Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part V Of VI

 

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  • Camel pose

Get a blanket or something soft and throw it on the ground. Kneel on top of it with your legs hips distance apart. If you can, curl your toes under to help stabilize your weight. You’re going to make the same shape with your upper body.  Start with your back completely straight then begin to arc your chest upward and curl your head back, keeping your lower abs engaged. You can use your hands on the backs of your hips to help support yourself and arch higher. Keep your core engaged so you’re putting too much pressure on your lower back. Breath slow, even breaths and come out of it the same way you went into it – curl up your head, last.

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FOR STRESS

Calming, relaxing poses are great for stress relief.  Slow deep breaths are best for balancing your brain hemispheres – so breathing exercises alone will work if you can’t do a yoga pose.

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  • Head on knee pose

Sit on the floor with both legs out straight, then bend the right foot in so your bottom of your foot touches the inside of your left thigh. Then face your left leg so your whole torso is centered over your left leg, stretch up with both arms, and fold over your extended leg. Just allow your back to stay as long as possible, so if you can’t touch your toes, work up to it. Start with hands by your shin or knee. If you need to, bend your knee a tiny bit. Focus on keeping both sides of your torso equally stretched over your leg. Slowly come up and switch sides. Eventually when you get enough flexibility, the goal would be to rest your nose or chin right above your knee, but only if you can keep your leg straight.

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  • Corpse pose

This is great for easing tension and calming the mind. It’s last on my list because you always do this pose last – it’s a nervous system shut down.

Sit in a seated position and roll yourself down onto your back, vertebrae by vertebrae, until your back is completely flat. Now allow your arms to splay out, your legs to relax out, completely even on both sides of your body. Make sure there’s no uneven pressure under your body and nothing touching your body. Close your eyes and let everything in your face relax. Relax your tongue, your mouth, and breathe normally. Relax your eye muscles, your forehead, your fingers. If you need to, drape something over your eyes so you can keep them closed. Stay here for five minutes.

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  • Restorative Corpse pose

This is the same thing before you lay down, place a pillow underneath your shoulders, head and neck, elevating everything from the base of your shoulder blades up so it’s about 4 inches off the ground. You can also place a rolled blanket under your knees.  To come out of it, roll to your right side and push yourself up to a seat.

Those are my picks for soothing these particular nego-patterns! I hope you try them and even try more than these. I will bet they work for you.

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In closing…

Our self-understanding is cultural – our understanding of limits is also cultural. We rarely question our own beliefs because we’ve grown so used to them. What I hope you will be inspired to do is question your beliefs about yourself and challenge the ways “you are and will always be.”  When we decide who we are – and decide it’s set it stone, it’s usually something we’ve taken on as a definition based on the ideas of others. So truly, our beliefs are always changeable. They can be challenged and new practices can be adopted – it comes down to looking at what is still serving you and what is no longer helpful, and making a change in your behavior. If you want to believe otherwise and you can’t force yourself to think outside of your ways, just begin by questioning yourself: really examine and challenge the truth behind those sticking points. You can be changed at any age and create a different life for yourself. Night and day can happen in a single day.

The past is the past. It created your life up to this moment. How you choose to look at today and the present moment: that changes your tomorrow and everything you live from this point forth. So, for your own happiness and well being, allow yourself a new choice, today.  Even the smallest change in your perspective will make a dramatic difference in the quality of the rest of your life: it alters the pattern. And with repetition, a daily practice – once you actually see proof of the change it has made in your life, then you build momentum.  It just takes seeing that first sign of change: feeling that balance, that happiness that comes from soothing and processing toxic emotions. Give it a try. I believe that, just like me, you’ll never go back! You’ll grow to trust the process and invest the more in more in the value of balancing your mind and body. It’s the best tool-set ever because there’s nothing to solve about it. It’s so simple and pure – and it makes you KNOW innately that you can and will be okay – you will take care of yourself- no matter what happens. You will be there to care for yourself.  I hope this was helpful and inspiring in some way… Smile lovely friends!!!

 

Lately: 16 Psychological Trick To Make People Like You Immediately  

 

It’s hard to say exactly why you like someone.

Maybe it’s their goofy smile; maybe it’s their razor-sharp wit; or maybe it’s simply that they’re easy to be around. You just like them.

But scientists generally aren’t satisfied with answers like that, and they’ve spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another.

Below, we’ve rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster.

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  1. Copy the person you’re with

This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another person’s behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.

In 1999, New York University researchers documented the “chameleon effect,” which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other’s behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.

Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners (who worked for the researchers) either mimicked the other participant’s behavior or didn’t, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.

Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.

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  1. Spend more time around the people you’re hoping to befriend

According to the mere-exposure effect, people tend to like other people who are familiar to them.

In one example of this phenomenon, psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh had four women pose as students in a university psychology class. Each woman showed up in class a different number of times. When experimenters showed male students pictures of the four women, the men demonstrated a greater affinity for those women they’d seen more often in class — even though they hadn’t interacted with any of them.

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  1. Compliment other people

People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. This phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.

One study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that this effect occurred even when people knew certain traits didn’t describe the people who had talked about them.

According to Gretchen Rubin, author of the book “The Happiness Project,” “whatever you say about other people influences how people see you.”

If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.

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  1. Try to display positive emotions

Emotional contagion describes what happens when people are strongly influenced by the moods of other people. According to a research paper from the Ohio University and the University of Hawaii, people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them.

The authors of the paper say that’s possibly because we naturally mimic others’ movements and facial expressions, which in turn makes us feel something similar to what they’re feeling.

If you want to make others feel happy when they’re around you, do your best to communicate positive emotions.

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Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part IV Of VI

 

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FOR DEPRESSION

If you’re chemically depressed you want to do poses that get more blood to your head, so back-bends and inversions are great poses to practice. (Inversions are poses where your heart is lower than your head.) Back bends give you an increased ability to handle stress – they relieve tension and soothe nervous exhaustion.  

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  • Mountain pose

This is basic but effective. You want to stand up tall with your feet hips distance apart, head pointed straight ahead, in bare feet. You can either have your arms alert at your sides with your palms facing outwards, or your arms stretched straight up with palms facing, or arms stretched straight up with your fingers locked, palms turned inside out.

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  • Downward dog

This one is my fave! It’s a go-to for pretty much any kind of negative emotion.  It slows the heart rate so it’s great for calming the brain and also coincidentally – great for relieving cramps. AND it gives you renewed energy because it’s getting blood to your brain.

To do downward dog, get into a tabletop position (hands and knees).  If you have tight hamstrings, you can put your fingertips at the base of a wall to help support yourself.  Place your hands a little wider than your shoulders, your feet hips distance, then slowly lift your knees off the ground and straighten your legs. If it’s too tight on your hamstrings, then keep your knees bent a bit. The goal is to press your chest toward the ground while keeping your shoulder blades sucked onto your back. Press into your hands and heels, and picture yourself pulling your hands toward one another.

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  • Bridge pose

This is a back-bend so it gives you extra chemical soothing support! Start on your back and bend your knees so your feet are directly below them. Keep your arms straight down your sides and then bend your forearms so your fingers are pointed straight upward.  You’ll be making robot arms – fingers together, elbows pushing down into the ground. Now slowly curl your tailbone off the ground and scoop your lower body off the ground – try to do this one vertebrae at a time. You want to keep your butt relaxed and your knees lightly pushing toward one another. Don’t push too hard or put too much stress on your spine, and make sure you are keeping your core engaged. So the only things touching the ground are your shoulders, head neck and elbows. Keep looking up and make sure you have length in your neck to breathe. Come down the same way: one vertebrae at a time.

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  • Restorative Bridge Pose

If that’s too hard for you or you’re super tired, you can also do a restorative bridge pose – basically make a long row of couch cushions under your body, all the way up to the base of your shoulder blades. You’re going to then lay across them so your body is elevated about a 6 inches to 1 foot off the ground, except your shoulders, head and neck. Put your arms, elbows bent, splayed out beside your upper torso.

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  • Restorative Inversion with Legs Up the Wall

This is another relaxing one where you lie flat on the ground and scoot your butt so it’s against the base of the wall, then straighten your legs up the wall so they are straight up and down. Keep them together and stretch your arms out to the sides with palms facing up. You can stay here for 3-5 minutes.

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FOR FATIGUE AND LETHARGY

If you’re emotionally exhausted or sluggish, it’s helpful to do things to uplift your energy levels without stressing the body further.  Your nervous system is already taxed so your job is to elevate and restore. That’s why twisting poses are great: they move a lot of blood from your organs and get things flowing. They’re cleansing. Refreshing.

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  • Torso leg stretch (or Marichyasana)

Sit on the ground with both legs out straight in front of you and together.  First bend your right knee upright and twist your upper body towards it. Now extend your left arm straight and allow the upper part of your left arm to rest on the outside of your right knee.  Keep your back up straight and twist toward the right. You can use your right arm to brace yourself on the ground and keep your back straight. You can use light pressure against your bent knee to lightly twist deeper. Don’t forget to switch sides. 

*If that’s too deep a twist for you, just hold onto the bent knee and use your arms to help yourself twist.

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  • Reclining Twist (Or what I like to call, Twisted Action figure pose)

Lie flat on the ground, curl your knees into your chest and let them fall to the right, then look to the left. Let your arms extend out on both sides. Switch by flopping your legs to the other side and look the opposite direction.

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  • Plough pose

This is for more advanced yogis. It increases confidence, clarity, balance and energy. This is one of the harder poses so don’t attempt this unless you’re somewhat flexible. Also watch a YouTube how-to first.

Start by lying down flat, arms by your sides, then roll your legs up and over your head, touching your toes on the floor behind you, keeping your legs totally straight. It will look like an upside down sitting forward fold. Don’t look side to side – keep your neck and head straight. You can use your hands to brace yourself on your lower back, or keep them pressed to the ground. Come down one vertebrae at a time as slowly as possible.

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FOR ANGER

If you’re short-tempered, it’s helpful to practice heart openers. These help you regain emotional stability and also center you from turbulent emotions. If you’re prone to mood-swings, start a daily heart opener practice.

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  • Seated cross-legged position

Super basic but very helpful for increased balance, calm and grounding. This pose gets you back to an internal and meditative state. The Sanskrit word translates to ‘wellbeingness’. Sit on the ground with your legs crossed like you did in kindergarten. If it hurts your hips, sit up on a small cushion. Or even a short stack of big books. Rest your hands on your knees, keep your back straight and keep your head facing forward.

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  • Forward Folding Cross-legged position

This one is a hip-opener, so it’s great for anger and also good if you want to process and vent old anger. Same set-up: Sit cross-legged and now lift your arms straight up, keep your back straight and fold forward over your legs. Breathe slowly and deeply. Take 30 breaths then switch the cross of your legs.

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  • Downward-facing cross-legged pose (or what I like to call, the sleepy kindergartener)

Get a table or a small bench that’s the height of your breastbone and place a pillow on top of it. Sit cross-legged right in front of it – atop a pillow, if it’s more comfy. Fold your torso over the bench and lay your head on top of the pillow. It should look almost like you fell asleep while sitting at the breakfast table – but in this case, you are seated on the ground in a cross-legged position.  Extend your arms forward on the table and cross them right above the top of your head. Align your body frontally, like don’t shift your head to one side. Keep the back elongated, and if it’s not comfortable roll a small blanket and place it under your chest for more support. Breathe deeply here for 2 minutes.

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  • Simple chest opener

If you’re at work this is a great one. Stand in mountain pose, straight up and down, arms at your sides, palms out.  Now make a shape like you’re being beamed up by an alien ship from the center of your breastbone. Slowly begin to arch your chest upward toward the sky. Keep your lower abs engaged and take slow, deep and measured breaths. Allow your head to curl backwards but don’t relax your neck too much – you want to breathe fully.

Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part III Of VI

 

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Part 3: The TOOLS

TOOL 1. Nego Pattern Reflection 

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Start by examining where you could use some help. Why? Because it could be a key to altering something about your physical health that you didn’t think was changeable.

Grab your journal! This is best done with a pen and paper… You’re going to reflect on yourself and your negative habits. So ruminate on the below:

  • What are the negative coping habits that you currently have? For example, how do you manage stress? How do you deal with conflicts in your relationships? How do you avoid any hard work in your relationships? How do you take short cuts to manage things like pain?

Identify areas that you want to begin to soothe, or balance. So if it’s something like anger, anxiety, soothing tactics, resistance to accept – what is your go-to knee jerk reaction to something hurting you in life? This is not about intent – it’s about a habit, or well trained in route that you tend to take. So think of it like a form of autopilot that takes over.

Once you identify something – acknowledge to yourself, either aloud or internally that you are willing to release this habit of being.  You want to let go of the emotional go-to pattern that has created a condition in your body. Like, “I want to stop shutting off with unhealthy mechanisms.” Great! This is a great starting point to create some specific new soothing habits!

TOOL 2. Power of Intention – Personal Mantra

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This is just a simple “personal mantra” tool to use in the moment you’re experiencing a negative or toxic emotion that you don’t want to have in your body. I invite you to begin a practice of just speaking aloud the intention to let something go. Use it as a way to help yourself cease criticism in your life. Cease any emotional thoughts you have coming from fear and anger as they are what create toxins in your body. So use this tool as a way to help yourself begin to navigate out of them when you can feel an old habit taking over.

PERSONAL MANTRA: “I choose to let go of this anger.” (or fill in the blank emotion)

That act – in itself – has a lot of power to change the flow of your thoughts and how you identify your true self in the midst of emotional turmoil. Repeat the phrase to yourself as a casual meditation while breathing deeply.  Say it over and over, slowly and calmly, with deliberate focus. No matter what it is or how serious an emotion it is, sometimes this is the key to finding a way out of it. I use it sometimes when I’m mad and I know I don’t want to be – just repeating my own truth, despite the chemical state of anger.

TOOL 3. Yoga for Emotional Processing

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The next series of tools are for the specific toxic emotions including anxiety, depression, emotional lethargy, anger, and stress.

Yoga balances the mind and the body because the relationship between the two is reflexive. You don’t want your mind running away with you or creating physical ailments, so you can use the body as a way to calm the mind and keep yourself holistically balanced. With the various yoga poses, you are getting fresh blood flow to the various parts of your body and also remedying the unhealthy habits of everyday life – bad posture, cramps in the various muscles, toxins we take in. Think of it like you’re cleaning out your insides with breath, stretching, and calming chemicals. Returning to a place of peace and tranquility.

The yoga sutras were crafted somewhere between 300 BC and 300 AD and they are based on the principle that the mind and body are one being but are put in constant turmoil because of everyday life. Dealing with life stresses the body, bringing about things like depression, anxiety, rage, and restlessness. So yoga is to bring calm and balance by moving in specific ways: each pose ties to a unique benefit. We usually think of it as JUST meditation or JUST stretching but there’s a whole lot more at play depending on the part of your body you’re moving. You’re affecting the nerves, glands, tissues, and cells in the respiratory, excretory, hormonal, digestive, nervous, reproductive systems of the body.  By holding poses and curbing your mental chatter, you’re helping to create equilibrium between the intellect and the soul. It’s a practice that allows you to create discipline in your emotional self – so it helps you MANUALLY control emotional impulses. That’s why it’s so helpful for PTSD and those who suffer from addiction— you take power away from your brain, and manually soothe your emotions by creating mental detachment.

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Now for the caveats section:

  • Keep in mind that these poses are helpful for managing the effects of the problems at play by targeting specific parts of your body but they are not a substitute for modern medicine. Think of this as a daily maintenance practice to be done in addition to necessary things like taking your meds and going to the doctor.
  • If you are not COMFORTABLE in these poses then don’t do them. Sometimes it takes a while to work up enough flexibility – so take your time, keep practicing and don’t force it.
  • If the descriptions and pix don’t translate perfectly, please Google the poses so you can learn better how to do them.
  • Take all of my suggestions in based on what feels right and safe for you – I am not a doctor, I just read a lot and do a lot of yoga. And this works for me! For reals it does, I use these on a regular basis. So hopefully there’s something in here that will work for you, too.
  • All of these poses must be practiced with sincerity. In other words, commit to doing them for real and use the utmost patience – they can’t be hurried through.
  • If you’re super pregnant don’t do these. Also, don’t do these if you have super high blood pressure. In short, please don’t hurt yourself.

HOW TO USE THESE

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Treat these as focused meditational practices for venting emotions. As you do a pose, first repeat your personal mantra – make it your “dedication” or “intention” for the mini-yoga practice. I suggest making one or two of these into a daily mini-meditative yoga processing sesh targeted at releasing one particular negative emotion.

During each pose, take slow, even breaths in and out of the nose. You don’t want to do any pose that causes you to hold your breath. That’s the opposite of yoga. So, back off a bit if you find it’s hard to breathe.

Try to hold each pose for at least 30 breaths and ideally 60 breaths. It’s best to do these barefoot and in comfortable clothing, but I do a lot of these at work so I think you could too if you are in need of immediate soothing.

For visuals, you can check out a gallery of the poses as demonstrated by me in my living room.

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FOR ANXIETY

If you suffer from anxiety, poses that circulate blood and also calm your heart are very helpful.  That’s why the poses I am recommending are folding poses – they squeeze your organs to your blood circulating through your body and relax the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight stress system.

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  • Standing Forward Fold

This pose soothes and calms the body and brain. It’s also good for depression. Stand straight with your feet hips-distance apart. (If you have problems balancing, stand with your back against a wall – completely flat.) Make sure your weight is even in your two feet.  Now fold forwards and let your torso completely relax, take slow, even deep breaths through your nose.

If you’re flexible, you can also hold onto your elbows. If this hurts a lot – then bend your knees slightly. If that hurts still, stack some books in front of you so that you can brace your weight on them while you fold.

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  • Sitting Forward Fold 

Because your heart is horizontal and not above you, the heart is relieved a lot of work pumping blood upwards, so blood circulates more easily. It’s great for calming. Sit on your butt and extend your feet straight out in front of you, keep your toes pointed upwards. Lift your arms up and keep your back as straight as possible, now fold forward over your legs and elongate your torso. If you can, touch your toes, otherwise rest your hands next to your knees or shins. If your hamstrings are tight, bend your knees a bit.

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  • Extreme Chest Stretch

Stand up very straight with upright posture. Put your hands together behind your shoulders like a reverse prayer position– or simply hold onto opposite elbows behind your back. It’s going to puff your chest out and feel like an intense stretch on your shoulders. You might want to ease into this one if it feels super awkward, just start with the holding opposite elbows.

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  • Restorative Inversion

If you are super stiff or just totally exhausted, then it’s always better to do a restorative yoga pose. Grab a towel or a blanket and roll it up into a sausage shape. Now, lie on your back on the ground – completely flat, and place that rolled towel just below your shoulder blades so it arches up your heart above the rest of your body. Ideally, it should be about 6 inches in width. Keep your arms splayed out to the sides of your body.

Serena Williams: Women And The Display Of Anger Part II Of II

 

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Credibility played an interesting role in this process: Both the credibility and the emotionality of female holdouts influenced how much confidence participants had in their own original verdict. However, when the female holdout expressed anger, credibility no longer played a predictive role. It’s as if the participants discounted an angry woman entirely and instead became more confident in their initial verdict. For men, on the other hand, expressing anger made them seem more credible, which, in turn, led participants to become less confident in their own verdict.

These findings have troubling implications about how seriously women are taken compared to men when they behave in the exact same way. As the authors note:

“Our results lend scientific support to a frequent claim voiced by women, sometimes dismissed as paranoia: that people would have listened to her impassioned argument, had she been a man” (p. 11).

The Hillarys of the world may feel the need to keep stifling their anger when people ask annoying questions, while the Donalds can let their rants go unchecked. And the ordinary woman who wishes to be heard may have to suppress her passion, no matter how strongly she feels about her point of view.

Research such as the ASU study can help shed light on the complex ways our biases influence the way we perceive men and women. We may hope that one day this research will allow people, regardless of gender, to allow us to achieve fulfillment by expressing our true passions.

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Types Of Anger

Most people use anger properly or in a good way, here is sixteen way to use anger in a good way.

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Good Anger:

The Value of Anger: 16 Reasons It’s Good to Get Angry

By Moshe Ratson, MBA, MS, LMFT

1. ANGER IS DESIGNED TO PROMOTE SURVIVAL

Emotions evolved to keep us safe. Our fight response, which evolved so we could defend ourselves from an enemy or danger, stems from anger. Anger is embedded in our primitive need to live and protect ourselves against aggression. Anger drives people to be extremely vigilant about threats and sharpens our focus. When we are threatened or attacked by a predator, anger is automatically activated and pushes us to fight back and act quickly and forcefully to protect ourselves.

2. ANGER’S DISCHARGE IS CALMING

When you are angry, you experience physical and emotional pain. When you experience physical and emotional distress, anger strongly motivates you to do something about it. As such, anger helps you cope with the stress by first discharging the tension in your body, and by doing so it calms your “nerves.” That’s why you may have an angry reaction and then feel calm afterward.

3. ANGER PROVIDES A SENSE OF CONTROL

Anger is related to a deep need for control. Anger protects what is ours, helping us feel in charge rather than helpless. The function of anger is to inflict costs or withhold benefits from others to increase our welfare. Individuals who experience and display their anger appropriately are in a better position to fulfill their needs and control their destiny than those who suppress their anger. That said, it’s important to guard against becoming obsessed by the sense of power anger may elicit.

4. ANGER ENERGIZES US

From a survival perspective, we defend ourselves when we retaliate and make other people fear us. Anger guards us when someone wants to hurt us. It gives us the strength and aggression to help us overcome a stronger enemy. In day-to-day situations, anger serves as a positive force to motivate us to stand up for ourselves and creatively find solutions to the challenges we face. As Richard Davidson says, anger “mobilizes resources, increases vigilance, and facilitates the removal of obstacles in the way of our goal pursuits, particularly if the anger can be divorced from the propensity to harm or destroy.”

5. ANGER MOTIVATES US TO SOLVE PROBLEMS

When we feel like things are out of place, we can get angry. If things are not the way they are supposed to be and need to change, anger propels us to do something and motivates us to find solutions to our problems. Anger is triggered when we face an obstacle or individual (or something else) that blocks our needs. It prepares us to deal with the obstruction or problem in our path so we can get to where we want to be.

6. ANGER MAKES US AWARE OF INJUSTICE

We often experience anger when we are denied rights or when faced with insults, disrespect, injustice, or exploitation. Anger serves as an internal guidance system that indicates something is not quite right, that someone has treated us unjustly or unfairly. Anger helps communicate to others: “You’d better treat me fairly; otherwise, you’ll pay a high cost.” On a global level, standing up for a lack of fairness can prevent people from taking advantage of others. This type of anger can bring about positive change in society and increase the social cost of misbehaving.

7. ANGER DRIVES US TOWARD OUR GOALS

Anger pushes us to pursue our desired goals and rewards. When we don’t get what we want, anger is triggered and indicates we have moved away from our desired objectives. Anger tries to eliminate whatever prevents us from realizing our desires. It energizes and pushes us to act in service of achieving our goals and working toward our ideals.

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8. ANGER INJECTS OPTIMISM

Surprisingly, anger can trigger optimism. It can encourage us to focus on what we hope to achieve, rather than merely focusing on the pain, insult, or victimization. The anger system is geared toward what is attainable, not the impossible. When we are angry, we often feel positive about our ability to change the situation, empowering us to take action and move from an undesirable position to a desirable one.

Anger serves as a social and personal value indicator and regulator. It is activated when our values are not in harmony with the situation we face. Accordingly, it makes us aware of our deep-seated beliefs and what we stand for.

9. ANGER PROTECTS OUR VALUES AND BELIEFS

Anger serves as a social and personal value indicator and regulator. It is activated when our valuesare not in harmony with the situation we face. Accordingly, it makes us aware of our deep-seated beliefs and what we stand for. It also motivates us to rectify the discrepancy and take action to change the situation (or our belief) to align the reality we face with our values.

10. ANGER IS A BARGAINING TOOL

Anger erupts naturally when someone puts a lower value, or weight, on your welfare relative to their own. Anger is designed to recalibrate the situation and thus increase our value. Anger also strongly asserts our position and may lead to compliance by others. Anger drives us to respond to conflict in a way that helps us bargain to our advantage. It causes others to rethink their positions against our position. It signals to the other side: “What you propose is too costly for me. You would be better off if you changed the value you assign to me (decrease my cost or increase your value).”

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11. ANGER INCREASES COOPERATION

If anger is justified and the response is appropriate, usually the misunderstanding is corrected, leading to increased cooperation. Anger tells others it is important to listen to us—that we feel annoyed and it is wise to pay attention to our words. Anger communicates: “I don’t like the situation, and we need to work together to find a better solution.” Anger makes you stand up for yourself and constructively challenge the other side. As such, anger encourages cooperation.

12. ANGER IMPROVES NEGOTIATING POSITIONS

Anger may lead to better outcomes in business negotiations. While two parties negotiate, the negotiator who seems angrier may be in a better position to tilt the agreement in their favor. Similarly, when one party believes the other negotiating side is angry, they may be more willing to compromise. In that regard, anger serves as a negotiating tool used to persuade, reach a deal, or improve the negotiated position.

13. ANGER COVERS PAINFUL FEELINGS

Similar to Sigmund Freud‘s defense mechanisms that exist to protect the personality from an unbearable anxiety when the ego is under attack, anger serves this critical psychological function. Anger is a raw, “superficial” emotion that prevents (defends/blocks) you from feeling even more painful emotions. For example, a person who was betrayed by their partner may use anger to control their partner rather than share their own pain, which is difficult to bear.

14. ANGER PUSHES US TO REACH A DEEPER SELF

Anger is generally a very apparent emotion and at times can be volcanic. Yet—like a volcano that is formed when magma pushes up through the earth’s crust from below, depositing lava on the surface—there are many forces that push anger to surface, such as fear and defensiveness. It might be a fear of losing control or fear of being alone, rejectedabandoned, unloved, etc. Anger provides insight into ourselves, as it is the layer of deeper issues that are most hidden. This is why it is important to trace the trail of anger and dig down to find and address its source. Only after addressing the blockage that leads to anger can we free ourselves from the misery it sometimes induces.

15. ANGER CAN LEAD TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Anger can make you a better person and can be a force of positive change. It provides insight into our faults and shortcomings. If looked at constructively, this can lead to positive outcomes. Just like motivation, it can lead to self-change. For instance, if one knows certain things make them angry, they can work on these triggers to improve their response to them and, by doing so, improve their quality of life and relationships.

16. FEELING ANGER ENHANCES EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Individuals willing to embrace uncomfortable emotions such as anger, rather than avoiding or repressing them, have greater emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent individuals do not resist anger, instead utilizing its “wisdom” to gain its positives. As a result, they have highly flexible emotional response systems and are more adaptive and resilient.

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Relational Anger or bad anger, basically it depends on the ability to be “pushed” into a anger situation or not.

Relational  Anger:

1. Resistant and passive anger:

These individuals believe that all anger is wrong or bad. They avoid conflict like the plague. They were told as children (or taught through actions) that all anger is unacceptable. These people bottle up their emotions and keep everything inside. They are prone to physical and mental illness.

2. Internet/tech rage:

Have you ever noticed that some people are especially prone to respond strongly to slow Internet speed or social media interactions? They may even go online seeking quarrels. Interestingly, this is also common in texting addictions which often also lead to anger issues.

3. Addictive anger:

Anger becomes addictive when it involves significant adrenaline rushes, which the individual comes to depend upon, psychologically and/or physically. This type of anger provides a sense of strength and courage. Interestingly, individuals who possess this anger type are often interested in—or engage in—violent media (TV, movies, video games and sports).

4. Petrified anger:

This anger is largely based on holding grudges and refusing to forgive. Individuals are reluctant to let their anger go. Instead they keep vendettas against others.

5. Compressive anger:

Individuals with this type of anger are walking time bombs. They have a hairline trigger, waiting to be ignited and set off. Once angry, it spirals out of control and they cannot contain it.

6. Jealousy:

This type of anger stems from childhood. It is largely based on abandonment and loss, often times parental divorce, or feeling a sense of rejection. One’s anger evolves to the need to possess—and even own others—This can lead to “stalking.”

CONCLUSION

Despite an unfavorable reputation, the concept of constructive anger is gaining more empirical support from researchers and can have a beneficial role in our lives. Anger is an integral part of our fight-or-flight mechanism. It had a survival necessity in the past and has some positive value in the present, too. The motivation and action that is powered by anger can move us toward reaching our goals. It pushes us to fix the wrongs we see in the world and make it right.

Extreme anger is effective in serious life-or-death situations. Yet, this modality is rarely useful in day-to-day living. The key to its effectiveness is for anger to be expressed with the appropriate intensity to the situation, while feeling it (rather than repressing it) and utilizing it in a wise manner. As Aristotle said, we have to be angry “with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way.” He added this is not easy.

I would like to end by using a metaphor: Anger, like a fire, is a primal force. When left unchecked, it can be destructive, yet when managed and used wisely, it can be a beneficial and powerful instrument that leads to enlightenment.

Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part II Of VI

 

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When negative emotions take a physical toll on our bodies

SARAH MAY BATES

September 19, 2015 5:20 pm

If you prefer to listen, here’s the Soundcloud podcast version of this post, also on iTunes.

Just like stress can cause you to get a tight knot in the muscles of your back, so too can other parts of your body hold tight to things like fear or anger or even malform due to a particular belief system.  Things like a pervasive feeling of lack in life can manifest in physical form in the way we digest food. You’ve probably heard things like this a million times and thought to yourself, “Ha – yeah right!” Because it’s a heady concept and not something you could test with a beaker tube. The power of the mind over the body comes off as super new-agey and therefore we all to often put it in the crazy pile. But the affects of how we hold onto emotional pain are quite severe, they manifest in disease and damage your gene code for future generations– so in my opinion, why not lean in favor of, “do something about it, regardless” because there’s nothing to lose, everything to gain.  OR, even just decide to stay open to what I am saying purely for the sake of practicing openness.

In broad strokes, I will go through some of the connections between emotions we hold onto and where they tend to get stuck in our body- plus a few tools to do something about it. I will post my references at the end of this post but in truth – if you suffer from chronic pain, go to a doctor! And if you suffer severe emotional pain, see a therapist! This is not a substitute for either of those. And just so you know what you’re getting into – this is an episode all about the body, with a whole lot of yoga to soothe particular negative emotions that get stuck in our body. If that doesn’t appeal to you – you probably won’t like this episode– but I will bet you get something valuable out of it regardless. This is about the body, so I’m going to talk about things like pooping – so if that’s not what you want to listen to right now, then maybe save this for another time. If you’re worried I’m going to go into anything too hippy dippy, I hear you- it’s a turn off. It’s almost like you think you like the person you’re talking to and suddenly you hear something they say and think, “Ah okay – I understand, you’re a crazy person.” So I’m going to try my best to keep this as grounded and relatable as possible. Again – I’ll ask you to please, receive what I say without judging it on the way you. Allow yourself that experience: to listen with total non-judgment and openness. A simple resting state of, “Maybe that IS true.” There are three parts – the what, the why and the how.

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Part 1: The What

Just like a physical injury, when you go through a particularly painful emotional experience, it will manifest in the way you think, feel, act and therefore live.  The effects it will manifest in your body in more ways than simply the chemicals released in your brain. Because we’re complex and every system is interconnected: there’s a whole chain reaction that occurs one something becomes a pattern. Balance is thrown off. Just look at the affect of driving with your right foot. We have a race of humans with a right leg slightly shorter than our left.  The tendons gets tighter.

So just like different people deal with stress differently – some explode, some eat it, some run it off, the ways we manage toxic emotions is different depending on who we are and the tools we are dealt genetically. Depending on your sensitivities and also your ability to manage extremely overwhelming types of pain – sometimes you don’t release the emotion, and instead we clench. We bury.  We control. We manage them in unconscious ways – and this is when we “hold” onto them, deep inside ourselves. It is when we do not process and vent these toxic emotions that they manifest an imbalance in physical form in our bodies. We take out the emotion on our body instead of moving through it consciously.

For example, if you have a delicate stomach to begin with and you have problems processing stress – and therefore you internalize stress, you might develop a stomach ulcer. Or, if you have intense anxiety and do not process the emotion, the imbalance in your chemicals causes an allergic reaction: your immune system might react with an itchy rash or you might break out with zits. The connections between toxic emotions are common and quite logical. An unmanaged toxic emotion creates chronic pain when it becomes a pattern enacted over a length of time.  That’s when these imbalances become too much to simply continue treating the symptoms. When your chemicals are upset, weird stuff happens! Which is why it’s so vital to your long-term health and the DNA you pass along to your kids – to effort to live with balance, to soothe your body and help yourself to recognize and pass the pain instead of holding onto it. Because we inherit our stuffed emotional problems from the generations before us in the form of gene-degradation. There is such a thing as culturally inherited trauma.

If you don’t process pain correctly, don’t be bummed at yourself – it’s likely because you were incapable of dealing with it a different way – it’s come about as a self-defense mechanism. All of these come in to play when you need to cope: usually at an age when we are overwhelmed and the feelings are simply too much.  This is not about blame, it’s about changing yourself now, today, moving forward: recognizing where you want to focus healing yourself, changing your ways, and working on it deliberately with small actions. Change is much easier from a grown-up, stable place in your life – the you who is capable, now, today.

Emotional pain needs to be confronted and processed so that it can be released. When you harbor emotions like resentment or fear or anger, you allow the emotion – with all its toxic chemicals, to fester inside. Where, depends on your particular make up as a person – but it will create an upset to your system, one that arises from chronic imbalance. Resistance creates tension. The pain grows a point of focus.

When you learn to manage pain, growing up, if you’re not totally skilled in the form of self-expression – or perhaps you are more vulnerable to your environment, you will create coping mechanisms.  These will form a kind of muscle-memory inside your body, like curling into a ball to protect yourself, but in much more varied and specific places.

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Part 2: The Why

If you were to connect the dots between emotional causes and their effects in the body, they would make a whole lot of sense. It’s almost like drawing a map of the flow of your chemicals throughout the day, and how they are altered by specific stressful emotions and life-patterns. Patterns, like managing emotions – are unconscious. They are our ‘story’ and therefore they define us, but because they are habits, they can also trap us. Depending on what you choose to tell yourself – you will be strong or weak: a victim to your troubles or powerfully conquering them. It all comes down to a choice and an awareness of having a choice, in the first place.

I know it’s hard to believe that you could cause the physical pains you suffer from, because that means you have a hand in something you’re helpless against. How can you stop something you can’t see you’re doing? If you were told by your doctor that you could change the way you feel your pain, you’d likely say, “Go to hell, jerk. I came here to get some help.” Because you’re IN your body and can’t separate from it, when it’s hurting or revolting you feel you are a victim. This is all about taking small deliberate steps to self-examine and mentally separate as much as possible for the sake of the potential benefits. To look deeper and question the beliefs you hold to be true and slow down your patterns so that you can apply a new approach. It’s rare that we even question our own belief systems or try to take apart our patterns – because they’re cemented into our identity.  Yet the benefits are immense: everything in the rest of your life changes if you start a new habit, today.

So let’s talk specifically about some of the common spots we hold pain in the body. Anger when kept inside, boils and infects the body. Resentment festers, guilt leads to pain. Anxiety creates imbalance and lack of focus, and comes from a lack of trust or faith in the flow of life. Here are some typical manifestations of pain:

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Stomach issues like indigestion usually relate to dread and fear of the new. Commonly, if you have stomach problems you internalize anxiety, fear, or you experienced a trauma.

Back pain is usually a sign of un-vented anger. Depending on how bad the pain is, your anger might be very old and intense because it’s the anger of a child. Does that sound weird to you? Picture a cartoon character that’s super mad and turning red. They don’t look bendy and relaxed, they look completely tensed. You could think of back ache as a pinched nerve caused by rigidness in life: tension affects the various ligaments and tendons – and then eventually, the nerves. If your childhood involved managing a lot of unmet needs – like maybe you were angry and never voiced the anger, this storing of emotion might manifest as back pain.  So if you have excruciating back pain that has caused an avalanche of other effects – there’s a likelihood you hold a lot of anger.

Skin problems like rashes and acne are often tied to feelings of threat. Internalized stress and panic can cause an allergic reaction. Like your body starts fighting itself.  I get allergic reactions to stress and anxiety that makes me itchy all over. It’s nutso man.

Constipation is related to a holding onto things. It’s usually paired with a feeling of lack in ones life –that it’s never going to be enough. So if you are often constipated, analyze the rest of your habits in life. Are you a person who feels like you don’t have “enough” money or love or success? That you’re never satisfied?

Fat (I know this is a weird one) but holding onto fat, particularly in the belly, is tied to feelings that we didn’t get enough emotional nourishment.  It’s tied to emotional neediness and sensitivity, like you didn’t get enough love growing up.

Spinal misalignments have so many specific connections to emotional health that it’s too big to attack in a blog like this. But, in short – if your spine is misaligned it can irritate a ton of different things in your nervous system that affect your mental outlook.

Coincidentally, the sacrum (the bones you sit on) is where many of us hold onto the oldest of anger: emotions to do with loss of power in our youth; old stubborn anger. In yoga, sometimes people are hit with intense emotions and tears while doing intense hip openers: it holds a lot of old weird stuff – this body of ours.

If any or all of these bodily connections DON’T ring true for you and you’re feeling that urge to shut off because this just sounds way too extreme and hippy to you – I feel you! It’s totally that kind of topic – especially if you’re not used to thinking of the power of your mind in this way.  Instead of completely dismissing all of this, I would ask you to instead think about what does seem logical to you based on your particular ailments. Ask yourself, “What could be a pattern in my emotions that could be creating (xyz physical problem)?” Trust your instincts – if you have a theory, place some value in it. If not just for the sake of the next section where we do some yoga!

35 Things You Might Not Know About Mister Rogers

PBS Television/Courtesy of Getty Images
PBS TELEVISION/COURTESY OF GETTY IMAGES

 

In this episode of our YouTube series, John Green brings you a whole pile of things you should know about everybody’s favorite neighbor. Here’s a transcript, courtesy of Nerdfighteria:

Hi, I’m John Green, welcome to my neighborhood. This is mental_floss, and today we’re going to talk about Mr. Rogers, with whom I have a lot in common. By the way, thanks to copyright laws, that’s the only picture of Mr. Rogers we can afford, so you’ll be seeing a lot of it today. But yes, Fred Rogers and I have many similarities:

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1. We both considered becoming ministers (he actually did).

2. Both happily married to women named Sara(h).

And we both make stuff for young people… although I don’t think that his work has been banned from several dozen high schools in Tennessee.

[intro music]

3. Mr. Rogers was an Ivy League dropout. He completed his freshman year at Dartmouth, and then transferred to Rollins College so he could get a degree in music.

4. And he was an excellent piano player; not only did he graduate from Rollins “Magna cum laude,” but he wrote all of the songs on the show, as well as more than 200 other songs, and several kids’ operas including one called “All in the Laundry.”

5. Mr. Rogers decided to get into television, because when he saw it for the first time he, “hated it so.” When he turned on a set, all he saw was angry people throwing pies in each others’ faces, and he vowed to use the medium to make the world a better place.

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6. Over the years, he talked to kids about their feelings, covering topics as varied as why kids shouldn’t be afraid of haircuts, or the bathroom drain (because you won’t fit), to bigger issues like divorce and war.

7. In the opening sequence of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, the stoplight is always on yellow. That’s a reminder to kids and parents to slow down a little.

8. Also, Mr. Rogers wasn’t afraid of dead air time, unlike me: Once he invited a marine biologist and explorer onto his program to put a microphone into his fish tank, because he wanted to show the kids at home that fish make sounds when they eat. However, while taping the segment, the fish weren’t hungry so the marine biologist started trying to egg the fish on, saying “C’mon,” “It’s Chowtime,” “Dinnerbell.” But Mr. Rogers just waited quietly. The crew thought he’d want to re-tape it, but Mr. Rogers just kept it… to show kids the importance of being patient.

9. Fred Rogers was a perfectionist, and so he disliked ad-libbing. He felt that he owed it to children to make sure that every word on his show was thought out. But here at mental_floss, we love ad libbing because it’s much less work.

10. In a Yale psychology study, when Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood went “head to head,” kids who watched Mr. Rogers not only remembered more of the story lines, but their, “Tolerance of delay,” a fancy term for their ability to wait for promised treats or adult attention, was considerably higher.

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11. Mr. Rogers was also beloved by Koko the Gorilla, you know Koko the Stanford educated Gorilla who can speak about 1000 words in American Sign Language; she watched The Neighborhood, and when Mr. Rogers made a trip to meet her, she not only embraced him but she did what she’d always see him do on screen: She proceeded to take his shoes off.

12. Those shoes were store bought, by the way, but every one of the cardigans Mr. Rogers wore on his show was knit by his mother.

13. Today one of them resides in the Smithsonian – a red one. Mr. Rogers chose to donate that sweater, because the cameras at his studio didn’t pick up the color very well.

14. Mr. Rogers could start to feel anxious and overwhelmed, and when he did, he liked to play the chords to the show’s theme song on the piano on set in order to calm himself.

15. The other way you could tell he was exasperated? If he said the word, “mercy.” Mostly, he said it when he got to his desk in the morning, and the mountains of fan mail were a little bit too tall. But, “mercy” was about the strongest word in his vocabulary.

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16. And yes, Mr. Rogers responded to every single piece of fan mail. He had the same routine every morning: wake up at 5:00AM. Pray for a few hours for all of his friends and family, study, write, make calls, reach out to every single fan who took the time to write him, go for a morning swim, get on a scale, then start the day. My morning routine is a bit less ambitious than that; Mr. Rogers, I thought you were supposed to make me feel good about myself! You just made me feel terrible!

17. But speaking of that daily weigh-in, Mr. Rogers watched his weight very closely. And he’d like to weigh exactly 143 lbs (65 kg). By the way, he didn’t drink, smoke, or eat the flesh of any animal. NATCH.

18. Why did Mr. Rogers like the number 1-4-3 so much? Because it takes 1 letter to say “I”, 4 letters to say “love,” and 3 letters to say, “you” (Jean –Luc Picard).

19. Now it starts to get a little weird. So, journalists had a tough time covering Mr. Rogers because he’d often, like befriend them, ask them tons of questions, take pictures of them, compile an album for them at the end of their time together, and then call them afterwards to check in on them and hear about their families. He genuinely loved hearing the life stories of other people.

20. And it wasn’t just reporters. Like once, on a fancy trip up to a PBS executive’s house, he heard the limo driver was gonna have to wait outside for two hours, so Mr. Rogers insisted that the driver come in and join them. And then, on the way back, Rogers sat up front, and when he learned that they were passing the driver’s house on the way, he asked if they could stop in to meet the family. And according to the driver, it was one of the best nights of his life. The house lit up when Rogers arrived, and he played jazz piano and bantered with them late into the night.

21. Okay, so thieves, Smithsonian curators, reporters, limo drivers, kids, all these people loved Mr. Rogers, but someone has to hate him, right? Well, LSU professor Don Chance certainly doesn’t love his legacy: He believes that Mr. Rogers created a, “culture of excessive doting” which resulted in generations of lazy, entitled college students… and that makes sense, because generally the deterioration of culture can be traced back to a single public television program.

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22. Other curious theories about Mr. Rogers that are all over the Internet: That he served in the army and was a sniper in Vietnam;

23. That he served in the army and was a sniper in Korea;

24. That he only wore sweaters to cover up the tattoos on his arms. These are all untrue. He was never in the army; he never shot anyone; he had no tattoos.

25. One other rumor we’d like to quash? That he used to chase kids off his porch on Halloween. That’s crazy! In fact, his house was known for being one of those generous homes that give out full-size candy bars… because of course it was!

26. In fact, for all the myths that people want to create about him, Mr. Rogers seems to have been almost exactly the same person “off screen,” as he was, “onscreen.” As an ordained Presbyterian minister and a man of tremendous faith, Mr. Rogers preached tolerance first. He never engaged in the culture wars; all he would ever say is, “God loves you just the way you are.”

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27. He was also kind of a superhero, like when the government wanted to cut public television funds in 1969, the then relatively unknown Mr. Rogers went to Washington and almost like straight out of a Capra film, his testimony on how TV had the potential to give kids hope and create more productive citizens was so passionate and convincing, that even the most gruff politicians were charmed… and instead of cutting the budget, funding for public TV jumped from $9M to $22M.

28. Years later, Mr. Rogers also swayed the Supreme Court to allow VCR’s to record TV shows from home. It was a cantankerous debate at the time, but his argument was that recording a program like his allowed working parents to sit down with their children and watch shows as a family. Plus, it allowed him to watch Captain Stubing on The Love Boat anytime he wanted, without having to stay up till 8:30PM.

29. He was also heavily parodied, but most of the people who made fun of him, loved him. Like Johnny Carson hoped his send up of The Neighborhood would make Mr. Rogers more famous.

30. And the first time Eddie Murphy met Mr. Rogers, he couldn’t stop himself from giving the guy a big hug.

All right, we’re running out of time, so let’s speed this up.

31. Mr. Rogers was color-blind. I mean that figuratively, like his parents took in African-American foster children, and he loved people of all backgrounds equally, but also literally.

32. Michael Keaton got his start on the show: He was a puppeteer and worked the trolley.

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33. Mr. Rogers once made a guest appearance on Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman as a pastor’s mentor.

34. And many of the characters on his show took their names from his family. Like, McFeely was his grandfather’s name, Queen Sara is named for his wife.

35. And lastly, we return to the Salon so I can tell you probably my favorite story about Mr. Rogers: that he could make a whole New York City subway car full of strangers sing. He was rushing to a meeting and there were no cabs available so Mr. Rogers jumped on the subway. The car was full of people, Rogers assumed that he wouldn’t be noticed, but he quickly was, of course, and then people burst into song, chanting, “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.”

Thanks for watching mental_floss, which is made with the help of all of these lovely people and remember that you make every day special just by being you.

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Thank You For Reading!!!!

Serena Williams: Women And The Display Of Anger Part I Of II

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Serena Williams the professional women’s tennis sensation, and her Tennis winnings have been on display for the past 20 years, but this week her anger was full-court and it was 15-0. This brought a huge buzz around the news media and to other media outlets, the question, Was she right to display her anger like that? but more so, Why was she so angry? Which begs the big question: Is there a discrepancy of how angry men are treated when angry in tennis, and women are treated in sports and even in life???

One of the key individual and the posted-child for men’s anger in tennis, That was talked about this week, was the treatment of the male tennis John McEnroe: Great tennis star of the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. Tennis Great, with “$12,539,622 in official earnings and 77 singles titles, third most behind Jimmy Connors’ 109 and Ivan Lendl’s 94. He won 17 Grand Slam championships, including nine in men’s doubles (seven with Peter Fleming) and one in mixed doubles with Mary Carillo at the French Open. His Davis Cup record was 41-8 in singles and 18-2 in doubles as he helped the U.S. win five Cups.” To his record of accomplishments.

His anger was on display so much that they called: “a whiner, a super talent nicknamed Superbrat.” However because he was a man, he wasn’t questioned, got a game taken away, Nor was he fined Like Serena Williams was. “Is this a double standard or are women in treated and taxed differently in society for being angry???”

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What Is Anger

HARRY MILLS, PH.D

Anger is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people. Typically triggered by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling that occurs when we think we have been injured, mistreated, opposed in our long-held views, or when we are faced with obstacles that keep us from attaining personal goals.

The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are different for each person. People also vary in how easily they get angry (their anger threshold), as well as how comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are always getting angry while others seldom feel angry. Some people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to recognize anger when it occurs. Some experts suggest that the average adult gets angry about once a day and annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Other anger management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen times a day is more likely a realistic average. Regardless of how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable emotion.

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Anger can be constructive or destructive. When well managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action to correct that wrong thing. How you end up handling the anger signal has very important consequences for your overall health and welfare, however. When you express anger, your actions trigger others to become defensive and angry too. Blood pressures raises and stress hormones flow. Violence can ensue. You may develop a reputation as a dangerous ‘loose cannon’ whom no one wants to be around.

Out of control anger alienates friends, co-workers and family members. It also has a clear relationship with health problems and early mortality. Hostile, aggressive anger not only increases your risk for an early death, but also your risk for social isolation, which itself is a major risk factor for serious illness and death. These are but two of many reasons why learning to properly manage anger is a good idea.

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Do Men And Women Experience Anger Differently:

Anger across the gender divide

Researchers strive to understand how men and women experience and express anger.

By MELISSA DITTMANN

Both men and women are often ashamed of their anger, although it appears they may experience their anger differently, according to ongoing research. For example, gender socialization can affect how men and women handle their anger, researchers have found.

“Both men and women have been poorly served by the gender socialization they have received,” says psychologist Sandra Thomas, PhD, a leading research-er in women’s anger who has recently also begun studying men’s experiences with anger. “Men have been encouraged to be more overt with their anger. If [boys] have a conflict on the playground, they act it out with their fists. Girls have been encouraged to keep their anger down.”

Indeed, anger in men is often viewed as “masculine”–it is seen as “manly” when men engage in fistfights or act their anger out physically, notes Thomas, director of the nursing doctoral program at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. “For girls, acting out in that way is not encouraged,” she says. “Women usually get the message that anger is unpleasant and unfeminine.” Therefore, their anger may be misdirected in passive-aggressive maneuvers such as sulking or destructive gossip, she says.

In her view, however, neither approach in its extreme is healthy. It is important, Thomas says, for both men and women to be clear and forthright when they are angry and to use problem-solving techniques in dealing with their anger.

“Things are not getting better in anger behavior,” notes Thomas, who cites the many incidences today of violence among children. “We need to understand what anger is about before we can intervene effectively.”

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Differences in anger expression

Also needed, researchers say, are efforts to dislodge gender stereotypes about anger. June Tangney, PhD, for example, has called into question common assumptions about women and anger, such as the notion that women have trouble with anger. Women don’t have a problem with anger–they just manage it differently, says Tangney, professor of psychology at George Mason University.

Women tend not to be as aggressive as men in expressing anger and tend to talk about their anger more, she says. “They are more proactive and use more problem-solving approaches in discussing a problem with a person they are angry with,” says Tangney.

And what makes ordinary women angry day-to-day? In 1993, Thomas conducted the Women’s Anger Study, a large-scale investigation involving 535 women between the ages of 25 and 66. The study revealed three common roots to women’s anger: powerlessness, injustice and the irresponsibility of other people.

While research has not yet suggested that different factors trigger men’s anger, researchers continue to uncover differences in how men and women experience it. Such was that case for Raymond DiGiuseppe, PhD, chair of the psychology department at St. John’s University in New York, in his research to develop a new anger disorder scale. In a survey of 1,300 people ages 18 to 90, DiGiuseppe investigated 18 subscales of anger, including how individuals experience their anger, how long the anger lasts and what they get angry about. While he found that differences in men’s and women’s total anger scores were not significant, he did find differences in the way they experience anger. Specifically, men scored higher on physical aggression, passive aggression and experiences of impulsively dealing with their anger. They also more often had a revenge motive to their anger and scored higher on coercing other people.

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Women, on the other hand, were found to be angry longer, more resentful and less likely to express their anger, compared with men. DiGuiseppe found that women used indirect aggression by “writing off” a higher number of people–intending to never speak to them again because of their anger.

Anger slowly decreases with age, DiGiuseppe found, and differences in the domains of anger between the sexes decreases for those older than 50, although men are still more likely to be aggressive and women are still more likely to have longer episodes of anger. DiGiuseppe’s research will be published this year by Multi-Health Systems, a Canadian publisher of psychological tests.

Future directions

Thomas has expanded the scope of her research and replicated some of her studies on American women’s anger with women from different countries, such as France and Turkey. She has also conducted a study aimed at understanding the meaning of men’s anger. Her research is awaiting publication in the APA journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity.

Anger researchers Deborah Cox, PhD, Patricia Van Velsor, PhD, and Joseph Hulgus, PhD, are working to validate an anger diversion model. Cox first developed the model with Sally Stabb, PhD, and Karin H. Bruckner, authors of “The Anger Advantage” (Broadway, 2003). The model holds that when individuals bypass awareness of their anger, the diversion process can cause anger symptoms. In support, the team has found women who either try to mask their anger, or externalize and project their anger irresponsibly, were at higher risk for anxiety, nervousness, tension and panic attacks.

Cox, a Southwest Missouri State University psychologist and assistant professor, hopes that researchers will also apply the anger diversion model to men and boys. “It may be that men are more reinforced for using certain diversion forms over others–and more than women,” Cox says. “However, it seems that the underlying process may be the same across genders, and it’s one that could be translated, ‘Your anger is wrong and should be gotten rid of as soon as possible.'”

To get at such complexities, researchers may need to try new approaches, Cox says. “Much of what we must do demands that we talk to women and men and get their stories about anger, versus testing them in a paper-and-pencil type of format,” she explains. “Only through getting people’s verbatim stories can we get a real sense of how they interpret their own anger.”

How Are Men And Women Perceived When Anger?

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Why Don’t We Trust Angry Women?

In a study that won several prizes, Arizona State University psychologist Jessica Salerno, with University of Chicago-Illinois psychologist Liana Peter-Hagene (2015), investigated what happens when women and men become angry during jury deliberations. In these situations, jurors often find themselves needing to sway the opinions of others. The stakes are high: The jury’s decision will decide the fate of another human being, and if they get it wrong, an innocent man or woman may be sentenced, or a guilty party go scot-free. Emotions run high and speeches can be very passionate.

If women and men are perceived differently when they express their anger in impassioned speeches, then their influence on fellow jurors should reflect these impressions. If you’re taken seriously when you get angry, you may persuade others to change their mind; if you’re viewed as a lightweight, you’ll be ignored.

To create a scenario that would reproduce what juries do in a controlled experimental setting, Salerno and Peter-Hagene recruited an ethnically diverse sample of 210 undergraduates (about two-thirds of them female) to participate in a computer simulation of the deliberation process. Participants read transcripts from an actual murder trial, saw photographs of the crimescene, and viewed several other photos that weren’t from the trial but gave the scenario greater credibility. The evidence was sufficiently ambiguous to lead participants in a prior study to vote for conviction only 62% of the time; in the present study, 43% of participants arrived at a guilty verdict.

After deciding on their verdict, participants encountered the simulated jury deliberation. They read scripts from other jurors in which one “holdout” refused to go along with the majority opinion. The holdout was identified by name as either a male or a female, and their arguments contained anger (“Seriously, this just makes me angry”), fear (“It scares me to think about how…”), or no emotion at all.

The fear condition was important because the researchers needed to control for the expression of any emotion. If fear and anger produced the same reaction, then one could argue that the effects were due to emotional arousal rather than the specific effects of anger.

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Salerno and Peter-Hagene measured the influence on jurors of being exposed to these conditions by having them rate the confidence they had in their initial verdict both before and after reading the scripts from the holdouts. The key question would be whether the participants became less confident in their verdict after reading what the holdout had to say.

The team‘s findings presented clear evidence that men and women have differing influence when they express opinions in an angry manner. Participants were more likely to doubt their initial judgments after hearing what an angry male holdout had to say, but were more confident in their own judgments after reading the angry woman’s arguments. Everything in the two conditions was the same—except the holdout’s gender.

As Salerno and Peter-Hegene observed (p. 9), “Expressing anger created a gender gap in influence that did not exist before the holdout started expressing anger or when the holdouts expressed fear or no emotion.” This effect was specific to anger, not fear. Further analyses revealed the reason for this gender gap: Participants regarded an angry woman as more emotional, which made them more confident in their own opinion.

Continue To Part II Next Wednesday

Understanding, Controlling, Repairing, And Manipulating Emotions Part I Of VI

This is how your brain constructs emotions

Book excerpt: How emotions are made

By Lisa Feldman Barrett March 7, 2017

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HOW EMOTIONS ARE MADE

Where do your feelings come from? Lisa Feldman Barrett explains with neuroscience in How Emotions Are Made.

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

The following is excerpted from How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett.

For my daughter’s twelfth birthday, we exploited the power of simulation (and had some fun) by throwing a “gross foods” party. When her guests arrived, we served them pizza doctored with green food coloring so the cheese looked like fuzzy mold, and peach gelatin laced with bits of vegetables to look like vomit. For drinks, we served white grape juice in medical urine sample cups. Everybody was exuberantly disgusted (it was perfect twelve-year-old humor), and several guests could not bring themselves to touch the food as they involuntarily simulated vile tastes and smells. The pièce de résistance, however, was the party game we played after lunch: a simple contest to identify foods by their smell. We used mashed baby food—peaches, spinach, beef, and so on—and artfully smeared it on diapers, so it looked exactly like baby poo. Even though the guests knew that the smears were food, several actually gagged from the simulated smell.

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Simulations are your brain’s guesses of what’s happening in the world. In every waking moment, you’re faced with ambiguous, noisy information from your eyes, ears, nose, and other sensory organs. Your brain uses your past experiences to construct a hypothesis—the simulation—and compares it to the cacophony arriving from your senses. In this manner, simulation lets your brain impose meaning on the noise, selecting what’s relevant and ignoring the rest.

The discovery of simulation in the late 1990’s ushered in a new era in psychology and neuroscience. Scientific evidence shows that what we see, hear, touch, taste, and smell are largely simulations of the world, not reactions to it. Forward-looking thinkers speculate that simulation is a common mechanism not only for perception but also for understanding language, feeling empathy, remembering, imagining, dreaming, and many other psychological phenomena. Our common sense might declare that thinking, perceiving, and dreaming are different mental events (at least to those of us in Western cultures), yet one general process describes them all. Simulation is the default mode for all mental activity. It also holds a key to unlocking the mystery of how the brain creates emotions.

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Outside your brain, stimulation can cause tangible changes in your body. Let’s try a little creative simulation with our bee. In your mind’s eye, see the bee bouncing lightly on the petal of a fragrant white flower, buzzing around as it searches for pollen. If you’re fond of bees, then the utter of imaginary wings is right now causing other neurons to prepare your body to move in for a closer look—preparing your heart to beat faster, your sweat glands to fill, and your blood pressure to decrease. Or if you have been badly stung in the past, your brain may ready your body to run away or make a swatting motion, formulating some other pattern of physical changes. Each time your brain simulates sensory input, it prepares automatic changes in your body that have the potential to change your feeling.

Your bee-related simulations are rooted in your mental concept of what a “Bee” is. This concept not only includes information about the bee itself (what it looks and sounds like, how you act on it, what changes in your autonomic nervous system allow your action, etc.), but also information contained in other concepts related to bees (“Meadow,” “Flower,” “Honey,” “Sting,” “Pain,” etc.). All this information is integrated with your concept “Bee,” guiding how you simulate the bee in this particular context. So, a concept like “Bee” is actually a collection of neural patterns in your brain, representing your past experiences. Your brain combines these patterns in different ways to perceive and flexibly guide your action in new situations.

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Using your concepts, your brain groups some things together and separates others. You can look at three mounds of dirt and perceive two of them as “Hills” and one as a “Mountain,” based on your concepts. Construction treats the world like a sheet of pastry, and your concepts are cookie cutters that carve boundaries, not because the boundaries are natural, but because they’re useful or desirable. These boundaries have physical limitations of course; you’d never perceive a mountain as a lake. Not everything is relative.

Your concepts are a primary tool for your brain to guess the meaning of incoming sensory inputs. For example, concepts give meaning to changes in sound pressure so you hear them as words or music instead of random noise. In Western culture, most music is based on an octave divided into twelve equally spaced pitches: the equal-tempered scale codified by Johann Sebastian Bach in the seventeenth century. All people of Western culture with normal hearing have a concept for this ubiquitous scale, even if they can’t explicitly describe it. Not all music uses this scale, however. When Westerners hear Indonesian gamelan music for the first time, which is based on seven pitches per octave with varied tuning, it’s more likely to sound like noise. A brain that’s been wired by listening to twelve-tone scales doesn’t have a concept for that music. Personally, I am experintally blind to dub-step, although my teenage daughter clearly has that concept.

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Concepts also give meaning to the chemicals that create tastes and smells. If I served you pink ice cream, you might expect (simulate) the taste of strawberry, but if it tasted like sh, you would find it jarring, perhaps even disgusting. If I instead introduced it as “chilled salmon mousse” to give your brain fair warning, you might find the same taste delicious (assuming you enjoy salmon). You might think of food as existing in the physical world, but in fact the concept “Food” is heavily cultural. Obviously, there are some biological constraints; you can’t eat razor blades. But there are some perfectly edible substances that we don’t all perceive as food, such as hachinoko, a Japanese delicacy made of baby bees, which most Americans would vigorously avoid. This cultural difference is due to concepts.

Every moment that you are alive, your brain uses concepts to simulate the outside world. Without concepts, you are experintally blind. With concepts, your brain simulates so invisibly and automatically that vision, hearing, and your other senses seem like re- exes rather than constructions.

Now consider this: what if your brain uses this same process to make meaning of the sensations from inside your body—the commotion arising from your heartbeat, breathing, and other internal movements?

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From your brain’s perspective, your body is just another source of sensory input. Sensations from your heart and lungs, your metabolism, your changing temperature, and so on, are like ambiguous blobs. These purely physical sensations inside your body have no objective psychological meaning. Once your concepts enter the picture, however, those sensations may take on additional meaning. If you feel an ache in your stomach while sitting at the dinner table, you might experience it as hunger. If flu season is just around the corner, you might experience that same ache as nausea. If you are a judge in a courtroom, you might experience the ache as a gut feeling that the defendant cannot be trusted. In a given moment, in a given context, your brain uses concepts to give meaning to internal sensations as well as to external sensations from the world, all simultaneously. From an aching stomach, your brain constructs an instance of hunger, nausea, or mistrust.

Now consider that same stomach-ache if you’re sniffing a diaper heavy with pureed lamb, as my daughter’s friends did at her gross foods birthday party. You might experience the ache as disgust. Or if your lover has just walked into the room, you might experience the ache as a pang of longing. If you’re in a doctor’s office waiting for the results of a medical test, you might experience that same ache as an anxious feeling. In these cases of disgust, longing, and anxiety, the concept active in your brain is an emotion concept. As before, your brain makes meaning from your aching stomach, together with the sensations from the world around you, by constructing an instance of that concept.

Continue With Part II Of VI

The New Apple Launch And No “Beats”??? Is Apple Trying To Get Rid Of This Icon Music Listening Device???

Does Apple still care about Beats?

The Apple subsidiary is getting competition from its parent company

Apple’s big fall iPhone event is tomorrow, but if you’ve been hoping for something new from Beats, prepare to be let down. The company does not plan to announce any new hardware from Beats, the largest premium headphone company in the world, a source close to the situation tells The Verge. In fact, any and all evidence surrounding new headphones from the company points toward new products directly from Apple. There’s a strong chance that we’ll see an updated pair of AirPods. There has also been talk about Apple producing its own over-the-ear headphones, which would presumably compete against options from Beats, the headphone company Apple spent $3 billion acquiring.

There’s a good chance 2018 will end with no new products from Beats at all, which is uncharted territory for the headphone maker. Since Apple bought Beats Electronics in 2013, its subsidiary has released either a new pair of headphones or a speaker every year until now. That may seem like a jarring shift at first, but upon closer inspection, you’ll notice that Beats has largely only made iterative updates: it’s on the third edition of its Solo, Studio, and Powerbeats lines, all of which have received minor updates over the years instead of releasing truly new and innovative products. The last new headphones it introduced were the BeatsX back in 2016, and those have yet to receive an iterative update.

What Beats has done extremely well is leverage its position as a staple of youth, sports, and fashion culture. You’ll see Beats headphones being worn by many of the top athletes in the world and in a number of music videos from major artists in order to sell the same headphones over and over again, despite the lack of new hardware. Beats consistently releases new colorways of its headphones (a marketing strategy popularized by Jordan Brand and employed throughout the sneaker and fashion industry) to keep its brand relevant. But one would think Apple spent billions on Beats for more than its engineering team that helped create Apple Music and some periodically repainted headphones.

To be fair, that strategy has worked: Beats just inked a deal to be the official headphones of the NBA and USA Basketball; it has signed major celebrities like LeBron James, Neymar, Colin Kaepernick, and Serena Williams as brand ambassadors; and, by most metrics, it owns nearly 50 percent of the premium headphone market. But it could be argued that this isn’t necessarily due to the quality of the products — the Studio 3s are good headphones, but not the best in the industry, as Vlad Savov noted in his review — but more so because of the company’s exceptional marketing team.

So what would happen if Apple actually developed products for Beats as more than an afterthought? We may never know. Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman reported that Apple is preparing its own over-the-ear headphones that would compete directly with the Studio 3 and Solo 3 headphones, the bread and butter of its subsidiary. Apple’s standalone audio history has been up and down recently; it found success with its wireless AirPods, but it’s had a much tougher time with its HomePod smart speaker making inroads against Amazon’s Echo and the Google Home speaker.

In his report, Gurman noted that the upcoming over-the-ear headphones from Apple are designed to compete for the high-end headphone market, an area that Beats has targeted with its Beats Pro (which also haven’t received an update in years). And Apple’s AirPods have already claimed a large portion of the wireless headphone market, which will likely exclude Beats from entering into that forum. Apple is going after both the high-end headphone market and the wireless market without utilizing the headphone company it purchased. If Apple doesn’t release new products from Beats unless they are iterative updates to existing products — let us not forget the Beats Pill, which hasn’t been updated since 2015 — what space does that leave for Beats to evolve as more than a sideshow for Apple’s self-branded products?

Jordan Brand earns most of its cache from the retro shoe colorways it created in the ‘80s and ‘90s, but it still releases a pair of new shoes every year for athletes and customers who want the latest and greatest in sneaker technology and comfort, despite competing against its parent company Nike in nearly every respect. The relationship has become symbiotic, benefiting both parties for the greater good of the organization. But from the outside looking in, the relationship between Apple and Beats is seemingly parasitic, with Apple siphoning off what it needs from Beats at will — be it a music streaming service or engineers to build a new pair of wireless headphones. That isn’t uncommon when acquisitions take place, but, normally, those companies are merged within the parent organization, not kept around at arm’s length while maintaining their own identity.

Back in 2014 when Apple acquired Beats, I wrote that part of the reason for the deal was that Apple needed an in to black culture, an area it would harness when it came time to launch its streaming music service. And it has done just that: nearly every major hip-hop release on the service pulls in more streams than Spotify, which has over 100 million more users. Apple leveraged the culture that Beats brought with it along with its own excellent marketing teams to build a service that has become the go-to place for hip-hop fans. But just because Apple has reached this point with Apple Music doesn’t mean it should neglect Beats, which is still one of the main aspects that connects Apple to the youth and urban markets besides iPhones.

Apple has its eyes set on the high-end audio market to compete against the likes of Audio-Technica, Bose, and a rapidly improving headphone ecosystem. But neglecting the team that has been able to sell slightly above-average headphones at a breakneck pace for nearly a decade doesn’t seem like a smart business move for either party. If you are the official headphone company for United States Basketball, it seems wise to continue releasing new headphones. And if you are Apple — and your history with headphones and speakers has precisely one win, despite many attempts — you should lean on the company you own that hasn’t missed yet.

Max Fleischer: The History And Unveiling Of The Cartoon Betty Boop Part II Of II

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Betty Boop Made Her Debut

Fleischer created a number of firsts with his brother, including the “bouncing-ball” sing along cartoons, which were silent but synchronized to the cinema orchestras. His cartoon “Song Car-Tune” was the first cartoon with a soundtrack, and was produced in 1924. Betty Boop was the first female cartoon star, making her debut in 1930. She was the girlfiend of an unpopular character named Bimbo, who starred in Dizzy Dishes, and she soon had her own series. The Fleischer brothers’ creation was a sexy woman in the form of a cartoon character. Gary Morris recalled her appearance in Bright Lights Film Journal, “Betty is best remembered for her red-hot jazz baby persona. With a head like a giant peanut, vast mascara’d eyes, too-kissable lips, baby-doll voice (courtesty of singer Mae Questel), flattened marcelled hair, and mere threads of a dress exposing miles of hot flesh, she was the perfect celluloid sex toy.”

A far cry from the wholesome characters being created at the Disney Studios, Betty Boop not only appeared sexy but acted the part. She was often shown undressing and kissing clowns, cats, and other creatures. While other cartoons of the time were focusing on the charming lives of adorable animals, the Fleischers had Betty running around in her slinky costumes, living the life of a provocative young woman. The general trend in movies and cartoons was more respectable, and Betty Boop was bucking this trend. Amelia S. Holberg discussed the differences between Disney and the Fleischers in American Jewish History, “By the time Pinocchio was released, Disney had redefined animation as a children’s genre. The very adult Betty Boop, on the other hand, was a flapper, a flashy city party girl, not a respectable lady and definitely not an appropriate character for children’s films.” The Hays office Production Code was instituted in 1934, and censors transformed Betty Boop into an all-American girl, clothing her more fully and temporarily banning her garter. The series ended in 1939, but there was a Betty Boop revival in the 1970s. She starred in a touring film festival, “Betty Boop’s Scandals,” and was featured in Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 1984. 1985 saw Betty Boop’s network television debut, and her sixtieth birthday was celebrated in the animated special, “Betty Boop’s Hollywood Mystery.”

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Popeye the Sailor Man

Max and Dave Fleischer followed up their Betty Boop success with another popular character’s introduction in 1933. Popeye was a result of stiff competition among animation studios. A key part of the studios’ business strategies was the development of cartoon characters whose popularity would guarantee bookings by major theater chains. Disney’s Donald Duck and Goofy were developed from smaller roles in Mickey Mouse cartoons, and Warner Bros. created Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck after their initial success in films featuring other animated animals. E.C. Segar created a comic strip called “Thimble Theater” in 1919. He introduced Popeye into the strip as a temporary character, but when Segar attempted to write Popeye out, fans complained and he returned as Olive Oyl’s love interest. Max Fleischer requested the right to use Popeye from Hearst’s King Features Syndicate and was granted permission two years after Betty Boop’s debut.

Due to the very satisfying quality of the first Popeye production, the agreement between Fleischer and King Features was extended to a five-year term even before the film’s release. The movie, entitled Betty Boop Presents Popeye the Sailor, marked the beginning of Popeye’s highly successful series. Within five years, Popeye was the most popular American cartoon character. Fleischer was so confident, he attempted to convince film distributor Paramount to back a feature-length Popeye movie, but the shorts they created were the most profitable Popeye productions.

Disney moved into feature films in 1937 with the success of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, forcing the Fleischers into entering this new arena. They produced the feature-length cartoons Gulliver’s Travels and Mr. Bug Goes To Town in 1938 and 1941, both of which bombed. Their expansion, which involved enlarging their staff to produce the features, proved unsuccessful. In 1942 Paramount forced the brothers out of their own studio. Amidst this disappointment, the Fleischers premiered the first Superman short in 1941.

Max Fleischer went on to direct films, which include 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Dr. Doolittle, Compulsion, Tora Tora Tora, and The Jazz Singer. After Paramount bought his studio, Fleischer worked for that company as production chief of cartooning until he retired in the 1960s. Fleischer died of heart failure on September 11, 1972, in Woodland Hills, California. He was survived by his wife, Essie, and two children.

One after another, voice actors appeared before the judge. This was no ordinary courtroom testimony—they were there to squeak Betty Boop’s signature “boop-boop-a-doop.” It was 1934, and Betty Boop was on trial. (http://biography.yourdictionary.com/max-fleischer)

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Betty Boop

The cartoon vixen was an unlikely candidate for a lawsuit—and for popularity. She “was never intended to be a continuing character,” says animation historian Ray Pointer, author of The Art and Inventions of Max Fleischer. In fact, the original 1932 version of Betty Boop, created by Fleischer Studios, wasn’t even human. Rather, she was a talking, singing French poodle with long, floppy ears.

Animator Max Fleischer. (Credit: Science History Images/Alamy Stock Photo)
Animator Max Fleischer. (Credit: Science History Images/Alamy Stock Photo)

But soon, Betty’s ears became earrings and she was reinvented as a human being. The new Betty Boop was a vivacious flapper who drove a car, did popular dances and showed plenty of skin. Her wide eyes and sexy looks were a hit with audiences—as was the fact that she was a clear parody of popular singer Helen Kane. The squeaky-voiced jazz singer was known for her sexy lyrics and baby-like singing, and Betty Boop delivered a spot-on imitation.

Kane’s delivery—including her signature “boop-boop-a-doop”—was “a theatrical staple going back years,” says Pointer. Like the vaudeville performers that preceded her, Kane used her little-girl voice to deliver lyrics that would have been shocking in the mouth of another singer.

The New York Times called her “the most menacing of the baby-talk ladies”—a reference to a vaudeville phenomenon also used by performers like Fanny Brice and Irene Franklin. Two years before Betty Boop’s debut, Kane had skyrocketed to fame with the song “That’s My Weakness Now,” which used the phrase “boop-boop-a-doop” as shorthand for sex.

The original caption to these images claimed that Betty Boop was based on Helen Kane, before the lawsuit in May.
The original caption to these images claimed that Betty Boop was based on Helen Kane, before the lawsuit in May.

Audiences would have recognized the send-up of Kane, now a Paramount star. But so did Kane herself—and when she experienced economic hardship due to a layoff, she took legal action against the animation studio. She sought $250,000 in damages and no further showings of Betty Boop cartoons—and claimed that phrases like “boop-boop-a-doop, boop-boopa doop, or boop-boopa-do, or boop-a-doop or similar combinations of such sounds or simply boop alone” were her own—part of what she called her “baby vamp” act.

But Max Fleischer, the animation pioneer who owned the studio, didn’t back down. He brought three women to court who had voiced Betty Boop—each of whom claimed they hadn’t imitated Kane and did their Betty Boop voices to prove it. The judge watched footage of Fleischer cartoons and Kane performances.

Eventually, says Pointer, “the court stenographer threw up his hands. Some of the testimony became almost hilarious.” The press had a field day with the concept of a performer attempting to protect her popular “boops.”

It seemed like Kane had a legitimate case—and her lawsuit made it all the way to the New York Supreme Court. But it stalled there, thanks to the origins of her signature sound. The Fleischers trotted out a number of witnesses who claimed they’d heard “boops” and baby talk in nightclubs, cabarets and vaudeville theaters before Kane became famous.

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The Betty Boop Show, 1971. (Credit: AF archive / Alamy Stock Photo)
The Betty Boop Show, 1971. (Credit: AF archive / Alamy Stock Photo)

And then came talk of Baby Esther, the stage name of an African-American performer named Esther Jones. Baby Esther’s manager claimed that Kane and her manager had seen Jones perform in 1928, then copied her style. This was corroborated by Kane’s manager, says Pointer. Baby Esther herself was not available to testify, presumably because she was dead. But Fleischer Studios provided a screen test—now lost—of Jones that convinced the judge Kane had copied the singer.

To this day, there are no confirmed photos or recordings of Jones, and Jones herself never testified in the lawsuit. Nevertheless, says Pointer, “It was just so silly they wanted to get on with it,” bringing the lengthy lawsuit to a close without staging a widespread search for Jones. Kane lost the case, and Betty Boop kept on booping. A vindictive Max Fleischer even gathered his Betty Boop voice actors on camera to make fun of the lawsuit during a newsreel—and not long after, Betty Boop herself appeared in a cartoon called “Betty Boop’s Trial.”

As for Kane, she faded from popularity. When she died in 1966, the New York Times recalled her as a “once giggly, wiggly brunette”—and told the story of how she squandered her fortune on a failed clothing company.

(Moviestore collection Ltd/Alamy Stock Photo)
(Moviestore collection Ltd/Alamy Stock Photo)

A Boop-related lawsuit may have seemed silly, but it pointed to the outrageous popularity of Betty Boop. Her sexually suggestive dancing, squeaky voice and seductive costume, complete with garter, captivated audiences. Her songs were racy enough to raise eyebrows, but not explicit enough to make the cartoons unacceptable. “That’s why they were fun,” says Pointer. Even though she was given a more modest makeover after the passage of the Hays Code in 1934, she stayed popular until she was discontinued in 1939. The dog-turned-doll-like heroine has lived on through syndication and merchandising since television’s early days.

Though the flapper age was over by the time Betty Boop took to the screen, she was beloved by Depression-era audiences. “The public embraced her because [she] reminded them of the carefree days of the 1920s,” says Pointer. And as the most unique human woman cartoon character of her day, she became a fan favorite.

For Pointer, she’s important for another reason: her music. “The cartoons helped to promote and expose the public to jazz and swing,” he recalls. And Betty Boop’s cartoons help preserve America’s long-gone vaudeville tradition—one that was based, in large part, on the contributions of unacknowledged African-American performers.(www.history.com/news/the-people-v-betty-boop)

More Betty Boop Throughout History

The journey of the first sex symbol in cartoon history. Sounds…interesting. But also weird, right? It’s complicated. Betty Boop was created by Max Fleischer and drawn by Grim Natwick in the early 1930s for an animated short entitled “Dizzy Dishes.” She was a nightclub singer, and an object of the attentions of lustful men (yep, it sure was the 1930s). Audiences loved her, and Paramount Studios took notice of the people clamoring for more cartoons “with that girl in them.”

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Betty Boop was one of the most successful cartoon characters of the early 1930s. Even as the Great Depression cast the nation into decidedly unsexy times, Betty’s image could be seen on everything from playing cards to nail polish to cigarette cases. Her appeal was real, even if she was…well, a cartoon.

In 1934’s Poor Cinderella, Betty appeared in color for the first time, as a redhead:

That same year, the Hayes office (Hollywood’s official censor) introduced a new production code imposing rigid standards on sexual suggestion in film. Betty’s backless dress was replaced with a much longer dress with sleeves and a collar; her garter belt was never seen again. Betty was now portrayed as a schoolteacher, secretary, and babysitter…not so much as a nightclub singer. In 1939, Fleischer Studios released the swan song of the original Betty Boop series: “Yip Yip Yippy.”

Image result for Max Fleischer“Yip Yip Yippy.

But in the 1980s, Betty Boop returned (nostalgia was big back then). Check out “The Romance of Betty Boop” from 1985 — the full-length cartoon was set during the Great Depression, and even featured a Cab Calloway song as a throwback to the originals

And of course, in 1988’s Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Betty makes a cameo in a sultry scene that we have to assume is the most meta homage to the sexualization of cartoons in film history.

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So much for the Hayes office’s pearl-clutching censorship. So what does the legacy of Betty Boop mean today? Well, for one thing, it means we have a rich, complicated, and very Woolly cultural framework to ponder with our next show, Collective Rage: A Play in Five Boops.

We hope you’ll join us. Boop boop a doop. (medium.com/collective-rage-a-play-in-five-boops/betty-boop-throughout-history-eb5d17dd8a75)

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Death & Legacy

After years of battling with Paramount, Fleischer’s health began to deteriorate. During that time, he fought to regain the title to Betty Boop, a battle he eventually won by the time if his death. When Fleischer passed away on September 11, 1972 from arterial sclerosis of the brain, Time magazine referred to him as “Dean of Animated Cartoons.” His son Richard, a film director, wrote Out of the Inkwell: Max Fleischer and the Animation Revolution (University Press of Kentucky), a biography about his father which was released in 2005. The Art and Inventions of Max Fleischer (McFarland, 2016) by Ray Pointer also covers the Fleischer’s life and pioneering work. (/www.biography.com/people/max-fleischer-082515)