Pain is ugly, and it hurts and it has a way of making an otherwise happy person develop a bitterness so intense it rivals old people’s coffee.

Some pains are too overwhelming to feel all at once, so we find ourselves watching cheesy TV at three in the morning with bleary eyes and a vague sense of dread. And during the day, when we’re at work, or out with friends, or out for lunch, we’ll catch a murmur, a mention, a scent, and that dread will materialize into something concrete as it washes over us and we sink once again.

And so we hide our pain. We drown it in alcohol, we cloud it under puffs of smoke, we take shelter in the warmth of another in hopes that these temporary distractions will permanently rid us of the constant ache we feel. Or we hide ourselves. We cower under a blanket of anger, of excuses, of “I told you so” and “it’s all your fault,” because anything is better than facing the situation at hand.

We work until our bones creak and our brains tire and still we refuse to acknowledge our pain, chanting “I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine” until our faces turn blue and we run out of breath.

None of these ever really work; in fact they do everything but. To quote a tremendously over-quoted author, that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. And the more time we spend repressing it, the more time it has to multiply itself until it completely invades our brains and we end up doing something stupid like crying at the back of a Wendy’s. Not that I’m speaking from experience.

But the important thing is that we all try. We’re all trying and not all of us are going to get it right. That’s okay. It’s all a part of learning. Pain is a lump that takes root in the middle of our chests and uses up space in our throats. But in this life, the only way to get rid of it is to keep going. To keep pushing and stretching and growing to the point where the pain that once pulsed and coursed through our veins so vividly fades to a dull ache.

Once someone told me to let hurtful things hurt, and, aside from deleting every selfie I’ve ever taken in middle school, it was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.

(https://thoughtcatalog.com/hanna-lee/2015/12/you-have-to-learn-to-love-your-pain/)

You are upset—understandably upset—about a difficult situation or some aspect of yourself. You angrily question how unfair life is or why you don’t change. You fight the current situation, bringing on feelings of distress about your pain. This dilemma is so common that the Buddhists long ago reduced it to a formula: Pain x Resistance = Suffering. Translation: Fighting against (or resisting) the reality of the pain in your life creates suffering.

Image result for rejecting their emotions cartoon

One common form of resistance is people rejecting their emotions. For instance, a husband might resist feeling angry towards his wife, though the anger is genuinely there. So, he experiences an inner conflict about his anger—on top of continuing to feel angry.

It’s not unusual for people to be critical of their emotions when they think they are wrong for feeling a particular way. However, emotions can’t be wrong—they just are. Saying your emotions are wrong is like saying you were born with the wrong color hair. You might prefer to be a blonde (something you can change—at least temporarily—with a bottle), but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to be a brunette. Similarly, the husband feels angry, which is neither right nor wrong.

Another common form of resistance occurs when people are critical of inherent traits. For instance, I have treated a number of anxious introverts who struggle with not liking parties. They think there is something wrong with themselves for this (a judgment that is supported by Western culture). But, there is nothing inherently wrong with being introverted—it even has its benefits, such as sometimes being able to develop more intimate (though fewer) relationships.

Rather than resisting your pain, and so creating your own suffering, you would be wise to learn to accept your authentic self—your experience of who you really are and what you are really struggling with. In doing this, you can develop self-acceptance and self-compassion. For instance, when the introvert accepts her introversion, she can feel good about herself; whether or not she decides to work on developing more social interactions. She can also be compassionate to her own struggles with attending parties.

People who live authentically act in keeping with their inner experiences—such as their likes, dislikes, interests and values. They are happier in their relationships and achieve a greater sense of inner peace. You can experience this, too, by doing the following:

Image result for accepting your current reality.

Begin by accepting your current reality. Your situation is what it is. No amount of wishing for something different or rejecting the situation (or yourself) will change anything. However, by facing your problem, you can at least begin to address it.

Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Only by knowing your inner experiences can you be true to them. When they are painful, you can then at least find ways to comfort yourself and cope as effectively as possible with them.

Choose to be accepting and compassionate to your experiences. No one ever healed from a blow to the head by hitting themselves there again. The same can be said of emotional pain; that is, self-criticism about some difficulty won’t resolve that problem. In both cases, the way to heal and move beyond the hurt is to accept it and find ways to nurture the wound. More specifically with psychological pain, acceptance and compassion are essential to heal and to free yourself to nurture greater personal growth”(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/making-change/201310/accept-your-pain-it-will-hurt-less)

9 Ways to Learn to Love Your Pain

by
emptywentalward

Pain can become useful to you in new ways you have not considered.

You may scoff, but some people really do love their pain. I’m not referring to the masochistic pain kinky folk enjoy, such as being flogged until their skin is hot pink. I’m talking about people like you and me who have a lot of aches, breaks, and jagged lacerations on our body, mind and spirit on a regular basis. It may sound ridiculously impossible, but we have to stop hating our pain and learn to love it. These pains are part of who we are.
One of the best reasons to learn to love your pain is that if you don’t, it will kill you. Pain kills more people than cancer, heart attacks, and suicide combined. That is because pain kills people while they are still alive. It makes us want to curl up into little balls of howling, trembling, wild-eyed, hair-tearing pain-sufferers. We give up on life because of pain. It’s like a jailer, locking us up inside of our own personal little hells and throwing away the key. In that hell we bleed, cry, and plead for mercy—or even look for a shred of hope that someday, somehow, the pain will become bearable.
Loving pain is like loving your worst enemy. If you can love your worst enemy, then you have traveled the path of absolute kindness. This is a rocky, treacherous venture, this path of loving your pain. Most people don’t bother to even take a step in this direction; loving their pain is much too daunting. They’d rather dull themselves with endless sitcoms, tubs of ice cream, beer, or porn-a-thons.
Sometimes we feel pain-shame and hide our wounds from our loved ones. We try to appear brave and not burden others with our pain. This usually turns us into a pain in the ass. It’s often better to say up front: “I hurt now.” Then take the steps you need to alleviate the pain as best as possible. Distract. Self-soothe. Rest. Ask for help. Meditate. Medicate. Or simply sit in the pain and radically accept it, even if you are doing so with tears pouring down your cheeks.
This loving your pain practice will feel strange at first. We are taught from early childhood that pain is to be avoided at all costs. When pain arrives, the first thing we usually do is try to shoo it out the door by any means possible. We use painkillers (what a great name!) or booze, or retreat into sleep—anything to rid ourselves of this vitality-sucking beast. Pain-avoidance means we often also miss the many benefits pain has to offer.
♦◊♦

Related image

1. Realize Pain is Sensational. There are various kinds of pain and each feels different to each person. Pain isn’t always a physical sensation from a disability, injury, or disease. It can be emotional, spiritual, existential, or unexplain-able. In addition to that variety, we each also have cultural, familial, social and personal pains. To that, add the pain others inflict upon us, intentionally or not. Don’t forget the usual emotional pain-instigating suspects: Abandonment. Betrayal. Loss. Grief. Shame. Heartbreak. Injustice. If nothing else, pain will not bore us.
Image result for Praise pain as a community builder. cartoon
2. Praise pain as a community builder. It is the glue that holds many social and cultural groups together in solidarity. Pain is an equalizer, forcing people who may be from disparate parts of society to see eye-to-eye through their collective tears. Where would we be without our wound-mates, without our brothers and sisters in Kleenex? We’d be alone and still in pain. Instead of suffering in isolation and silence, now we can reach out and grasp the cyber, or real hand of another who can nod and sigh along with us.
3. Love pain as the proof of life. Our mothers endured the pain of childbirth to give us life, a life that would be, no doubt, filled with much more pain. Not only did our mother hurt as we were brought out of her body, but most of us are introduced to life with a painful smack on the ass, or some sort of other unceremonious gesture. Pain is a touchstone proving to us we are still alive, and because life is always changing, there is hope of less pain someday.
4. Appreciate pain as a compassionate teacher. Without experiencing our own pain, how could we be tolerant or compassionate towards others who are suffering? Without firsthand knowledge, we can’t offer sincerity and validation when a friend talks about their pain unless we, too, know the feeling of being ripped wide apart by sharp, shooting sensations that make us scream, whimper, or hide. When we hand over the box of tissues, or listen with an open heart, we are also letting a bit of another sufferer’s pain dissipate.
Image result for pain and value  cartoon
5. Recognize the value of pain. Without knowing pain, we’d not know the absence of pain, the sensation, which we call comfort, or balance, or stability—nor would we be able to appreciate those beautiful moments of ease. With the knowledge of pain we are more grateful for warmth, softness and each little kindness bestowed by oneself, or gifted to us by another.
6. Be aware pain is a catalyst for change. Pain gets our attention and is one of the few sensations which makes us angry enough to change our behaviors, our lives, or our minds. Pain is the flame honing steel to a harder, sharper point, and pain can hone us and our skills as well. While we are sobbing in agony, part of us is working on a way to stop, ease, or change the severity of the pain.
7. Appreciate pain for inspiring improvement and growth. When we feel our pain or see it in others, we then seek out better, smarter, faster, and more creative solutions to painful problems. We ask hard questions of ourselves and others and then design best practices or revolutionize new ideas, and find solutions to pain such as ergonomics, medical cannabis, biofeedback, or good nutrition. Our pain is (eventually) our gain.
Image result for Celebrate
8. Celebrate your new vulnerability. The experience of pain can make us softer, and in some cases, weaker, so we have no choice but to drop our heavy armor and let others see us in all our imperfect humanity. The first times we ask for help may feel like swallowing knives, but our pain has led us to that point where we are finally able to speak the truth about our needs and learn to trust in the goodwill of others.
9. Revel in your resilient status. Pain proves we are limitless. We may not have the power to eliminate our pain entirely, but we do have control over whether or not our pain dominates us, or whether it’s more of a tame horse, which we let out to pasture as needed. It may take many years of practice, but those of us who live with pain have the motivation to learn mindful meditation that has been proven to help drastically reduce pain. In our minds, we can be anything we want—even pain free.
The next time you feel pain, try to examine the experience from a different perspective. Allow pain to become useful to you in new ways, ways you had not considered before. It’s okay not to like our pain at all, but loving it makes it much more bearable.
Image result for free from pain
In Conclusion
Throughout life, most of us have learned that there is no way around pain, no matter how we try we will away be confronted with pain from: friends, family, love one’s, people we love, and life and our personal struggles. Also while in pain, we have tried many things as my blog fully noted, nothing worked. However here is one thing that we haven’t tried but I would like you to considered, Loving Your Pain, not just mind over matter and just working through your pains but actually love your pain, as you are learning to love your pain, enjoy the lessons you learn from your pain and it’s experiences. I know that’s a lot to ask, seeing that from birth we have learned to: cry about our pain, medicate out pain, endure our pain, fight the pain, and drown our pain and wake up the next morning confronted by the pain. So if you are down to the last hope, let this be that thing you try, that hopefully it brings you the comfort as I have experienced. Also while you are Loving your pain, takes some time to make your life a rewarding experience.

Dating and The Evolution And Revolution Of Online Dating, Part III

Image result for The Ugly Truth About Online Dating cartoon

The Ugly Truth About Online Dating

Are we sacrificing love, for convenience?
Browsing profiles isn’t nearly as time-consuming (or daunting) as mixing with people in a social context. Statistics suggest that about 1 in 5 relationships begin online nowadays. It’s estimated that by 2040, 70% of us will have met our significant other online.
The problem with a lot of online dating applications is that they don’t really work. Many are just ‘fad’ applications that squeeze money from punters with no intention of matching you with a suitable partner. Before you throw caution to the wind and empty your wallet into the pockets of an online app with the reckless abandon of a lovestruck teenager, there are a few things you should know.

1. People lie on their online dating profiles

Ok this is hardly an earth-shattering revelation. Well duh, people want to be appealing. Most people probably wouldn’t be surprised to learn that it’s more common for people to lie in their online profile than be completely honest.
A study of over 1,000 online daters in the US and UK conducted by global research agency Opinion Matters founds some very interesting statistics. A total of 53% of US participants admitted to having lied in their online dating profile. Women apparently lied more than men, with the most common dishonesties being about looks. Over 20% of women posted photos of their younger selves. But men were only marginally better. Their most common lies revolved around their financial situation, specifically, about having a better job (financially) than they actually do. More than 40% of men indicated that they did this, but the tactic was also employed by nearly a third of women.
While dishonesty was slightly less prevalent among the British sample, 44% did admit to lying in their online profile. In both the US and UK samples, dishonesty declined with age. Maybe older people are just more interested in projecting their real self, rather than an imagined or ideal version.

2. Looking for a relationship? That must mean all you want is sex

One of the big problems with online dating for women is that, although there are genuine relationship-seeking men on the sites, there are also plenty of guys on there simply looking for sex. While most people would agree that on average men are more eager for sex than women, it seems that many men make the assumption that if a woman has an online dating presence, she’s interested in sleeping with relative strangers. Online dating does represent the convenience of being able to meet others that you possibly never would have otherwise, but women should be aware that they probably will receive rude/disgusting messages from horny guys, sexual propositions/requests, dick-pics, and a lot of creepy vibes.

Image result for scam internet

3. Negotiating the scam-ternet

Let’s be honest, the internet is really just a super elaborate and sophisticated farce designed to distract you from having your pockets picked by greasy conmen in cheap suits, right? Not quite, but it is full of unscrupulous vendors looking to separate you from your money by whatever means possible (in other news, have you heard about the secret to getting killer abs in less than 7 minutes using this 1 weird trick…?).
Scams have been around as long as the internet (possibly even before…). Of course there are pitfalls and tripwires in every sphere of life, but this may be particularly true in the context of online dating. There are literally hundreds (if not thousands) of online scams, and I’m not going to run through any in detail here, but do some research before you go giving your bank details to ‘Nigerian princes’ promising ‘fun moments’. As a matter of fact, you should probably be wary of any person, group or entity asking for any kind of financial or personal information. It might even be advisable to follow these general guidelines:
Set up an anonymous email account from a widely used email service (I_heart_scamming123@gmail.com(link sends e-mail) is already taken)
article continues after advertisement
NEVER give out your home phone, address or your personal email address, unless you absolutely trust the recipient.
Drive yourself to the date (your date doesn’t need to know where you live), keep an eye on your drink/food (…), pay half of the bill (you don’t need your date having expectations of repayment)
Of course there are plenty more do’s and don’ts of online dating but I guess the most important thing here is to use your common sense. If something feels off, trust your gut. You don’t necessarily have to develop a ‘trust no-one and sleep with 1 eye open’ approach to online dating, but it is probably worthwhile having a healthy degree of skepticism in general.

4. Relationships don’t last

Never mind the fact that more than one-third of all people who use online dating sites have never actually gone on a date with someone they met online, those that somehow do manage to find someone else they are willing to marry AND who is willing to marry them (a vanishingly tiny subset of online daters) face an uphill battle. According to research conducted at Michigan State University, relationships that start out online are 28% more likely to break down in their first year, than relationships where the couples first met face-to-face. And it gets worse. Couples who met online are nearly 3 times as likely to get divorced as couples that met face-to-face.
However, it isn’t all misery and woe. While the overwhelming majority of romantic relationships still begin offline, around 5% of Americans that are currently in either a committed relationship or marriage, suggest that they did in fact meet their significant other online.

Image result for picky and judgemental people

5. It makes you picky and judgmental

It’s very easy to send one course back (or even one after another, after another, after another) when the menu is overflowing with other potential courses. The US Association of Psychological Science found that reviewing multiple candidates causes people to be more judgmental, and inclined to dismiss a not-quite-perfect candidate than they otherwise would be in a face-to-face meeting. (Ryan Anderson The Mating Game Posted Sep 06, 2016)

That was only the social problems it causes, let’s look at the other half, the criminal problems it causes!!!

Image result for Online dating problems

13 Annoying and Inconvenient Online Dating Problems By DANIELLE ANNE

Online dating is not a new concept, but it has evolved into something that offers more positive results, as opposed to its predecessors’ platforms. It used to be that there was a one-in-a-billion chance for success. Now, there’s actually one in a million, but only if the people who utilized it were open-minded and sincere.
At this point in time, thousands of people have hacked online dating and got themselves the love of a lifetime. Unfortunately, those people had to wade through thousands of failed attempts and sleazy pick-up lines in order to find their other halves.
Online dating may have increased your chances of success, but it also increases the number of failures you’ll need to go through. The silver lining, however, is that you can tip the scales in your favor. How? By knowing what to expect and how to prepare yourself for it.

The advantages of online dating
If you’re reluctant to try online dating, you should know that it’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Those who don’t understand its good points will label it as a desperate attempt to catch a date or a last resort before the biological clock strikes 12.
To this, I say an emphatic, “Hell no!”� Online dating, for me, is a godsend. Rather than end up with someone who’s not meant for you, online dating has given you the chance to weed out the people whom you’re least likely to be attracted to.
It’s not just about physical attraction either. You can converse with a possible date, and see if they’re the type of person you can actually connect with. Online messages and texts are not very reliable, but it’s better than not having an idea of what you’re in for in real life.
The best part about online dating is that you have an exit strategy as well. You can say goodbye at any time when you’re talking online. You can opt not to give out your address and personal information. Not having common friends is also an advantage because there’s no middle man to worry about.
And the best advantage of all is that you get a chance to meet the person of your dreams without having to scour every bar, pub, bookstore, coffee shop, library, and other possible singles-friendly areas. You can choose one person at a time from the comfort of your own home.

Related image

The most common problems of online dating
While there are a lot of advantages to online dating, there will be disadvantages as well. It is just as difficult as real-life dating, but with more options to spare. That is why you have to be ready for the problems that you will encounter, which are as follows:

Image result for Internet catfishing

#1 Catfishing. Catfishing happens when you start to talk to someone online, and they end up not being the person you’re expecting. A woman could end up being a guy, and vice versa. A person might end up being a site or advertising bot. They could even be someone who made up a different persona and showed you a different picture.
In order to prevent this from happening, look for the signs that tell you something’s fishy. Ask for a social media profile that has updates that span at least three years. If that doesn’t pan out, request a video call. [Read: Catfishing tactics and how catch them in the act]

#2 The bait and switch. It’s almost the same as Catfishing, but you’re actually talking to someone legitimate. The only problem is that they can make themselves seem more attractive than they really are by posting old pictures or omitting certain aspects of their job and personality.

#3 Stalkers. You never know if you’re dealing with one, so it’s best not to give out any sensitive information, unless you’re sure that the person you’re seeing is sane. Stalkers can range from slightly annoying to downright scary. Be careful who you talk to, and make sure that their social media profiles show that they engage in healthy conversations with their friends and families.

#4 The two-faced date. At first, they seem nice and charming, but things quickly change when you’re finally on the date. These types of dates can lure you with the pretense of a relationship, and then surprise you by asking for a hook-up or leaving you the morning after you sleep together. If you’re not into hook-ups, you should establish this before going home with them. [Read: 10 techniques guys use to get in your pants]

#5 Baggage. When a person has emotional baggage, it can be anything from an ex that just won’t go away or a personality disorder that has never been diagnosed. It’s easy to know who these people are because they have an air of negativity about them. They don’t seem enthusiastic about the date, and they are more likely to complain about their lives than enjoy their night out with you.

#6 The ones that got away. Chatting online is an amazing way to get to know a person, but there is a limit to how long that should go. These people have hundreds of other choices within the immediate vicinity. You should either lock them down for a date or at least give them your number. [Read: Why do nice guys suck at online dating?]

#7 The rejections. There will be many, especially if you’re socially inept at conversing with strangers online. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, there will be people out there who won’t like you, and that’s okay. That’s because there are just as many, or even more, who will think that you’re awesome. Just keep your head up, and don’t let those unanswered messages bother you.

#8 The clingy dates. These types of online daters are a bit too much for most people. They’re the type who fall for people on the first date, and they will do everything they can to turn it into a relationship. This is acceptable for some people, but not so much for online daters. It’s hard to trust people, and even more so if you only know each other online.

#9 The trolls. These people are just on the sites to make fun of people and embarrass them. When you encounter one of these, block them immediately, and refrain from further engagement, no matter how much you want to call them out. You never know what they’ll do to your photo if you step on the wrong toes.

#10 The bitter rejects. These are people who have had enough rejection in real life, and are now taking out their problems on the ones who reject them online. When they start harassing you, block them. You’re not only protecting yourself, but you are also helping them by saving them from further embarrassment.

#11 Scammers. There are criminals in the real world, and there are criminals online. Always be safe. Give your friends and family detailed information about your date, keep your GPS on, and always date someone who is easy to find. Never trust anyone implicitly on the first date, and always find out everything you can about them.

#12 Perverts. These people are more common than you think. They’re only there to look for people who are willing to engage in illicit, sexual deviance online. Or if not, they’re just there to harass you and use your picture for unmentionable purposes. Block and report these people, so they won’t get a chance to traumatize others. [Read: 14 important dos and don’ts of online dating]

#13 The sense of hopelessness. This one’s on you. Even without the rejections, you will encounter unsavory characters that will make you doubt why you tried online dating in the first place. Just remember that no matter how many bad dates you have, you have an opportunity to find twice as many good dates. Learn from those bad dates, so you can find a better prospect.
[Read: 30 effective tips to help you win at online dating]

In Conclusion:

Finding love has changed over the years from, courting to dating to eventually, online dating. Also the meeting place has gone from our homes in the family parlor, to public place meetings, to meeting online. Over time we learned that, no matter the meeting place we have the same issues, that is “The majority of the problems in dating revolve around the people that you encounter.” When looking at it through that perspective, we come to this conclusion, that dating in the real world has small differences from dating online. One major difference is that while online dating, you know a little bit about the person you are meeting, what you’re getting into before you go out, which is more than you can say for the strangers that you meet at the bar…Lastly remember: the same rules apply in any dating situation, watch yourself out there!!!

Image result for happy dating

Optical Illusions “Can You See, What I Can See? “

Image result for Epicharmus
Epicharmus

Optical illusions, one of mankind’s gifts to us, dates back to the 5th century B.C. It was a time of discovery where the surroundings where still viewed as a mystery, waiting to be solved. One mystery was of the unexplainable optical illusions that existed during that time. Epicharmus, a Greek philosopher, was the first one to provide an answer for it.

Epicharmus explained how our sensory organs are responsible for the deception, which caused people to see more than just an ordinary picture. Later, Protagoras, another Greek philosopher, drew his own conclusions, coming up with an entirely new reasoning on the matter. Protagoras blamed the environment for the distorted view and not the senses.
Aristotle’s View of the Different Theories
However, Aristotle was just as confused as everyone else, as he believed that both philosophers were right, but to a certain degree. He agreed with Protagoras’s assumption that people need to rely on their senses to receive a correct image of reality. Later, he added that people’s five senses could easily be fooled into believing something that wasn’t there.

Still, the concept of optical illusions wasn’t clear and the debate on them continued. Several different researchers and philosophers began to ponder over the answer to the mystery of optical illusions. One of the philosophers that became fascinated with optical illusion was Plato.

Plato, a Greek philosopher, said that the trickery and the reality of the optical illusions were due to both the mind and the senses. Since then, other notable personalities studied the mystery behind the optical illusion. They are:


Picture

Picture

1. Johannes Mueller and J.J. Oppel
Psychologists In the 19th century, Muller and Oppel performed various studies related to finding out of how people perceive optical illusions. They published several articles and wrote numerous books, which reignited people’s interest in optical illusions. Both of them proposed twelve theories, explaining the unexplainable phenomenon.

Image result for hermann von helmholtz phosphene drawings

2. Hermann von Helmholtz
German Physicist In the 19th century, Hermann von Helmholtz provided people with the concept of cognitive illusion. He was in agreement with Protagoras, as according to him, the assumptions people hold about their environment as a whole trigger cognitive illusion. For instance, the Café Wall illusion is an example of cognitive illusion.

Image result for W.E. Hill, Illustrator In 1915

Image result for hermann von helmholtz phosphene drawings

2. Hermann von Helmholtz
German Physicist In the 19th century, Hermann von Helmholtz provided people with the concept of cognitive illusion. He was in agreement with Protagoras, as according to him, the assumptions people hold about their environment as a whole trigger cognitive illusion. For instance, the Café Wall illusion is an example of cognitive illusion.

Image result for W.E. Hill, Illustrator In 1915

2. Hermann von Helmholtz
German Physicist In the 19th century, Hermann von Helmholtz provided people with the concept of cognitive illusion. He was in agreement with Protagoras, as according to him, the assumptions people hold about their environment as a whole trigger cognitive illusion. For instance, the Café Wall illusion is an example of cognitive illusion.

Image result for W.E. Hill, Illustrator In 1915


Psychologists In the 19th century, Muller and Oppel performed various studies related to finding out of how people perceive optical illusions. They published several articles and wrote numerous books, which reignited people’s interest in optical illusions. Both of them proposed twelve theories, explaining the unexplainable phenomenon.

Image result for hermann von helmholtz phosphene drawings

2. Hermann von Helmholtz
German Physicist In the 19th century, Hermann von Helmholtz provided people with the concept of cognitive illusion. He was in agreement with Protagoras, as according to him, the assumptions people hold about their environment as a whole trigger cognitive illusion. For instance, the Café Wall illusion is an example of cognitive illusion.

Image result for W.E. Hill, Illustrator In 1915

3. W.E. Hill, Illustrator In 1915
W.E. Hill developed a cartoon of a young and an old woman merged together. Some people saw an old woman whereas others saw a young woman. The explanation of how this optical illusion was created was due to individual perceptions of it.


W.E. Hill developed a cartoon of a young and an old woman merged together. Some people saw an old woman whereas others saw a young woman. The explanation of how this optical illusion was created was due to individual perceptions of it.

Image result for The Rise of Op Art
4. The Rise of Op Art
In the 60s, artists such as Vasarely and Bridget Riley developed an interest in Op Art, painting abstract images. They painted vibrations, hidden images, flashing, and other abstract patterns.

Optical illusions have an illustrious history that begun with the Greek philosophers and made a lasting impression on painters, psychologists, illustrators, researchers, and us.


In the 60s, artists such as Vasarely and Bridget Riley developed an interest in Op Art, painting abstract images. They painted vibrations, hidden images, flashing, and other abstract patterns.

Optical illusions have an illustrious history that begun with the Greek philosophers and made a lasting impression on painters, psychologists, illustrators, researchers, and us.

© opticalspy 2015
After learning that fantastic history “Here Are Seventeen Illusions: Have Fun:”

Click on any of the images below to begin your exploration of optical illusions.

Moiré

Are the pinwheels moving?

Light Bulb

Stare closely at this light bulb for 25 seconds. Then immediately stare at a white wall or sheet of paper. What do you see?

Moiré

Are the pinwheels moving?

Light Bulb

Stare closely at this light bulb for 25 seconds. Then immediately stare at a white wall or sheet of paper. What do you see?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

TeachIn this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?


The AnimalHow many animals do you see in the image?


The Box and the SphereKeep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?


Color BlindWhat number do you see in the circle?


Color IllusionHow many colors are present in the image?


GradientsWhich side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid IllusionCount all the black dots you can see


Horizontal LinesAre the horizontal lines sloping or straight?


Kanizsa TriangleHow many triangles are present in the image?


Muller-Lyer IllusionTake a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?


My Wife and My Mother-in-LawHow many figures can you see in the image below?


SnakesAre the circles moving in the image?


Zollner IllusionDo you think these lines are parallel?


Refraction IllusionAre both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Moiré

Are the pinwheels moving?

Light Bulb

Stare closely at this light bulb for 25 seconds. Then immediately stare at a white wall or sheet of paper. What do you see?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

TeachIn this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?


The AnimalHow many animals do you see in the image?


The Box and the SphereKeep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?


Color BlindWhat number do you see in the circle?


Color IllusionHow many colors are present in the image?


GradientsWhich side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid IllusionCount all the black dots you can see


Horizontal LinesAre the horizontal lines sloping or straight?


Kanizsa TriangleHow many triangles are present in the image?


Muller-Lyer IllusionTake a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?


My Wife and My Mother-in-LawHow many figures can you see in the image below?


SnakesAre the circles moving in the image?


Zollner IllusionDo you think these lines are parallel?


Refraction IllusionAre both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

TeachIn this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?


The AnimalHow many animals do you see in the image?


The Box and the SphereKeep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?


Color BlindWhat number do you see in the circle?


Color IllusionHow many colors are present in the image?


GradientsWhich side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid IllusionCount all the black dots you can see


Horizontal LinesAre the horizontal lines sloping or straight?


Kanizsa TriangleHow many triangles are present in the image?


Muller-Lyer IllusionTake a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?


My Wife and My Mother-in-LawHow many figures can you see in the image below?


SnakesAre the circles moving in the image?


Zollner IllusionDo you think these lines are parallel?


Refraction IllusionAre both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?


TeachIn this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?


The AnimalHow many animals do you see in the image?


The Box and the SphereKeep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?


Color BlindWhat number do you see in the circle?


Color IllusionHow many colors are present in the image?


GradientsWhich side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid IllusionCount all the black dots you can see


Horizontal LinesAre the horizontal lines sloping or straight?


Kanizsa TriangleHow many triangles are present in the image?


Muller-Lyer IllusionTake a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?


My Wife and My Mother-in-LawHow many figures can you see in the image below?


SnakesAre the circles moving in the image?


Zollner IllusionDo you think these lines are parallel?


Refraction IllusionAre both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Light Bulb

Stare closely at this light bulb for 25 seconds. Then immediately stare at a white wall or sheet of paper. What do you see?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Moiré

Are the pinwheels moving?

Light Bulb

Stare closely at this light bulb for 25 seconds. Then immediately stare at a white wall or sheet of paper. What do you see?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Light Bulb

Stare closely at this light bulb for 25 seconds. Then immediately stare at a white wall or sheet of paper. What do you see?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Elephant Legs

How many legs do I have?

Teach

In this illusion you can see the word Teach and its reflection. Can you read the reflection too? What does it say?

The Animal

How many animals do you see in the image?

The Box and the Sphere

Keep your eyes on the dot. Is it in the front or in the back of the cube?

Color Blind

What number do you see in the circle?

Color Illusion

How many colors are present in the image?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

Gradients

Which side of inset bar is darker?

Hermann Grid Illusion

Count all the black dots you can see

Horizontal Lines

Are the horizontal lines sloping or straight?

Kanizsa Triangle

How many triangles are present in the image?

Muller-Lyer Illusion

Take a very close look at the 2 vertical lines. Do you think one line is longer than the other?

My Wife and My Mother-in-Law

How many figures can you see in the image below?

Snakes

Are the circles moving in the image?

Zollner Illusion

Do you think these lines are parallel?

Refraction Illusion

Are both arrows pointing the same direction on the paper behind the glass?

A Hope and Dream: A Day Without Trump

A Poem:

Image result for trump in the news
Trump is the News in our day and out night
Bring all of his, words of destruction, division, pain, and strife. He believes that he can’t appear weak, but our love and approval in his followers is what he seeks.

Image result for trumps life is shambles

His life is in shambles, his marriage is a joke, he cheats, lies, and bullies worse than regular folks. So a day without TRUMP can this be I plea, a vacation from his tweets I will I know you’ll agree.

Image result for no.no.no

No tariffs, no porn stars, no worry, of foolish words, no cover up, no re-tracks, no statement that’s absurd. He is such a pain in the Americans day, and misery when we wake, his terrible statements embarrassed us hourly, for goodness sake.

Image result for a group praying
So please make this a true holiday, and turn it from fantasy to true, We truly need it, we pray God, and beg of you!!!