Dating and The Evolution And Revolution Of Online Dating, Part II

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Dating  has evolved from courting and being against the law, for conspiracy to do prostitution, to today the ruff and tumble “Online Dating!!!”

The History of Online Dating From 1695 to Now

Before they went mainstream, personals were a way for same-sex couples to discreetly connect.

Has the Internet really revolutionized dating? Or is hijacking tech for love and sex just what humans do?

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Hardly a week goes by without another new think piece about online dating either revolutionizing society or completely ruining our ability to have real relationships. But these hyperbolic pronouncements miss a deeper fact:

At its core, “online dating” isn’t something we just started doing 5, 10 or even 20 years ago. Before the Internet, there were personal ads, and before that, lonely shepherds carved detailed works of art into tree bark to communicate their longing for human contact.

Since the earliest days of mass media and technology, people have been finding ways to broadcast their desires and find connections that might have otherwise eluded them. I mean, one could argue that even Voyager 1’s Golden Record is kind of a massive, interstellar personal ad (complete with the recorded sound of a kiss!) out to the universe. It’s as if humanity decided to document all our best features and send them into space with this message:

Lonely humans seek extraterrestrial life forms in Milky Way or nearby. Open to all body types.

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The modern newspaper was invented in 1690, and the first personals followed soon after. So dating apps are really the latest manifestation of human beings doing what we’ve always done — create new tools to communicate and then turn around and use those tools to find love, sex and companionship.

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1695: The First Personal Ads

According to history professor H.G. Cocks (seriously —The Best Name Ever for an academic) personal ads began as a way to help British bachelors find eligible wives. One of the earliest personals ever placed was by a 30-year-old man, with “a very good estate’, announcing he was in search of ‘some good young gentlewoman that has a fortune of £3,000 or thereabouts.” (£3,000 is equivalent to roughly £300,000 today. #ShamelesslySeekingSugarMomma…)

1700s: Personal Ads for Homosexual Safety

Personal ads were one of the only ways for the gay and lesbian communities to meet discreetly and safely at this time. Less-Than-Fun fact: homosexuality was outlawed and punishable by death in the UK by wife-murderer Henry VIII and continued to be illegal until 1967. During this time, gathering sites for gay men known as Molly Houses were subject to regular raids by law enforcement. (Meanwhile in the future U.S.A., anyone accused of being a “sodomite” doing “buggery” was also legally sentenced to death as of 1776.) Coded words, female names and other signals in personals were channels to privately expressing vulnerability and find companionship that society forbade.

1727: Women Get Smacked Down for Expressing Personal Desire

In 1727, Englishwoman Helen Morrison became the first woman to place an ad in a Lonely Hearts column. She convinced the editor of the Manchester Weekly Journal to place a small ad stating she was “seeking someone nice to spend her life with.” (It’s radical, I know…..)

A man responded to Helen, but it was not the man she was hoping for. It was the mayor, who had her committed to an insane asylum for four weeks.

Women asking for what they want — clearly delusional to 18th century dudes.

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1800s: Aristocrats Catch On

Always on the lookout for ways to exploit media for their own ends, aristocrats in the 1800s used personal ads to broadcast their interest in romantic engagements that seem scandalous by today’s standards. An 1841 ad in the Journal of Munich tells of a 70-year-old Baron seeking a woman “between 16 and 20 having good teeth and little feet.”

(Well… maybe not that much has changed for the one percent? )

Mid 1800s: The General Public Follows

In the mid-19th century, the need to advertise for a husband or wife was still considered a “failure” and associated with deviant behavior for many judgmental straight, white, middle-to-upper class people. But as magazines and periodicals such as The Wedding Bell in the US and The Correspondent, Matrimonial Herald and Marriage Gazette in the UK hit the newsstands with immense popularity, matchmaking and personals took off as well, creating the first wave of true mainstream normalization for the personal ad.

Late 1800s: The Scam Emerges

You know, someone’s always gotta ruin the party. The popularity of personals paved the way for grifters who soon realized that they could prey on the vulnerability of people seeking love. Scam artists caused a scandal that many newspapers ran with, and personals disappeared practically overnight as public attitudes became more cautious. Phishing, fake profiles, and ads for escorts continue this tradition today.

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Early 1900s: The Lonely Rural Farmers, Ranchers and Shepherds

Around the turn of the last century, personal ads enjoyed a renaissance of popularity, especially in the Western US with low populations and the harsh realities of rural life without a partner. (Farmers Only continues the legacy to find “where all the country girls are” today.)

Some very pragmatic examples of early 20th century personals:

HOUSEKEEPER: 18 to 30 years of age, wanted by widower, 40. Have prominent position with the rail company, have 75-acre ranch also house in town; object matrimony if suited; have boy 13 years old, would not object to housekeeper having child. Can give best references.

Young woman, reared in luxury, having lost everything and earned her living for the past eight years, is tired of teaching and wishes a home: would like to meet a well-to-do businessman who would appreciate refinement and affection in a wife. Object: matrimony.

If only these two had found each other’s personals then…..

1920s: Lonely WWI Soldiers Seek Pen Pals

Personal ads went mainstream again in the early 20th century, when social pressures to get married by 21 (and thus, expectations for relationships) were much lower, thankfully than their earlier incarnations. Many of the postings were simply calls for friends or pen pals. These kinds of ads were especially fashionable among lonely soldiers during World War I.

1960s: Counterculture and Computer Love

Removed from the context of wartime, old stigmas crept back in. Like the Internet today, lonely hearts ads were suspected of harboring all sort of scams and perversities. Because they were often used by homosexuals and sex workers, British police continued to prosecute those who placed personals until the late 1960s, when ads became part of the burgeoning youth counterculture.

Meanwhile, a new technology was emerging. In 1965, a team of Harvard undergrads created Operation Match, the world’s first computer dating service. For $3, users could answer questionnaires and receive a list of potential matches, a process that is still used by many dating sites.

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1990s-2000s: Second Wave of Mainstream

The explosion of the Internet in the mid-to-late 1990s created a new context for personals, and by the end of the decade, they had become relatively acceptable. Even before the Web itself, bulletin boards and newsgroups hosted a variety of ways people could use technology to meet others with similar interests, including dating. Services such as America Online, Prodigy and eventually Craigslist offered chat rooms, forums and online classifieds of use to singles. By the time Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan AOL’d each other in You’ve Got Mail, it had become clear that the Internet was going to change every aspect of our lives forever — including love and romance. was founded in 1995, and by 2007, online dating had become the second highest online industry for paid content. (….Can you guess what’s #1?)

2010 – Today

By 2010, different dating sites existed for virtually every city, sexual orientation, religion, race and almost every hobby, making it easier to find exactly what we’re looking for and harder to stumble on someone who exists outside our pre-defined bubbles of identity.

In 2002, Wired Magazine predicted, “Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love won’t look for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because ‘the right books are found only by accident.’”

Online dating is the new norm for introductions, replacing the role of traditional personals and in many cases, merging with the functions of social media. If we are going to improve the way people meet one another, we’re going to have to do so by questioning the existing paradigms of online dating and figuring out how to do it better.

One thing is certain: the tenacity with which human beings will seek each other out with any tool available is inspiring. Ultimately, we use the technology of online dating because we crave connection and that desire alone timeless and connects us always.((By Susie Lee)

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Since the inception of Online dating we have had problem with it but nothing like the problems we have today.  Today with the popularity of the internet, cell phones, Facebook and Twitter, Online dating, took off because a couple of factor: The skyrocketing population of single adults in the new millennium: “cited a market forecast that suggested 50 per cent of the adult population would be single by 2000 (a 2008 poll found 48 percent of American adults were single, compared to 28 per cent in 1960)” they were single and looking!!!  Also The people of Dating age moved to the social media on the internet, “[2013], 81 percent of Internet-using teenagers in America reported that they are active on social-networking sites, more than ever before. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and new dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, and Blendr have increasingly become key players in social interactions, both online and IRL (in real life).” Lastly dating internet companies, started getting ridiculously rich, “OKCupid is a newer service (founded in 2004). The math major entrepreneurs sold the firm to IAC/InterActiveCorp, a media conglomerate which also owns Match and Tinder, for $50 million. Like Match, OKCupid relies on questionnaires, calculating the number of matched answers in order to offer date choices, including a specific focus on the user’s interest in casual sex. Witt, who wrote an in-depth article on her experiences for the London Review of Books,.”  Online dating is a 21st century is a hit.  

But with any growth so quickly, you know that there will be problems. One of the major problems became, the non physical interactions issue, contact to other human is very normal to mammals. Moreover, the human species, has a daily need for human physical touch to grow health and interact properly in society.  However with the advent of internet dating, this can be problematic, because it is a very impersonal invention and a touch free environment, in which personal and intimate information is passed back and forth. Because of distance, Online dating inhibits our need to touch and be touched, which might cause other intimacy issues in the future.   Continue To Part III     


Famous People That may have never existed:

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I came across this article while looking for things that would be interesting for my blog, This Article is called Famous People That may have never existed. So read and enjoy or really be shocked.

Famous People That may have never existed:
In our present age of ubiquitous information, it’s easy to search for the biography of a celebrity or politician, since history is better preserved now than ever before. Alas, it was not always this way. The facts about many historical figures weren’t written down until years — sometimes decades or even centuries — after they allegedly lived. Given this amount of time, the evidence of the individual’s existence itself may have completely deteriorated, aside from the stories themselves. Here are some famous people whose names you will recognize but who may never have existed at all, at least in their popular form.

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Disney introduced movie buffs to the legend of Mulan, though she was already a big deal in Chinese literature. The tale of a warrior’s daughter dressing as a man and fighting in her ailing father’s place is a timeless bit of badassery and girl power, and it’s commonly accepted that Mulan was a real person who actually did all these things. But the evidence is scarce to say the least.
The book Chinese Shadow Theatre: History, Popular Religion, and Women Warriors mentions Mulan might’ve been a made-up figure, based in part on Wei Huahu, an actual female warrior from ancient China. It’s unknown, however, if Huahu ever fought in men’s clothing. As for Mulan herself, the earliest known reference to Mushu’s big buddy was in an ancient ballad appropriately titled “The Battle of Mulan.” But the song doesn’t specify when she lived, gives few details of the actual battles she fought, and didn’t give a full name for her outside of “Mulan.” It’s that kind of vagueness that makes you go hmmmm.
Then there’s a text called Lienü zhuan translated as Exemplary Women of Early China, written by Liu Xiang around 18 BC, and packed with over 120 biographies of famous women from ancient China. Mulan, despite supposedly being a major deal, has no biography. Granted, she supposedly lived several hundred years after Xiang first published his book, but there’s a section at the end for “supplemental biographies.” No one has ever added Mulan, even though what she did was quite exemplary

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William Shakespeare:
Surely the great William Shakespeare was real, right? He has writings — lots of them — and we have portraits of the man. How could that equal a phony? Amazingly, quite easily; many people are convinced “William Shakespeare” was a pen name, and whoever wrote those stories might be lost to history.
As recapped by PBS, there was a guy named William Shakespeare, but we know little about him. We don’t know where he learned to write, how he learned so much about law, politics, and history, and his will mentioned no plays or sonnets, which you’d think would be foremost on his mind. It sounds like the real Shakespeare didn’t write much more than a grocery list. If true, we’re unsure about who the “real” Shakespeare is. Plenty of candidates have emerged over the years, like Francis Bacon, Ben Johnson, and Christopher Marlowe, but these possibilities haven’t stuck.
There’s another legitimate possibility in the obscure Earl of Oxford, Edward de Vere. According to J. Thomas Looney, a schoolteacher who uncovered a great deal about the man, Vere wrote poetry that reads much like what the Bard wrote. According to this theory, Vere used an assumed name because, as nobility, he didn’t want to be associated with a low-brow art like playwriting. Then, when he died, his followers published his plays under the pen name of some random commoner named William Shakespeare, who died years back. That’s good, because most aspiring writers would much rather be called “Shakespeare” than “Vere.”

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Robin Hood:
The legendary English folk hero Robin Hood is well-known for robbing from the rich and giving to the poor, residing in Sherwood Forest with his gang of outlaws, and wooing Maid Marian. The stories are certainly fictitious, but was Robin Hood a real person or simply based on one? It’s impossible to say if any one individual inspired the legend’s creation. The stories are either totally invented, or are a combination of elements taken from different historical sources.
Identifying a single person as the basis for the famous outlaw becomes even more difficult given that, as the stories began to grow in popularity in the 13th and 14th centuries, random English outlaws began to call themselves Robin Hood. Nevertheless, some historians speculate that Robin Hood was based, in part anyway, on nobleman Fulk FitzWarin, who rebelled against King John (one of Robin Hood’s foes). FitzWarin’s life was later turned into its own medieval tale, Fouke le Fitz Waryn, which holds some similarities to the Robin Hood stories. If he was the basis, then a name change was a good decision. The name Fulk FitzWarin doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of villains.

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To quote Confucius: “If names be not correct, language is not in accordance with the truth of things. If language be not in accordance with the truth of things, affairs cannot be carried on to success.” That’s deep … and deeply problematic. Research suggests that dishonest children become successful adults and that highly successful adults lie. That’s a whole lot of wrong there, Confucius.
Of course, if Confucius never existed, then the quote’s been misattributed, meaning the words can’t accord with the truth. Thus, in being wrong, the quote would be right, which sounds super wrong. And the Confucian confusion doesn’t end there. Experts believe he was born in Lu, China, and created the Ru School of Chinese thought. But depending on which document you read, Confucius comes off as an unflinching idealist, an ambitious politician, or a fifth-century B.C. superhero. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy cautioned that even The Analects, academia’s go-to resource for info on Confucius, suffers from striking inconsistencies and improbabilities.
Confucius’s whole shtick was setting guidelines for righteous living, but historians debate his basic precepts. In The Human Record: To 1700, Alfred Andrea and James Hoverfield discussed filial piety (respect for elders and ancestors), a principle often regarded as Confucianism’s core. According to the authors, it wasn’t really a big deal to him. In fact, many claims attributed to Confucius are arguably apocryphal. Fittingly, the guy described as China’s Socrates raises more questions than he answers.

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William Tell
is a Swiss folk hero best known for child endangerment. Tell allegedly lived in Switzerland during the early 14th century, when the Hapsburg dynasty of Austria ruled the land. As the story goes, an Austrian official placed a hat on a pole in city of Altdorf and commanded every Swiss subject to remove their caps as they passed by it. One day, Tell, a local peasant who was accompanied by his son, refused to do so. In response, the Austrians forced Tell to shoot an apple off his son’s head at 120 paces or face execution. Tell loaded his crossbow and skillfully shot the apple. He then went on to lead a small revolt against the Austrians — presumably after buying his son some new pants.
Tell is essentially the Swiss version of Robin Hood and, much like the outlaw of Sherwood Forest, he probably never existed. The apple story is extremely similar to a Viking folktale, which most likely was imported to Switzerland at some point and used by Swiss patriots as a rallying cry against their Austrian rulers.

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Sybil Ludington
is remembered for having been forgotten, an unsung heroine from the Revolutionary War eclipsed by a lesser contemporary. Known by many as the female Paul Revere, Ludington legendarily rode 40 miles alone in the rain over difficult terrain to warn Connecticut Yankees that the British were coming for more than crumpets. At just 16 years old, she braved the dangers of tea-swilling troops and lurking lawbreakers, sounding the alarm in Putnam County, Mahopac, and Stormville. And it was 1777, so there was no 7-Eleven to save her from a snack attack.
According to that account, history should laud Ludington more than it reveres Revere because she traveled double the distance he did under dismal conditions. But tell that to history and it might call you a filthy liar due to lack of reliable sources. As per Smithsonian Magazine, the first mention of Ludington’s ride didn’t appear until 1880, more than a century after it supposedly happened. Not one previous account of women in the Revolutionary War or record from a place Ludington reportedly warned references her heroics. That’s no small oversight, considering that women of the age (understandably) wanted to vaunt their own contributions to American independence.
Nowadays Ludington’s face features on stamps and in coloring books. She has become a mascot for feminists and anti-Communists as well as a bogey-woman for certain political factions. She’s as real or fake as people need her to be to make a point, much like history itself.

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is the Greek poet who wrote two of the books that your English teacher forced you to read in high school — the mythological epics The Iliad and The Odyssey. Despite the popularity and importance of these epics, their author remains shrouded in mystery. For one thing, Homer almost certainly wasn’t the originator of these tales, which likely preceded him by about 1,000 years. He was simply the first to write them down. As for the poet himself, some say Homer was blind, while at least one author argues that Homer was actually a woman.
Some historians believe that Homer was not a single person, but rather a group of Greek scholars. In the end, we will probably never know the answer, but the legacy of Homer’s works will continue, both in the nuclear plant and beyond.

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King Arthur:

Unless you’ve been living under a rock — a heavy one — you’re probably familiar with the Arthurian legend. Even if you haven’t read the stories, you likely saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail at least once in college, or maybe you heard the bad reviews about the 2017 King Arthur movie, pictured above. In any case, the British king is said to have claimed the sword, Excalibur, from the Lady of the Lake and found the aforementioned Cup of Christ. These fantastical stories are clearly a mishmash of folklore, but was the Arthur of legend based on a real man? The first tales of Arthur appeared in the ninth century and chronicle his battle against the invading Saxon armies, so it’s likely that the individuals — if they existed — who served as the basis for Arthur lived sometime before then.
Some historians suggest the Roman military commander Lucius Artorius Castus as a possible candidate. The King Arthur movie from 2004, starring Clive Owen, follows this line of reasoning and depicts him as a Roman soldier. Others suggest Riothamus, king of the Britons during the fifth century. In any case, we’re reasonably confident that the historical Arthur — whoever he was — didn’t have easy access to two hollowed-out coconuts.
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In Conclusion:
Like “Murphy’s Law” when someone say a quote and say “Murphy’s Law,” no one ever ask “who the heck is Murphy?” For centuries no one questioned any of these individual and their stories, So for centuries the stories go on and without question, the personalities and the myth got bigger and bigger. Until someone asked a question, maybe they needed the answer for a paper? Maybe the person or the lineage of the person was in question? Then while researching they came to the conclusion; “Maybe This Person Never Existed.”
So many Myths and Stories like this are verified and proven wrong in history, However this is very different because the individuals involved like, Most of these individual are a part of the tapestry of many countries and idea of how they see: hero’s, wisdom, love and romance. Moreover, a part of country’s history and daily school curriculum. Making theses individual non-existence a travesty and very disappointing. Hopefully it was inadvertently and unintentional.

A Students Remedy, On School Shootings

A Poem:

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A gunshot is heard on this particular day, “get down, turn out the lights, move into the classroom,” The guard, would say.

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It’s a live shooter, he’s not in our sight, we have to be very quiet and motionless with all our might.

They moved through rooms with a methodical persision and loud shots, pain, and blood, filled our thoughts vision. Is it a He or she shooter? feeling the same fear, why our school this day, it’s the end of the year.

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Where is the guards, God, parents, or the Army? someone should be here don’t they hear the alarming? These people with guns which are students with trench coats, assault weapons, and clips, to harm me.

They met with the President, walked out of class, and meetings in DC, and said it was a rally and a demonstration all for me, but the problem is not about walkouts, parade, or not a crowd with thousands of signed, just a statement, students should not carry guns to school, should be in the front of our minds.

Dating and The Evolution And Revolution Of Online Dating, Part I

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Being single in America is a very uncomfortable circumstance, because we are taught, from a young age,  that we are not happy or complete, without someone in our lives.  We hear friends say, “ that they need someone: to be with, when you go somewhere, when they stay out late or get home late,  for protection when bad things happen.   We hear the same thing, all the time from the radio in love songs, watch TV in every commercial, or movies, where they are always heroes and damsels in distress. Constantly singles are dumb-bared with signs and neon lights, advertising, showing, and promoting relationships, partnership, dating, and or marriage, with a side order of coupling. You can’t go anywhere without see some form of relational interactions. Moreover showing “PDAs” (public displays of affection) acting like singleness is a disease that can be cured by being caught in the chaos of what we refer to as relational bliss. That starts with the pathway we call “Dating.”

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Dating In America    

In (most places in) North America, a date consists of intention, like art.

If your intention is to get to know the other person for a possible romantic partnership, you’re on a date. The act of getting to know one another is called dating. Now, there’s hooking up, friends with benefits, casual dating, and all manner of other things. Yet none of these are “dating”. There’s no courtship, there’s zero determining if you’re compatible romantically or long term. You’re just bumping the naughty bits, and that’s why we North Americans have so many, varied terms for what is essentially a no strings attached sexual relationship.

There’s a ridiculous amount of social pressure in North America to have sex, for men to have “more” partners, and for women to detach emotionally and make it “okay”. Almost everyone I met in Europe in their mid 20s to 30s had had one, maybe two, very long term partnerships, and perhaps one casual, one night stand.


Where did dating come from?  Has this act of meeting people, always been called dating? “The ten thing you might not know about dating.” will answer that and more.

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Ten Things You Might Not Know About Dating:


According to Weigel, “date,” in the context of relationships, reaches back to 1896. It was first used in a newspaper column in which a young man laments that his girlfriend is seeing other people—that they are “fillin’ all my dates,” as in “the dates on her calendar.”



At the turn of last century, dating was still a new concept and law enforcement wasn’t sure what to make of it—but they were sure something sordid was going on. A young man and woman meeting in public, him buying her food, drink, and gifts: well, it was veritable prostitution in the eyes of authorities, and women could be arrested for it.



Ironically, a man and a woman meeting in public was the best way to have some privacy. Before dating, courtship involved suitors calling on prospective partners in the family home. And since McMansions were not yet a thing, it meant the parlor or kitchen, where there were always eyes and ears close by.

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Before dating came into the picture, “courtship” and “calling” were conducted with the express goal of marriage. It was a family affair, as callers meant heirs, property, and happiness. The newly established dating industry, however, had other goals in mind. Marriage would hurt business. “For the first time in human history,” writes Weigel, “dating made it necessary to buy things in order to get face time with a prospective partner. This remains true today.”



Whereas before, the compatibility of prospective couples was determined by land, status, and wealth, with the onset of industrialization and the rise of the middle class, consumer goods became a go-to method for determining compatibility with a potential partner (e.g., comparing phones or favorite albums.) “Taste” would become a central element of courtship, and is still used to telegraph status today, however subtly.



Department stores brought those of humble means into contact with those of wealth. The shopgirl selling fashion learned to imitate her buyers, and labels would come along that could let anyone look rich. “Driven by anxiety, as well as romantic ambition,” writes Weigel, “the shopgirl drove a kind of arms race. The more effectively she sold fashion and beauty culture to her clients, the more mandatory participation in that culture became. It was just what the economy needed.”

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Before the 1900s, the only women who wore “painted faces” were actresses and prostitutes. (Previously, a natural look, it was said, demonstrated “clean living.”) To make their product mainstream, the cosmetics industry renamed their goods “makeup,” with the lofty, admirable goal of “making oneself up” to express femininity.



Societal mores before the 20th century weren’t so rigid as you might think. According to Weigel, “In the United States, a long tradition gave courting couples tacit permission to engage in sexual behavior so long as they stopped short of intercourse.” Young couples could sleep in the same bed, provided they were each “tarried,” or sewn into cloth sacks. “Benjamin Franklin reminisces about how the parents of his first marriage prospect encouraged him to fool around with their daughter. They would invite him over and leave the two of them in the parlor alone. Versions of this wink-winking permissiveness toward serious couples persisted up through the Calling Era.”



With the rise of Marxism and feminism in the 1800s came the belief by some activists that marriage was itself “sexual slavery.” Victoria Woodhull, the first woman to run for president of the United States, described herself as a “free lover” with the inalienable right to love whomever she chose, whenever she chose, for however long she chose, “and with that right,” she said, “neither you nor any law you can frame have any right to interfere.”

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Warnings of the so-called “biological clock” first appeared in the 1970s and quickly gained traction as a major source of anxiety for women in the workforce and an impediment to career advancement. (A direct sexism came with this; the male biological clock was ignored completely, giving men all the time in the world to “play the field.”) But heavily quoted “clock” statistics were tragically flawed, drawn from French birth records from 1670 to 1830. As one journalist explained, “millions of women are being told when to get pregnant based on statistics from a time before electricity, antibiotics, or fertility treatment.” (BY DAVID W BROWN APRIL 27, 2016)  Continue to Part II     

Do You Want To Be A DJ, A Weekly Series Week 10 “How to pick yourself up after pretty much the worst gig ever?”


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DJing is awesome, fun, and a great industry, but must of all it’s entertainment and customer service.  You are here or there to entertaining customers, and because you are there for the customer, the customer might not always be right, but if you don’t have a check in your pocket.


“The customer is the one that pays you,” and all customers have friends which can be future customers.   So maintain a certain level of respect and integrity for the money, future prospects, or because you want to grow your business well.  There’s also a adage, for people that might have sour grapes, and empty pocket that say “you can’t please everybody, all the time,” but as a DJ, that’s actually your job, “You are in the people pleasing business”  and if you don’t please people with your music selections, your personality, and your enthusiasm, you will have bad gig’s, earn a bad reputation, and develop some empty pockets. So remember and maintain your customer service and always have in the back of your mind, “who’s paying you.”  


Now let’s talk about the bad part of customer service, so with all customer service jobs or companies.  No matter how customer service minded you are, nice you are, good you are, how well you play, how vast your catalogue, and deep your skills, it’s inevitable you will encounter someone or something that will cause you to have a “Bad GIG,” and it might not be your fault. It could be a number of thing, and after all the fallout, to maintain your business, you have to, dust yourself off, pick yourself up, get back into the DJ seat and “Play that Funky Music.”  In this blog I will prepare your for that day or time when things, people, or music selection, just don’t go right.   Here is a time when that exact thing happened:  
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Shay.Sekler 8:04 AM – 16 March, 2014

hey there,I just have to let off steam.

I played at a private event last Friday and it sucked so bad.

The planners didn’t give me any tips on what kind of music to play,so the first hour I was just testing off some things.I got to know the crowd and understood what they wanted to hear and gave them exactly that.the planners (five people) were on my back for every song-this one was too hardcore for this crowd (they were mostly over their 40’s),this song is old,we hate this song so much,why are you not playing hits?play some Rihanna,don’t play stuff like Britney Spears and Rihanna-we don’t like that kind of stuff!

I was frustrated.needles to say-I wasn’t my regular ‘happy dancing around’ DJ that night.

When people started to leave,I started playing from a USB stick they gave me filled with old school Cuban tunes (Reggaeton and stuff like that)-the planners asked for it and in situations like that I won’t say no.

first Cuban song went the second one,one of the guests started screaming at me because ‘She paid for a good DJ and not someone who plays Cuban music’.she was on and on about how she hates me and stuff-and I just blocked out and kept doing my thing.then-one of her friends (to whom she went over to complain about my ‘not giving any F’s’ policy) throw a plastic cup at me.

the song that was playing ended,I took my equipment and went out.

It’s the first time I get a reaction like that from people.I’m shocked.I don’t know if I suck so bad or they were just drunken savages but it still really brought me down.

Did you ever had a nightmare of a gig?what happened? and most importantly-how did you pick yourself up from that and stayed positive?

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Code:E 8:12 AM – 16 March, 2014

Dude doesn’t sound like your a bad DJ. Some gigs are just shit and some planners make it worse by not letting you do your job. which was to feel the crowd out.


But once I read you had anything thrown at you. I would have stopped the music mid track picked up my payment then leave.


Just put some time into your music library, go over your history. You are your own worst critic. You will find stuff and think that was a bad choice now with the advantage of hindsight.


Learn from any programming mistakes you think you made. Spend some time building some more create’s of awesome tracks and just kill it at your next gig.


There’s no other way I know of to shake a feeling like that… That’s also why I don’t take any criticism well I’m DJing from ANYONE, whether they are paying me or not. If it was really that bad they will remember it and can tell me after. Getting thrown out of the groove well playing can take a bad night to the worse night you ever played in a hurry.

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Shay.Sekler 10:00 AM – 16 March, 2014

oh,I got paid for that night-and I’m gonna have so much fun spending that money 🙂

I just never thought a gig can go so wrong.

I mean,people were dancing-and still the planners and those two guest were on my face screaming about how bad I was…

I hope I’ll never play to that kind of a crowd again. :/ (


This is a tragic DJ story, about a frustrated individual telling how misinformation destroying his gig and a private party. He tell moment by moment of excruciating anguish he felt while playing music at this party, which he detailed the cause as the host which did not properly inform him  about: music, climate, culture, and individual guest he would encounter at the party.  He was so frustrated that he packed up and left the Party, beaten and humiliated.  So hurt that he was drawn to comment on a website where he got some useful information from a fellow DJ, that  empathically understood his frustration. Here are some additional tip, if you are ever down and out as a DJ.  

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3 Tips To Get Back On Track

1. Gather feedback from people you value

If you’ve had a particularly bad evening, chances are at least one (usually inebriated) person has come up to you to express his or her disdain for your performance. Maybe the other DJs in the bar or club shook their heads or laughed at you while you train wrecked a mix that you felt pressured into doing.

Whatever it is, take all of these with a grain of salt – people can be unusually mean when telling you off at a gig. Instead of listening to some drunk patrons or anonymous keyboard warriors on Facebook / Twitter, get feedback from someone you trust who was there – it could be the promoter who you know will give you an honest evaluation of your performance, or maybe a close friend who knows your style of DJing well. The key is to get an honest, objective piece of information that you can use to get better.

The feedback will be more valuable coming from these people than from a bunch of punters who flipped you the bird because you didn’t play their request. Never listen to haters, ever.

2. Recreate the “off” moments and work them out

If you’re getting sleepless nights thinking about that awkward transition that you made, muster up the courage to fire up your DJ software and try to recreate it in the privacy of your bedroom. Being behind the decks often places us under a microscope – we’re hyper-alert to things that we do that may or may not even be perceived by the crowd, and doing it in a safe space lets you hear things from a different, more objective point of view.

Maybe you messed up your playlists and couldn’t find a track that you needed to drop at the right time. Work out whether or not your music management and playlist habits are still serving you, or if they’re just making it tougher for you to locate the songs you actually want to play.

Often, it won’t be that bad, and even if it was cringe-worthy, learn what went wrong and work out how to do it better next time by practising it until you get it right. This is also known as deliberate practice. DJing is fun, but real practice, as in the type that helps you grow, isn’t – it involves scrutinising your technique based on the feedback you received, and then knuckling down to work out exactly how to improve. This is a big secret of all top performers, and it’s the only way forward, especially if you’ve found yourself plateauing in terms of DJ technique.

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3. Accept it and move on with some key learnings

Now that you’ve asked for feedback and made it a point to get better through deliberate practice, it’s time to let that bad gig go. Replaying the scene over and over in your head leads to unhealthy ruminating that will eat you up over time – I know this because I used to be that way with just about any sort of negative comment or insult that was thrown at me during a gig. It got so bad that there are days where I’d stay in bed just thinking about them. Trust me, it’s never worth your time or mental effort.

Besides, it may have been awful, but it rarely ever is as terrible as you think. The most crucial thing here is that you learned what was wrong and why it was bad to begin with, and you’ve taken action to improve.

The biggest DJs have all experienced messing up at least once (this is why “DJ fails” are so popular), but even the worst of technical guffaws haven’t done much to tarnish their brands: think about David Guetta, Steve Aoki, and Calvin Harris. They’re still raking it in and working harder than 99% of all DJs out there who have had a laugh at their expense at one point or another.


The chance of things not going your way during a DJ set should give you a profound respect for the art and craft. It simply isn’t the “press play” affair that many critics make it out to be.

No matter how big your audience gets and no matter how many rave reviews you receive, a DJ performance will never go 100% according to plan. That’s why you’ve got to respect the act and art of DJing – half-decent gigs can sometimes turn out to be all-out ragers, and the most important performance of your life that you’ve worked so hard for can turn out to be a dud.

This is what makes DJing such a complex, delicate, and unpredictable endeavour that is worth pursuing, as opposed to the “press play and wave your hands in the air” oversimplification that critics make it out to be. Regardless of the outcome, you should always prepare for every gig you play at. This is what separates professionals from amateurs.

If you’re reading this after you’ve just played the worst set of your life, hold your head high: DJing is risky. Sharing your music with others and putting yourself out there is a brave thing to do. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on it.

What was the worst DJ gig you played? Have you ever played a “bad” DJ gig where the only person who thought it went south was you? Share your stories with us below. (

Maybe the problem is not the customer or the crowd, it could be you, Here Is A Evaluation To Tell…

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Five Signs Of A Bad/Terrible DJ (Don’t Let This Be You)

  1. You Don’t Know the Art of Opening

Contrary to what some might believe, you can’t just go out there swinging your biggest guns. There’s a real art to warming up a crowd. Your job as the opener isn’t to show what a great headliner you would be, but to get these not-yet-quite-drunk people to let go of their inhibitions and bust a move. You’ve got to ready them for whatever act is coming next and get a dance floor vibing. And the real kicker: Every crowd is different. That’s why you’ve gotta read that bitch. And please, please, stop playing the headliner’s songs. That should be obvious, people.


  1. You Rely on Crappy Remixes

So that new album came out and everyone is freaking because it’s awesome, but it’s not exactly 120 to 140 bpm and it has the kind of beat that doesn’t flow properly with “Le7els” or the trap remix of “Satisfaction.” Are you going to take the time to learn how to mix complicated rhythms, slow your roll, and take a crowd with you on a journey into sound? Or are you just going to troll SoundCloud for some remix that adds nothing of intrinsic value but makes your life easier?

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  1. You’ve Managed a Career Based Solely on a Gimmick

All right, it seems you’re really getting somewhere. Over the past couple of years, we’ve watched as you began to headline events, grew a fan base on Facebook, and gained a bit of recognition. Actually, the recognition has been the easiest part, because rather than knowing you for original productions or clever mixing techniques, everyone gets really excited about your goofy-ass mask. You’re kind of selling a character, an “experience,” and it has nothing to do with a unique approach to music.


  1. You Keep Bolstering Your Live Production With More Useless Stuff/Things

Every time you hit the stage, you’ve got more attractions. Perhaps you now have giant robots fighting each other onstage next to you. Or maybe you’re throwing chicken-noodle soup at strippers who booty-clap inside a confetti cannon that shoots rainbows and money on the crowd. Wow, what a fucking spectacle! This is entertainment! But if we get past the insanity, we see you’re still shilling the same boring product you were from day one. Haven’t you learned anything yet?


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  1. You Play the Same Songs Everyone Else Plays

If someone walks past your stage or your booth and they can’t tell the difference between what you’re playing and everything else they’ve heard all day, just quit. You’re not a DJ — you’re a glorified jukebox, and that’s really quite terrible. (

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In Conclusion

Working with the public is hard work, because you have to deal with all those personalities, have to deal with the issues of misinformation and misinterpretation, In a world of the customer’s always right, It’s Your fault, and You Can’t Please Everybody All The Time.  

The world of customers might not care if they are alway right and most of the time they aren’t nice. Some are down right selfish and self-centered and think that it’s always about them. However in that murky world of who’s right and who’s wrong is us, the DJ and our reputation, our future business prospects and Our Money.  Proper navigation of your customer service, your before your gig and your after your gig checklist will resolve most issues, and when is doubt be courteous, be respectful and lastly show integrity.  Over time you will learn how to resolve these type of situation better. Stay Passionate!!!        



The Monkey And The Pig (Part III of a three part series)

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The idea of animality

Although only some animal metaphors are highly offensive, most appear to be somewhat negative in their connotations. One study found a clear majority to be judged uncomplimentary – especially those most often addressed to men – and another showed animal metaphors primarily represent negative attributes.
Our research suggests the most common of these negative attributes are depravity, disagreeableness and stupidity. In essence, when we call someone an “animal” in the general sense, we are ascribing these flaws to them. Humans are moral, civil and smart; animals are not.
Indeed, it has been argued animal metaphors reveal a deep sense of hierarchy in nature. According to the ancient idea of the scala naturae or “great chain or being”, humans sit one step above animals, who themselves sit above plants and then minerals. Just as we are on the third rock from the sun, we are on the third step from the top of the ladder, with God and angels above us.
In this hierarchy humans have supposedly unique powers of reason and self control, whereas animals represent unrestrained instinct. To call someone an animal is therefore to demote them to a lower rung of existence, a more primitive state of being where they lack human virtues.
It would be comforting if dehumanising metaphors and hierarchical ideas about humans and animals were just historical curiosities. Regrettably there is ample evidence that they endure. People are surprisingly willing to rank some humans as less human, and more primitive, than others. Animal metaphors shine a revealing light on that beastly reality.

Race is just skin deep, and if African Americans are monkeys and European Americans are pigs than African Americans have Pig in them and European Americans have monkey in them, Because these two animals cannot breed together because it biologically impossible, but African and European Americans can. The Proves that we are biologically related and compatible. The Difference is skin deep or one chromosome or evolutionary deep!!! So White’s or Europeans were not just born white they evolved to become White.

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How Europeans evolved white skin

(By Ann Gibbons Apr. 2, 2015)

  1. LOUIS, MISSOURI—Most of us think of Europe as the ancestral home of white people. But a new study shows that pale skin, as well as other traits such as tallness and the ability to digest milk as adults, arrived in most of the continent relatively recently. The work, presented here last week at the 84th annual meeting of the American Association of Physical Anthropologists, offers dramatic evidence of recent evolution in Europe and shows that most modern Europeans don’t look much like those of 8000 years ago.

The origins of Europeans have come into sharp focus in the past year as researchers have sequenced the genomes of ancient populations, rather than only a few individuals. By comparing key parts of the DNA across the genomes of 83 ancient individuals from archaeological sites throughout Europe, the international team of researchers reported earlier this year that Europeans today are a mix of the blending of at least three ancient populations of hunter-gatherers and farmers who moved into Europe in separate migrations over the past 8000 years. The study revealed that a massive migration of Yamnaya herders from the steppes north of the Black Sea may have brought Indo-European languages to Europe about 4500 years ago.
Now, a new study from the same team drills down further into that remarkable data to search for genes that were under strong natural selection—including traits so favorable that they spread rapidly throughout Europe in the past 8000 years. By comparing the ancient European genomes with those of recent ones from the 1000 Genomes Project, population geneticist Iain Mathieson, a postdoc in the Harvard University lab of population geneticist David Reich, found five genes associated with changes in diet and skin pigmentation that underwent strong natural selection.
First, the scientists confirmed an earlier report that the hunter-gatherers in Europe could not digest the sugars in milk 8000 years ago, according to a poster. They also noted an interesting twist: The first farmers also couldn’t digest milk. The farmers who came from the Near East about 7800 years ago and the Yamnaya pastoralists who came from the steppes 4800 years ago lacked the version of the LCT gene that allows adults to digest sugars in milk. It wasn’t until about 4300 years ago that lactose tolerance swept through Europe.
When it comes to skin color, the team found a patchwork of evolution in different places, and three separate genes that produce light skin, telling a complex story for how European’s skin evolved to be much lighter during the past 8000 years. The modern humans who came out of Africa to originally settle Europe about 40,000 years are presumed to have had dark skin, which is advantageous in sunny latitudes. And the new data confirm that about 8500 years ago, early hunter-gatherers in Spain, Luxembourg, and Hungary also had darker skin: They lacked versions of two genes—SLC24A5 and SLC45A2—that lead to depigmentation and, therefore, pale skin in Europeans today.
But in the far north—where low light levels would favor pale skin—the team found a different picture in hunter-gatherers: Seven people from the 7700-year-old Motala archaeological site in southern Sweden had both light skin gene variants, SLC24A5 and SLC45A2. They also had a third gene, HERC2/OCA2, which causes blue eyes and may also contribute to light skin and blond hair. Thus ancient hunter-gatherers of the far north were already pale and blue-eyed, but those of central and southern Europe had darker skin.
Then, the first farmers from the Near East arrived in Europe; they carried both genes for light skin. As they interbred with the indigenous hunter-gatherers, one of their light-skin genes swept through Europe, so that central and southern Europeans also began to have lighter skin. The other gene variant, SLC45A2, was at low levels until about 5800 years ago when it swept up to high frequency.
The team also tracked complex traits, such as height, which are the result of the interaction of many genes. They found that selection strongly favored several gene variants for tallness in northern and central Europeans, starting 8000 years ago, with a boost coming from the Yamnaya migration, starting 4800 years ago. The Yamnaya have the greatest genetic potential for being tall of any of the populations, which is consistent with measurements of their ancient skeletons. In contrast, selection favored shorter people in Italy and Spain starting 8000 years ago, according to the paper now posted on the bioRxiv preprint server. Spaniards, in particular, shrank in stature 6000 years ago, perhaps as a result of adapting to colder temperatures and a poor diet.
Surprisingly, the team found no immune genes under intense selection, which is counter to hypotheses that diseases would have increased after the development of agriculture.
The paper doesn’t specify why these genes might have been under such strong selection. But the likely explanation for the pigmentation genes is to maximize vitamin D synthesis, said paleoanthropologist Nina Jablonski of Pennsylvania State University (Penn State), University Park, as she looked at the poster’s results at the meeting. People living in northern latitudes often don’t get enough UV to synthesize vitamin D in their skin so natural selection has favored two genetic solutions to that problem—evolving pale skin that absorbs UV more efficiently or favoring lactose tolerance to be able to digest the sugars and vitamin D naturally found in milk. “What we thought was a fairly simple picture of the emergence of depigmented skin in Europe is an exciting patchwork of selection as populations disperse into northern latitudes,” Jablonski says. “This data is fun because it shows how much recent evolution has taken place.”
Anthropological geneticist George Perry, also of Penn State, notes that the work reveals how an individual’s genetic potential is shaped by their diet and adaptation to their habitat. “We’re getting a much more detailed picture now of how selection works.” Any race being born of or of the bloodline of an animal is not true and is truly the blueprint and criteria of Bullying and we as American and Individual citizen need to stop it’s painful and harmful grip on our multi-racial society. So here’s how to start:

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Bullying Prevention Which is taught to our children in all elementary and public school. In fact, it has been around for several years. What started as an awareness week initiated by PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center in October 2006, the event has evolved into a month’s worth of events and activities to raise awareness and provide the latest resources to those who need it. National partners in 2006 included the National Education Association, National PTA, American Federation for Teachers, and National Coalition for Parent Involvement in Education. PACER recognized that students, parents, and people throughout the country needed to become more aware of the serious consequences of bullying. The point of National Bullying Prevention Month was to transform a society that accepts bullying into a society that recognizes that bullying must – and can – be addressed through education and support.
Over the past several years, the event has grown in awareness and reach. “It has grown beyond our expectations,” says Paula F. Goldberg, PACER’s executive director. “It has become a major event.” National Bullying Prevention Month is now recognized in communities across the United States, with hundreds of schools and organizations signing on as partners with PACER.
Unity Day, on October 10, is a time when people across the country will wear orange as a show of support for students who have been bullied. Ellen DeGeneres wore orange on her TV show during last year’s Unity Day. In addition, the Run, Walk, Roll Against Bullying event on October 6, encourages communities to stage events to show support against bullying. This year, organizations from Las Vegas, Nevada to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, and from Jonesboro, Arkansas to San Diego, California are staging these events to raise awareness in their communities.” (
Students learn that these names and stories behind the names can stick and be so very harmful to the labeled individual that some of the bullied can cause harm to themselves. However society has not come along with the children and continue to spout out these hurtful epitaphs, during criticisms and while anger. Two of the most unpleasant to be called are Monkeys and Pig!!!

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In Conclusion
Now that we understand the history and meaning of the hateful, painful, and op- positional terms and images that divide us. We should stop calling names because names are bullies tool to belittle us and hurt us, remember we give them power. Let take back the power with knowledge: that African Americans are no more monkeys as European Americans are pigs. Let’s stop these hurtful statement and talk about the actual problem in America: The Homelessness, Sexual Harassment, Child Molestation, High Cost Of Medicare, Among our other problem. And Adults, Parents, Grands, Uncles, and Guardians let’s teach or learn from our kid. Let’s Stop The Big Bullies From Using Bullying Language To Divide US!!!

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Do You Want To Be A DJ A Weekly Series Week 9 “DJing At My First GiG”

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Before The GiG

Key Advice: Prepare Prepare Prepare

  • Make sure you know the tracks you are going to play and practise mixing them.
  • Create a ‘bangers’ playlist of well known tracks to draw for when needed.
  • Prepare your music, playlists, grids so they are ready to go (check out our Ultimate Digital Management guide to get yourself organised).
  • Think about a few possible options for the first track, you’ll want to go in big!  These can be reviewed when you arrive and settled into the club atmosphere.
  • Make a check BEFORE THE GIG
  • you.
  • list of everything you need to take to the gig – controller, laptop, audio/USB/power cables, headphones, USB sticks (check our Best USBs for DJs guide) – list everything! On the day you’ll be distracted by the upcoming event so make sure you have a thorough list to refer to to ensure you don’t forget anything.
  • If you are taking your own set up make sure there is space and power and that the venue/promoter is aware what you are bringing with you.
  • Take a back up – USB, CDJs, Vinyl – whatever medium it is having a good selection of essential tracks is key especially for those laptop crashing moments. You can even take an iPod (with 3.5mm jack to RCA Y-lead) with some tracks in a playlist to just get you through any technical problems. Whatever you take, just having these with you will give you some piece of mind.
  • If possible, check out the night the week before to get a feel for the crowd, what tracks are making them move and of course the DJs.
  • If you get a chance, also check out the DJ booth and see what kit is installed.  Is there any free space for controllers & laptops? Is there a decent monitor speaker for the DJ?  Before you do this be respectful of the DJ who’s playing. If there is kit in there you’ve not used or is a different model then do some research online and check out video reviews for basic functionality.
  • Confirm your set time, duration and room with the promoter.
  • Get a feel for the events history, check their website and socials.  What DJs have played in the past?  Do they have residents?
  • Post the flyer around and tag the event page, promoter and venue – show your support on your social networks.  If there is a Facebook event then invite your friends along.
  • Not essential but if you have a DJ buddy with experience see if they will come along with you.        
  • (


This the list I used to make sure I was prepared,  My first preparing: I got off work and packed up all my gear: My controller, My laptop, Speaker, and My headphones and drove all the way to the house that I will soon be letting people hear all my time and sweat.

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Plugged in my equipment and started playing my first song from my catalogue, everything was going great, then it happened the lights went out and all the music, drinking, eating and dancing stopped.  I maintained my cool, connected my phone to the speakers and found a radio station on old schools jams and the party goers were relaxing telling jokes.  When the lights finally came on I didn’t miss a beat, I reconnected my connector and continue to play me party.

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I didn’t scratch as much or make that much effect but I did follow the BPM(Beats Per Minutes), and kept the music playing all night.  Some people asked me to play some requested song and I made sure I had some of those, but for the most part it went very well.  I have to say that I was very nervous, but my friends and party goers helped me to relax, I am glad it didn’t go crazy and or I made any terrible mistakes in my first gig. Here are seven mistakes that can happen when you’re not prepared for your first gig.   

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Seven Mistake made by individuals On Their  First Gig

  1. I accepted the gig 24 hours before the event

The call came in just as I was about to head home. “Can you help DJ the company function tomorrow night?” With the acceptance of those words, things went steadily downhill.

First I had not practised in a couple of weeks. What I thought would be an hour’s worth of work moving from my home set-up to a live one took most of the night and I still didn’t get it all done. Instead of prepping specifically this gig, I spent a lot of time just trying to get things to work.


  1. I used a laptop to DJ with that I’d never used before

At home, I have my Traktor Kontrol S4 connected to my iMac with most of my music residing on centralised NAS (network attached storage). The iMac has a ridiculous amount of desktop real estate. I can easily open all four decks in advance mode to see every option there is to see, still with plenty of room to comfortably browse and edit my songs.

My laptop, on the other hand, is an older HP laptop with 1280 x 720 resolution that can barely let me see two virtual decks. And editing is almost impossible on the laptop. Having never really practised on my live set-up, I might as well have been using someone else’s gear.

One of the things I am trying to do now is move everything to my live set-up! I want no surprises for my next engagement. What I do at home should be what I do when I’m out.

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  1. I expected my songs to come across with beat-grids intact

Number 2 would not have been a big deal if things worked the way I anticipated they would.

There’s no point painstakingly beatgridding your music and then not checking the information has copied across correctly to your laptop before the gig… Pic:

In this case, as I keep all of my songs on my NAS it should have been a simple matter to just copy them over to an external hard drive and import them in. Unfortunately for me, not everything came across the way I hoped.

Many of the songs that I spent so much time beatgridding lost their cue points. Songs were not where I had been accustomed to seeing them.

In some cases, songs I know I have did not copy over, including some premixed material I was counting on to get me through the evening. Because enough material wasn’t ready, I had to analyse many of the songs just before mixing them in. That is not nearly as much fun as just working on your flow.


  1. I neglected to consider the music the crowd would want

I did this set with one other person and we both like dance, urban, club, trance type music. At a corporate type function it turns out they want a wider selection of material. People asked for salsa, country, metal, 80s, pop and the list goes on. In some cases, I had a little bit of the requested style but just as things were starting to go, I would have to switch genres because I was out of that type of material. As I am hoping to do more of these kinds of things, I’m definitely going to work on creating playlists for unfamiliar genres.

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  1. I spent far too much time dealing with people

As I did this for work, I knew almost all of the 150 people or so that showed up; and it seemed that everyone wanted to talk, drink, make requests and comment in the booth while I was trying to work. This resulted in making some mistakes through lack of focus and concentration. Instead of having the next song cued up there were moments of panic as I realised the song was about to end. Other times, beat drops were not as in sync as I would have liked.

See that flashing red waveform and “2 seconds remaining”? That’s your cue to stop arguing with your boss about playing some Dire Straits and get another tune on!

Some people were just flat out rude. Some people were obnoxiously drunk. Other people tried to get me drunk while “working”. Many people could not easily handle the fact that I couldn’t play their favourite song or didn’t play more of their favourite type of music. Even my boss was little upset. And these were people I knew, worked with and liked! I can only imagine what things would have been like with people I didn’t know.

The next time, I will have my partner act as gatekeeper to make sure I can focus fully on what I’m doing instead of trying to be friendly and DJ at the same time. Some people socialise while making their food, for instance. I am not one of those people. As a newbie, are you?


  1. We had no plan B in case of hardware failure

My partner had a Numark CDJ Mixdeck (built in CDJs and iPod insert) which failed about half way through the night. As my machine was plugged into his machine we were loath to shut it down in the middle of our set. This meant he could only use his iPod for DJing which became very limiting. You would think with two controllers we would be better prepared for something like this but we didn’t give much thought to our set-up.

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  1. I forgot my prepared material

I had over two hours of premixed material that did not make it as part of the trip. This material would have been extremely helpful in the beginning of my set, with nobody really listening, and as was dealing with my nerves.

In the comfort of my own home, with no one looking and nothing at stake, I can create remix masterpieces. When you are in a live venue, everything speeds up a hundredfold – especially when everything is different then what you normally use. I should have made sure this material was one of first things that got copied over.


So, was it a disaster then?

So with the lack of preparation, hardware failures, and drunk friends, you would think the whole night went down in flames, yes?

Actually, no – this was not the case! People still danced. More things worked then didn’t. While the mistakes were obvious to me, they were not obvious to the audience. DJing in front of a live audience was exhilarating – especially at the end of the night when the nerves completely went away and I found my flow.(

Next week is our Final “Do You Want To Be A DJ” A Weekly Series 10 How to pick yourself up after pretty much the worst gig ever?” Don’t Miss the last of a great series!!!


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“Do You Want To Be A DJ” A Weekly Series Week 8 “Preparing For My First GIG”


A Advertisement Before The Blog 

This is a plug: Remember  In “Do you want To Be A DJ” A Weekly Series 2nd week” I talked about “buying equipment on a budget” and didn’t realize, that with a budget didn’t  mean you have to shortchange yourself, you can actually buy from the top shelf and pay in time, “month to month” for the next three, four, six, twelve months.  Here is the top companies do just that!!!

The first place I called, this is a Oasis in the middle of the I can’t afford that world of DJ Equipment. My friend told me about this and after he showed my bought my first and dream connector:  Pioneer DDJ-SX2 DJ Controller for Serato DJ, New for $999.00 or $83.25 for the next 12 months.

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This was such a bargain that  also bought a set of speakers Pioneer Bulit8 Powered Studio Monitor, Pair for $498.00 or $62.25 for the next 12 months.    

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Now I will have my great DJ equipment this friday for a party and have to pay Only pay $145.50 a month as I enjoy my equipment every month and make money.  It’s just that easy and if you buy it in six months, they don’t check your credit.    


This was the hook up of the century and I go this hot tip from one of my friend and fellow DJs in Akron Ohio. You can mention my name and maybe  can got some more readers for my blog lol.

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I hope you realized what I said earlier, but I’m going to say it slowly “This Friday I will be playing my first party,” its a card party but I’m actually hired as a DJ. Let me tell you how it happened.

Ok first of all let me explain “a card party.”  A card party is a party for older adults, they pay cards, they come together drink, snack, listen to music, and play cards games like: tunk, pitty pat, poker, and spaides. It’s a fun night for individual older people to play have fun get together and maybe go away with some bragging rights.  


This is how I got my first gig, while meeting with some friends who asked me if I’m coming to their card party, I asked them if there was going to be music, as i passed them one of my newly printed professional DJ card. They asked me “how much would I charge?” I said “how many hours will the party be?” they said “about four hours.” I said “I will charge about $10.00 an hour” and they said “fine.” And now I have my first gig.   

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How To Prepare For Your First digital DJ GiG:

Your palms are sweating and your heart is racing. You could cut the nervous tension with a knife. The club is full of expectant people who all want to see what you can do. All eyes are on you as you step behind the decks and prepare to pull off what just a short while ago might have seemed impossible to you. It’s your first gig and as far as you’re concerned, everyone in the club is wondering the same thing: “Does this guy know what he’s doing?”

Preparing for your first gig is an activity you should not take lightly. Practice makes perfect, as the saying goes, and without a lot of practice your first gig will be average at best. At worst, it will be fraught with frustrating problem after frustrating problem. While it’s true that few gigs are totally problem-free, with a little preparation and thought, many of the big issues can be minimised or avoided altogether. Here’s how to avoid some of the common mistakes DJs often make at their first gigs:

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9 tips for first gig success

  1. Take your time

Avoid taking on a last minute gig. Give yourself at least three days to practise and plan before playing a gig. Taking on a last minute gig does nothing but open up the door of frustration. Many inexperienced or novice DJs make the mistake of thinking that they need to take on any gig they’re offered, at any notice. This is not true and in fact, it pays to be selective. Take the gigs you know you can handle and decline the rest. After all, if you botch a gig, how will that help you land another in the future?

  1. Use the tools you’re familiar with

Whether your friend has a faster laptop than you, or you just bought a new deck, switching up your tools at the last minute is a recipe for disaster. In order to avoid the confusion of new equipment, or the possibility that it won’t perform the way you’re used to, avoid using equipment you’re unfamiliar with at your first (or any) gig. Stick to the tools you know, even if they’re slower or less fancy.

  1. Play to the crowd

If the only place you’re used to playing is your room, then you’re likely playing to an audience of one: Yourself. When playing your first gig for other people you need to keep in mind that their tastes, and your tastes, may not line up. Learning to listen to the criticism and suggestions of others without allowing them to derail you is one of the great skills of DJing. Might as well start learning it right from the off.

  1. Never leave home without a plan B

As a budding DJ you probably haven’t had a whole lot of experience with hardware failures. Despite what some DJs will say, hardware failure can and will happen. Whether it’s a frayed cable or a crashed laptop it doesn’t matter: they both stop the music. You should always have a plan B in place in case your plan A stops working…

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  1. Show up early

The last thing you want to be doing before you step behind the decks is rushing around tying up last minute loose ends. It’s better to show up too early than too late. Give yourself time to set up, and run a thorough sound check. This will alert you to any problems and give you time to fix them before they affect the sound of your set.

  1. Plan out your set

As a DJ you know it’s best to start strong and end strong, but many well-intentioned DJs will forget this in the heat of the moment. It’s best to plan out multiple solid playlists that you can switch to depending on your crowd. This will keep people dancing, and help lessen the nervousness of a first gig. Having pre-planned “mini-sets” like this is not cheating; slotting together pre-planned segments according to what the crowd reacts to is a time-honoured why of mixing planning with spontaneity.

  1. Promote the gig

It’s not enough to assume that your family and friends will simply pack out a club. They may or may not, but truth be told you’ll probably want some strangers there too, and bringing a crowd is certainly one of the best ways to get booked again, like it or not. Friends and family may be flakier than you think, plus they’ll always give biased feedback. Plus, winning over a room of strangers is always more fulfilling than playing to the converted.

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  1. Make sure everything makes it to the gig

You probably have a lot of equipment, cables, accessories and the like. Create a log so you can make sure everything you need makes it to the gig and back home. It’s a good idea to pin a checklist to the back of door in your DJ room, or keep one on your phone, or tucked in your kit bag.

  1. Bring a trusted sidekick

Having a person available to help you isn’t necessary, but it will make a world of a difference. During the course of a two-hour set it’s very likely that you’ll need to step out for a break or to use the restroom, and it’s good to have someone there who can watch your stuff and make sure everything keeps running smoothly. This person can also act as a liaison between you and the audience so that you can receive requests and suggestions without having to shift your focus from the decks to the audience.


Whether you’ve already had a few shows under your belt or you’re preparing to play your first, these tips can be applied to help make the whole process more smooth and less nerve racking. Remember, practice makes perfect, and the only place to really practise DJing is in public, so don’t let any excuse get in the way of getting out there and getting some notches on your belt. Good luck!(
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How To Play Your First DJ Set


  1. Know your tunes

This is the most important tip of all. So you’re playing a two-hour set – that’s probably 25-30 tunes. Whether you’re DJing the warm-up set or playing peak time, same difference. I’d say have 50-60 tunes prepared that you know inside out. You should be happy mixing all of these, and ought to have thought hard about why they’re in your virtual crate.

What tunes are “big” in the venue? What tunes are big right now? What other tunes complement them? What tunes are important to you, are part of your style? What mixes have you discovered that you love? You need a blend of new, old, known, unknown, predictable and surprising. Choosing double the tunes you’ll need means you can go underground or chart, upfront or classic, safe or risky, as the crowd takes you. But make sure you know them well – that’s the most important thing.

And DO take the time to prepare them – don’t just turn up with 60GB of tunes unsorted on a hard drive and think you’ll be OK. You won’t!

  1. Know your kit

It’s important that you’re happy with your DJ equipment, especially because as a digital DJ it’s more than likely ou’ll be taking your own kit with you to play on. You need to know how to set it all up, pack it away again, get everything working quickly.

You need to know what to do if you have a crash (hint: take an iPod and be ready to plug it in with a mix prepared), and how to boot up quickly and cleanly (eg knock out wireless / Bluetooth, don’t let memory or processor-hungry apps load in your PC, disable screensavers…).

Prepare well for your first DJ set to make sure you enjoy it.

It will help if you’ve played with your gear in parties. If not, just take it to someone else’s house and set it all up there, while catching up with them. This will prepare you for being in a venue where people may be trying to talk to you, you’re unfamiliar with the surrounding, you’re in “public” mode – and even for when someone says “you’re on in 5” and you’ve not even unpacked. (But still, get there early and set up in good time.)

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  1. Have a plan

I had a set list written out and hidden in my record box the first time I DJed in public, I was that nervous – with every single mix planned! I wouldn’t say go that far, but a bit of planning is a good thing.

You already know what time you’re starting and finishing. How many people will be there? When does the venue tend to get busy? When do people start to dance? You can’t make people dance too early, so have a plan – a warm-up, a transitional stage, a peak-time stage.

If you’re only booked for warm-up, play warm-up; if you’re coming on after a chart DJ but you’re more upfront, have some chart crossover material to lead into your set. If you’re between two DJs who play different styles, how will you bridge them?

The point is, have a plan; think about what you’re going to play. Half an hour of this, then half an hour of that, then half an hour of something else… that’s all you need. Just the process of planning a DJ set makes you a better DJ, especially when afterwards you compare how it went with what you were thinking.

  1. Keep it simple

Your first DJ set is no time for tricks and showing off. Just plan to play records simply and competently one after the other. Make your mixes functional; you’ll probably be trembling too much to “large” it on the decks anyway!

Keep your mixing simple and make enough time to enjoy watching the dancefloor.

One of the biggest things you should take from your first few DJ sets is how the crowd behaves, but if you’re too busy trying to plan and pull off DJ tricks, you won’t be watching them enough. So keep it simple, take in the atmosphere and learn by looking around you – the tricks can come when you’ve mastered the basics. You’re far less likely to mess up this way.

On a related note, don’t have more than a drink or two to steady your nerves – caution goes out of the window when you’re half-drunk, and you don’t want to go down that road on your first (or four-hundredth) DJ set.

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  1. Look like you’re enjoying yourself

This is where many rookie DJs (and a few professionals) let themselves down. Nobody wants to see a DJ with his head in his laptop 90% of the time, agonising over every mix. You have to have time to join in, even if it’s just a little dance and a smile, shaking hands, chatting to those near to you.

Even if you feel rough, you’re so nervous you could be sick, nobody’s dancing, the venue owner has told you to turn it down, you keep getting inappropriate tune requests, it looks like a fight is about to kick of in the corner, and your girlfriend just had a go at you for not giving her enough attention: smile!

It’s your enthusiasm often as not that gets the dancefloor going. It’s your love of the music that encourages other people to hear the good in it. It’s your lead that starts everyone having fun. Looking happy on the outside when all manner of “performance anguish” is going on in your head and heart is difficult, but you must master this one. How can you expect others to have a good time if you’re obviously not?

Remember, people have come for a night out, and your music is only a small part of that. Relax!

  1. Relax – most people aren’t even listening!

A wise old DJ friend of mine once said: “Most people aren’t really listening.” I thought he was talking rubbish at the time, but it turns out he was quite right.

Put yourself in the shoes of the average person on a night out. You go out for an evening: You are trying to get laid, get drunk, just happy you’re not at work, catching up with friends, in the venue solely because it’s a trendy place to be seen in, worrying that your bum looks big in this skirt, upset that your best friend hasn’t come, really pleased someone you didn’t think you’d see is here, bitchin’ because someone never buys a drink for you… and all this time there may or may not be a DJ playing!

You see? Most people they simply don’t listen to the music all night long… even when dancing to it, half the time. If someone hears two records they love, they’ll go home happy. If they don’t go home happy, it probably won’t have been your fault anyway (see the list above).

Point is, pick your tunes well, and relax! People really aren’t here for you. Even your friends will be hard-pushed to name many of your tunes after a DJ set. Music might be your life… but most of the crowd have got more important things on their minds.

  1. End on a great record

So if most people aren’t listening most of the time, your aim is to make sure everyone in the club hears just two or three records they really love. The trick here is to make those “I love this one” tunes different for everyone, so there’s always someone “bigging up” your music at any given time.

Save your best tune to last and send everyone home happy.

But… here’s a big DJ secret. If you can save just one record that as many people as possible in the crowd adore, and play it right at the very end, you’ll send them all home with that tune ringing around in their ears.

And when they wake up, hungover and with hazy heads, they’ll probably only remember that one tune from the night before… and hopefully your smiling face as you jumped about behind the decks while you were playing it to them. Job done! (
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Hope this has helped you like it’s helped me to get the nerves calm down, get focused, and remember what I learned over the pasted seven weeks? Very nervous and excited!!!! Stay Tuned For “Do You Want To Be A DJ” A Weekly Series Week Chapter 9 What Actually Happened At My First Gig!!!