​Why you should care, how you look and what you wear!!!

Beauty is very subjective and has to be the hardest word to define; if you say something is beautiful to a group of people, and someone says it’s not, you can spend hours defending your belief. That’s why it’s so hard to describe, define and defend. Because everyone has their own idea of what’s beautiful. It’s not even definded the same way in languages other than english: examples

Hindu: Delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration
English: A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

 

Both of these definitions similar in concept but not in information!!! Daily while watching women in beauty store’s I see them looking, smelling, rubbing, and  buying everything the can to become their idea of beautiful!!! Is that wrong???

 

Talking to a attractive women and we got on the subject about all the things she does and needs to do to be beautiful, in my frusEveion I asked: “Ok, one more time, let me see if I got it? For a woman to be considered beautiful in the “New Millennium” A women has to have her: (I break it down in sections!!!)
FACE:
Eye brows feathered, and arched, eye lashes augmented her make up put on by a makeup artist or herself while watching a tutoral on “YouTube”. Now That’s just with the face.
THE BODY
The body has to be a “blessing from God” with the proper, “Breast and Booty to body ratio” or you have to make sure you have the right “bra” and or body shapers “spandex” that will contour. Next you have to dress in the late styles!!!

ACCESSORIES
After the clothing, proper purse and accessories like bangles, earrings, bracelets, necklets, shoes and stocking.  
HAIR, NAILS AND FEET 
Let’s get to the hair this is the tricky part: choose a length, natural or weaved and or wig, so many styles, to choose from, remember it has it fit your face and it has to be current.  Now the nails manicure and pedicure, with fill-ins, now you’re ready!! 
When she was finished, I asked”why do you do so much and why do you care???
She said “I’m a women and every person should”Care about what you put on and what you wear”
Then I realized “every woman should care about how she looks if she wants to realize a comfortable level of success and self-sufficiency.” 

 

And then I notices Her directness was very refreshing and it caught me by surprise, because in this world of false modesty, and fake humility, here is  someone is breaking through the lies with a statement of truth. she end by saying:”it’s ok to dress your best!”
Today’s women are jetsetter, trendsetter and fulltime: Mom, Wife, and home manager. Well organized and efficient!!!

And looking and smelling good doing it. 
And  growing in their careers and just like with attraction “you never get a second chance to make a first impression” so they continue to dazzle in the work place a “Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov say first impressions are formed in less than a tenth of a second.” 
Also “Fifty-seven percent of hiring managers told NEWSWEEK that qualified but unattractive candidates are likely to have a harder time landing a job, while more than half advised spending as much time and money on “making sure they look attractive” as on perfecting a résumé.”
Lastly “Handsome men earn, on average, 5 percent more than their less-attractive counterparts (good-looking women earn 4 percent more); pretty people get more attention from teachers, bosses, and mentors; even babies stare longer at good-looking faces (and we stare longer at good-looking babies).”
So guess what ladies, your hard work is not going unnoticed, all of your time: in the beauty shop, nail shop, lash shop, clothing and shoe shop will be paying of in bigger postions and greater salaries. So keep up the good work, someone is watching and paying for your time!!!

  

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​Life, You Decide

Do I have enough time??? is asked by people all over the world and in every small corner of every town: “do I have time for dinner? Do I have time for a relationship? Do I have time for work?, the kids, and my friends etc.?  Did you know that, Every time you ask one of these questions, you are crossroads? Because It’s a toss-up what you’re going to do.  No matter what the question is you have to make a decision!!!
Making a decision is a very hard undertaking and without even a blink of an eye, we make them all the time and most are rushed. We decided what clothing to wear, what shoes to wear, before we even got out the bed this morning. Thousands of other things before we decided to walk out the bus and attend class, or our car to go to work.  Every day and sometimes every minute of every day we are constantly making decisions, Some big some small with the same “ok let’s do that”attitude.” Let’s take a moment and see, what goes into a decision?
Looking on the internet its thousands of strategies, for making an actual decision but for time sake we will use this basis one.  
The seven-step strategy is:

1.     Create a constructive environment.

2.     Investigate the situation in detail.

3.     Generate good alternatives.

4.     Explore your options.

5.     Select the best solution.

6.     Evaluate your plan/ 

7.     Communicate your decision, and take action.
 

First of all we have to a:

“A Constructive Environment: In social science, the term built environment refers to the man-made surroundings that provide the setting for human activity, ranging in scale from buildings to parks. It has been defined as “the humanitarian-made space in which people live, work, and recreate on a day-to-day basis.”

This is were the magic happens, where we relax in figure out what our options are.
Next we look at the things involved, the people involved and the process: this is called: Investigate the situation in detail: “to carry out research or study into (a subject, typically one in a scientific or academic field) so as to discover facts or information.”
Next we brainstorm to see if there are other ways or better way to have a more feasible outcome: Generate good alternatives: “Brainstorming is a good technique for identifying alternatives. Making lists of possible combinations of actions can generate ideas that can be shaped into alternatives. Often this is best done with a small group of people with different perspectives, knowledge, and experience.”
Next: Explore your options:  “Here you will find tips to uncover options that may be the right “fit” and ways to gain first-hand insight.”
Select the best solution. This might be a good time to call a friend, parent, pastor, someone you trust to help you!!!
Evaluate your plan. Use this time to go over everything in your head, what you think, what others think, and the path you will take. 
Finally: Communicate your decision, and take action. Tell people your plan, ask the questions, find the resources, and map out your plan of attack!!!
Like I said earlier we have used this process of decision making for years, and you might say,”what’s new with your strategy” than any other strategy I have use before? 
All decisions matter because “You Have To Live With The OutCome!!!” if you picked up a shirt for school, that was dirty this morning, you have to live with it, if you didn’t take a bath and smell bad at work, you have to live with it, if you forgot your money for gas and your car stalls out you have to live with it, and it goes on and on!!! 
So I’m just giving you a lesson to think about when you a decision “Take Your Time!!!” 
And Remember these 3 things:

1. decisions are more costly than others” 2. all decisions matter longterm and 

3. lately: the life and time you save might be your own!!!
Ponder that as you read these two quotes:
 “My grandmother taught me that happiness is both a skill and a decision, and you are responsible for the outcome.” 
“And remember “a good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers” Plato

A Vegetarian Argument

I talked to vegen today and they said ” I don’t eat meat because…” blah blah blah. Then I said “yes you do eat meat,” “you eat the meat or flesh of fruits and vegetables and when its exposed it breakdowns just as quickly and in similar ways as an animal flesh does!!!”
Let me enlighten you, when you smell fruit or flowers the closer to death they become the more fragrant they become and they become sweeter because of the sugers from the organs secretions start to come to the surface of the fruit and or vegetable. Then the smell you smell, is organ failure. And all organ failure smells alike, fruity.
So you see, all humans have only one capacity when it comes to diet, the capacity to eat living things. So please vegetarian stop call us carnivore because all of us are killing and eating something to survive!!!
Now excuse me while I eat lunch!!!

​I guess I’ll take a year off!!!

It’s May and School is coming to a close for so many High School students. Now it’s the big decision: “College, Military or Get a job” I can still hear it ringing in my ears. 
I was up most nights, working hard to see which one is “the lesser of two evils” Maybe three evils, lol. 
But now I hear there is a fourth chose? This is the chose that came directly from the White House. They announced it like this:

“The wait is finally over. On Sunday, the White House announced that eldest daughter Malia Obama will attend Harvard University” “Washington Post”

The President and wife announced:

“Malia will take a gap year before beginning school,” “Wash. Post”
A WHAT!!! “A gap year” I can see myself right now before graduating from High School saying: “oh mom I see your three choses and I raise you a fourth” “I’m taking a gap year” and seeing my mom and pops putting my bags on the front porch!!! I don’t think with my parents were the “gap year” types, I dont think I could have gotten a gap week!!!
Ok, What is a gap year:

“A gap year is a welcome break for many students but can also be frustrating to others. It may indeed be a way to recharge your battery or to explore activities near home or afar that you never had time to experience before.”
The problem with having “freetime” is most people don’t plan their “freetime” effectively.  They might just relax and wait for something to happen. However this isn’t actually “freetime” its a “gap year” So:
 “We (professions) advise you to come up with a plan–at least a preliminary one–before you commit to the year off”

“If you have no clue about what to do, consider one of the organizations, like those below, that provide gap-year solutions. Example: 

(www.interimprograms.com)”

Also: “regard your time away from school as worthwhile or even unique. For instance, if your applications already point to a particular passion (silk-screening or ceramics, playing the sitar, volunteering in a shelter for battered women or AIDS babies, etc.)” to add to your resume or your college applications so it might get you accepted to more universities and or help you get a scholarship!!!
Lastly “Getting a job–even a menial one–to help defray college costs would also be construed as “worthwhile” by admission officials.” also you can work in the town where you plan to attend college, and you can establish residency which will lower your tutition payments.

This is a start but you can come up with some of your own ideas, have fun with it. It’s your time use it wisely!!!
Hey before I started this article I thought that taking a “gap year” was a bad idea, but after looking at some of these positive reasons to have a “gap year.” I see it is  beneficial if the intending student: has a plan, volunteers, and or work in area’s that will benefit them when they finally enter college. I see no problem with taking a year off to reset!!!and have a happy and productive year!!!

​Sex: pay (for) it forward!!!

Sex: pay (for) it forward!!!

Reading a post on “Facebook”, “Instagram”, “Snapchat” and you will hear the same conversation: “I can wait till God sends me a HUSBAND!!!” But they continue with non-waiting behavior, like having more sex, more babies, more heartbreak, an more bills est!!! Will this behavior hurt their chances, for a good relationships in the future???
Sex is as old and has existence since people have.  Moreover sexual practices have been ever changing from the inception of the grandma position 

continues to evolving daily. However today sexual partners, positions, and styles have changed enormously to a “new super sex era.”This radical change maybe due inpart to the inclusion of movies, television, “free love 60’s”  and social media. These human created developments might have mutated our normal sexual habits and appetites to the new levels of hedonism which has very few limitations. And This tragic shift can have detimental consequences to our future relationships and future marriages. 
Sex and its habits and practices, doesn’t happen in a vacuum, just like anything else the act remains encapsulated or filed away in your memory: from the first act:
Dr Noam an insight therapist says: “Firsts are often etched hard into memory, and they weigh heavily in the formation of our overall impression.” and “Your age when you first have sex may have surprising future implications.” 

Sexual behavior is a form of self-expression, through which we figure out and experience our deep values, priorities, fears, and desires. ” He also say: “if you had your first sexual encounter with a loving and considerate partner, the experience can radiate onto your sexual life from then on.” However: Galena K. Rhoades, study co-author and research associate professor of psychology at the University of Denver. Says “Individuals who had more sexual partners or more experience cohabitating are not as likely to have high-quality marriages compared with those who had less,” so as Dr. Noam stated eariler “… the more serious premarital relationships you had before, (you meet Mr or Mrs right) the less likely you are to be happily married later
So”happy marriage may be tied to people other than your soon-to-be spouse”  
looking at couple: The researchers analyzed data from the national Relationship Development Study, tracking more than 1,000 Americans 18 to 34 who were not married but were in a relationship in 2007 and 2008. They followed them for five years, through 11 waves of data collection, then looked
Among the report’s highlights:
“The researchers noted that past experience — notably sex, romantic ties and children — is linked to future marital quality and can impact it negatively.”
Also slides people who allow other people to make their decisions rather than make their own has similar consequences: “Couples who “slide” rather than “decide” their way through life-changing transitions like having sex, living together and becoming pregnant are less likely to report high-quality marriages.”
Wow, so based on the research we can conclude that past and resent relational behavior will hurt our future relationships and or marriages. So make good choses you future depends upon it!!!

Does this smell clean???

Listening to high school students coming into a classroom: you hear “this room stinks” and “this room smells like feet and corn chips.”
We constantly hear people talking about smells weather bad smells or good smells, even when your reading dating site profiles they say: “want a person that’s nice kind and smells clean.” we are obsessed with the smell of clean, and the idea of clean and we don’t have any idea of what actually clean is.
“In her new book, The Dirt on Clean: An Unsanitized History, Katherine Ashenburg looks at the fascinating history of cleanliness — or the lack thereof — and how humans’ obsession with hygiene has led to today’s over sanitized world.”
Let’s see when and where this obsession started, according to Katherine Ashenburg: “Oddly enough it was the civil war that got America into being clean. Fredrick Law Olmsted, had proved that simple soap and water could significantly reduce military mortality rates and by the end of the war, cleanliness was patriotic, progressive, and distinctively American.”
The Civil war started the cleanliness ball going but it took advertisement to keep the ball rolling: Enter James Gamble of famously known P&G:(Proctor & Gamble): creater soaps surprisingly the soap he created became a household word, when it was invented it was such a hit that:

“(P&G) devoted $11,000 to an advertising budget for this one product”
The soap is none other than “IVORY” which name came from:

“45th Psalm in the Bible, When he reached verse eight, Harley was inspired:” by these words,
“All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad.”
And the clean obsession was born and at the helm was advertisement!!!
Katherine Ashenburg put it this way: “Americans are obsessed with odor and washing, Ashenburg writes. Magazine ads from the 1930s warned women that they could be spinsters forever if they had body odor. Today the market is full of products to keep Americans germ-free, including padded covers designed to keep babies’ hands off germ-laden supermarket carts” and Ivory soap advertisement was born.
advertising agencies didn’t just promote body odor it move on to other odiferous areas like the mouth!!!
In comes Listerine:

“How Listerine Made Americans Terrified of Bad Breath -There’s a reason why Listerine is so nasty—it wasn’t originally meant to go in your mouth. When Joseph Lawrence invented the alcohol-based liquid in 1879, he created it as disinfectant for surgery.”
The advertisement was:

“Bad breath I mean halitosis was secretly holding you back, and only Listerine could fix it.”
Bad breath wasn’t really a thing people worried about until Listerine was invented, and same with body odor and the invention of deodorant; in fact, the Association of American Soap and Glycerine Producers created something called the Cleanliness Institute in 1927 as a way for Big Soap to make people feel real self-conscious about their hygiene. Imagine that, the beauty industry manufacturing problems just to profit off of people’s insecurities…
“The average American’s daily hygiene ritual would seem unusual—nay, obsessive—to our forebears a hundred years ago. From mouthwash to deodorant, most of our hygiene products were invented in the past century. To sell them, the advertising industry had to create pseudoscientific maladies like “bad breath” and “body odor.”
And we got rid of the bad smells we had to replace them good smells, like fruit smells, flower smells. And “Who doesn’t like the smell of fresh apple pie???” So we made a market for this, a place that creates, investigates and researchers “smells”
If you have the need to know” what smells clean,” you can ask “Suzanne McCormick, she is method’s senior director of fragrance and she once was asked, “do scent preferences change with age?” and she said “not exactly. Apparently, all fragrance selection is personal, made up of memory connections whereby smell becomes like a photograph for your nose. So what ever your age, you’re going to pick smells that remind you of good memories that made you feel happy/safe/good”
She continues: “Our fragrances start with the hook of a recognisable natural note, such as flowers or citrus, not ammonia or bleach. All of them smell gorgeous, evoke a different atmosphere and help to keep your home smelling natural, not of synthetic cleaning products which are often full of harmful toxins’.”

Moreover: “Cleaning products, perfumes, deodorants, fragrant candles, incense, urinal and towlet, smell goods and home odor fragrances. Outselling meat and food in America!!!” because we trust the smell of everything and most of these smell are manufactured and fabricated in a laboratory. And this is where the train goes off the track, because there is a down side to all this cleaning and smelling clean obsession!!!

The Downfall of this Obsession
We start to think, “hey, if cleaning is healthy than being extra clean should be more healthy” So every chance you get you go “Stepping into a hot, steamy shower every day isn’t just comforting — it also seems like the proper adult thing to do” However “Daily washing is not necessary for most people,” dermatologist Dr. Tsippora Shainhouse says. “It washes off natural oils, and leaves skin dry and at risk for irritation.” She recommends showering every other day. “This will help to rinse off dead skin cells and grease, as well as superficial bacteria and yeasts, which can lead to body odor, acne-type flares, and rashes in some people,”
And after a good shower need some deodorant maybe an antiperspirant but remember: “antiperspirants containing aluminum may cause gene instability in breast tissue, not to mention the neurotoxic effects associated with the metal generally. Parabens and phthalates, chemical ingredients both frequently found in deodorant, can also disrupt your hormones”
Also brusing teeth to much: Do you know?: “Acid naturally erodes enamel, and brushing can push the acid further into your teeth. It’s best to stick to the twice-a-day rule”
“Besides, disinfectant cleaner is usually unnecessary for everyday cleaning, according to the Environmental Working Group, and could trigger asthma and other allergies.”

There is a financial price too pay also
“Taking your hygiene a little too seriously can actually be harmful, not to mention expensive –”
Body and face soap is a $3.1 billion industry annually, according to Nielsen, and the US Census Bureau reports people spend $4.3 billion on shampoo a year.
The same can also be said for hand sanitizer, which promises to zap all those nasty, disease-causing germs people had never really worried about until the last 20 years or so. Since it became a soccer-mom staple in the late-’90s, hand sanitizer sales have shot up to $118 million a year,
IN CONCLUSION:
The addage “cleanliness is next to Godliness.” comes to mind however in its inception, America didn’t try to clean to get closer to God but to help soldiers and combat early mortality, Then we made products, that help the country live longer, however in the pursuit of making new and more products we found out we can make more money by advertisement and even more money with deceptive adverisement. So instead of making a product to help people we lied to sell products and promote fear. Losing the original purpose of soap to get people clean!!!
“Deceptive ads harm consumers by causing them to have false beliefs about the nature of the products being advertised and thereby causing them to make different purchasing decisions than they would have made otherwise (and purchase things unsuitable for their needs…!!!”
(This is the definition of deceptive ads and it is the exact process of selling “clean!!!”)

Follow The Leader

American families today are always in a constant fluster because of the original family dynamic. The dynamic constantly challenged, with children, family chores, finances, and leadership:
In America we have many family dynamics but for time sake we will only talk about two: the husband and wife, and the single-parent. 

Both have there own particular issues or problems: here are just a few
A. Husband and Wife(issues)

1. The in-law

2. Financial Decision

3. Trading Traditions

4. Child-rearing

5. Career Decisions

B. Single-parent family even more: 

1. Visitation and custody problems. 

2. The effects of continuing conflict between the parents. 

3. Less opportunity for parents and children to spend time together. 

4. Effects of the breakup on children’s school performance and peer relations. Disruptions of extended family relationships. 

5. Problems caused by the parents’ dating and entering new relationships.

As you see, families are in a constant battleground of conflict, but on the other hand family is also a place where we can come to be “restored,” and rejuvenated from the external problem of the outside world!!! 

So How do we navigate this battlefield? With all it outside influences!!! Two of the biggest influencers is work and leadership issues, like Who’s in Charge of the family” or who’s the leader???
Leadership involves:

1. establishing a clear vision,

2. sharing that vision with others so that they will follow willingly,

3. providing the information, knowledge and methods to realize that vision, and

coordinating and balancing the conflicting interests of all members and stakeholders.

A leader steps up in times of crisis, and is able to think and act creatively in difficult situations.

Leadership is hard enough with an organization, but in single-parent situations it become very problematic especially when blending families but with the husband and wife partnerships its almost impossible!!!
I will elaborate: single families have overwhelming odd, but has well established leaderlship, which is “Mom or Dad,”that is only parent in the home. Only other big issue might be, if the parent want to become blended and then it can go from overwhelming to impossible. Where the new parent is put into a tough (Brady Bunch) type situation. Where the Mom had to be, “Mom, Dad, and Alice.” and being the leader/Mom becomes pretty hard to turn-off when the boyfriend comes around also she also have to deal with the trust issue’s in the house!!! “Wow”!!! So much to do!!!

Dual parenting situation are also tough when power is not established nor negotiated. This can be trying and just as overwhelming, you might even call it impossible, because the lines of power will become blurred!!! Making for a very uncomfortable and sometimes tragic situation, which over time will find the lesser custodial parent on the outside looking in!!! 

As you see, Relationships are hard,  but working together and compromise will help to lessen tension and bring you closer together. I hope this quote is a better way to look at the exchange of power!!!:
“When a man loves a women she becomes his weakness. When a women loves a man he becomes her strength. This is called “Exchange of Power.”

Easter to Resurrection Sunday is not just a name CHANGE

Change happens over time it involves compromise, trust, faith, and believing in something or someone. Like with when you give a child a dime and then say “I will give you this nickle for that dime, and they “exchange” the dime for the much bigger nickle!!! Change also involves exchange and the definition of exchange is: an act of giving one thing and receiving another (especially of the same type or value) in return.

“negotiations should eventually lead to an exchange of land for peace” (remember without the benefit of the original product or thing)!!!
Today has been called Easter for many, many, years Webster Dictionary call it “the MOST IMPORTANT and OLDEST FESTIVAL of the Christian Church, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ and held (in the Western Church) between March 21 and April 25, on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the northern spring equinox.”
However some modern church’s Today are calling it “Resurrection Sunday!!!” you might say “small change” or “same difference” but to call it by a new name also gives it new mean and a new history: taking away from Easter great celebration and rich history.
Resurrection Sunday is an interpretation or translation of what happened, not a reason or explanation of why we celebrate this great Holiday. Its like calling Christmas: Jesus Born Day, and not explaining the season, the songs, the presents, the nativity scene and even Santa Claus est,,,!!
Some people might say it not that serious but in these times of political upheaval, racial, and religious tention. I believe it is!!! Because based on on our last two Presidential Choses, change is a very big deal!!! So please: When adopting new words or phrases or changing to what consitered normal or to say modernizing, something to make it cool, realize this: IS THE EXCHANGE WORTH THE CHANGE???
Love you all and as we have said for many many years and HAPPY EASTER!!!

Dont compromise your name trying to be a title

“Good Morning”  “Coach” was the statement that caught my attention, and made me come to question: Why is it so very hard for some people to give up their titles after work, after the game, and after retirement!!!  I think it’s because in life we search for significants in our work, in our live, in our relationship, our church, and our family, and these title’s sound better to most people than their original birth name!!!  Titles are nice and a way to explain hierarchy and personal postions however for your personal interaction only your name is required!!! Julie Kagawa, said in the book titled “Summer’s Crossing”

” Names.  What’s in a name, really? I mean, besides a bunch of

letters or sounds strung together to make a word. Does a

rose by any other name really smell as sweet? Would the

most famous love story in the world be as poignant if it was

called Romeo and Gertrude? Why is what we call ourselves so important?

So be who you are and not just the title they call you!!! And please make someone happy ☺

The fear of 100% honesty

In my daily research, I discovered a relationship survey that I found fascinating. It was in USA Today, and the piece was about a survey for the new book that came out in Feb/2017 Its called “The Normal Bar.” Which discussed the “New Normal” in relationships. The book explores relationships in the U.S. and around the world!!! It stated:
“Researchers who solicited responses to an online survey of almost 100,000 people from around the world, including 23,000 in the USA, get at that question and more than 1,000 others in a new book called The Normal Bar, out Feb. 5.”
Three things which I thought was wonderfully different about this book is the area’s the author covered, the three topics were:
1. About romance

2. Amount of Major secrets in relationships

3. And lastly the amount of secrets in happy relationships.
The average young person considers Romance pasa because we’re in the days of “booty calls” “one night stands” and “T.H.O.T.’s”(that h. over there) However there still is a large group of people that want romance, This subject was covered well and the book revealed it this way: 
“In the USA, the survey found that of 1,218 respondents answering a question about romance, almost 29% of women and 44% of men say it bothers them “a lot” that their partner is not more romantic. “It bothers them” So maybe music and media are wrong men are looking for more than a “easy piece” or a “quick piece” a large group of men are looking for romance and as the research said, “Lots of Romance.”
This article was truly a nice read and a treasure of great tidbits.  It also covered area’s from average relationships, to average sex in relationships, but one of the most fascinating subjects I thought in the article was: major secrets amoung average couple and the average to major secrets amoung happy couples.
“43% of men and 33% of women say they are keeping a major secret from their partner.”
“Even among the happiest couples, the survey found 27% were keeping some secrets.”
Wow I couldn’t believe that happy couple’s kept secrets, I alway thought honesty is the best policy, and now I wondering if it is, I know it should be in long-term relationships.  But now I’m thinking is a “little white-lie” ok in short-term relationship???
This was a great artical and it covered alot of relational ground, from desire for romance, to honesty, and we may not be able to revolve all these issue with this small critique, but let me leave you with this quote from the HuffPost article called: 100% honesty in your relationships, it might help:
“The challenge of being 100 percent honest lies in navigating our own resistance to exposing ourselves and expressing our true feelings, especially when we fear the consequences of doing so. But somewhere between withholding honesty and using it as a hurtful weapon there is a way of expressing the inconvenient truths, the hard and difficult ones that can bring people closer together,…

 

Have a safe and happy relationship!!!