Do You Want To Be A D.J? A Weekly Series: Week Three

Week Three: Getting a DJ Friend and Choosing Your Digital D.J.Software

Image result for all dj software companies

You got all your new equipment in the mail, and because it’s Christmas, it feels like Christmas, and the season to be jolly. You unwrap everything being careful, not to bump or drop any of your new or used products.

Let’s take an inventory: Speakers, make sure they are not home speakers but dj speakers, Headphones, they can’t be wireless because you can be tethered to your connector you have to wired to it, and it would be good to have two wiremounts just-in-case, so make sure they are dj headphones. Next is microphones you can get one from the pawn shop but I would do it, because it has been spit on and who-knows-what is on it, “get it new” and make sure it come with a wire or you buy the cord with it, now check the connector, turntables, cd player, and mixer, but that not it because the machine don’t run unless you have gas.

The gas for this machine is “Music” and DJ software but music is your life source and your life blood. The problem is where do I get music? What type of software download do I need? and Lastly, How do I get my music from the source into the software?

Warning: These are some big questions and if you go straight to google or YouTube, you will listen to plenty of guys that will tell you thing that make you pay a lot of money, and will leave you frustrated with: lost money, a whole lot of unusable music downloads, and no place to put them, that’s if you get any music downloads at all, as to say music downloads that are ready to play from your software.

So this is part three, find a DJ friend or one in the club or place you would eventually like to DJ, and ask him or her to help you with the process of: How to get music? What software do you need? Or and Lastly How to actually download this music into you chosen software. You might have the ability to get them to help you but I used cash, not much but I promise you it will work and you will be happy that you went this route, because it’s a whole lot cheaper.

After you found this friend, you can follow youtube and all the book and it will go smoothly and you won’t lose your enthusiasm or passion and become frustrated, now let’s move on.

What is the best DJ software? Which DJ software is best for me? The answers to these questions rely on a few factors, one being your budget and next your level of understanding DJ software and controllers as a whole…Today that trend is digital setups for DJ’s, which you need both equipment and most importantly software to get you properly rolling. We highlight the canvas of it all, as we go through the best DJ software in the market today.(

What is DJ software? Image result for software

it is basically a computer program that emulates the traditional mixer, turntables and effects processing a DJ usually uses when scratching or mixing and matching songs. More specifically, for playing (aka ‘presenting’) media to an audience during performances or recording DJ mixes onto a track, whether it be a giant mixtape or merely a portion of the song dedicated to some scratching or beat matching. To keep it simple, though: DJ software is the result of advanced technology…software you run on your computer. (

How to choose your DJ software

Some are free, some… provide the trials so this helps you see if a specific software you’re looking at is worth (the) money. (Some) have (add-ons) specifically made for them, and some (all you need is) a mouse.

“The top two DJ software we list (Serato and Traktor Pro) are pretty stingy when it comes to compatible gear. That has both pros and cons, one giving you some security knowing that if you purchase the software as well as some gear that’s stated to be ‘compatible’ then you’re good to go and feeling warm and fuzzy inside. However, if you already have a DJ controller or want more of a broad-based DJ controller you should go with a different software such as VirtualDJ or Ableton. Although you are sacrificing some extra features with this option, so pick your poison.

Lastly, don’t forget that you’ll need a proper piece (or pieces in today’s age) of equipment to run alongside your software or you won’t be able to really use it. Read our best DJ controller article to help you with that if you’re still on the lookout.”(

“Our picks for the best DJ software

The following is our top picks for the best DJ software (we went with (5) of them). If you were in need of DJ apps for your smart device, be sure to read that guide as well. Below, the first few are what we recommend going with depending on your needs, but the others may pertain to you as well. We provide a link to their free trials, full versions, community, as well as some other resources helping explain what exactly they are (videos and what not). Let us know which one you go with!

Serato DJ Image result for serato dj software

Full Version | Free Trial (Serato Intro)

This is one our top picks for the best DJ software. How could we not? There was a close tie between this and Traktor Pro, but we’ll explain the few differences between each other. We’ve basically gone with Serato DJ because it is the standard among most of the top DJ’s we’ve spoken to. But we’ll be honest, it’s not easy choosing to list this first. The hottest debate nowadays is Serto vs. Traktor? Which program is better? Both have their pluses.

Serato DJ is most famous for their scratch emulation software which allows us to literally scratch any sound file we have on the computer. You can transform an mp3 file into a real record (you’ll need a controller to do it by hand). This makes traditional DJ’s mad. What happened to digging in the crates? Finding a rare record nobody has so only you can scratch it? Well, things are completely different now.

Serato also gives us numerous other features. These include vinyl and CD-J control, easy library management for switching between songs and matching beats, cues and loops to trigger and order, easy programming, add FX to songs and tracks, trigger some samples during tracks, cut, cue, loop, and more. The most impressive part of Serato is probably the interface as it is very aesthetically pleasing and organizes a lot of features into an easy package.

What’s nice is that Serato isn’t just limited to professionals only. It’s great for beginners (although it will definitely take some learning) and once you get the jist of it, you can use it pretty fresh out of the box. The more fancy features will take some familiarity, so it’ll be an investment once you’re ready to keep going.

What I found a bit disappointing was their vinyl scratching emulation software is sold separate. For more information on that you can buy Serato Scratch Live for a decent price.

There’s also a ton of compatible controllers to go along with Serato. But be careful with this; some are listed specifically to be for Serato while others are universal. The made-for-Serato gear works relatively seamlessly while other more broad DJ controllers can be a bit iffy. Some Serato controllers we’ve reviewed include the Akai AMX and Akai AFX controllers, but these are just to name a few. There are mixers, controllers, faders, and even more, so shop around for those if you plan on going big.

Here are some helpful Serato DJ resources:

Native Instruments Traktor Pro Image result for native instruments traktor pro software

Full Version | Free Trial

Native Instruments is a huge player in the innovation game with music equipment in general, and their Traktor Pro 2 is one of the best DJ software picks and is the other heavy hitter in the market. To us it’s like PC vs. Mac — everybody has their preference as they both work intended and offer us more features than we can count. What would separate the two is basically your budget; Traktor Pro runs a bit more expensive since it is only truly compatible with gear made specifically by Native Instruments, although some equipment will work decently. The universal gear isn’t as easy to use as it is with Serato. Native Instruments does this so you buy only their or brand’s they’ve approved. So not only will you have to spend money on the software itself, but the N.I. gear along with it to properly control it – gear you already have probably won’t work. They have quite a lot of gear available, too, so if your budget is up there you can get pretty crazy with it.

The main features of Traktor Pro 2 include 4-deck control, looping and cues, over 30 built-in effects, on-the-fly remixing and re-editing of tracks, and easy browsing of your sounds and tracks. These are pretty close to Serato so when it comes to differences there aren’t much besides a few dollars in price and ready-made controllers for each.

NI’s scratch emulation software is also sold separately, which is where they get you in terms of price. Traktor Pro 2 is around $100 retail, but their scratch software is sold separately which starts at five bills. Check their Traktor Scratch Pro 2 pricing for more details and reviews (comes with an audio interface too).

Traktor Pro 2 resources:

VirtualDJ Pro Image result for VirtualDJ Pro software

Full Versions | Free Download

Here’s another popular pick as the best DJ software in the market, albeit not as widespread as Traktor or Serato. This is recommended for those who want more of a broad software that will work pretty well with most standard USB or MIDI DJ controllers. It’s not as monopoly based when it comes to gear and software integration which is why we sometimes like this over the expensive Serato and Traktor choices.

Here are some standout features of VirtualDJ: Compatible with Mac and PC, song mixing, FX application, play two or more tracks at the same time, change speed, cross-fade, cues and more. Standard features here but it’s very solid and compatible with most DJ equipment. This is also recommended for beginners who will be doing less daunting shows and want simplicity. Here’s a short video explaining it.

Deckadance Image result for deckadance software

Full Version | Free Trial

This is made the same company as FL Studio as we saw their program make an appearance in our best digital audio workstation article. Image-Line is very reliable when it comes to gear and software so we’re confident when using this knowing it’s reliable and fully functional, it just isn’t a common software you’ll see talked about in the online DJ community.

Deckadance gives us some decent features here: Up to four deck control, VST compatible, MIDI control, smart knobs (link interface targets to one particular knob), FX chaining, low/mid/high band control and customize the interface. What’s most impressive is the fact that it can be either a standalone program and can be linked as a VSTi in your DAW of choice. You can also combine it with any digital vinyl software, such as Serato or VirtualDJ. It’s pretty cheap as compared to other DJ software out there as well.

Here’s a video introduction of Deckadance to see a little more of it.

Mixxx Image result for Mixxx software

Free Download

This one is for you if you’re looking for the best free DJ software. Mixxx is open-source, so we’ve got some creative minds collaborating together to work on improvements and additional features. The lack of price gives us a “why not?” mind-state, so if you have the time, give it a go to see if it’s right for you. Here are some core features of Mixxx: Crossfading with auto DJ, most sound format compatible, waveform displays and summaries, Mac and PC compatible, BPM detection, vinyl emulation, loops and cues, adjustable EQ, and a lot more. Mixxx is something to take a look at it not only because it’s free but due to the power it holds in terms of overall features. This is definitely a sleep in the “best dj mixer” talk.

Here’s a cool little video overview of Mixxx.”(

Continue on week 3.5 for more option on “Choosing Your Digital D.J.Software” and Choose Wisely!!!!


Do Your Want To Be A D.J. A Weekly Series: Week Two

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Week 2: Researching and Picking Out DJ Equipment


Waking Up today  I felt very passionate about my desire to be a DJ, because of that Day One article, so I will take that enthusiasm to my next step which is researching for my DJ equipment. The article from Day One was really helpful, with what to look for in equipment, it said “Be Economical” so with that idea in mind. let’s get on some web sites and look for product.


The first site I’m going to go is google, I typed into my search “what is good equipment for beginners DJ’s?”   Wow after two hours on line this article had everything I was looking for, with Information and pictures.  

The Best DJ Controller for Beginners List

Image result for Pioneer DDJ-SB2

Pioneer DDJ-SB2

The Pioneer DDJ-SB2 is the company’s entry level pro DJ controller. Not only is it beginner friendly, it’s good to go for shows. As you get used to the device you’ll quickly find out that it’s fully loaded for it’s price. I mean it has four decks for queuing tracks. This is the only controller on the list that will give you access to this advanced skill-set. It has extremely good sound quality and an intuitive layout. Beginners who learn to use to it’s limits will be able to use any controller on the market. It’s robust and definitely built to last. Comes with a sound card and features that blow everything else on this list out of the water.

Detailed Review of the Pioneer DDJ-SB2.

Numark Mixtrack 3

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DJs need to give themselves freedom to explore their trade. This piece of gear is anything but restrictive in that sense. This controller lets you experiment and manipulate music like a pro. The Numark Mixtrack 3 is an amazing DJ Controller enough features to hone your trade. For the price, the DJ controller is a great bargain. It’s biggest draw are the large faders on each deck. They allow for some real accuracy that most kits don’t have. This precision will go a long way in teaching you how to find the perfect balance.

Read the Full Review Here

Hercules DJControl Compact Controller

Image result for Hercules DJControl Compact Controller

This is one of the most cost efficient controllers on the list. Intended for people who are on the fence and just want to dip their feet in before fully investing in equipment. This has all the baseline features that are fundamental in more expensive gear and more than covers the basics of DJing. Basically if you need to learn something, it will be one this controller. Plus at the cost it’s very good for figuring out if DJing is for you in the first place.  This will definitely take you to an intermediate user level and get you going. One major bonus is the full version of the software comes with this so there are no other fees if you want to dive in a bit more.


Read the Full Review Here


Numark Party Mix

Image result for Numark Party Mix

All in all this is a very good entry into DJing for youngsters and hobbyists. The software is extremely easy to use. It has more settings and features to learn than the Hercules mentioned above and it’s perfect for mixing small parties and comes with a built in light show. The biggest feature is the soundcard, you can hook this up to an RCA speaker output without additional gear.

Read the Full Review Here

Gemini SLATE 2-Channel Serato Dj Intro Controller

Image result for Gemini SLATE 2-Channel Serato Dj Intro Controller

This is the best mid range controller for beginners. It’s a two deck system with a full set of features. The controller is a high quality build with great controls like extremely sensitive capacitive jog wheels. The device is portable and can take you from beginner to running a live show without any problems. An onboard soundcard means you don’t need to make that extra purchase to push forward your DJing career. One noticeable difference is Gemini likes to put action pads above the jog wheels. It takes a little bit to get used to if you’re used to alternative layouts.

These are my top picks for someone who would be interested in getting started with an entry level controller. I chose these more for people who are looking to dabble to see if the hobby is a fit for them. As such the price points are low because most of these are a beginner dj controller. That said most of these controllers have more features than other similarly priced models and stand above in quality and reviews. If you’re willing to pay for the best and want to start with the top of the line, definitely check out this DDJ SR review. Whether you start at the high or low end. You want to be able to explore and grow your skills without needing to upgrade and find something that works within your budget. With these controllers you won’t ever feel restrained and they’ll take you far.(

Now after carefully reading and comparison of all the equipment and looking at my budget, thinking “be economical” I chose DJ2GO2, Numark because I felt it offered me a lot of thing that i am looking for, Such as: compact size, ready to go right out of the box, it’s a great chose for beginners, and it was 79.00 dollars a great price for my budget.  



Image result for DJ2GO2

The DJ2GO2 is a portable, pocket-sized DJ controller that goes with you everywhere. It’s equipped with a built-in sound card and Serato DJ intro (Serato DJ upgrade ready), which makes this the smallest DJ controller around. It fits on top of your laptop so you’re ready for action in no time, without taking up any unnecessary space. It’s perfect for using for small gigs, prepping your gigs, and a great backup for those “just in case” moments. There are endless possibilities, but most importantly, you can go anywhere with DJ2GO2.


All in all this is a very good entry into DJing for youngsters and hobbiest

Its also known as “The Numark Party Mix”  it’s great for beginners, youth, and hobbyist.  It’s also great for a person that wants to rock the party because it’s box,  just can hook up to a speaker system and you can party like the big boys. Lately it comes with a partial download of software however if your like, you can buy the full version, so you move-on to the bigger connectors if you like and you won’t have to buy any new software. Plus its small enough to go on my laptop and will fit in my laptop bag when going from party to party.

Other thing I will purchase with my with my portable connector is a set of headphones, and speakers maybe Numark 508’s?  

Buying My Products

When i purchase things over the price of twenty-five dollars, I go online because most of the time it’s cheaper, but you make the chose you need to get the products you want.   So my chose is big three Amazon, Walmart, and Best Buy, on-line of course.  Looking around their websites to see who has it, which has the better price and shipping and I can order my products.  Before ordering remember to first I check the comment section as I do with Amazon, to see how its rated, what are the comments about, and if there are any downsides to any of the products. Wow all comments were positive only a few negative and they were about software issues like(availability), and the other was mad that the seller did not inform him he would need one additional cord. So I’m ready to put it in the cart, Wow” “Out Of Stock!!!” On to Walmart, “YES” but they don’t have the microphone cord I need, it’s a “Cable Matters XLR Cable” so i will check amazon for the cord and maybe pick-up the headphones there too. After that maybe check around for those speakers!!!

All three thing on there way, when they arrive we will have Week three, Week Three: Unwrapping, Week Three will be: Getting a DJ Friend and Choosing Digital D.J. Software,  Week 3.5 Cont. Choosing Digital D.J. Software, and Week Four and Five (it’s such a big undertaking, IT TAKES TWO WEEK, so to read for understand!!!) They will be titled: Going Getting Music it’s not just a field trip to the Public Library, to set up my music library.  Keep The Passion and Enthusiasm!!!     

The Boy and The Wise Man (Safe Teen Dating After Fallout Of The Sexual Harassment and #METOO Movement)

Image result for The boy staring attractive to a girl

On January first an American boy was in non-descriptive mall in a favorite town and saw a girl. He smiled at her and she smiled back, then he walked away following his mom, they we leaving for home.  As his mom is driving out of the parking lot, he sees her again as he perceives her also going home and he smiles again.  Traveling down the highway,  he ask his mom, “Mom? How do you know if someone likes you… um…if you like them?” She smiles and says; “Wow, my babies growing-up.” Then she answered him, with a question: What’s her name, he answered her, I don’t know. Then mom asked another question “Who is she?” He finally answered: Mom, I don’t know, I saw her in the mall and she smiled at me and then when we just left the mall, I looked into a car and saw her smiling at me again. His Mother said “Awww,  “Well when we get home you can call your father I think he can help you with this.” “Then after you and him talk, then if you have any more questions, I will try to clear them up.”  Feeling comfortable, he sat back in his seat quietly formulating questions he would ask his father.

Image result for mother and teen son talking in a car

An hour later they arrived home and Mom began cooking dinner as John finished his homework.  When dinner was ready his mom called him to the table and they continued to talk about his “unknown friend.”  After a while the boy noticed the clock and said “Mom”, “ its ten o’clock and we talked so much that I can’t talk to Dad until tomorrow.” he continued “but It’s OK because talking with you was great.”

As he prepared for bed he continued to think about “her” the girl in the mall, he also thought about the conversation he was having with his mother about her, Turned on his television as he always does, not realizing the news was on as he smiling, as he fell asleep.

The television was on CNN as they had a special exclusive about the sexual harassment and the “ME TOO” Movement.   His dreaming was invaded by the news and images of “her,”  all mango-ed together.

As the dream began, he was at the mall feel the sweetness of seeing her again, then she disappeared and the dream switched to a man in a huge tower,  and he was walking toward the tower and the man and he went up to the man and asked the man “where am I?” and who are you?”

Image result for man Talking to a mystical wise man

The man said “you are in the village of Questions and I am “The Wish Man Of The Tower,” “You can ask me any question and I will answer honestly and accurately.”  So the boy asked the same questions he asked his mother, How do you know when a person you likes, likes you? And The Wise man answered: To answer that question I need more information. So then the boy told of the story of the girl at the mall looking at him and how they seemed to connect, and when he and her were leaving the mall in their separate cars, how she smiled when her car passed him and his Mom’s car.  The Wise man said “there are two ways I could this question, and here they are: You could tell by the way she smiled at you that she likes you or you can also tell how she seemed to look for you, then smile at you in the car, that she likes you.”

“The boy continued to ask another question, I have read in a couple of books,  If you like someone that you don’t know, you could ask friends about them, or follow them to places that they frequent and if you encounter them, walk up to them and tell them how you feel and that you like them and then ask her to go to a movie or something. The Wise Man answered with a question: “Where did you read this information?” The Boy answered “I got twi books called “how to be gentlemen” and “how to date a woman”. The Wise Man answered “throw those books away because they are about staking, condescending behavior, sexual harassment. Today’s women is different and after 2017 relationships require a lot more step than the engagement tool or encounters of the past.  Sit down and allow me to explain.

“Relationships have changed, in the era of sexual harassment and Me Too, because years ago a man could leave work and meetup with women and “boys could be boys” however,  It seem like you might need a lawyer to answer question about dating today or to say in terms “Female and Male Communication and Interaction”  but let me try to tackle it. The boy answered: “What? Female.. What?” The Wise Man said The FMCI (Female and Male Communication and Interaction) Let me explain after the 2017 relationship have to become a legalized contract with interaction clause. Because Men have been said to have acted so badly toward women and to avoid, mens losing all their stuff, future, career, lifestyle or livelihood,  men have to have all of their dating and female interactions worked out as a contract and video taped, to avoid any misinformation and confusion.

Image result for legal papers

The Boy asked, “Why?….What Happened?”  “Sexual Harassment and Me Too!!! Cried the Wish Man.”  I told you!!! Changed everything, after the sexual harrisment and metoo problem: taking a women out, requires many new things like: a lot of respect, distance, asking questions and maybe some disclosure forms. 

The disclosure form should include: the distance between individuals, or touching clause, and two or more consent form.  The touching clause, both  individuals agree to: the certain way to touch, certain place or places on your body to touch, and for how long to touch.” “Also” a no means no clause” to be signed in the presents of legal counsel and any and all interactions video digital or video taped.  Lastly  signing of a long term agreement that neither person will bring either person up on charges or try to destroy them in the newspaper, talk shows, social media or any future communication entity.”


The boy way shocked as said: “why is it so hard to have a relationship, has  it always been this way? ”  The Wise Man answered “I Told You!!!” “ever since sexual harassment in 2017 and The Me Too Movement” it changed” He went on to say Me Too – has become a viral hashtag, and spread to Facebook and Instagram as well as other social media outlets.

View image on Twitter

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 The Wise Man Continues “After the actions of one person, resorted in the response of the other person: That is the famious man considered acting badly and the woman responded by taking everything from said men, their: livelihood, jobs careers, and reputation, in one fail swoop.  It happened quickly A group of women charged them with sexually harassed that happened 20, 30, or even 40 years ago, and they can’t say anything because the victim are Right and They are Wrong, and BAM!!! Your job gone and your livelihood with it. One day your on top the next day your broke and can’t find anything or anyone to help you!!!”  


The Boy asked “How? Is this legal?” The Wise Man end his rant by saying: “This has nothing to do with legal, it’s moral, and if you are a moral problem for a company,organization or government entity,  You Are Out!!!”  “Even if it didn’t happen on company time or company property.”  Now listen and remember all that I told you and follow  all these legal steps to  insure you’re covered legally If and when go out with women, because the life, career, and reputation you save might be your own!!!


The boy asked in desperation, “is there any other way that I can do something so that this curse will not befalling me? The Wise Man said: “No there is no other way, if you don’t follow my advice, there will be a day that you appear on any award show, any newspaper, or any position of celebrity, there will be a group of women that you don’t remember, may have never seen or don’t know, these avengers will come for you and will kill your life,career, and reputation.” The Boy answered with “GOOD LUCK!!!”   

Image result for taken good luck


Do You Want To Be A D.J? A Weekly Series: Week One


Image result for Do You want to Be A DJ

Have you ever had an Epiphany watching a movie or a person doing something, and say to yourself, “Wow I’ve always wanted to do that.” I’m a person with a never ending desire  and I always have something in my idea cannon that i want to try, “Just Once.” Last month it was going back to school and trying law, and weeks before that it was getting a piccolo and learning how to play it, with this daily and monthly desire to learn and do something new, I also have have life long dreams that come to mind often. These are the dreams that I try to live “out loud,” by finding people and placing people in my life, that do this thing and indirectly asking questions about the job or hobby and picking up tip from them to see if I like to learn to do it somewhere in the future.   One of these ideas is not actually becoming a D.J. but to get a d.j. Set up and get out the music and the songs that are trapped in my head, like when I hear a new song and say: “its missing something” or I say to friends, I went on “Youtube last night” and listen to old songs all night, and really enjoyed myself,””but I wish I could make my own song.”  So today I’m going to do it, and I’m going to take you along with me in my quest: To learn to learn to be a D.J. and maybe as Jack Black said in one of his “stand up” performances, “Come up with the perfect song.”     

Day One:

On “” and looking at equipment to see what I need to buy, Looking at all the controllers, speakers, lights, amplifiers,microphones, stands, boxes, ect I found myself overwhelmed, I quickly realized that I had no Idea what I’m looking for or how this stuff worked.  So I “Googled” How to be a D.J. for beginners: found the web site:  

How To Be A D.J.

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This blog includes pictures and everything, reading through it, it was a cornucopia of information that included a one word quiz after every chapter. The picture explained the illustrations and the quiz question kept you focused to reading more, I learned a lot about the career of D.J. ING from this site  but moreover I learned that I need to have a home studio and later I maybe I can use it for production, but don’t let me get too far ahead of myself. The site included a explained of analog and digital startups and the choice of equipment you will need to purchase. The great thing about the author he also suggested that you don’t buy new, he said: “buy your decks used and your mixer new.” The first chapter in the blog is:  

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Gathering Equipment:

Start with the basics. Being a DJ requires you to do a lot more than just play songs. Learning to structure a set, mix on the fly, and get a crowd moving all starts with your deck. Later on, you can invest in bigger speakers, a monitor, a MIDI controller, an audio interface, mics, and various plugins, depending on your ambitions for playing out, but a bare-bones basic DJ setup needs to include the following:

    • Two turntables or two CD players (or more, optionally)
    • 2-channel mixer
    • Headphones
    • Speakers
    • Mixing software (optional)                                                        (/

Other areas the author included on the blog are: deciding to go analog or digital, here’s where, as I told you earlier, that they explain the advantages and disadvantage of both areas Analog and Digital setups .

  • Analog setups will allow you to DJ in the most traditional way, learning the skills the way they were pioneered: scratching a stylus against vinyl. This will require you to collect a sizable collection of vinyl records to play, which can be somewhat expensive.
  • Digital set-ups allow you to be extremely mobile, and the learning curve will be much smaller when you’re working with a digital set-up. Learning to beatmatch and transition, for example, will be much easier with a BPM counter and a software system.(/

The author take you through the entire process of buying equipment and they are so helpful that in chapter four he suggest:”Be economical. Don’t invest in top-dollar equipment right away. Most of your money should be spent on turntables and a mixer. Forget the other stuff for now. And spend wisely — buy your decks used and your mixer new.”    

Image result for how to be a DJ gathering information

More areas in the blog are: Know what you need at your gig, this is where he helps you become economical and practical so you don’t carry too much equipment with you, you know what the equipment the venue has and you can can focus on the job you were hired for”playing the music.”

But In Chapter seven I liked that the author didn’t stops with equipment and responsibilities of the D,J. in goes right to the heart of the matter, The music. They suggest:                                                                                                    Image result for gathering music and cds 

That you Build a big collection of music. You know what else you need? Music. And you don’t want crappy, third-rate mp3 download versions of those songs either. To be a legit DJ, you’ll at least eventually have to pay for the music you get. For now, work with what you have, but know that it will be an expense later on in the game. You need to be a music expert. Hit up your friends and consult the charts, YouTube channels of record companies and websites catering especially to DJs such as Beatport. Here’s a list of genres to explore:

  • House
  • Trance
  • Techno
  • Electro
  • Glitch
  • Dark Alternative
  • Progressive
  • Breakbeat
  • Hardstyle
  • Hardcore
  • Downtempo
  • Jungle
  • Drum and Bass
  • Dubstep
  • Hip-Hop

This was a great article to start off my DJ career with and it taught me a lot,  Moreover the most prominent point the article made. and made a impression is that you have to be Professional and have FUN:

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Be professional. Show up to your events on-time and fully prepared. Give each gig your best effort. Have fun with the crowd, but keep your interactions professional and respectful, since you never know who’s watching.

  • Straight up, the DJ world is full of scumbags. You want to be that good apple that isn’t a part of the bunch. If you’re not professional, there are a zillion other guys and gals out there chomping at the bit to take your spot.

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Have fun. Imagine going to a show (or maybe you already have been witness to this) and seeing a DJ that’s busy pushing buttons like he’d rather be hauling rocks. It’s terrible. Watching a DJ that doesn’t even like their own music is practically worse than a three-piece polka band with earplugs. So make it clear that you’re enjoying yourself and the crowd will follow suit.

  • You’re totally allowed to go a bit crazy. The more you feel it, the more your inclinations will be spot on. The more spot on you are, the more the crowd wants you back.

My first day  was amazing and my choice of articles was awesome, because I found the blog of all blog.  The author had every scenario, every pitfall and help for growth all wrapped up in one article.   Also as article go, some will not have enough information and so your passion right out the door. However this article, didn’t stop my passion to become a a DJ, they only extended my enthusiasm. Because they were so helpful,  I really enjoyed the article, and to keep up with this good feeling.  Day two,  I will talk about researching new equipment on, Walmart and Craigslist looking for my New DJ equipment, So continue to follow me on day two!!!    




Divorce And How It Affects Us!!! Part II

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Divorce affect us all in many different ways, in part II  “Divorce and How it Affect Us,” I will show the similarities and differences of how divorce affects us: as individuals, legally and financially !!!

How Divorce Affects  Women

Feeling Guilty

The psychological effects of divorce on women are far-reaching, but one of the most basic emotions is guilt. This can be true if the woman initiated the divorce or not. Women in both situations may feel at fault for not working hard enough to make the marriage work, explains life coach Cindy Holbrook on her website for divorced women. If the woman initiated divorce, she may feel a sense of guilt for the demise of the marriage. This is especially true if there are children involved as women may feel as though they are responsible for breaking up a family and causing emotional trauma.

Experiencing Depression

The end of a marriage is devastating to both parties. Women, especially, may feel saddened by the sudden loss of their marriage. Their dreams for the future may be wrapped up in their marriage, and now that hope for the future appears to be gone. Increased responsibility combined with the realization that the life they envisioned no longer exists correlates with the fact that women are more likely to suffer from depression three years after a divorce, suggests Rocky Mountain Family Council.

Feeling Anxious

After a divorce, one may experience a great deal of anxiety. The future is uncertain and therefore, so is one’s security. Women may experience more stress as they may have solely or mostly relied on their husbands for financial support. Trying to figure out how to support themselves, and often times a family, may prove to be difficult. Despite this, there are many things one can do to lessen anxiety including eating healthy, meditating and exercising.

Positive Effects

Some of the effects of divorce can affect women’s lives positively. There are many factors that influence this, but many women report feeling a sense of relief especially if the relationship was particularly stressful towards the end. Mediator Kathleen O’Connell Corcoran explains that women may have a greater support system than men. Because of this, when they experience setbacks, they are likely to turn to them for comfort and guidance and move through the issues. Finally, women may be more likely to expand their personal and professional roles, suggests Corcoran. In the past, they may have limited themselves by focusing solely on their duties as wives and mothers. Now, they may seek out new careers, volunteer opportunities and social networking that will increase their esteem.(

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  1. Women initiate divorce twice as often as men

  2. 90% of divorced mothers have custody of their children (even if they did not receive it in court)

  3. 60% of people under poverty guidelines are divorced women and children

  4. Single mothers support up to four children on an average after-tax annual income of $12,200

  5. 65% divorced mothers receive no child support (figure based on all children who could be eligible, including never-married parents, when fathers have custody, and parents without court orders); 75% receive court-ordered child support (and rising since inception of uniform child support guidelines, mandatory garnishment and license renewal suspension)

  6. After divorce, women experience less stress and better adjustment in general than do men. The reasons for this are that (1) women are more likely to notice marital problems and to feel relief when such problems end, (2) women are more likely than men to rely on social support systems and help from others, and (3) women are more likely to experience an increase in self-esteem when they divorce and add new roles to their lives.

  7. Women who work and place their children in child care experience a greater stigma than men in the same position. Men in the same position often attract support and compassion.(

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They Lose Their Sense Of Identity

“My key breakthrough was realizing that I was defining myself with respect to my marriage,” said Denbaum. Even with multiple degrees and a successful career, he found himself lost in the process of his divorce. “I made the marriage the be all and end all, and when I saw that crumbling, I felt like my identity was crumbling.”

So what do you do? In order to rebuild confidence post-divorce, Denbaum suggests getting involved in a new activity or organization. “One really powerful thing for me was joining a non-profit group called the Mankind Project,” he said. There, he found his way to the New Warriors Men’s Organization, where he would meet weekly with groups of men going through hard times, coming together to listen and help each other in “a non-judgmental way.”

Their Paternal Instinct Is Challenged

“For me, family has always been important,” says Denbaum. “I grew up in a happy family, and I never doubted for a minute that I would get married and raise one of my own. I think just as there are maternal instincts in women, there is a paternal instinct in men.” He describes part of this paternal instinct as a longing to belong with the status quo, and to be a provider.

“If a man is feeling distraught or shameful [because of the impact his family is feeling from divorce], he might disappear from the picture,” said Denbaum. “Which is why most post-divorce men need to remain connected to their children, if they have them.”

When men maintain relationship with their kids, it eases those feelings of shame, and can re-instill that lost sense of belonging. “The love that can flow back and forth between you and your children is very healing in itself,” he said.

They Don’t Allow Themselves To Grieve Properly

“Bottling up feelings with no outlet leads men to experience feelings of depression,” said Denbaum. “As someone with no biological predisposition, I definitely think that the breakup of my marriage brought me to experience physiological problems like high blood pressure and mental ones like my battle with depression at the time.”

Rather than following this level of stress into a no-way-out mentality, Denbaum suggests that men see marriage counselors, regardless of the current state of their marriage. “I started seeing a marriage counselor on my own, before my divorce. My then-wife joined in for a while, but I continued on my own, even after the divorce was finalized, he said.

“Men have to break though the ‘I’ve got to do it myself and go it alone’ attitude,” he said. “Women are so much better about relying on one another, and this whole ‘big boys don’t cry’ mentality has had an entirely negative impact on men’s well-being.”

From The Many Stories From Your Tango:

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  1. Men are usually confronted with greater emotional adjustment problems than women. The reasons for this are related to the loss of intimacy, the loss of social connection, reduced finances, and the common interruption of the parental role.

  2. Men remarry more quickly than women.

  3. As compared to “deadbeat dads,” men who have shared parenting (joint legal custody), ample time with their children, and an understanding of and direct responsibility for activities and expenses of children stay involved in their children’s lives and are in greater compliance with child support obligations. There is also a greater satisfaction with child support amount when negotiated in mediation. Budgets are prepared, and responsibility divided in a way that parents understand.

  4. Men are initially more negative about divorce than women and devote more energy in attempting to salvage the marriage. (

More Effect


When a man loses his wife and his family, everything starts to go down the drain. Without help full blown depression can follow. Suddenly they feel they are in a pit that they cannot get out of. They start losing their grip on reality, losing interest and motivation, affecting every facet of their life leading to self-destruction.


Regardless of your disposition, divorce can totally change you. The anger that you feel towards those who’ve caused you pain and towards yourself can manifest in ways that even you would be surprised.

Loss of Self Esteem

When the women who promised to be there through thick and thin says she no longer wants to do anything with you, pride will be the first one to take a nosedive. Self esteem follows as you feel the whole foundation of your being shatter.

Loss of Status

Society judges a man by what he has, not by what he is. Divorce can bring all of the things you’ve worked so hard to achieve come crashing down. What will all those around you think when you’ve just lost your family? Will they treat you differently now? Will their self respect towards you be affected? Questions such as these will affect you and your status in many ways.

Alcohol and Drugs

To numb the pain and in order to get some form of relief from all the pain that one feels, one may turn to alcohol and even illegal substances. The problem is, the more one depends on these temporary relievers the more they start to drift away from the real solution.

Difficulty Trusting Women

The most damaging effect of divorce on men by far is the difficulty in trusting women or other people for that matter. While they may indeed recover from all the other effects mentioned above, they may also harden themselves to protect from further pain. This prevents them from ever developing new or lasting relationships that they need in order to make them whole again.

Divorce and its effects on men is one of the most difficult and painful situations that one will be faced with, but it is not impossible to overcome. As long as you are willing to take steps in order to make things better they eventually will, and while the pain and suffering that you might be feeling now is unbearable, in time they will pass as well.

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  1. Smoking habits

In a study published in the March 2013 edition of Public Health, researchers at the University of Toronto found that both sons and daughters of divorced families are significantly more likely to begin smoking than peers whose parents are married. In an analysis of 19,000 Americans, men whose parents divorced before they turned 18 had 48 percent higher odds of smoking than men with intact families. Women had 39 percent higher odds of picking up the habit. Lead author Esme Fuller-Thomson called the link “very disturbing.”

  1. Ritalin use

Dr. Strohschein, a sociologist at the University of Alberta, wanted to know what was behind the increase in children prescriptions for Ritalin over the past two decades. And so, in 2007, she analyzed data from a survey that was conducted between 1994 and 2000. In it, 5,000 children who did not use Ritalin, and were living in two-parent households, were interviewed. Over the six years, 13.2 percent of those kids experienced divorce. Of those children, 6.6 percent used Ritalin. Of the children living in intact households, 3.3 percent used Ritalin. Strohschein suggests that stress from the divorce could have altered the children’s mental health, and caused a dependence on Ritalin.

  1. Poor math and social skills

A 2011 study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison found that children of divorced parents often fall behind their classmates in math and social skills, and are more likely to suffer anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. The reason that math skills are affected is likely because learning math is cumulative. “If I do not understand that one plus one is two,” lead researcher Hyun Sik Kim says, “then I cannot understand multiplication.” Kim says it is unlikely that children of divorce will be able to catch up with their peers who live in more stable families.

  1. Susceptibility to sickness

In 1990, Jane Mauldon of the University of California at Berkeley found that children of divorce run a 35 percent risk of developing health problems, compared with a 26 percent risk among all children. Mauldon suggests their susceptibility to illness is likely due to “very significant stress” as their lives change dramatically. Divorce can also reduce the availability of health insurance, and may lead to a loss of certain factors that contribute to good health, including constant adult supervision and a safe environment. The risk of health problems is higher than average during the first four years after a family separation, but, curiously, can actually increase in the years following.

  1. An increased likelihood of dropping out of school

A 2010 study found that more than 78 percent of children in two-parent households graduated from high school by the age of 20. However, only 60 percent of those who went through a big family change — including divorce, death, or remarriage — graduated in the same amount of time. The younger a child is during the divorce, the more he or she may be affected. Also, the more change children are forced to go through, like a divorce followed by a remarriage, the more difficulty they may have finishing school.

  1. A propensity for crime

In 2009, the law firm Mishcon de Reya polled 2,000 people who had experienced divorce as a child in the preceding 20 years. And the results did not paint a positive picture of their experiences. The subjects reported witnessing aggression (42 percent), were forced to comfort an upset parent (49 percent), and had to lie for one or the other (24 percent). The outcome was one in 10 turned to crime, and 8 percent considered suicide.

  1. Higher risk of stroke

In 2010, researchers from the University of Toronto found a strong link between divorce and adult risk of stroke. However, the vast majority of adults whose parents divorced did not have strokes. “Let’s make sure we don’t have mass panic,” said lead researcher Esme Fuller-Thompson. “We don’t know divorce causes stroke, we just know this association exists.” She says the relationship could be due to exposure to stress, which can change a child’s physiology. She also noted that the time at which these children experienced divorce was in the 1950s, when it wasn’t as socially accepted as it is today.

  1. Greater chance of getting divorced

University of Utah research Nicholas H. Wolfinger in 2005 released a study showing that children of divorce are more likely to divorce as adults. Despite aspiring to stable relationships, children of divorce are more likely to marry as teens, as well as marry someone who also comes from a divorced family. Wolfinger’s research suggests that couples in which one spouse has divorced parents may be up to twice as likely to divorce. If both partners experienced divorce as children they are three times more likely to divorce themselves. Wolfinger said one of the reasons is that children from unstable families are more likely to marry young.

  1. An early death

And rounding out the dreary research is an eight-decade study and book called The Longevity Project by Howard Friedman and Leslie Martin. Starting in 1921, researchers tracked some 1,500 boys and girls throughout their lives. More than one-third of the participants experienced either parental divorce or the death of a parent before the age of 21. But it was only the children of divorced families who died on average almost five years earlier than children whose parents did not divorce. The deaths were from causes both natural and unnatural, but men were more likely to die of accidents or violence. Generally, divorce lowered the standard of living for the children, which made a particular difference in the life longevity of women.

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Surging Poverty Levels

Divorce breeds poverty, particularly for women and children. In the first 18 months following divorce, between 77 and 83 percent of mothers and their children live in poverty. With fewer economic resources, most children of divorce experience disruptions – changes in child care, living arrangements and schools – that create turmoil in their lives. Long-term effects of poverty from divorce are most obvious in girls. According to sociologist Molly Martin, girls raised by a divorced parent tend to live on welfare and require public housing as adults. Public dependency continues for their children who, as mothers, are three times more likely to go on welfare.

Children as Victims

Many sociologists believe that societies hoping to flourish and perpetuate must rear children responsibly. In most functioning societies, an intact family helps children develop strong moral character. Lacking such guidance, children of divorce are more likely to behave as social deviants. Specific findings reported by The Heritage Foundation are that these children are more likely to commit minor and serious crimes, run away from home, be suspended from school, smoke cigarettes, abuse alcohol, carry weapons, engage in physical fighting, and use marijuana and cocaine. And both male and female adolescents living in single-parent households have experimented with sex by age 11.

Lagging Academic Achievement

Divorce menaces society by disrupting children’s lives, which makes it harder for them to perform well in school and pursue higher education. Divorced parents who remain single have less time to supervise their child’s schoolwork or become involved in school activities. As a result, their children score lower on tests of cognitive development, verbal reasoning and math and science aptitude. Also, 58 percent of these children are classified as special needs as opposed to 31 percent of children in intact families. As for educational attainment, children of divorce are more likely to drop out of high school or not attend college (

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  • Children whose parents have divorced are increasingly the victims of abuse. They exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems, are involved more frequently in and drug abuse, and have higher rates of suicide.

  • Children of divorced parents perform more poorly in reading, spelling, and math. They also are more likely to repeat a grade and to have higher drop-out rates and lower rates of college graduation.

  • Families with children that were not poor before the divorce see their income drop as much as 50 percent. Almost 50 percent of the parents with children that are going through a divorce move into poverty after the divorce.

  • Religious worship, which has been linked to better health, longer marriages, and better Family life, drops after the parents divorce.

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Capital gains can be a killer

Divorce can come with big tax bills. In many cases, when a couple splits, they may immediately start scrambling to claim or divide assets. It’s not uncommon for a spouse to run and clear out bank accounts, cash in CDs and sell off stocks, bonds and other investments. Blinded by emotion and fear, Cobert said they can be hit with a harsh reality when tax time comes around.

“People are not often aware that there are consequences for taking out certain assets. Spouses may want to get the money or may need it for income, but the taxes can really add up,” said Cobert.

Let’s say the couple had $100,000 of investments in a joint account. If they liquidated portfolio and the cost basis of those stocks was $70,000, they could each be on the hook for $15,000 in capital gains. If the money was in a traditional IRA and they sold off the stock and took the money before they were age 59 ½, they could be not only on the hook for capital gains but an additional 10% penalty, as well.=

Spousal support quickly adds up

The granting of alimony (also known as “spousal support”) and how it is calculated varies significantly from state to state. Alimony is usually paid to the less-advantaged spouse and is often seen as a temporary measure to help them stay on their feet during the separation.

Landers said the first determining factor is the length of the marriage. Although it can vary, in most jurisdictions a couple must have been married for at least ten years for alimony to be a consideration. Other factors include how old the spouse is, whether or not they have a job, how much they earn, any other assets they have, the nature of the dissolution of the marriage, and the need.

“There is no set formula. It’s very subjective. You could be in the same state, have two different judges, and the same set of circumstances, and end up with very different conclusions,” said Landers.

Cobert also said it can vary widely, but in general, the “resource spouse” might have to pay 50% of their income minus 40% of the income being earned by the non-income spouse. Others say it often works out to ensure that both homes have around the same average income. Often, if there is a child involved, child support is the priority and is calculated first. In any case, if alimony payments are awarded, the paying spouse could have to pay a significant amount of their income to the other spouse for a number of years.

“It’s usually determined by the judge. That’s why we recommend Alternative Dispute Resolution so both parties can come to a fair agreement,” said Cobert.

Don’t forget the legal fees

No matter how amicable a divorce may be, there are going to be significant legal fees. Attorney fees add up quickly because, when combined, the couple is paying for not just one, but two legal teams. Even an amicable do-it-yourself-divorce can still cost over $1,500 in many jurisdictions. Landers said the problem is that when a relationship deteriorates to the point of divorce, very few couples do it amicably.

“If they were able to do it amicably, they might be able to go with mediation and it might not cost a lot of money. But if they were that amicable, they might not be getting a divorce,” said Landers.

And the more a couple disagrees and fights it out in court, the more expensive it becomes. Throw in a custody battle and a fight over alimony and assets, and legal fees could easily top $100,000 in many states. Things get even worse and more expensive when the spouses stop talking to one another and communicate only through their attorneys.

Cobert said ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution) and mediation has grown more popular in recent years as a way to more amicably and cheaply handle divorce disputes. He also recommends the couple consult with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who can analyze their assets and circumstances and help them proceed with the separation in a way that makes the best financial sense for both.

“More people are using CDFAs to run the numbers and come up with optional settlements. It’s usually a lot better to try to keep it out of the courts,” he said.

“The Financial Impact of Divorce” was written by Craig Guillot.   

After all the tears and pain of Divorce, I promise you, one day soon, the sun will come out!!!!

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Divorce And How It Affects Us!!! Part I

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The Other day I was listening in on a conversation of two people that met on date sight. They was at a sports bar having a after dinner snack, when I heard the women say, “are you single or divorced,”  and the man answered divorced. As he continued talking I thought to myself, “Wow I wonder about how divorce is going to affect that relationship,” then I though with the amount of divorces in America “close to fifty percent” I wonder what is the effects divorce on all of us. That’s how this blog came about.  

In 2010, Paul Amato published a review of research on divorce in the prestigious Journal of Marriage and Family. Here is the key take-away:

“At the end of the 20th century, 43% to 46% of marriages were predicted to end in dissolution. Because a small percentage of marriages end in permanent separation rather than divorce, the common belief that about half of all marriages are voluntarily disrupted is a reasonable approximation.” (Psychology Today)

So Paul Amato’s answer was yes: It is true that half of all marriages end in divorce or a permanent separation. And because this phenomenon occur so frequently I thought I write a blog about the “Effect of Divorce” and how most of Americans are actually  feeling.

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Divorce is: The dissolution of a marriage is almost always an unhappy event, at the very least marked by disappointment and the loss of dreams and expectations. In addition, there are usually many legal, financial, parental, emotional, and practical aspects that requires changes in responsibilities and routines, and it can take people years to regain equilibrium. Nevertheless, divorce serves an important function in legally—and emotionally—freeing people to form a more stable relationship.

One of the most significant events of the 20th century was the changing role and improving status of women in private and public life, along with greater expectations for happiness. Those same changes brought about a much talked-about rise in divorce rates and liberalization of divorce laws. Infidelity and financial upheavals are significant causes of divorce, but the major causes are emotional; partners grow emotionally distant, experience disappointments because of unmet (and often unrealistic) expectations, or develop separate visions of life.

The liberalization of divorce laws has fueled non-adversarial approaches to marital dissolution, such as negotiation and mediation. Such practices are especially beneficial for children, for whom divorce is almost always deeply distressing and whose needs are often overlooked in the process.

It is commonly believed that 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, but that is not the case. It is now estimated that only a third of marriages will face dissolution over time. Divorce is on the decline especially among the most educated. Experts believe that is because the educated marry later, when they are more mature and have had some relationship experience.

With marriage now deeply rooted in personal choice, people need an array of skills to work out the inevitable difficulties and disappointments that arise and lead to divorce(Psychology Today)

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Psychology of Divorce is both a legal process as well as a psychological process. The legal process is important but the psychological process and how it is played out by the couple largely determines the tone and the nature of the divorce. If the divorce begins badly it will end badly. And if it begins gentle there is a good chance that it will end amicable and constructive. The key is in understanding the emotional positions of the parties at the beginning, when one of the partners first states that he /she wants a divorce.

The most important psychodynamic of the divorce is the issue of mutuality and how it develops. In very few divorces do the two partners mutually decide on a divorce at the same time. Invariably, after some long period of reflection and consideration, one of the partners will decide that she can’t take the discomfort of the marriage anymore and is determined to end the marriage. Such decisions are not made lightly or impulsively. I have found that it is not unusual that the “initiator” has been ruminating about divorce for years. He or she has had an opportunity to mourn the loss of the dream associated with the marriage, has had time to think through what an alternative life would be like and has begun to prepare emotionally and in other ways for the end of the marriage. She may have made new friends who are not linked to her mate, may have started to achieve new credentials to be able to better earn money and in general started to live a new life.

The other partner, who we call the “non-initiator” may be anywhere on a continuum from resigned acceptance to utter shock and surprise. To the extent that the two partners are nearly equal the divorce can begin more easily. He announces he wants a divorce citing many years of unresolved unhappiness and numerous unsuccessful attempts at counseling. And although she might have been inclined to try a little longer she agrees that he is probably right and that they out to get divorced. In this situation the decision is nearly mutual and both are almost ready to begin negotiating the divorce. Contrast this situation with one in which he makes the same announcement but she reacts with surprise and terror. She is committed to the covenant they made in their wedding vows and believes that marriage is forever no matter what. She is aghast at the damage a divorce would do to the children and she is filled with fear for her loss of place in the community and the changes that would be necessary. She is outraged that he could even consider divorce and declares her complete opposition. This couple is in trouble.

Divorce is about change. There is often change in housing. There are economic changes, none of which are comfortable. There is change in social status and in the way the children’s lives are managed. And for most of us change is not welcome, often involves loss and often is scary. For the initiator there is a trade off. There will be uncomfortable changes and inevitable losses. But because life will improve-stress will be reduced, there will be an opportunity to find a more suitable mate, dating may be an exciting prospect— the losses are experienced as offset by the gains. For the non-initiator it depends where that person is on the continuum. If the decision to divorce is mutual or nearly mutual the non-initiator probably has also thought of the potential improvement in life, or if he hasn’t yet will quickly be able to do so. But for the non-initiator who is surprised or who doesn’t want the divorce there has been no opportunity to grieve the marriage, to make plans, to develop alternate scenarios or to prepare to be single there is nothing but loss and fear. And until the non-initiator has time to think things through and to come to emotional terms with the divorce he or she will not be ready to engage in reasonable discussions about how the partners should go about separating their lives.

If good divorce is possible only when both are ready to negotiate the burden of timing falls on the initiator. If you are the one who wants out you have to give your partner time to adjust, time to mourn and time to explore his/her own possibilities. Push too fast and your spouse retreats to the perceived safety of a lawyer who she thinks will “protect” her interests. Then you will have a long divorce. Although it is counter-intuitive the initiator of the divorce has a huge investment in the spouse feeling safe. So how the opening scenes are played is critical. When telling the spouse that you want a divorce you must use neutral language. “Our marriage hasn’t worked and I don’t think it will in the future so I want a divorce.” is neutral language. “I’m sick and tired of your bitching and selfishness and I can’t wait to get away from you.” Is provocative and will only assure defensiveness, denial and retaliation. So if you are the one to end the marriage planning how you will discuss it with your spouse and planning how you will manage while she/he comes to terms will largely determine whether your divorce is successful or simply a nightmare.

If you want to understand more I have fully described this process in an article called “Litigation, Mediation and the Psychology of Divorce” in The Journal of Psychiatry and Law. You can find the article on my website

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How might divorce affect me emotionally and physically?

Overall, divorced adults have worse physical and mental health compared to married adults. Divorced individuals frequently face:

Unhappiness. Divorced adults, on average, are less happy.

Depression. Divorced individuals, particularly women, are more vulnerable to depression. They have higher levels of stress, lower levels of psychological well-being, and poorer self-esteem.

Health problems. Divorced individuals see doctors more often, are more likely to suffer from serious illness, and have lower life expectancies.

False intimacy. Some divorced women and men (especially) substitute casual sex for closeness and intimacy. This may eventually produce greater feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, and lower self-esteem, and can even lead to substance abuse.

Substance abuse. Divorced adults, especially men, drink more alcohol than married adults, putting them at risk for addiction.

Divorce is not a reliable path to personal happiness. Those who do adjust to divorce the best tend to be younger and have more education, income, and social support from family and friends.

How might divorce affect my social life?

Research has found that divorce commonly affects an individual’s social life in the following ways:

Loneliness. On average, divorced individuals say they are lonelier.

Lost social network. Divorced individuals often lose contact with in-laws, married friends, and neighbors.

Fading relationships with co-workers. Sometimes relationships with co-workers fade following a divorce.

Distancing of close friendships. Your divorce may push away your close friends. It may cause them to worry about their own marriages, and they may distance themselves from you. Divorced individuals may feel socially awkward and may struggle to fit into a new social life.

Decreased contact with children. Divorced men are at great risk of losing contact with their children; most divorced fathers do not have regular contact with their children within a few years after the divorce.

Part II will explain in detail the effect of divorce on: Women, Men, Children, On society: Financially and Legally   


How To Get Your Car Ready For A Long Snowy Winter Part 3

Next, you might be the type that just don’t drive in the winter for many different reasons, and it’s your choice, So if you have to store your vehicle for the winter here is some tips: 

Five Tips For Storing Your Car During Winter


The cold season is fast approaching, and that’s a very tough time for a car, especially if you want it to stay new for as long as possible. Or maybe you just spoiled yourself by purchasing a beautiful classic car? In either case, if you are considering storing your car during the winter months, here are a few things to remember:

  1. First, make sure that the area where you plan to store your car is dry and safe, and that there aren’t any rodents that could cause damage to any components. There are some products on the market that will repel the pests, and it’s wise to block all orifices they could climb into, such as the tailpipes and air vents. It’s also good to lower the windows by a few centimetres to avoid trapping humidity in the cockpit.
  2. All vehicle fluids should be topped up, including fresh engine oil that will make restarting much easier the following spring. Keep the fuel tank full to prevent condensation, and add a fuel stabilizer to help avoid oxidation and deposits in the fuel system. The tires should be inflated to their maximum pressure according to the indications on their sidewalls, which will help prevent the formation of flat spots.
  3. The battery can be removed from older cars, but with all the computer technology on board modern vehicles, it’s best to leave it connected and use a smart battery charger.
  4. The car should be thoroughly washed and waxed to remove dirt from the bodywork. Make sure that it has had time to dry completely before putting on a car cover. The latter should be of good quality, made with material that breathes.
  5. Should you start the engine a few times during winter? It’s not necessary, but if you really feel like it, the engine should run for at least 20 minutes to ensure that it is warmed up properly and to avoid condensation.


More Tip For Storing Your Car For The Winter Image result for Full Preparation for car storage


Here’s what you should consider when preparing for winter car storage

  1. Storage location

Choose a safe and dry building to house your car during the winter. A home garage, can work just fine. If you don’t have a garage, look for a storage facility that has a concrete floor, not bare earth like in an old barn. The facility does not need to be climate controlled but should not have excessive moisture.

  1. Check engine oil

Pull the dipstick to observe the engine oil. If it is really dirty and you’ve reached the mileage limit, change it before storage. Otherwise you can wait until spring and start the season with fresh oil. The most important factor with engine oil is kilometres used. Modern oil, especially synthetic, is stable for a year in the engine. Fogging the engine is not necessary unless you are storing a vehicle for longer than a year.

  1. Wash and clean

Before parking your car for the final time, wash and fully detail it to ensure there are no contaminants left on the surfaces for the duration of the storage period.

  1. Top up fluids

After washing the car, go for one last drive to the gas station to evacuate the water from the crevices. Fill your gas tank and add a fuel stabilizer such as STA-BIL. Let the car run for five minutes to allow the stabilizer to flow through the fuel system. Also check that other fluid levels, especially anti-freeze, are topped up.

  1. Tires

At the storage facility, inflate your tires to the maximum PSI rating (indicated on the sidewall). I use a portable air compressor in my garage. This will prevent the tires from developing flat spots. It is not necessary to remove modern radial tires and it is not advised to put a car up on blocks and leave the suspension hanging for an extended period of time.

Leave the car in neutral with the parking brake disengaged. Automatic transmission cars can be left in park otherwise block tires to prevent moving. The car should be parked on a level surface.

  1. Ventilation

Roll down the window an inch to allow air circulation and prevent moisture from building inside the cabin.

  1. Battery

Opinions vary but I take my battery out. I bring it in the house, leave it on a piece of wood and connect it to a battery maintainer/tender, not a trickle charger. The maintainer I use is a CTEK 3300. Some newer cars require that the battery stay connected at all times to preserve the computer’s memory. In this case, it’s okay to connect the tender to the battery while keeping the hood ajar to run the cables into the engine bay.

  1. Pest prevention

Rodents love to find their way into your car and make it their cozy home during the winter. This can wreak havoc if they chew wires. As a precaution, place a ball of steel wool in the exhaust pipe opening and air inlet, laundry fabric sheets inside the cabin and trunk and moth balls around the outside perimeter of the car.

  1. Cover

Use a high quality tight fitting cover that will allow the car to breath.

  1. Other considerations

Moisture barrier:

It is common practice to put a tarp or plastic sheet on top of the concrete floor that you will be parking on to act as a moisture barrier. I don’t do this because my garage is sufficiently dry and my car is undercoated.

Drop insurance:

Those with newer vehicles may want to cancel the liability and collision portion of their insurance to save during the off-season. However, always maintain comprehensive (fire, theft and acts of god). Most classic car policies do not allow the option to temporarily suspend part of the coverage.

Leave it be:

A lot of people think starting a car every few weeks during storage is a good idea. Unless you intend on taking the car for a good drive, simply letting it idle is actually detrimental because condensation will build through the various systems and not properly burn-off. And don’t be tempted to take it for a drive on a “nice winter day.” After all, you don’t want to go through the entire process again. Best policy is let sleeping bears lay to rest. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and you will appreciate your beloved ride more when you finally get to bring it out of storage in the spring.

These are the steps and precautions I take for winter car storage. There are additional measures that can be taken but without going to extremes, this process has served me well through many storage seasons.(

Lastly, There is also a process I take when bringing my car out of storage in the spring that you can read here:

Top 5 tips for bringing your car out of winter storage   

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Top 5 checklist for bringing your car out of winter storage

  1. Inspect Battery

The most important item to check is the condition of the car’s battery. I hope that you had the battery on a maintainer/tender during the storage period? Look at your maintainer to see that the battery is fully charged. If not, put it on a charger, although the integrity and life of the battery will likely be compromised if the charge has completely depleted. Bottom line, do not attempt to start a stored vehicle with a half drained battery. And don’t boost it. There’s nothing worse that trying to crank a cold engine for the first time in months with a weak battery.

When connecting the battery, check the cables and terminals for corrosion/oxidization and clean if necessary. Some modern cars require the battery to remain connected at all times to maintain the on-board computer memory. In this case, a battery maintainer still needs to be used during storage.

  1. Test Engine oil

Pull the dipstick to see if there is adequate oil in the engine and add if needed. This oil is now old and should be changed at your earliest opportunity, even if you changed it just before storage. Don’t skip this step. Fresh oil is cheap insurance for the health of your engine.

  1. Examine Other fluids

Check the fluid levels for coolant, power steering, brakes and fuel. Did you put fuel stabilizer in the tank before storage? If not, add octane booster and get high-octane gas in the tank. Old gas will make the engine run rough so adding fuel stabilizer is an important precaution prior to storage.

  1. Perform a Visual check

Look in the engine bay and under the car for signs of fluid leaks. Observe the electrical wires and hoses, looking for cracks and deterioration. Take a screwdriver/wrench to the various clamps that make up the fuel system to ensure that they are tight. Look for signs of unwanted visitors like mice who are notorious for chewing electrical wires. Basically, you want to do a thorough visual check on the key mechanical components before you start the car for the first time and embark on that initial drive of the season.

  1. Check Tires

Check tire pressure and correct as necessary to bring to the suggested PSI rating indicated on the sidewall. Look for cracks and bulges in the rubber.

Other items

Look at the brakes to ensure there is adequate pad and rotor material. Look at the suspension components and pull on the control arms and tie-rods to check for excessive play. Check the exhaust and remember to take the steel wool out of the tail pipe or whatever you use to prevent rodents from entering.

Now that you’ve done your due-diligence to ensure that your stored vehicle is good to go, put the key in the ignition and fire it up. Expect the engine to run rough at first as it will take several minutes for the fuel to fully circulate to enable a smooth idle. Let the engine idle up to operating temperature before you hit the road. Take it easy in the beginning. Remember, this car hasn’t been driven for months so don’t push it hard on the first run.

The above checklist may seem excessive but it is important to ensure that your hobby car is ready for the season ahead. You don’t want to be disappointed with mechanical problems resulting from overlooking an important detail in preparing to bring a vehicle out of prolonged storage. Spring is just a few weeks away and with lots of heavy rain to wash the salt and crud off the roads, classic cars will be back on the scene. Just watch out for all the potholes – you’re hobby car will be less forgiving than the daily (

Hey we are finally finished, and our car is ready for the winter, garaging, or not, and/or to be stored, and I hope that I gave you enough information that you, hopefully won’t have any problems this winter. Also I hope this post was truly helpful to in you decision making process of transitioning your car for warm weather driving to cold weather driving!!!! Happy Driving !!!!

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How To Get Your Car Ready For A Long Snowy Winter Part 2


Image result for  garage or not garage, your car in the winter OR Image result for garage or not garage, your car in the winter

One of the major questions after preparing your care for the winter is,where to put my car for the winter? Also, am I hurting my car if I put it in the garage, carport, on the street, or in the driveway?  Let me help you with that question.   


January 20 2017 |

Posted in: NewsTips |

Unless you can afford to buy a new car more often than you have to, you do everything you can to protect it from damage and corrosion. One of the best ways to do that is to park your car in the garage, right?

In the summer, the garage protects your car’s paint and finish from overexposure to the sun’s damaging rays and rust-inducing rain. During winter storms, your car is cozy inside the garage not getting covered with snow and ice.

That’s all true. But it’s not the entire story. It’s well known that the salt we pour on our roads in winter is the enemy of your car’s body panels and undercarriage. Without getting into too much high-school chemistry, salt causes metal to rust.

So just about any winter driving can be bad for your car’s metal parts, which is just about the whole thing.

What most of people don’t realize is that parking their car in the garage in winter can make the rusting effects of road salt even worse, and here’s how.

  1. The salt-filled snow and slush that clings to your car is bad, but it’s not that bad if it remains frozen.
  1. When you park your car in the garage, even if it isn’t heated, the slush can melt from the heat of the engine. The water that results from the melted slush increases the rust-causing properties of the salt. That can lead to more rust damage than if the car remained outside.
  1. The dampness in your garage does not quickly evaporate because of winter’s cooler temperatures and the lack of ventilation. That means your car can be wet for longer periods than it is dry. That prolonged wetness gives salt more time to do its dirty work.
  1. Every time you take your car out and bring it back in again, the whole corrosion-causing process repeats itself.

If you park your car in the garage in winter, try to wash it as often as you can to reduce your chances of premature corrosion and body repairs.(


Image result for Personal Benefits for garage

2.Car In The Garage In Winter: Good Or Bad? Beneficial Personal

During the long winter months, we’d all prefer starting a warm car and heading out without having to brush the snow off of it; that’s why many houses are built with an attached garage. However, are we actually harming our vehicle by parking it in the garage every day?

A car that’s comfortably stored in the garage will obviously be sheltered from the foul weather we’re used to putting up with during the winter season. The problem is when we get home, especially in the middle of a storm when our vehicle is covered in snow and ice, and we park it directly in the garage. The snow will melt, of course, and the warmer temperature combined with humidity and salt residue will inevitably accelerate oxidation. That means rust.

Those of us who wear eyeglasses know what happens when we step inside after being in the cold for a while; condensation immediately fogs up our lenses, and that same phenomenon happens on various mechanical components of our car. Some of them are prone to rust, such as the exhaust system and the radiator. In addition, the vehicle’s rubber seals could deteriorate more quickly with the high temperature shifts.

On the other hand, there are advantages to leaving the car in the garage. The essential fluids like the engine oil will be thinner, which lubricates internal parts more quickly at start-up, and there is no need to brush any snow or scrape the ice off the vehicle, which means less chance of damaging the paint job and the windshield wipers.

There are as many advantages as disadvantages when it comes to parking a car in the garage every day in winter. We recommend not heating the garage too much; an ambient temperature about five degrees Celsius will suffice in wintertime. In addition, making sure the area is well ventilated will allow our vehicle to dry up more quickly and reduce humidity. So if You want to store your car what should you do?

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10 More Personal Benefits For Leaving  Car In The Garage (Not Mechanical Benefits)   

1. Safe from the elements- rain, snow, wind

This is probably one of the most obvious, but rain, snow, wind and other weather elements are enemies of a car’s exterior. They can leave dirt and acid on a vehicle that can cause significant damages to the exterior, like rust and a weakened top clear coat.

2. Protects from dings and scratches from elements or other vehicles

Hail and falling tree branches are just a couple examples of ways a car can get damaged from simply being outside. Dents, scratches, and broken windows are all possible exterior problems that can occur when a vehicle is left outdoors.

3. Keeps vehicle from the sun and temperature extremes

UV rays from the sun can damage a vehicle in ways most car owners don’t consider. Extreme hot and extreme cold can both lead to deterioration of the inside and outside. Read more about UV damage here.

4. Keeps those riding in the vehicle safe from elements

When a vehicle is parked in a garage those riding in the car do not have to be exposed to any elements. It keeps everyone safe from hail, temperature extremes, and other outdoor conditions when getting in or out of the vehicle.

5. Less likely to have theft or vandalism

Cars are a huge investment, and for most they are one of the most valuable things they own. Parking outside leaves a vehicle exposed to vandalism and theft. A garage helps eliminate the temptation for those that want to harm a vehicle in any way.

6. Lower insurance costs

That’s right, some insurance companies offer lower policies for people who store their vehicle in a garage. Saving money is always an advantage.

7. Keeps vehicle’s exterior looking great

Believe it or not, mechanics can tell if a car is stored in a garage or outside. Vehicle exteriors are kept in much better condition when stored in a garage which can lead to greater resale values.

8. Engine stays lubricated

Because a garage keeps a vehicle warm, the fluid and oil are kept in a stable condition which leads to an engine that runs better than one that is kept outside.

9. Coolant stays warmer, heat/AC comes on faster

Also, with a warmer car comes faster AC and heat. On cold days, the heat will warm up faster than being out in the elements. Same is true for extremely hot days.

10. Visibility is ready to go

Forget the ice scraper or dewy windshield. Parking in a garage helps keep windows clear of weather and condensation so there is no need to ride with one head out the window.

If for some reason parking in a garage is not an option, detailing is extremely important to protect a vehicle from the elements. Make sure the car is getting washed and waxed regularly by certified professionals. One way to ensure a regular clean is with unlimited monthly washes from Mr. Clean Car Wash to wash as often as once a day for a low monthly fee.

To get any vehicle, parked in a garage or not, ready for any weather conditions visit the nearest Mr. Clean CarWash for a Signature Shine wash or one of their express detail services.

Tags: car owner, Car owners, clean car, condensation, insurance companies offer lower policies, insurance costs, Maintenance, oil, warmer car (

After making your choice of what is best for your car, out in the air or in the garage. Now let’s test those chose Ideas with the “mythbusters”.

Debunking 5 Cold-Weather Car Myths

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Cold out, eh? Feeling a little overwhelmed by the frigid weather? Tired of not being able to see out of the windshield, of sliding all over the road? PM’s winter guru Mike Allen, born and raised in Michigan’s snowy Thumb, answers cold-weather queries and debunks winter car myths.

1) “Will carrying sandbags in your trunk really improve traction?”

Well, that depends on what you drive. Back in the days when the average car was a front-heavy, rear-drive sedan with marginal bias-ply tires, sure, a hundred pounds of ballast might have made the difference to help you crest that snowy hill. Most cars today are front- or or even all-wheel drive, and even today’s big rear-drive iron has a better weight distribution and way better radial all-season tires. Ballast in the trunk will only hinder traction on front-drive cars and is likely to make you oversteer on slippery surfaces. If you must ballast your rear-drive car or truck, add the ballast as far forward as possible; you’ll still get the traction but not the extra mass so far back.

2) “My mom was telling me how everyone at her office goes out at lunch to run their cars for 10 minutes or so, the theory being that if it starts at lunch, it will start after work. True or False? Is this good practice?”

If the car starts in the morning after cold-soaking all night, it certainly should start after 8 hours parked in the office parking lot. If you’ve got a garage baby that won’t start after a day out-of-doors and needs to be started every 4 hours, maybe it’s time to change the plugs and get it running right. If you start a cold engine and idle it for 10 minutes every day, you stand the chance of diluting the oil with unburned fuel that never gets a chance to burn off. That could cause premature engine wear–not to mention needlessly burning up some expensive gasoline.

3) “I don’t know if it’s because “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong” but why do so many batteries die during the winter? I know a few people that have had car batteries die, two of them because the cables came loose. Is this just a coincidence or is it a result of the cold?”

Winter is tough on batteries, for two main reasons. The engines are far harder to turn over because all the oil inside them has turned to molasses. This demands much more current from a battery, and to add insult to injury, that battery cannot produce its normal amount of energy because of the cold. The chemical reactions that generate electricity are slower at a lower temperatures. Your point about cables loosening is partially related. The huge current demands of the starter motor–200 to 400 amps–can cause the battery clamps to heat up if the connection at the clamp to post isn’t perfect. When the car starts, the connection will cool off. And that leaves a poor connection. And a poor connection can prevent the battery from getting fully charged. A discharged battery, unlike one that’s fully charged, can freeze, damaging it internally.

That said, while more cars won’t start on cold winter mornings, more batteries actually fail during the summer months, when intense heat cooks out the electrolyte, boiling the battery dry.

4) “I noticed that after a few days of heavy snow, the wiper squirters stopped working. I thought it was because they had frozen. My aunt says it’s because of sediment in the tank that clogged it. What’s the likely cause, and how do you prevent it?”

The washer nozzles would freeze right away, not after a few days of subzero temps. And the sediment your aunt is sure is in the reservoir would clog up the nozzles regardless of the temperature. It’s probably snowmelt reflux. Normally, there’s a check valve in the washer-nozzle line to keep that blue fluid (actually just alcohol and some dye) in the lines after you stop washing the windscreen. If the check valve goes bad, the fluid will run back into the reservoir when you stop running the pump. And it can suck melted snow or ice back into the nozzle. Replacing the check valve usually fixes this.

5) “When it’s really cold, the windshield wipers accumulate ice no matter how well I scrape them and even when I have the heat on high, blasting the windshield. In the middle of my commute, the wipers will start streaking, greatly reducing visibility. Is there anything I can do to prevent this? Additives to my fluid? Special wiper blades?”

Extreme weather can overpower the freezing point of the washer fluid, turning it to slush on your windshield. So, the most important thing is to keep the windshield as warm as possible by turning the defroster on to the warmest temperature setting and highest fan speed. Fresh wiper blades might help, or at least try cleaning the blades that you have of accumulated road film by wiping them with mineral spirits and a paper towel. Treating the windshield with Rain-X will leave less washer fluid on the glass to freeze. As a last resort, use methyl alcohol instead of washer fluid in the tank. Washer fluid is already 40 percent methyl alcohol and 60 percent water. If you increase the concentration of alcohol, it will depress the freezing point. You can buy methyl alcohol in the paint department of the hardware store, or sometimes you can find it in the housewares section of a big-box store, labeled as fuel for chafing dishes. Just pour it into the washer reservoir.(

Next, you might be the type that just don’t drive in the winter for many different reasons, and it your choice, So if you have to store your vehicle for the winter here is some tips: 

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How To Get Your Car Ready For A Long Snowy Winter Part 1

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Winter has finally hit after all these days of Indian Summer and I wasn’t ready to be cold again.  This week in the midwest winter came, with all the fury of a winter storm and my car was not fully prepared for the days of cold, snow, ice, and salt.  So after four days of enduring this crazy cold weather, I have to play catch-up and get my car prepared for the long winter. So here are some tips if you got pushed into winter like I did, this is the first of a three-part series: “How To Get Your Car Ready For A Long Snowy Winter Part 1”

How to prepare your car for winter

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In harsh conditions, a little advance planning can save lives.


By Driver Side Staff December 5, 2017



Help your vehicle withstand even the heaviest snowfall.

Barbara Hanselman

This article originally appeared in DriverSide.

When temperatures start to drop, it’s time to get your car ready for winter. The right maintenance, preparation tools can be literal lifesavers in harsh conditions.

Regular maintenance

Now’s the time to get your car up to speed on all of its regular maintenance. That means taking care of any fluids that may have been neglected while you were out enjoying the summer sun or going in for that 60,000-mile tune-up if you’re due. Check, change and/or top off your oil, coolant, and brake and transmission fluid as needed. In the case of your oil or automatic transmission, make sure you get a high-quality filter, too. It may seem like overkill to take care of all of your fluids at once, but it’s worth it in the long run.

Take a look at the car’s brakes too. Are your rotors warped or cracked? Do they have deep grooves or are the pads worn close to their minimum clearance? Your vehicle will be experiencing harsher conditions soon, so nip any potential problems in the bud now. Make sure all your lights are working properly to ensure good visibility. New bulbs only cost a few dollars and are easy to install yourself or have installed when getting your vehicle serviced. The same goes for windshield wipers. If your blades are more than six months old, odds are it’s time to swap them out for new ones. And don’t forget to fill the washer fluid reservoir with freeze-resistant wiper fluid.

Check your tires

Go ahead and have your tires rotated and inspected. The last thing you need in cold, wet weather is to be driving on bald or dry-rotted tires. Err on the side of caution and replace any tires that are too worn.

We’d recommend looking into snow (or winter) tires, depending on your location and the length of time you’ll be spending in the snow. Winter tires are made with special low-temperature-resilient rubber compounds and have deep treads that grip unplowed snow and ice. Even the best all-season tires have compounds that get more brittle as the temperature drops, and when that happens, the tires tend to grip less. The winter tire compound remains pliable when temperatures are low, retaining grip and keeping the car’s safety systems, like all-wheel drive and anti-lock brakes, functioning properly.

At this time, also make sure your spare tire has enough air in it. Once everything looks good, take a look at your tire pressure. With everything up to spec, you’ll get better gas mileage and your vehicle will handle and stop better.

Protect the interior

You can’t discount the impact weather can have on the interior of your vehicle either. If you’re going to spend a lot of time ducking in and out of the elements, you might want to grab some all-weather floor mats. They’re easy to clean and do a great job of keeping the muck in one place. Making sure your windows are clean will also improve visibility and reduce the likelihood of steamy glass.

Maintain the coolant system

Our most important tip is to take the time to get your car’s coolant system checked. Extreme temperatures and harsh conditions can easily knock it out if it’s not up to snuff. If any part of the system comes up with a shaky bill of health, swap the parts for new ones. That means having your car’s radiator pressure tested and the hoses examined for cracks or bulges. Most shops can quickly test radiators without the hassle of removing them from the vehicle.

If you can’t remember the last time your water pump was replaced, or your pump has more miles on it than what the manufacturer recommends, it’s time for a new one. While you’re at it, go for a new thermostat as well—you’ll save money on labor getting these two done at once.

Even if everything under the hood comes up good to go, replacing your engine’s coolant is cheap insurance against extreme temperatures. Over time, antifreeze can actually generate a weak electrical current, which can then cause oxidation and eventually failure inside of your coolant system. You’ll want at least a 50/50 mix of antifreeze and water to provide protection against below-zero temperatures. Keeping everything fresh inside will put less stress on your vehicle’s hardware and save you serious money in the long run.

Stock your car

Stranded by the side of the road can be dangerous in the best of conditions, but when sub-zero temperatures or bad weather is involved, it can be downright deadly. Carrying these supplies may save your life:

  • Blanket
  • Jumper cables
  • Flashlight
  • Chains
  • First-aid kit
  • Small knife
  • Flares
  • A couple energy bars
  • Water gloves
  • Small shovel
  • Waterproof matches
  • Ice scraper
  • A bag of sand or kitty litter to help provide traction if your car is stuck in the snow

A little preparation goes a long way to keep your car running smoothly during the winter months. Not only will the right tools and maintenance protect you and your car from the elements, but they will also keep you safe.(popularscience,com)

Cars are the ways we keep going at this time of the year, then add the winter cold and we have a super hard challenge and a very slow go. Here are some reasons why cold can damage your car, this winter:  


Five Ways Cold Can Damage Your Car

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By Jenna Abate, Staff Writer
February 18, 2014, 3:25:58 AM EST

Some mornings you sit in your car and it feels like an eternity before it warms up. Believe it or not, your car can be affected by the cold much faster than you can. As the temperature drops, so do your chances of your car running properly.

Mark Cox, school director of Bridgestone Winter Driving School, and Tom Deutcsh of Lindenhurst Long Island Firestone Complete Auto Care agree these are five problems to watch for this winter.

  1. Your Battery Can Die in Colder Weather. Have it tested. This will prevent going out to your car and finding a dead battery. Keeping vehicles in a garage is one definite way to ensure they will start in subzero conditions. However, if you don’t have access to a garage, it’s important to check the health of your vehicle’s battery before the cold arrives.

Deutcsh advised, “A typical battery can last an average of about three years and usually can handle the cold. Extreme cold pulls voltage from a battery, making it harder for your car to start. A typical battery is most comfortable between 30 and 90 F, so anything below that lower end will give you trouble.”

  1. Fluids Thicken During Dropping Temperatures. Check all your fluids. This includes oil, antifreeze, power steering, brake and transmission fluids.

“When it gets cold, fluids thicken and that will make it harder for your car to get the fluids it need to run properly. Transmission is a big one. That fluid in particular needs to flow quickly, and your car won’t function if it flows at a slow pace,” Deutcsh warned.



  1. Cold Air Will Take a Toll on Your Tire Pressure. Cox said that most tires lose 1 pound per square inch (psi) for every 10 F of temperature drop. So, checking inflation as the air gets colder is critical. For example, a fully inflated tire at 70 F is five psi under-inflated at 20 F. Under-inflated tires do not perform well and are subject to damage or failure especially in snow and icy conditions.

Cox explained, “A new winter tire is obviously best for winter use, but in deep snow even a half-worn winter tire gives the performance of a new all-season tire. A half-worn all season tire gives the performance of a summer tire, and summer tires should never be used on winter roads.”

  1. Your Wipers and Washer Solvent Will Fail. Make sure to clean the windshield of your car before turning on your wipers. A lot of wiper problems come from windshields not being cleared first and then being turned on. Deutcsh often sees customers with wiper-related issues.

“Blades get torn and wiper transmissions break because extreme weather can overpower the freezing point of the washer fluid. They are just rubber and pressure from snow, ice and slush will break them. That’s why you see people with their wipers tilted up when a snow storm is coming.”

“It’s also a good idea to set the heater and fan controls on defrost and high before you turn the car off at night. This reduces the chance of breaking switches and knobs in extremely low temperatures,” added Cox.

  1. Spark Plug Reliability Weakens During Winter. A bad spark plug, ignition component or clogged filter may cause your vehicle not to start. “As temperatures get colder, you’ll have a hard start with bad plugs or wires they will affect reliability,” said Deutcsh. Be sure yours are in top shape come the winter months.

Cox and Deutcsh say that knowing these five winter car problems can help you become better prepared.

“This year, I’ve seen a lot more battery and start issues but I tell everyone if they had just gotten regular maintenance and check-ups maybe these problems could have been avoided,” Deutcsh said.      

Are you enjoying the tips, well don’t stop having fun, because we continue with part two, “to garage or not to garage your vehicle that is the question?” 

Image result for  garage or not garage, your car in the winter OR Image result for garage or not garage, your car in the winter

Should Mothers Get Paid To Breast Feed?

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New mothers could be ‘bribed’ with £200 or 264 dollars in shopping vouchers to breastfeed their children, following a major five year trial part-funded by Public Health England.

More than 10,000 women living on South Yorkshire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire were offered £120 or 154 dollars in vouchers for stores such as Argos, Debenhams, Tesco, Asda and Morrisons, if they signed forms declaring they had breastfed their child for six weeks.

Overall, 46% of all eligible mothers signed up to the scheme and more than 40% claimed at least one voucher, paid for by research councils, medical charities and Public Health England.

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They received a further £80 or 143 dollars if they were still breastfeeding at six months to ‘acknowledge the work’ involved in breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding rates | Around the world

Countries with highest rates after 12 months

  • Senegal (99.4%)
  • The Gambia (98.7%)
  • Malawi (98.3%)
  • Guinea-Bissau (97.8%)
  • Ethiopia (97.3%)

Countries with lowest rates after 12 months

  • UK (0.5%)
  • Saudi Arabia (2%)
  • Denmark (3%)
  • Greece (6%)
  • Canada and France (9%)

Source: The Lancet, 2016


Although fewer than half of women took up the offer, and breastfeeding rates were raised just six per cent, the University of Sheffield declared the results as ‘significant, making it more likely to be rolled out nationally.

However critics have argued that there was nothing to stop women using the vouchers for cigarettes and alcohol. They also warned that signing a form did not mean women were actually breastfeeding, and claimed that it penalised women who could not breastfeed.

In an ongoing poll on the Telegraph website asking whether women should be paid to breastfeed, 72 percent of readers said no.           Image result for breastfeeding money incentive  

Principal investigator Dr Clare Relton, from the University of Sheffield’s School of Health and Related Research (ScHARR), said: “Our scheme offered vouchers to mothers as a way of acknowledging the value of breastfeeding to babies and mothers and the work involved in breastfeeding.

“The trial found a significant increase in breastfeeding rates in areas where the scheme was offered.

“It seems that the voucher scheme helped mothers to breastfeed for longer. Mothers reported they felt rewarded for breastfeeding.”

The NHS recommends that mothers exclusively breastfeed their babies during the first six months.

Research has found that breastfed babies have fewer health problems, such as chest infections, and are less likely to develop health problems such as diabetes, or become obese, when they are older.

But currently only one third of children are breastfed at six months, and that just one per cent only receive breast-milk by this stage.

Only one third of British women breastfeed for the recommended six months CREDIT: ANTHONY DEVLIN

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In areas where the vouchers were trialed breastfeeding rates at eight weeks old were just 28 percent, but that rose to 34 per cent with the incentives. Researchers estimate that raising breastfeeding levels could save the NHS £17 million or 24 million dollars each year, because it protects babies from infections.

However experts warned that there were major problems with the study.

Andrew Whitelaw, Emeritus Professor of Neonatal Medicine at The University of Bristol, said: “The trial design could not avoid the possibility that an economically deprived mother would be tempted to report she was breastfeeding (when she was not) in order to receive a 200 pound reward.

“This trial is worth publishing because it highlights the difficulties in researching this problem but is not a justification for a general policy of economically rewarding mothers who reporting breastfeeding in areas with low breastfeeding rates.”

Image result for Paying Low-Income Moms to Breastfeed Might Raise Breastfeeding Rates, But Is It Ethical?

Paying Low-Income Moms to Breastfeed Might Raise Breastfeeding Rates, But Is It Ethical?

By Elissa Strauss

Before we start paying moms to breastfeed, we should be making sure they can afford to take time off after childbirth.


The benefits of breastfeeding are often exaggerated, but everyone can agree that women should have the resources to breastfeed their infants if they so choose. Unfortunately, many women don’t have those resources, which is part of the reason that low-income women are far less likely to breastfeed than their wealthier counterparts. (Cultural norms also play a role.) Public health advocates are constantly seeking new ways to boost breastfeeding rates among this population and have implemented a variety of educational and support programs in order to do so.

One of the largest efforts to get more low-income women to breastfeed is part of the Women, Infants, and Children Program. This federal nutrition assistance program, which serves around 8 million moms and young children, incentivizes breastfeeding by offering those who do it “a greater quantity and variety of foods” and “longer participation in the program.” Now a new study, recently published in Pediatrics, explores what would happen if WIC upped the ante and gave breastfeeding moms a cash bonus as well. The study’s authors found that this extra compensation was effective in raising breastfeeding rates, but questions about the ethics of cash incentives remain.

For the study, a team of researchers, led by Dr. Yukiko Washio of Christiana Care Health System and the University of Delaware in Newark, divided 36 low-income, Puerto Rican new mothers enrolled in WIC into two groups. Half of them would receive cash incentives to breastfeed totaling up to $270 over the course of six months; the other half would not. At one month, 89 percent of women who were being paid were still breastfeeding, compared with 44 percent of mothers who were not being paid. At three months, the percentage of the cash group who were still breastfeeding remained the same, while the control group’s breastfeeding rates declined to 17 percent. When the babies were six months old, 72 percent of the mothers receiving payments were still breastfeeding, while none of the mothers in control group were.

The study’s authors offer a few caveats about the results. First, the sample size was too small to draw any big conclusions, and the program should be tested with a larger group of women before any large-scale program is implemented. And the health effects of the incentives were unclear—the study found was no significant difference in emergency room visits between the two groups. However, the authors predict that a rise in breastfeeding stemming from cash incentives would lead to better health outcomes for infants, which could save $17 million in healthcare costs and allow WIC to spend more of its budget on food rather than formula. (Formula is currently the most expensive line-item in the program’s budget.) Future studies should carefully track infants’ health outcomes to ensure that they are benefiting from breast-milk. Lastly and importantly, the authors acknowledge that more research should be done on the psychological effects the cash incentives have on the mothers who receive them. What’s effective isn’t always benign, especially when money is involved.

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In an accompanying editorial in Pediatrics, Dr. Lydia Furman of Case Western Reserve University and Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital in Cleveland, Ohio questions whether these payments end up coercing low-income women into breastfeeding, including those who would otherwise have chosen not to. However, she ultimately concludes that such interventions can be “ethically defensible and socially responsible” if they manage to “level the playing field” for low-income women.

A small part of me loves the idea of women given cash for breastfeeding. It de-romanticizes the act, stripping it of its associations with beauty and instinct and acknowledging what it is for most women: hard work. But a bigger part of me sees red flags. Would a cash incentive program make the notoriously frustrating and prescriptive WIC even more stressful for low-income mothers? Would it encourage other adult household members to pressure moms to breastfeed? Also, would it push moms to prioritize providing their children with breastmilk, whether by way of boob or pump, above all other aspects of infant care? I know and have read about many women for whom the pressure to breastfeed was so stressful that it interfered with their ability to bond with their babies.                                                             Image result for breastfeeding takes commitment 

Breastfeeding is a huge commitment and can be extremely taxing, particularly if a woman works shortly after childbirth or has other young children to take care of. Incentives like the ones offered in the study might work for some women in some scenarios, but I am not sure they make sense for most low-income American women considering everything else they are up against. In a country where so many go without paid leave and affordable childcare, giving breastfeeding women a little pocket money for their efforts feels more like a shortsighted stopgap than a promising long-term solution.(Nicola Slawson)

The Other-side of The Study (Interview of the co-author and a participant) 

The studies co-author Mary Renfrew, a professor of mother and infant health at the University of Dundee, said the incentive scheme had been designed together with women and staff to make sure it was feasible and appropriate and that breastfeeding support services were widely available in all the areas where the trial took place.

She said it was the first large-scale study to show an increase in breastfeeding in communities where rates have been low for generations, adding that it can be particularly difficult for women to breastfeed “without strong family and community support because of strong societal barriers”.

Community midwife Anahi Wheeldon, from Sheffield, said the scheme had helped normalise breastfeeding in areas where women found it embarrassing.

Fiona Sutcliffe, 29, from Sheffield, who took part in the trial with her daughter, said: “Breastfeeding is quite difficult in the beginning. The scheme is a really good way of keeping going – keeping motivated to stay on track rather than giving up and going for the bottle. It provides little milestones, little stepping stones and helps you get breastfeeding established.”

In Conclusion

For some moms, breastfeeding is difficult in the beginning and then it gets easier. For others, the battle is fought for months before deciding to stop. But whether you nursed for one day or four years, the whole experience isn’t without struggle. And those who say different are lying. Or need a roundhouse kick to the boobs.(

  • When feeding it only hurts for the first few seconds, then it’s fine (which I’ve been told is normal)
  • He’s been cluster feeding – think 20 mins of every hour today the little mister has been feeding
  • Physically, breastfeeding: hurts If your baby isn’t latching properly, then it can get extremely painful. Not just during the feed but after. I’ve had moments where the feeling of the sheets rubbing against my boobs was enough to make me jump. 

  • Mentally breastfeeding is draining

    After all of the above, you’re then at the point where you’re wondering if all of this is actually working. There’s the stats you need to be monitoring:

    • How many nappy changes you’re doing each day to show that baby is getting enough
    • How much weight he’s gaining
    • If you’re pumping, how much your pumping
    • Do you have a big enough supply? If not, better get pumping/eating biscuits and praying(
  • “The hardest part was frequent nursing, mostly for comfort, and it felt like she was attached to my boob 24/7.” – Miranda D.

Lastly in the words of a women that goes by the tag, Polwig: “You get your routine with time and it does become easier just because you are used to it. If you can deliver naturally you can definitely nurse for a year, it is less of a commitment. I exclusively nursed my twins for 2 1/2 years and the only pointer that I have is use the pump as much as you can. I did have to have a lot more milk then average mom but I pumped and served a bit also (when they were a bit older). That way my husband was able to take one of the night feedings and I could go grocery shopping without worry about kids getting hungry. My freezer was full of milk so when the kids’ needs dramatically increased I was prepared before my body was and therefor not too stressed out about them going hungry.”(

Back to the original question “Should Women Be Paid To Breastfeed Their Children?” I don’t know, However there are some great arguments for and against it,  and while we are discussing this, another 100 to 500 babies will be born and need to be feed, nurtured, and loved.  I say Ladies: “Your Body Your Chose!!!!”

20 Breastfeeding Benefits for Mom and Baby                                           Image result for breastfeeding benefits


Reduced ear infections? Check. Lower risk for asthma? Yup. Bump in IQ? Sure. Breastfeeding your baby brings all these benefits—plus a whole lot more.


  1. A healthier baby

“The incidences of pneumonia, colds and viruses are reduced among breastfed babies,” says infant-nutrition expert Ruth A. Lawrence, M.D., a professor of pediatrics and OB-GYN at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry in Rochester, N.Y., and the author of Breastfeeding: A Guide for the Medical Profession (Elsevier-Mosby). Gastrointestinal infections like diarrhea—which can be devastating, especially in developing countries—are also less common.


  1. Long-term protection, too

Breastfeed your baby and you reduce his risk of developing chronic conditions, such as type I diabetes, celiac disease and Crohn’s disease.


  1. Stronger bones

According to Lawrence, women who breastfeed have a lower risk of postmenopausal osteoporosis. “When a woman is pregnant and lactating, her body absorbs calcium much more efficiently,” she explains. “So while some bones, particularly those in the spine and hips, may be a bit less dense at weaning, six months later, they are more dense than before pregnancy.”


  1. Lower SIDS risk

Breastfeeding lowers your baby’s risk of sudden infant death syndrome by about half.


  1. Fewer problems with weight

It’s more likely that neither of you will become obese if you breastfeed him.


  1. A calorie incinerator

You may have heard that nursing burns up to 500 calories a day. And that’s almost right. “Breast milk contains 20 calories per ounce,” Lawrence explains. “If you feed your baby 20 ounces a day, that’s 400 calories you’ve swept out of your body.”


  1. It’s good for the earth

Dairy cows, which are raised in part to make infant formula, are a significant contributor to global warming: Their belching, manure and flatulence (really!) spew enormous amounts of methane, a harmful greenhouse gas, into the atmosphere.


  1. Better healing postdelivery

The oxytocin released when your baby nurses helps your uterus contract, reducing postdelivery blood loss. Plus, breastfeeding will help your uterus return to its normal size more quickly—at about six weeks postpartum, compared with 10 weeks if you don’t breastfeed.


  1. Less risk of cancer

Breastfeeding can decrease your baby’s risk of some childhood cancers. And you’ll have a lower risk of premenopausal breast cancer and ovarian cancer, an often deadly disease that’s on the rise.


  1. An unmatched feeling of power

“It’s empowering as a new mother to see your baby grow and thrive on your breast milk alone,” Lawrence says.


  1. A custom-made supply

Formula isn’t able to change its constitution, but your breast milk morphs to meet your baby’s changing needs. Colostrum—the “premilk” that comes in after you deliver—is chock-full of antibodies to protect your newborn baby. “It’s also higher in protein and lower in sugar than ‘full’ milk, so even a small amount can hold off your baby’s hunger,” says Heather Kelly, an international board-certified lactation consultant in New York City and a member of the Bravado Breastfeeding Information Council’s advisory board.

When your full milk comes in (usually three to four days after delivery), it is higher in both sugar and volume than colostrum—again, just what your baby requires. “He needs a lot of calories and frequent feedings to fuel his rapid growth,” Kelly explains. “Your mature milk is designed to be digested quickly so he’ll eat often.”


  1. More effective vaccines

Research shows that breastfed babies have a better antibody response to vaccines than formula-fed babies.


  1. A menstruation vacation

Breastfeeding your baby around the clock—no bottles or formula— will delay ovulation, which means delayed menstruation. “Breastfeeding causes the release of prolactin, which keeps estrogen and progesterone at bay so ovulation isn’t triggered,” Kelly explains.

“When your prolactin levels drop, those two hormones can kick back in, which means ovulation—and, hence, menstruation—occurs.”

Even if you do breastfeed exclusively, your prolactin levels will eventually drop over the course of several months. Many moms who solely nurse will see their periods return between six and eight months after delivery, Kelly adds; others don’t for a full year.


  1. Less time off work

Your baby will be ill less often, so that means fewer sick days for you.


  1. It’s cheap!

According to La Leche League International, the cost of formula can range anywhere from $134 to $491 per month. That’s $1,608 to $5,892 in one year!


  1. A great way to learn about your baby

“You have to read your baby’s ‘satiety cues’ a little better, because unlike with a bottle, you can’t see how much he’s eaten,” Kelly says. “You have to rely on your own instincts and your baby’s behavior to know when your baby is full.”


  1. You can stash the condoms—for now

Breastfeeding can be 98 percent to 99 percent effective as a post-baby birth control option if a few guidelines are followed: Your period must not have resumed; you must breastfeed at least every four hours around the clock; you must not give your baby any pacifiers, bottles or formula; and you must be less than six months postpartum.

According to Kelly, nighttime feedings are the most important to the “lactation amenorrhea method,” so do not let your baby (or yourself ) sleep through a feeding. “Going long stretches at night without nursing seems to be directly responsible for the return of ovulation,” she says. Prematurely sleep training your baby can also hasten ovulation.


  1. There’s nothing easier

Simply pull up your shirt and nurse. Breast milk is always available and always at the right temperature.


  1. Benefits for all

According to a study published in the journal Pediatrics, the United States would save about $13 billion per year in medical costs if 90 percent of U.S. families breastfed their newborns for at least six months.


  1. Better friendships

“Breastfeeding helps cultivate relationships with other moms,” Kelly says. Whether it’s talking about parenting styles, nighttime feedings or engorgement, nursing allows women to forge positive postpartum relationships. Adds Kelly, “Women are supposed to be sitting together, nursing and taking care of babies.”(